Foreword,

If any of you remember me, you'll know that I had this ridiculously long fic called Shortcomings Manifest. However, since I got a job I don't have the time to devote myself to a ten-thousand word a chapter goal anymore, plus I can't read it on my breaks. Ergo, for my own selfish reasons I have decided to make the chapters more... bitesize.

I'm sure you really don't care, so I'll just get to the nitty gritty. This is the beginning of SM, as well as the beginning of my rewrite. If you haven't read SM I'd rather you didn't, because there'll be actual surprises if you don't. If you have, well it'll be fun to see where that monster came from, eh? If you could, try not to spoil too much for the readers that take my advice and steer clear of the old fic.

With that said, let us begin.

They started with good intentions. Honest.

"Patchouli, can you spare a moment?"

The pale magician in question glanced over her book, spotting the mistress of the Scarlet Devil Mansion herself. Silently she closed her novel, giving the vampire her undivided attention. "For you, of course. What is on your mind, Remilia?"

The Scarlet Devil shifted in her stance, clearly vexed by something. "It's Flandre," she said. "I've been growing more and more worried. She's been shunning us."

"I believe she's finally embraced her isolation," Patchouli answered. "Perhaps if you acted sooner things would be different."

"She needs company," Remilia said, taking a seat at Patchouli's desk, "however I am hard-pressed to find someone she can't kill."

Patchouli hummed as she drew circles on her desk with a finger, "you mean those boytoys you keep kidnapping? I told you she'd mistreat them." With a casual wave of her hand the book the magician had once been reading lifted off and drifted out of sight, replaced by another, far thicker tome. "What do you suggest I do then? It's not like I can just make something that can't... just... make something... hmm..."

The corners of Remilia's lips twitched in amusement as she reclined in her seat. "I take it that's not the case?"

Patchouli found her thin lips twisting into a small smile. "On second thought, perhaps I can make something, and I know just who to ask to make this a reality."

"You're speaking of the Romanian, yes?" Remilia asked.

Patchouli dipped her head in affirmation. "The very same. I think one of her little dolls would be the perfect companion for dear Flandre."

"I'll send Sakuya for her."

Patchouli held up a hand. "I don't think sending Sakuya is a good idea, plus she's better use here anyway. All the other maids don't have the collective brainpower to complete more than one menial task at a time. I'd much rather just barter with-"

Just then Koakuma arrived on the scene, carrying a tea set on a tray. "Her highness' tea," she said, presenting the tray to Patchouli.

The magician sighed, her brow furrowing as soon as she registered the voice. "Stop calling me that, you accursed familiar." Regardless of her distaste, she took a cup, "now where was I?" she asked before taking a generous sip of tea.

"I believe you were going to tell Remilia about your expected guest?" Koakuma offered.

"Ah yes, I- wait how did you know that?"

The redheaded devil snickered cheekily. "Oh no particular tells, just that you've been preparing all day like a housewife awaiting her beloved husband."

Remilia couldn't help a snicker as Patchouli chased off the positively giddy Koakuma. The vampire helped herself to a cup of tea as the two bolted overhead, Koakuma still taunting the pale magician to no end. After a few choice incineration spells the devil disappeared, allowing the already exhausted Patchouli to return to Remilia. "I'll just... I'll just have Marisa do it," she huffed, collapsing in her seat.

"And here I thought you were enemies," Remilia said with a cheeky expression on her face. "You two regularly call in favors?"

The pale magician sighed, reclining in her seat. "I'd rather not delve into the mechanics, Remilia. Bottom line: I'll take care of everything."

The Scarlet Devil floated out of her seat. "I'll hold you to that, Patchouli. Let me know how things go." With that said she drifted off to other parts of the mansion, leaving Patchouli to collect her thoughts.

"Forging an undying minion... the applications are endless. I look forward to seeing the avenues that open up to me."

=][=

"Hello? Patchy?" an innocent voice filled the library halls. "It's Marisa! I came to make a withdrawal!" No response from Patchouli, and it seemed the library was empty. Slowly the magician drifted through the rafter window on her broom. "Are you seriously not here? I'll just steal everything if you aren't!"

Still nothing.

Marisa sighed, gliding down to the floor before hopping off of her broom. "Well this is no fun..." Almost halfheartedly she began to sift through the myriad of tomes that filled the bookshelves. "I was hoping for another tussle..."

On cue a glyph buried under Marisa's feet burned with a white-hot intensity. At the sight a manic grin found its way on the magician's face. "That's more like it!" Sparks shot from the glyph as it burned brighter and brighter. Marisa summoned her broom and took off, the glyph exploding behind her in a show of smoke and ember. "Where are you Patchouli?!" Marisa called, drawing a spellcard from her pocket. "Now I know you're in here!"

From the darkness shot forth several crystal shards. Marisa easily shot each of them down with a well-placed volley. "It's no fun this way, Patchy! Come out and fight like a woman!"

Patchouli conjured an ember to float at her side, illuminating the darkness and exposing her position to Marisa. "I'll indulge you for now, little witch. However once you have your fun I want to talk."

"About what?"

"You'll know when it comes up," the pale magician retorted, waving a hand in front of herself and leaving a trail of glittering stars. "In the meantime there's a couple new spells I need to field-test." Patchouli swung her hand through the stars, causing them to hurl forward with great speed.

Marisa barely had time to react, diving to the side just before the stars made contact. She felt one nick her shoulder, ripping through her clothes and tearing her skin easily. She let out a cry, clutching her weeping shoulder. "What the hell, Patchy?!"

"Like I said, I invented a spell or two. Your arrival was most timely," Patchouli answered serenely. "Now then, let's see what happens when I do this." With another wave of her hand another series of stars reformed. She set her hand in the midst of the glittering shards, balling it into a fist. In response to this the lights collected, transforming into a rhomboid crystal. "I look forward to seeing the results of physical contact," she said, letting the shard hurl forth.

Thinking it was like the other crystal spell, Marisa tried shooting it down with some danmaku fire. The thing just soaked it up, practically ate the bullets. Marisa shifted to the side, letting the shard rip past her. "Maybe you should make these things home in or something!"

Patchouli smirked, gesturing for Marisa to turn around with her index finger.

Marisa obliged, just as the crystal nailed her in the back and threw her off of her broom. "No fair!" she cried.

"Tell that to Hakurei!" Patchouli shouted in retort, which was followed up by a quick cough. "Ugh... I'm not used to shouting."

Back down below Marisa slapped against the ground with a grunt. She rolled on her back, and spotted that stupid rock bearing down on her. "Oh come on!" She rolled aside, the thing impaling the spot she was once lied, she shot daggers at the pale magician above. "You trying to kill me, Patchouli?!"

Patchouli couldn't contain herself. "Three, two, one..."

The crystal promptly exploded, throwing Marisa into a nearby bookshelf. Marisa bounced off the shelf and slapped against the hardwood floors with a powerful thud. "I'm not impressed!" she shouted indignantly as she struggled to her feet, "I bet I can do that too!"

The pale magician rolled her eyes as she glided down to Marisa's side. "So, can you spare a-"

"Master Spark!"

Patchouli was swiftly swallowed in a beam of light. She was lifted off her feet, pushed skyward by the attack, and prudently smashed against the ceiling. Marisa let the relatively weak Master Spark die out before any real damage was made, allowing Patchouli to drop to the floor with a loud thud.

The pale magician sat for quite some time, breathing softly. Eventually she had enough, letting out a grunt she slowly drug herself to her feet, staring blankly at Marisa. "I'll admit I may have deserved that."

Marisa replied with a rude gesture.

"Now then, on to more pressing concerns," Patchouli began jarringly, collecting herself in an instant. "I have a favor to ask of you, concerning knowledge I don't have." The pale magician conjured a table and some chairs, taking a seat in one and gesturing for Marisa to join her.

Hesitantly the girl complied, still waiting for another crystal spell. "That's it?" she asked. "You nearly impale me on an exploding spike, and the next thing I know we're being civil?"

"Like I said: more pressing concerns," Patchouli answered simply. "You are acquainted with an Alice Margatroid?"

"Yyyeah...?" Marisa drawled. "How does that concern you?"

Patchouli reclined in her seat. "I require her skills in the art of manufacturing dolls."

The young magician leaned forward. "For what, exactly?"

"I'll be willing to tell you more if you grant me an audience with her," Patchouli answered cheekily, "if you want some insight into what I have in store for the future, then you'll have to hasten its reality."

Marisa stroked her chin in quiet contemplation, "can you sweeten the deal by any chance?" she asked, "I don't just make leaps without compensation."

"Fair enough, what exactly can I do to make you more willing?" Patchouli asked.

Marisa already knew the answer. "That spell, the exploding crystal, that meteor shower spell, I want them," a brief pause, "as a down payment."

"Tell you what. I'll give you my notes on one now, and you'll get the other-plus the insight into what I'm doing-when you bring Alice here." Patchouli spat in her palm and held out her hand. "Deal?"

Marisa reeled for only a second before parroting the gesture. "Deal."

To think it all began thanks to a slimy handshake.

Short, I know, but this is actually the shortest chapter I've written for the story. Yeah believe it or not I've got chapters written up in advance. Fancy that.

Feel free to speak any concerns or the like in your reviews, or even PM me. I'm a nice guy, I promise. I'm going to try to respond to every one I get so that'll be fun.

Until the next chapter, friends and readers. Have a great day.