Kiss Me, I'm Dying
There was no reason it had to be this way. There was no reason for that fight. There was no reason for that ill-timed crash. There was no reason he had to be taken from me so fast. No reason for him to be taken at all. I mean really, what am I going to do now? What is an obsessive compulsive, manicly depressed raven supposed to do without his ray of sunshine?
I wipe the blood from my hands & onto my jeans as I stand. I know it will stain & I know I will cry & hyperventilate as I scrub it later tonight. I look at the men in the pressed white shirts with patches on them with tear-filled eyes.
"Get him out of here." The words are hard & final.
The paramedics seem a little startled by the command but silently carry out their grim assignment. Now, I'll have to go to the station with the cops & explain my side of this broken story. I'll have to tell them what I did. I'll have to tell them what he said. I'll have to tell them why he was speeding down the road on his motorcycle too blind by fury & pain to pay attention. I'll have to explain that ultimately my words are the cause of his death.
"I'll follow you." I slide into the driver's seat of my own exotic Italian sports car without another word.
I wait for them to pull away from the scene before I leave. The ambulance has already headed the other direction to the hospital, he's dead & I know this so I don't follow them. The music is loud in the car. An alternative rock band blares in my ears. It's almost like the heavy music is drowning out my pain. Then, as I come to a stop light the song changes. It's a Blink 182 song from the early two thousands. This song fits he & I. The chorus makes me cry.
Don't waste your time on me
You're already the voice inside my head
I miss you
I miss you