I'll Kiss Your Lips Again
Chapter one: Awakening
In which Sasuke stumbles onto a whole other side of himself.
Huzzah! The story's being rewritten, folks! I can't stand knowing that something so poorly-written is allowed to exist on my account! ^^ Therefore, I'm going through the whole thing and rewriting it until I'm satisified. Maybe I'll end up doing the same thing in a few years! -Let's hope not-
Warnings:
This story contains incest, romantic and sexual love between two males, bad language, violence, blood and lots and lots of angst. (:
The above warning applies to the whole of the story, though only the cursing actually takes place in this chapter.
Enjoy!
"No! Itachi, NO!" I half-screamed, half-giggled as my older brother's fingers sharply jabbed at my ribs, making me squeal with laughter.
I wriggled out of his grasp and leapt towards the door, laughing the whole time. My heart was in my throat, my grin wide with excitement. Hearing Itachi coming after me, his feet slipping over the hardwood floor of the hallway, I laughed loudly to myself as I scurried into the living room to get away from his persistent tickling. He was getting closer and closer to me and within seconds, I was on the ground, pinned down by Itachi. Straddling my waist, he held my arms down by my sides and pushed his face close to mine. My heart was already pounding but its rate increased tenfold as I lay beneath my brother.
"Foolish little brother." He hissed, and I bit back a giggle.
Squirming beneath him and his intense dark gaze, I tried to break free. Of course, my brother was ten times the ninja I was and the age gap between us meant that his strength was much greater than mine. I had no chance of escaping. One of his hands moved to pin my wrists above my head and the other proceeded to poke at my ribs, enticing more laughter to slip through my lips. My muscles felt even weaker from the continuous laughter and this seemed to amuse Itachi, as he only sniggered at my feeble attempts to get him off of me.
After what felt like hours of "Itachi's Tickle Torture", he stopped and we both started laughing hysterically. He collapsed onto the floor next to me, his raven bangs falling into his onyx eyes as he chuckled happily. Our eyes met when he turned his head to me and for some reason, it felt like I couldn't look away. There was something about the depth of his dark orbs that drew me in; made me feel like I was falling. It was ridiculous really, considering how similar our eyes were anyway. Perhaps my own eyes were just not as beautiful as his. A slight twinge of envy sparked in my chest but I dampened down the jealousy firing up. We were brothers, not enemies.
While I was lost in my own musings, I didn't notice Itachi leaning closer to me, face close to mine once more. He turned onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow as he lowered his head towards mine. My breath caught in my throat. What was he doing? Not of my own accord, my eyes started to drift closed as if I were caught in a genjutsu or being hypnotized. Light confusion settled on my racing mind but then I realized that I was waiting for a kiss… waiting for the kiss that never came.
Itachi seemed to snap back to his senses.
With the grace that Uchihas were thankfully blessed with, he swiftly jumped up and backed away from me, my wide eyes following his movements.
"I- Sorry- I've got to go." He stammered, regaining composure as he hurried out of the room.
I lay there, stunned and breathing heavily with thoughts of what had just happened speeding through my head. I didn't want those thoughts to keep spinning like they did, but I couldn't think of anything else. Frustrated, I pounded my fist against the hardwood floor, feeling the pain of the action echo through my hand as the sound did through the empty room.
We were too old for those kisses now. I still got squeamish when my mother would give me a kiss on the cheek goodnight- it had been years since I last kissed my brother for any reason. Nose wrinkling at the mere thought, I ignored the pounding in my chest and got to my feet. According to the clock hanging above the fireplace, it was only half-past two in the afternoon. Despite the early time, the adrenaline rush had left me drowning in exhaustion. All I wanted to do was sleep but I knew that my mum would just wake me up. "You won't sleep tonight!" She'd say… so I didn't bother wasting my time by going to bed, I just grabbed my shuriken pouch and headed outside.
Despite the fact that it was early September, the sun was shining brightly that day, though the chilling breeze of autumn hung in the air. I shivered as I made my way over to the clearing in the Uchiha complex training ground behind my house. It was the perfect place to practice my shuriken technique. Usually, I preferred Itachi to accompany me in my training but he was normally too busy to help me out, as my father always was.
Facing the first target, I breathed deeply and reached into my weapons pouch, taking out three; one between each knuckle of my right hand. With a powerful jump, I leapt into the air, whipping my wrist out and firing the shuriken at the targets. Landing back down on the ground, my feet meeting the dusty floor with a dull thump, I realised I had only hit four out of the five targets. Growling with anger, I clenched my fists tightly as I refrained from yelling out my frustration.
"Damn it." I cursed quietly, gritting my teeth as I willed my body to relax.
To most training ninja my age, four out of five was a good achievement. To me, it was failure and it tasted bitter in my mouth. I was an Uchiha and I could not even aim shuriken correctly… it was pitiful. Taking a breath, I tried to refocus. My eyes squeezed tightly shut but I soon realised that there was a scene playing out behind my eyelids, stuck on replay. That stupid near-kiss was refused to leave.
Hissing, I repositioned myself, pushed the memory from my hectic mind and tried again. I tried until my hands were all cut up from my fierce handling of the metal stars and my chest was heaving from the effort of moving in the air like I did. By the time it grew dark, I was shattered, the exhaustion from earlier in the day crashing over me tenfold. Wearily, I dragged myself back to the house and slipped off my shoes at the entrance. I rested my bag of weapons on the table and urged myself to remember to polish them later when I wasn't so tired. Somehow, I doubted that I'd get around to doing that on the same day; I was on the verge of collapsing where I stood.
My chest was still burning for oxygen as I slowly walked into my bedroom and slumped down on the bed. It was dark inside and it was such a comforting change to the brightly-lit hallway of my house. Eyes drifting closed, I tried to calm my breathing.
"Did it not go well, little brother?" Itachi's voice startled me from my relaxation.
Instantly, my eyes snapped open and fixed on my older brother leaning against my doorframe, a smirk playing on his lips. Once my initial surprise wore off, I averted my gaze, embarrassed and ashamed. Not only would I have to explain my failure to Itachi, I had just made a fool out of myself by not noticing his appearance. Today was just not my day.
"No, actually, it didn't." I murmured, sitting up a little against the pillows.
With a contemplative hum, Itachi gave a short nod of understanding and stepped into my room.
"How many of the targets did you hit?" He asked, voice soft as he made his way over to my bed. My tired heart skipped a beat.
"Only four," I muttered bitterly, glaring down at my hands – that ached from the constant repetition of the same movements needed for throwing shuriken. "No matter how hard I tried."
The mattress dipped with Itachi's weight and his sudden bark of dry laughter surprised me, my eyes snapping up to his, lit with amusement.
"Sasuke, there are only five targets out there anyway…" He said, as if I was delusional and unable to understand him properly.
My lips tightened into a scowl and I lightly kicked at his back with my foot.
"I know that." I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest.
A short sigh escaping his lips, Itachi frowned.
"Four out of five is good, Sasuke. Anyone else would be pleased with that result."
"You wouldn't." I retorted, voice quiet.
Itachi shook his head, his fingers curling and uncurling in the bedspread on which we sat.
"No," he disagreed. "Father wouldn't, but I would be perfectly satisfied."
After a moment's silence spent watching Itachi's slender fingers playing with the dark cotton of my blanket, I spoke up, saying what I knew was circulating in my older brother's mind as well.
"In this family, what we want or would be doesn't matter." I whispered, and Itachi nodded slightly, raising his gaze to meet mine.
I was too busy analysing the strange look in his eyes to notice that his hand had made its way over to mine, resting limply on my stomach, to curl his fingers over my own lightly. Startled, I stared down at our touching hands, my skin tingling at the contact. Giving a gentle squeeze, Itachi started to get up, his hand leaving mine.
Before he straightened up completely, he leaned forward and brushed my bangs away from my forehead in order to press a light kiss there.
"It won't always be this way," he promised. "I'll make sure of it."
Stunned, I could only nod, accepting his words and the weight that came with them.
"So be happy." He murmured, drawing back and poking the same spot that he kissed, hard.
"Ow!" I protested, snapped out of my daze by the small jolt of pain.
"Like that hurt, you big baby." Itachi smirked, turning to leave my room. "Dinner's going to be ready in five minutes, by the way."
With a goofy grin that I was glad that Itachi missed – his back was turned – I swung my legs round and clambered out of bed to follow him down the hallway to the kitchen.
My mother was already sitting at the table, a bowl of salad, a plate of rice balls, and a steaming bowl of noodles and vegetables laid out before her. She smiled warmly at me as I entered the room, her dark eyes crinkling at the edges. I returned it, taking my seat next to Itachi.
"Your father is running late at the police headquarters." Mother explained, taking it upon herself to dish out my meal for me, pushing the overloaded bowl across to me as Itachi dished out his own dinner.
Immediately, I felt like such a child next to him. Pushing the thought away, I picked up my chopsticks.
"Itadakimasu." I murmured, hearing my brother and parent repeat as we all began to eat.
I was only a few bites into my meal when the front door slid open and my father entered the room. His eyes were narrowed and annoyed, his mouth a tight line, downturned at the corners.
"It is nice to see that you waited for my arrival." He deadpanned, sitting down and grabbing his chopsticks with a little more force than necessary.
"I apologise, Fugaku." I watched, with a hint of pity that was overridden by a sense of anger, as my mother's gaze fell to the floor, submissive and afraid. Her voice was quiet but it crawled under my skin. "We should have waited."
"Yes, you should have." My father grunted, satisfied with the response his grumpy mood had created.
As he dug into his meal, his eyes snapped from my subdued mother to my quiet, stoic older brother. Itachi sat up a little straighter at the look, meeting Fugaku's stare evenly.
"Have you been training, Itachi?"
"Of course." Itachi said curtly, noticeably more tense since the number of people at the table had increased.
Eyes narrowing slightly at the short response, my father paused in his eating to fire another question at Itachi.
"How many hours today, then?"
His own eyes hardening at the incriminating undertone of the question, Itachi lay down his chopsticks gently, although his bowl was nowhere near empty. Shifting uncomfortably in my seat, I watched the exchange silently. There was an unmistakable tension in the room and although it had always existed between Itachi and our father, it seemed to crackle loudly around us at this point.
"Two or three." Itachi replied, looking directly at our father, who bristled at the answer
"Two or three- that's not nearly enough! You should be doing double that if you ever want to improve!"
Fugaku slammed his fist down on the table, making the plates and bowls jump against each other. My mother's hands darted out to steady them, her eyes wide.
Anger noticeably rising, my father lashed out his hand, effectively knocking his glass of water to the floor.
"You're an Uchiha! What the hell have you been doing all day?"
When he received no reply from Itachi, he banged his hands on the table furiously before turning burning eyes to me. I shrunk back, pushing my bowl away from me as I flinched under the heavy, accusing stare.
"I bet you've been fucking around with Sasuke again!"
I stared blankly at the floor, stinging from the accusation. I hated the idea of being the source of conflict for our family. My eyes snapped up again when Itachi stood, calmly and slowly despite the situation, and headed for the door.
"I haven't been fucking around with anyone. Sasuke is my brother and I will spend as much time with him as I damn well want to."
Ignoring my father's inevitable angry protests, Itachi left the room and the meal continued in silence, though I was too sick to my stomach to be able to eat anything else. Not five minutes after Itachi left, I politely and quietly excused myself before darting after him.
His door was shut when I stood in front of it, but I knocked softly and waited for him to answer it. When he opened it, his face was blank and emotionless, but his eyes softened and the hint of a smile appeared on his lips when he realised it was me.
"Hey, Sasuke," his fingers curled over the doorframe as he leaned out of his room to speak to me. "Are you okay?"
Surprised at his show of concern, I quickly nodded.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I actually came here to ask you the same question. Dad was… being a twat to you at dinner."
The smile disappeared from Itachi's face.
"Yes," he agreed stiffly. "Fugaku does have a habit of doing that, but I'm fine, thank you, little brother."
The way he referred to our parent by his name rather than his title did not go unnoticed by me but I knew it wasn't my place to question Itachi on it, so I didn't. Instead, I hesitated for only a moment before taking a small step into the room and wrapping my arms around Itachi's waist, burying my face in his chest.
"I hate him when he speaks to you like that." I mumbled into the fabric of his shirt, feeling his hand lay flat against my back gently as he returned the hug.
"I know," he murmured, squeezing me a bit tighter before releasing me completely. Looking down into my eyes, he poked my forehead lightly. "And I hate it when he speaks about you that way."
Flattered by his protectiveness towards me, I nodded in agreement.
"He makes me feel like it's my fault." I confessed, searching Itachi's face for a giveaway to how he felt about this.
After a few moments of silence, he stood up straight and shook his head slightly.
"No, Sasuke. Don't ever think that – it's not your fault." Giving my shoulder a light squeeze, he looked at me seriously. "It's never your fault."
With that, he closed his door and I stood there numbly, mind reeling.
Though I trusted Itachi more than anyone, it was hard for me to accept his words.
All I could really do was wait and hope for this family to sort itself out, and even if it didn't; I could only hope to still have my older brother by my side through everything.
Still... my head was spinning and it made the memories of the almost-kiss replay over and over in my head until I wasn't sure about anything anymore. If the family split up, would Itachi even still be my brother anymore? Or would I have ruined everything?
As painful as it was, the only answer I could give myself was 'Maybe'.
You know I love you, right? (: