AUTHOR: Goddess Isa
EMAIL: Goddessisa@aol.com
SUMMARY: Buffy returns to Angel's lair......for absolutely no reason =)
SPOILER: Revelations
DISTRIBUTION: Sure, just email me & lmk where it's going - I like seeing my name in print =) You can find it at my site, http://planetslaythis.homestead.com
FEEDBACK: Please, I'd hate to have to Slay for it. =P
RATING: TV-14 (I know, I'm no fun)
DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters, Joss Whedon does. If he ever decides to give them to me, that would be nice. =) I do not own "Angel" by Sarah McLachlin, although I REALLY wish I could take credit for that masterpiece =)
DEDICATION: To Pamela, who saved me endless hours (and log offs) worth of looking for the lyrics by reminding me of where I could find them =)
NOTE: I'm sorry in advance about the song. It was the only one that fit, even if it's been overused, it's perfect. Long live Sarah McLachlin!
"I shouldn't be here," Buffy whispered to herself when she turned the corner onto Angel's street. She knew he would be in the living room, meditating. She liked watching him that way, so serious, so focused.
She threw her convictions about staying away from him out the window and went into his lair.
He sat on the floor, just as she'd pictured, bare chested, hands resting comfortably on his knees, his eyes closed. Candles were lit all around him.
She stayed in the doorway, careful not to disturb him. She watched as he took a deep breath, for relaxation, not for need, and then opened his eyes. "Buffy." he didn't seem surprised.
She walked in, took her coat off and threw it on the couch. "You were expecting me?"
"No, I just sensed you there."
//Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay\\
She sat down beside her coat and sighed. "I don't know why I'm here."
He knelt before her. "I do."
"Don't pretend it if you don't mean it."
"What does that mean?"
//There's always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day\\
"Angel, we aren't anything to each other."
"Oh Buffy, you know that's not true."
"Tell me what we are."
//I need some distraction
Oh a beautiful release\\
He grabbed her and kissed her. She wanted to pull away with every brain cell, but her heart and soul forced her deeper into the kiss.
//The memories seep from my veins
That may be empty
Oh and weightlessly maybe\\
She finally pulled away. "Don't do that."
He grinned. "Say it like you mean it."
She grabbed him, held him close, looked into his eyes....and the only words that would come were "I love you."
"I love you too."
//I'll find some peace tonight
In the arms of the Angel
Fly away from here
From this dark, cold, hotel room
And the endlessness that you feel\\
She beat her fists against his chest, knowing she wasn't hurting him. "I hate this. I hate us, the way we are."
"Why?"
"Do you really have to ask me that?"
He took he hands in his and kissed them. "Look Buffy. I love you. I already lost you once, I'll take you any way I can get you."
"I don't think this is ever going to be enough for me."
"Maybe it has to be."
She stood up and walked over to the fireplace. For a few moments, she got lost in the flames, the way they scattered about. It was sort of like life, flying all over and then disintegrating.
"Buffy?"
"It's funny," she sat down and warmed her hands by the fire. "Before you were trying to get me to back off because of the age difference and everything else, and now it's kind of reversed."
"It doesn't have to be."
She turned around and looked at him. "I can't just be friends with you. Kissing you, holding you, it's not enough."
"It used to be."
"That was before! It's different not! We've.....changed and nothing can be the same ever again."
//You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the Angel
May you find some comfort here\\
He walked over to her and let her fall into his arms, sobbing. He carried her over to the couch and sat down with her in his lap. She remained there for a long time, then she looked up at him. "Don't you know how much I wanna be with you? I wanna tell the world about this amazing guy I'm in love with."
//So tired of the straight life
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
Storm keeps on twisting
Keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack\\
"So tell them."
"Angel...."
"I love you. You love me. Isn't that all that matters?"
//It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time
It's easier to believe
In this sweet madness
Oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees\\
Buffy forgot about thinking, reality and everything else contained in her brain. She kissed him and let it all fly away from her, like the smoke from the fire.
What Angel had said was right, it was all that mattered to them. Or it should've been. She fell asleep in his arms, dreaming in peace for the few minutes with love ruled all.
//You're in the arms of the Angel
May you find some comfort here\\