Haha! Bet you didn't expect to see me back so soon, but you can all thank heavenlygothicgirl for the idea!
And yes it's based off that Katy Perry song...
Link rolled over on his side with a yawn. Holy crap I'm so tired, and why does my head hurt so damn bad?
He opened his eyes and looked around, then quickly closed them again. Okay, so it's very bright, and I'm not in my room, I'm also naked and...
Link poked Kai who was passed out beside him. "Kai, why are you covered in sparkles?"
Kai let out an abrupt snore and turned around to face Link, his eyes were squinted closed. "Don't ask me babe, I can't even see properly... my fucking head hurts..."
"And I smell like I went to the bar and lived there for a few years..." Link sniffed himself, his nose scrunched up in disgust.
Kai dared to open his eyes for a few seconds to take a quick look around. "Wow... there are sparkles everywhere..." He poked his arm that was covered with the sparkle pieces.
Link also opened his eyes a bit, snorting at the ridicules sight. "Yeah, and you also have a shit load of hickey's all over you." Link pointed at the love bites that where everywhere on Kai's neck and leading down in a nice little trail to his stomach.
Kai shrugged. "I guess we had fun then, not that I can remember... Damn liquor." Then he looked at Link and laughed.
"What?" Link looked at himself, wondering what the hell was so funny.
"You also have a nice hickey yourself hero." Kai pointed in between Link's legs and giggled.
Link looked in confusion, and sure enough, right on his inner thigh was a huge love bite. His face lit up like a Christmas light.
Link tried to ignore him and got off the bed, he started searching the room for any signs of his clothes. What did I do? Walk around naked? Finding no clothes, Link sighed and grabbed a towel out of the bathroom.
Kai stretched and yawned. Man, last night must have wild, I can't remember damn thing... He walked over to the window and pulled back the curtains.
"Whoa..."
"What's up?" Link now fully toweled, walked up behind Kai and peered out the window.
There had obviously been a big ass party the night before, people were passed out all over the place, and there was even someone floating rather lifelessly in the pool.
Kai turned and looked at Link with a slightly scared expression. "Let's get the fuck out of here before the cops show up."
"I wish you two would be quiet... truthfully."
"GAH!" Kai jumped into Link's arms.
A guy that looked shockingly like Link, except for his green eyes, untangled himself from the bed covers and stumbled over to them.
"It's too bright for these things to be opened." The guy grabbed the curtains and closed them.
"Ummm." Link gave the guy a confused look. "Who are you again?"
The guy returned the look. "Umm... Zeon? The guy you kidnapped last night for a threesome?"
Kai untangled himself from Link's arms and pouted. "Damn it... Why can't I not fucking remember anything?"
Link grabbed the nearest sheet off his bed and threw it over Kai. "No more questions, lets get the hell out of here!" He dragged his shadow out before he or Zeon could say another word.
"Bye then." Zeon waved them off and then looked around them room. "Where the bloody hell are my clothes?"
Link searched the parking lot for their car, but it seemed to be no where in sight. "How did we get here?"
Kai snickered. "We probably walked here naked..."
"Don't say that."
"Well I already did sweetheart, now we need a car right?" Kai walked over to the nearest car and opened the door.
"Kai, we can't steal a car."
Kai disappeared from sight under the dash board, the car roared to life and Kai popped back up with a sexy smirk. "I think I just did."
Link shook his head and motioned for him to get out.
"Hey you two, you forgot your cell." Zeon (now fully dressed) jogged up to them and handed Link his cell.
"It was the only thing you were... wearing..." Zeon blushed and walked away before his brain exploded.
"Dear goddesses I really don't want to know what happened last night." Link got into the drivers seat.
Kai was already in the passengers seat with his seatbelt on and his hand firmly grasping the holy shit handle.
Link handed him the phone just as it started ringing.
"Hello?"
"Shadow...?"
"Oh hey emo, what up?" Kai yelped as Link backed out of the parking lot a bit too quickly.
"Could you please explain to me why there are numerous pictures of you and sexy do very weird things on my cell...?"
Kai raised an eyebrow. "Things like what?"
There was a long sigh on the other line. "I'm not going to bother explaining it to you, go check your phone memory if you really want to know..."
There was a click and the line went dead.
"Interesting..." Kai searched through the phones menu until he came to the picture folder, when he opened it he burst out laughing.
"It's bad, isn't it?" Link cringed, not really wanting to know, but he still did.
Kai nodded, memories of last night finally returning.
"So hero, our son is going out with his pretty boyfriend tonight, so that leaves us with either a wild night of passionate sex, or going out to do something ourselves."
Link looked up from his book to smile at the shadow standing in front of him. "And if I want both?" He put the book down on the couch beside him and pulled Kai on his lap.
"Well if you're up to it, I don't really care, as long as we're both naked by the end of it."
"Well I heard that new karaoke dance club just opened up down town... that sound any good?" Link twirled a strand of Kai's silver hair around his finger.
"Sounds bitchin! Let's go!"
Link smiled and shook his head. "Alright then, get in the car."
Kai turned into his shadow form and disappeared.
Link rolled is eyes and grabbed the car keys off the hook. "Damn I wish I could do that."
They walked into the new club and were not surprised to see it packed with people.
Link whistled, a sound that could barely be heard over the loud music. "This place really is bitchin." He pulled Kai over to a free table and sat him down.
"Man, I can't wait to get drunk! We never go out drinking often enough!" Kai had to yell at Link for him to hear him.
"That's because bad things happen when we drink!" Link signaled the waitress over and ordered their drinks.
She soon returned with a couple of beers. "Here you go boys, just call me over if you need anything else."
"Is it just me, or did the way she said 'anything else' sound suggestive?" Kai sniffed at his beer before taking a small gulp.
"Kai, as much as you would like to believe, not everyone wants to get in your pants." Link didn't waste that much time downing his beer.
Well dear hero, at least you want to get in my pants. Kai chuckled at Link when his back was turned to him. Now time to initiate plan "Get hero shit-faced"
He used his shadow powers and grabbed a couple of shots off the counter and poured them into Link's beer before he turned around.
Link was actually enjoying himself, humans were always so fun to watch when they were drunk. He turned back to look at Kai who was grinning at him. A grinning Kai is not good... I wonder whats up? He took another gulp of his beer and tried not to spit it out.
"Ew! What the hell did you do to my drink?" Link shook the offending bottle.
"I'm trying to get you drunk hero, you always act crazy and it makes me laugh." Kai brought them over two more shots and passed one to Link. "I challenge you hero."
Link looked at the alcohol. "Fine, you're on." He downed it in one gulp and motion for Kai to go.
Kai laughed and followed the hero. I do say that was easier than I thought it would be... men..
Kai kept the supply of shots going, and him and Link kept drinking them. Link was soon gone, since he was a total lightweight, and since Kai had demon blood in him, it took more to get him drunk.
"Well whatever Kai..." Link shook his head as another dizzy spell hit him. "I bet I could still beat you at..." He looked around and finally spotted the unused karaoke stage. "Yeah! I could beat you at singing!"
Link got up and stumbled over to the stage, Kai not far behind him, laughing at what was about to happen. This calls for many pictures... He pulled out their cell and prepared to create a whole photo album.
Link was up on the stage, trying to figure out how to turn on the microphone.
The waitress from before decided to take pity on him and helped him turn everything on. "Does it matter what song you sing?"
Link shook his head. "I'm so damn good, I can sing anything you throw at me!"
A bunch of people at the club stopped to watch the sexy guy on stage make a drunken fool of himself.
Kai sat in the front row and waved at his hero.
The first song blared on the speakers loudly and Link literally jumped for joy. "This is one of Shiwi's favorite songs!" He swayed his hips to the music and almost fell over.
Kai was taking pictures, his eyes filled with tears of laughter.
"I'm going out tonight! I'm feeling all right! Gonna let it all hang oooooOOoooou!"
Link wasn't a bad singer, but he was a pretty bad dancer, not to mention he could barely stand up on his own. He dance around the stage, singing and giggling like a girl on her first date.
"Oh! Here comes my favorite part! MAN! FEEL LIKE A WOMAN! BWA HAHAHA!"
He jumped on the nearest table top and started dancing like a maniac.
Kai quickly took some pictures, trying to keep the phone as steady as he could. That's it! I'm sending these to the emo!
The crowd cheered as Link continued his dance (if it could be called a dance) and they laughed even harder when he fell off the table.
Link, not seeming bothered by the fact that he just fell hard on his ass, picked himself up and bowed to the crowd.
Kai clapped along with everyone and tried not to die laughing.
Link swayed over to him and grabbed his arm, pulling him on his feet. "Come on! You gotta dance with me!"
Kai hooked the phone onto his necklace and jumped up on the table with Link. The danced to the rest of the song, every once in a while Link would sing out a lyric, but for the most part they were laughing too hard to do anything.
And then Kai's foot got tangled with Link's and he fell off the table.
But instead of landing quite painfully on his head, he was surprised to find himself in someones arms.
"Well my pet, you sure look like you're having fun."
Kai looked up and yelped.
Ganondorf's amused face smiled down at him.
Link jumped off the table and snatched Kai out of the evil mans arms. "Mine!" He wrapped his arms possessively around Kai and glared.
"Well he's yours for now, but he will eventually come running back to me."
Kai face-palmed. "Oh shit..."
"Well he wont come back to you if I do this!" Link raised his right fist and ran towards Ganondorf, ready to knock his block off, but instead he missed his target and ended up running face first into Zelda's boobs.
Link looked up from his fleshy cage and smiled nervously. "Er... hey there Zelda..."
Zelda blushed and helped Link on his feet. "Nice to talk to you too Link."
They both turned around when they heard Ganondorf's growl.
"Now now hero, you're in my territory now, so you'd better watch it!" He grabbed Link by the arm and threw him into Kai.
Link didn't waste any time charging head first into Ganondorf's stomach, knocking them both off their feet.
The bouncers of the club quickly came over and separated the two men.
"Well princess, it was nice seeing you." Kai waved goodbye as he followed the bouncers were were carrying Link. They got to the front doors and Link was swiftly thrown out.
"I didn't like it in there anyway!" Link stood up and brushed himself off.
Kai hugged the poor hero and tried not to laugh once again.
"Come one Kai, we're going for a walk." Link started off in the direction of the park and Kai didn't waste any time following.
"Why was Zelda at a club anyway? Isn't she suppose to be all chubbed up with Ganondork's kid?" Kai asked Link who tripped over a sleeping homeless guy.
"Fucking kids these days!"
Link looked back at the guy. "You might want to talk to a professional about that."
The guy looked at him confused.
"Hey that sounds like something I would say." Kai glanced at Link who still seemed pretty damn drunk. Not that I'm any better... why does Link have two heads?
While he wasn't looking where he was going, he didn't notice the swing in front of him until it was too late. The swing swept him right off his feet, flipped him around and threw him on his face.
Link fell on his ass he was laughing so hard, and once Kai spit all the dirt out of his mouth, he laughed too.
"We are one fucked up couple, you know that hero?" Kai unclipped the still working phone from his necklace and took a picture of them crying tears of laughter.
The parks sprinklers suddenly went off and the two men stopped laughing to look at them.
"Hey Kai, we should totally streak through the sprinklers."
"Stop reading my damn mind hero."
Both men quickly rid themselves of their cloths and started running through the sprinklers, screaming like girls the entire time.
"Fuck that's cold!" Kai tried to cover himself as best as he could, but it really wasn't working.
Link looked over to his shadow and didn't noticed the spray of water that was coming his way.
"Ah! My ass! I just got raped by a sprinkler!"
They kept running and laughing (and also trying to not fall on their faces) until they reached the park fountain.
Kai canon-balled into the water and started swimming around in circles.
Link was less graceful, he just hit the ledge of the fountain and fell in making a huge splash.
"Face plant!" Kai high-fived the hero as he surfaced from the water.
"Wait Link look!" Kai dove under the water and quickly resurfaced.
"What? Did you find something dirty?"
Kai giggled. "Nope, no used condoms, but I did find this!" He held his hand in front of Link's face and showed him the shiny penny. "See! We're rich! We could buy a whole bunch of condoms with this!"
Link nodded in agreement.
"Put your hands up and get the fuck out of the fountain!"
Both men screamed and hugged each other.
"I said get out of the fountain!" The woman cop gestured for them to get, she didn't look like she was joking around.
They both stepped out with their hands up, looking like they had got caught with their hands in the cookie jar.
"My name is officer Kaichou and I'm putting you under arrest for being drunk and... naked in public."
She handcuffed them, trying her best not to blush, and led them both back to her car.
Kai whimpered and tried to turn and look at the officer. "Well to tell you the truth officer, we would have rather been drunk and naked in our bedroom, but one thing led to another..."
"You have to right to remain silent." She pushed them against the car and took out her notepad.
Kai shrugged. "But I don't have the ability..."
Kaichou glared at him, but quickly changed her mind (too much guy ass for her to handle) and turned around.
Kai turned into a shadow and freed himself from the handcuffs, then he quickly freed the hero from his.
They both bolted and were out of sight before the officer even noticed they were gone.
They continued running/laughing/stumbling/whatever the hell they were doing until they finally came to a hotel.
No one looked at them strangely seeing as there was already a party going on and half the people there were already naked.
They opened the front door and walked up to the counter. The guy behind it looked up at them in shook and embarrassment. "May I help you? Truthfully..."
Link leaned on the counter and gave the guy a seductive smile. "Yeah, you can come upstairs with us and help me fuck my man here." He gestured to Kai.
Kai grabbed the phone that was still clipped to his necklace and readied the camera. I can't believe the phone ain't dead... and I can't believe Link wants a threesome!
Zeon shook his head. "I bet you're both tired and want a room am I right?" He began looking through his computer for a room.
Link placed a hand over Zeon's. "No... we want you." He pulled the poor blushing Zeon along with him and started down the hall to find an empty room.
Zeon tried to grab onto something to stop himself from going with the crazy drunks, but all he managed to grasp was a bag of party sparkles, he shrugged and threw it at Link and the bag exploded into glittery goodness.
"Okay, who the fuck shot Edward Cullen?" Kai tried to wipe some of the sparkles out of his eyes.
Zeon sighed. "There's no way to make you stop this silly game is there?"
Link's smile answered his question.
"Bloody hell..."
"Oh, so that's where the glitter came from?" Link asked him, dodging a pedestrian on the road.
"I guess so... When I first saw all of it I thought I'd slept with a pixie."
Link smirked. "You mean Edward Cullen?"
They both chuckled.
The cell rang again and Kai answered it.
"Hello?"
"You two can stop making from of the sparkle-pire now... Although it was funny..."
"I thought so too."
"And also mother and father... you're not allowed to touch alcohol ever... again..."
Link blushed, already prepared to seal the memories away... well some memories... "I totally agree with you son."
A cop car drove past them and both men flinched when they recognized the officer driving.
It seems she recognized them as well, because she put on her alarm and spun around to chase them.
"Floor it hero! Go now!" Kai looked back to see Kaichou glaring at them through the windshield.
"Hurry! I'll throw a banana peel at her!"
"Kai this isn't Mario Cart!"
"Damn... well if we don't get arrested, same time next Friday?"
Shigen hung up.
"Well it's official... My parents are crazy..."
Ryuk rolled over and smacked his boyfriend lightly on the cheek. "And you're just realizing this now?"
Shigen smirked. "Perhaps... now time to post these pictures online..."
Haha, I enjoyed writing that
Until next time~