I had realized just the day before that I could hardly be in love with her if I had only met her in the seemingly short instance that our paths collided. But as strange as it seemed to everybody, including myself, I was in love with the beautiful, smart girl that I had met near the slippery slope. I was determined, after finding my sister and brother, to find her and tell her all that I felt, but as soon as I caught up with my siblings, I found that my brother, Duncan, the brother that I had missed for so long, also infatuated with her.
I convinced myself that I could love no other person more than I loved Violet. I convinced myself that she could hardly love anybody else than me. It was egotistical just to think that I had that amount of control over her life, even though all the words that I told myself were probably lies that I created to comfort myself when I desperately needed the comfort that I had been missing for so long. I diluted myself into thinking that she could hardly live without me in her life, that she couldn't function without me there by her side.
I was naive and idiotic to think that I had that kind of sway over her emotions, but perhaps it was best for me to believe that no matter what happened, I would always find love in a person. Perhaps it is good that I believed those stupid words so much that I never allowed my love for her to vanish into the sea like so many emotions do.
Driven by my love that I had recently discovered, I never lost hope that I would someday find the Baudelaires, though I just happened to find them much sooner than I had originally expected. After Kit Snicket abandoned us, leaving behind only the lousy books that were of absolutely no interest to anybody, I simply shrugged it off, thinking that I would see her again in the near future, having no idea that it would be the last time I would ever see her. I loved Kit as you would love a sister, but I always thought that she would manage to survive anything that the world threw in her way. She was a magnificent woman who I am very honored to have known her.
After Kit's departure (I hate to call it an abandonment), the question mark submarine came upon us. My siblings were very frightened that there would be nefarious people aboard such an oddly shaped submarine. We were soon engulfed by the enormous submarine and without a choice of what else to do, we climbed aboard the submarine everyone thought would be filled to the brim with evil people. But thankfully, that was not the case.
It turns out that several volunteers had it in their heads to come help us, having heard of our former problem with eagles. They came disguised as nefarious people to ward off both other nefarious people and the noble people, although I did not see the point in doing so. They provided us with much-needed food and dry clothes, kindness that I hope to return one day to them if they are ever in need of help.
I do not wish to offer to the world their names, as they asked me and my companions never to say the exact names of who helped us that day. In accordance with their wishes, which I do not happen to agree with, I have purposely excluded their names, in hopes that they will see it as an act of kindness by myself. When I told them of my intentions of going to find the Baudelaires, they offered me a boat, which was small but would hold together.
As I prepared to depart from the submarine and from the people who had been so kind and noble, Isadora and Duncan both approached me with their intentions of coming with me to search for the friends they had not seen in quite some time. I was cautious about allowing them to join me, but I gave in because I realized that I wasn't the only one who loved the Baudelaires.
We set out without a shred of knowledge to where we were going. We simply began rowing in one direction for as long as we could without feeling the continuous strain on our muscles. For the most part, the wind simply pushed us along.
Being out there on the sea with no idea which way to go opened my eyes somewhat. I realized things out there about my life and the lives of everybody around me. I kept all my revelations from my siblings, although now I see how wrong I was to do that to them.
My hopes were starting to dwindle down, just as all hopes do. I longed to be on land, and I longed to begin the search for them. As time started to slowly pass, my hopes diminished even farther, until I lost hope that we would ever return to the land. My love for Violet did not push me on as it did in the beginning; it served as a constant reminder that I had lost this battle, lost the battle that was as vital as life itself.
Drawing myself away from the love I felt for Violet, I clung to my siblings as I had never done before. Somehow, after being independent for so long, I found myself retreating from my post to where I felt the most safe, drawing myself to the most motherly love I could find. I quit being the Quigley that most people know me to be and became this thing that seemed to suck love out of people without their consent. For those few agonizing days when I truly wasn't myself inside, I can not believe that my brother and sister even bothered to put up with me.
I was losing hope in everything, in the fact that nobleness would always prevail over the wicked, in things that I could not help to question. And as many people are when they begin to lose hope, I was bland in everything I said; I sounded stupid constantly, and worst of all, I believe, was the fact that I was boring in everything I did.
One morning, when the sun was shining unusually bright, when I had buried my face in my arms, I heard Duncan exclaim that there was something coming toward us. Surprised, I lifted my head and asked if it was land. No was the answer. I laid my head back into my arms and drifted into a nap of some sort. A few minutes later, I was awaken by my sister screaming, "IT'S THE BAUDELAIRES! OH MY GOD! BAUDELAIRES, OVER HERE!"
At these words, I raised my head and peered out at the approaching boat. Indeed it was the Baudelaires, but in Violet's arms I could see a child. My blood ran cold, and, forgetting that I had seen her just a short time ago, though it did seem like ages had pasted, I was wildly jealous of the child's father.
Violet, Klaus, Sunny, and the small baby climbed onto our boat as soon as they were close enough to do so. This part of this story I remember as though it were only yesterday.
"Hello, Quagmires!" Violet said cheerfully, passing the baby onto Klaus as to hug Duncan and Isadora, seeming not to see me yet. "Quigley!" Her smile was a perfect one, stretching as far as it would go. She rushed over to hug me, but it was an awkward hug, me being still concerned about the baby.
"This is Beatrice," Klaus said, introducing the baby. "It's Kit Snicket's little daughter." At those words, my heart seemed to burst with excitement. The baby was small but amazingly adorable as well, her smile grazing the hearts of us all.
"Violet," I said, pulling her away from the others, breathing in and out as to work up my nerve. "Violet... uh... I love... you." Her eyes grew wide in reaction to my words, and she paused for what seemed like an eternity.
"Quigley, I love you, too," she said in the sweetest voice I had ever heard. And then she kissed me.