Sensual Beak
"UGH!" Grunted Harvey Bullock as he smashed his fist into a perp's mouth. "How dare you disrespect my ass!"
The perp screamed and tried to get away, but Harvey knocked him down with a trash can. The perp was out cold. Harvey whipped out his dick and pissed on the perp.
Jim Gordon watched Harvey's stubby, hairy dick sway in the breeze. It looked like a big furry turnip. He felt his own huge cock strain against his trousers. He knew where he was going tonight.
He'd kicked Barbara to the curb weeks ago. She was boring, and had an aversion to wearing trousers. "BABS, PUT ON YA PANTS," he'd constantly yell at her, but she would just keep sighing and lounging around in her stanky fish undies. So he told her to MOVE OUT. He didn't want fish. Or Fish. Or ANY WOMAN.
He knew what he wanted. And he knew he was gonna get it.
"Come on Jim, let's get back to the station!"
[BREAK]
Back at the station, Jim found Selina Kyle waiting for him. He told her to leave, and bent down and farted at her. Then he got a call from Shoutfred, because stupid emo Batman kid was up to some whiny horseshit. He went over to Wayne Manor and tied Shoutfred to a wheelie chair, and then shoved him down the stairs. As emo Batman embryo started crying, Jim laughed and sat on his face and did another huge wet fart. Bruce Wayne suffocated to death, and Jim celebrated by eating six hot dogs from their fridge. He stole their butter.
Back at the station, Harvey had demanded that everyone leave, making up a lie about Mayor James being stuffed in a garbage bag that was thrown down a drain. Everyone except Edward Nygma.
"You have to stay here, because we're going to buttfuck ya!" Harvey declared.
"Yeah!" Chimed in Jim, stuffing his hand into the greasy butter tub. "Prepare yourself for the ANAL SEX."
Edward squealed – EEEP – and tried to run, but Jim tackled him and bit him. As Jim held his arms, Harvey took off Riddler's pants and underpoonts. He had a white floppy dick and a tiny pink flexing asshole.
"I LOVE THIS GAME!" Roared Harvey, as he lubed up his bloated and bristly cock.
"Question – what's tight and delicious and rhymes with 'pink pole'?"
Edward knew the answer to Jim's question, but kept on squealing.
"STINK HOLE!" Harvey answered instead, as Jim stuffed his whole fist up Nygma's chute as if he was stuffing a naughty skinny turkey. Edward's legs kicked in the air frantically.
"Yeah, yeah, that's the Butt Stuffed Boogie!" Said Harvey, shooshing Edward's screams by squatting on his face. Edward's mouth was filled by huge orange balls that looked like coconuts and smelled like a dense jungle of sweat.
Jim and Harvey poked their penises into Eddie's every hole, and by the end of it even Edward was hooting with joy.
"That's the power of dick," Harvey said solemnly, as he skeee-wurted a big glob of cum onto Edward's glasses.
"Damn right," Jim said right back, as he shot a load over Edward's chicken-skin titties.
Edward fell back and made a cum angel with the flood of wad on the floor.
[BREAK]
"Whaddaya say, partner? How about we find a bar somewhere, listen to some Bon Jovi, have a few beers, and then lovingly finger each other in the gents?"
'Sorry, Harve. You know who I go home to now."
Harvey sighed and shrugged. "Yeah, well, I figured it wouldn't be how it used to be. But it was worth a shot. I hope he makes you happy."
"He does."
Jim and Harvey hugged goodbye, as the officers started filing back into the police station, ready to find Edward stuck to the floor, trapped in a web of goopy spunk.
[BREAK]
Jim came home, and had a shower. He then did some capoeira in his room, marveling at how his golden muscled body flipped around.
"You look like a million dollars' worth of liquid sex," Oswald purred, standing in the doorway. He was wearing nothing but an apron that said, "CAN'T SPELL GOTHAM WITHOUT 'HOT'".
"And you look like a naughty and trashy little cook crook who loves the cock," Jim growled, grabbing Oswald and pulling him into a kiss as steamy as a pork bun in a Chinese dumpling café. Jim reached beneath the apron and began to jerk Oswald's meat. He was on a mission to pop Cobblepot's cock.
Oswald rubbed up against him, his tingling pale body contrasted with Jim's hard and sculpted abs. Oswald pulled away before he could cream on Jim's thighs, and Jim bent over, his quivering and clean booty at the ready.
Oswald got on his knees, and dipped his SENSUAL BEAK into Jim's ass. Jim quivered as Oswald's nose sniffed his spicy musk in deep.
"I CAN'T STAND THE HEAT!" Screamed Jim, as he shoved Oswald backwards, hoisted his legs up, and started pounding his pecker into the Penguin. "DON'T LOOK AT ME!" He screamed at Oswald, before busting his chops. Oswald closed his eyes and let himself get pummeled by Gotham's top cop.
"THE HEEEEEEAAAATT!"
Jim reamed, then he creamed. Milky peen pudding splashed everywhere, and Oswald's butt was so stuffed with cum it looked like a whoopee pie.
"That was so beautiful, Jim," Oswald sighed, a little tear running down his cheek.
"I aim to please," smiled Jim, giving Oswald's stinky beak a tweak.