Summary: Rosa can't keep those thoughts out of her head. Where will she go to calm down?
Word Count: 1553
Disclaimer: I don't own Brooklyn Nine-Nine or the characters.
She didn't want to admit it, but it was really hard.
It was hard to come back to her apartment after the experience she just had.
She likes to think of herself has an emotionless person, but prison changed that. She could only think of how she was never going to see her family again, family as in biological family and her adoptive one, the 99.
She could only think of how it would be to go back to them, to do the Halloween heists, the Jimmy Jab games, hell even working with them. All she wanted was to be able to get a drink with them, a simple drink. And she didn't want to be silent then.
And so, she didn't. They spoke about everything they wanted. Nothing related to prison. But just what happened in the precinct, with Terry's kids and Nikolaj. Terry kept talking about how unbearable it was to spend those weeks without them, almost earning a hug from Jake, but he got away from ti – and Charles used that opportunity to hug Jake, that just groaned and then smiled.
She honestly was the happiest around them, they made her feel welcome. But she would never admit that. Never.
But never say never.
Because when she walked into her apartment, the feeling of being alone crept inside of her. She shrugged it off, got into her pajamas and went to bed. She thought she would fall asleep instantly, after all that bed was way more comfortable than the ones she slept in for the last eight weeks. Instead, she became restless, turning from side to side, without being able to fall asleep. Every time she closed her eyes, she could only imagine what life could have been if instead of eight weeks she would have been there for the whole fifteen. Would the squad move on? Maybe the only person that was still would be Jake, that is if Amy didn't move on. She didn't want to think of that but the moment she thought of that, she could only imagine Jake's face seeing Amy with another man.
She got up. Rosa couldn't close her eyes anymore. All she saw was pain, nightmares, and prison. It was bad.
She couldn't take it anymore. She needed to get out of there. But where?
Rosa couldn't go to Charles' house. He would be sleeping holding his wife, with his kid in the next room. There would probably be a smile on his face since his best friend was finally back.
She couldn't go to Amy's house. Jake was there with her, and they needed to be left alone. Together.
Captain's house was off the question. It would be awkward.
Terry's? Maybe, but he would be all supportive and mushy.
Gina? She just had a baby! But maybe it would be the best person to be with at the moment. She wouldn't say anything, and she would keep it to herself if she asked.
She didn't even change clothes. Grabbing her jacket and her helmet, she left her apartment.
She drove her motorcycle as fast as she could without breaking any laws. She couldn't use her police lights since she didn't have them in that vehicle.
Once she arrived at Gina's apartment building she thought of going back home, pretend she could actually be alone. Facing her nightmares and fears, that is what she should do.
But it was too late.
"Rosa?" She heard, and she looked up where she met Gina. "What are you doing here girl?" Gina smiled, thinking it was the first time since Rosa went to jail that she had seen her. That was almost two months ago. Damn, she actually missed her.
"I-" Nothing. She couldn't find one good reason to be there, bothering Gina.
"Come in," Gina shouted since there were three floors between them.
Sighing, Rosa entered the apartment building, taking her time climbing up the three flights of stairs. She didn't want to face Gina, didn't want to face her emotions about her time as a prisoner. She just wanted to take her bike and ride it until the end of the world, leave all of her life behind her, start fresh.
But she was already in front of her door, and it was already open. Gina was nowhere in sight, so she just entered and closed the door behind her. Rosa leaned against the door while waiting for Gina to be back, softly hitting her helmet against her own leg. It was comforting, like when her mom and dad kissed her bruise when she was a little girl.
How times changed! There was no amount of kisses to treat her bruised heart, now.
"Hey, sorry, had to put Iggy to sleep." Gina apologized and sat down on the couch. She patted on the couch for Rosa to sit next to her, and she did.
They sat down in silence, for just a little time.
"So... what are you doing here?" Gina said, testing the waters.
Rosa took a breath before speaking. "I don't know. Maybe this was a mistake. I should go." She got up, but Gina grabbed her arm.
If this was someone else, Rosa would yell at them, probably threaten to break their arm. But this was Gina freaking Linetti. She would break their arm too.
"Rosa. Are you having a hard time settling in your apartment?" Gina asked, letting go of her arm.
Rosa stared into her eyes. She knew it was probably the best to talk it out with someone, but she was so scared. She sniffled, involuntarily, and that caused Gina to smile. It was a pity smile, Rosa knew, but she didn't care at that point.
Rosa nodded. Gina sat back on the couch and turned the TV on. Rosa sat next to her, just like Gina suspected she would do.
It didn't take long for Rosa to fall asleep right there. The sleepless nights on jail, plus the emotional stress of being treated like a caged animal, adding to the crazy day she just had, that took a toll on her. Gina lied her down on the couch carefully, trying not to wake her up, took a pillow and put it under her head, and a blanket that she used to cover her up.
"Nighy night, Rosie," Gina whispered, smiling. She was back home. She was going to be okay.
Gina woke up with a weird noise coming from inside the house. Waking up, she noticed her clock with big red numbers showing it was a little over three am.
She got up, a little groggily. Dragging herself to her daughter's room, she noticed she was sound asleep: sleeping like a baby, mentally reminding herself to tell Jake that, so that they could both laugh a little bit. Also, tell him all about her baby, since he didn't even meet her. (She was born while he was still in jail, so he didn't meet his niece.)
She heard the noise once again and mentally slapped herself – softly because she wasn't being punished or something. Rosa was in there too.
More awake than before, Gina went to the bathroom, where she was seeing light coming from. When she entered, she saw something she thought she would never see: a vulnerable Rosa Diaz.
That sight was something she would rather never see.
That woman that was always seemingly tough, was now pale as a ghost, with her eyes red from crying, her breathing shallow and rapid, and was hugging her knees tightly. In that corner of the bathroom, Rosa Diaz could only remember Holt and Terry's faces, but instead of seeing their supportive attempts of softening her stay there, she was hearing them yelling that she was a failure, a disgrace to her family, that no one cared for her.
She was starting to believe that.
Until she appeared in the dark. She kicked herself from turning on the light, thinking for just one second she shouldn't have. But quickly those thoughts were forgotten, and Rosa was being crushed by a Gina Linetti that was trying t comfort her. Rosa doesn't remember when the tears started to appear, but the ones that weren't falling to her shirt were falling to Gina's shirt.
But she didn't care.
And she also didn't want that crushing hug to end. But she was finally breathing normally, Holt and Terry disappeared from her head, and her tears subsided. She looked at Gina that just grabbed her hand and pulled her up.
"Come on." She simply said, pushing her out of that bathroom and into her bedroom. "Don't think about leaving." She pulled her into the bed, pulled the covers, tightly holding Rosa to the bed. She then proceeded to enter the bed herself, looking at Rosa.
"Thank you, Gina." Rosa murmured.
"Don't mention it." Gina smiled, and she kept staring at Rosa, waiting for her to fall asleep. As soon as her breathing evened and her face softened, Gina closed her own eyes, trying not to picture herself in jail, or how hard must have been to be in there not knowing when they were coming back. Grabbing Rosa's hand, she fell asleep.
The End
First attempt at a Dianetti story. How did I do?