The medical books she was carrying thudded as they hit the ground.
He's back. Sai's words slowly sunk into her.
"Are you okay Sakura-san?" Sai inquired as he motioned forward to pick up the dropped books. Sakura hastily crouched down to scoop them up before he could do so. She turned to him and recomposed herself before throwing him a reassuring smile. A fake smile, Sai noted.
"Yes, I was just….shocked. I didn't expect to hear Sasuke-kun would be back after all these years," Sakura muttered as she shifted her gaze to her medical texts. Sai could tell that her mind was preoccupied with something as she stared vacantly at her books.
"Yes Hokage-sama didn't expect so too."
"Naruto…" Sakura corrected, "Sai, you know Naruto hates it when we address him as hokage."
"Ah…I am so used to paying respect to formalities when it comes to my authoritative superiors," Sai said as he rubbed his neck, "So far Naruto-san has ordered that only shinobi that were close to Sasuke-san be informed of his return. Sasuke-san has asked that his return remain low profile."
Sakura didn't blame him. Despite Sasuke saving the world, the civilians weren't able to firsthand see the valiance and strength Sasuke exhibited on the battlefield against Kaguya like the shinobi were able to. The civilians heard rumors, but hearing was so different than seeing. For the most part, Konoha civilians were ambivalent in their perception towards the former missing-nin, and his name was often still uttered with hints of disgust and betrayal.
"Thanks Sai. I'll visit Naruto after my hospital shift to see where Sasuke-kun is staying around in the village." Sakura turned her back on him so he could no longer read the mix of emotions that crossed her face. Sai nodded in the doorway before leaving and noted the hurt that lingered in her voice.
As Sakura made her way to the hospital's exit, she stopped by the room Sasuke had stayed in before he left Konoha to once again explore the world with new eyes. She reminisced her interactions with the dark haired boy that had taken place in the room
/Flashback/
A tug at the corner of her lips, a bittersweet smile. Knowing that everyone in Team 7 had made it out alive and were all back in the village, her eyes threatened to brim with unshed tears. She was relieved Sasuke couldn't see her eyes at the moment as she healed the deep wounds on his back.
Sasuke sat silently on his bed, still wrapped in bandages with his eyes shut closed.
"Tsunade-shishou was able to get the cells she cultivated from you to respond positively to Harishama's cells. This prevents your immunology response from rejecting the new arm because of any incompatibility," she informed him as she tried to break the awkward silence. Not an actual awkward silence though—the echoes of her heartfelt confession to him on the battlefield continued to hang in the air between them.
"Hn."
"Please sit on the edge of the bed so I can heal your front." Sasuke silently did so, and Sakura sucked in air as she stared at the face of the man she had fallen for. She gingerly moved her hand to hover over his left cheek. His handsome face was still marred with cuts and bruises from his fight with Naruto. Sakura held in a blush at the intimacy of cupping his face and her gaze averted to focus on the injury at hand. Sasuke's eyes, however, stared straight at her as she healed him. The minutes seemed to drag out slowly under his intense gaze before the bruises had completely disappeared under Sakura's touch.
Knowing that she was finished, Sakura shifted her eyes away from the area where the bruises once were to meet Sasuke's gaze. Reflected in his eyes, she could still see loneliness and loss, yet there was something different: they were no longer empty and filled with all-consuming hatred and darkness. Naruto had truly made him see the light by beating the hell out of him. As she thought about her two teammates—her boys—she thought about their struggles and the evil demons they had to overcome growing up. But they made it out alive, and they both had escaped being consumed by their dark pasts. They were a team again, and they were able to seal Kaguya through their combined effort. Thinking about it all made the corner of her lips tug into a subtle smile.
Entrenched in her thoughts about her teammates, Sakura didn't notice how her hand—the one used to heal Sasuke's face—had involuntarily moved down to gently grasp Sasuke's one hand. Sasuke's gaze followed the movement but said nothing.
She had lied to Sai about stopping by to see Naruto immediately afterwards. Sakura had no intentions of visiting Sasuke that day with her heart still heavy and her mind still disoriented with memories and emotions. She had stopped by Ino's apartment where her best friend brewed her tea.
"We both had feelings for him at one point. The difference is that I moved on from that silly crush while your feelings…matured into something more intense." Ino hesitated to use the actual word to describe her best friend's feelings towards Sasuke. A part of Ino wanted Sakura to move on like she did. She wanted her best friend to meet a guy who actually deserved her and would love her and appreciate the talented, intelligent, and beautiful girl for all that she was.
"I want to see him, yet I'm scared to. It's been so long. That day he left…he told me he'd come back, but as the days passed, I began to question his words. Heck, that bastard didn't even go to his best friend's wedding!" Sakura remembered the false hopes she clung on to the day of Naruto's wedding. Her teammate was a popular figure, and ever single villager and shinobi in the five nations knew about the hokage's wedding. Surely Sasuke would have heard. She remembered peering around the crowd of wedding attendees to see if maybe, just maybe, she would catch a glimpse of Sasuke's tousled hair, his distinguishable rinnegan, his dark figure.
"It's possible that he's completely changed for the better. Look at Sai! That boy never really knew emotions but now I can confidently say that he knows how to love. That boy is definitely made for loving. Last night…"
"Okay Ino. I have to go," Sakura interrupted as she gulped the remaining tea in her cup and stood up. She sensed that Ino was going to go into another one of her long rambles about Sai's 'best paintbrush' as Ino would proudly call it.
Ino blushed. "Yeah sorry. You know how I get carried away…Anyway, feel free to come by any time to talk. Don't let Sasuke-kun's return get to you!"
Sakura nodded in the doorway as she grimaced, knowing that his return already had.
Four days had passed since Sasuke's return, and Sakura had yet to see him. She told herself that she wasn't avoiding him but was earnestly preoccupied with her cluttered schedule. No longer could she be the same childish twelve year old girl whose life priorities revolved around Sasuke. The demand of the hospital would require her to inconveniently make special time out of her day to find Sasuke. She wasn't avoiding him, she told herself; she just lacked the initiative to find him.
"You're avoiding him Sakura-chan"
Sakura scowled and she glared pointedly at her teammate sitting besides her. The two were eating lunch at Ichiraku's. Sakura wondered whether Naruto would ever use his generous hokage's salary to try classier restaurants or whether he had some long-term debt to pay to Ichiraku's owner.
"Naruto, I already told you that I've just been too busy to make the time to see him. Besides, I'm his teammate too. If he wanted to see me, he could have just sought me out by now. I don't have to be the one to take initiative to see him," Sakura huffed, crossing her arms.
"Sakumrph-,"Naruto gulped down the wad of noodles in his mouth, "Sakura-chan, you know the bastard and how he is. He's not someone who reaches out to people, but it'll help him if you reach out to him."
Naruto glanced up as he remembered their last fight at the Valley of the End. "Only after I pummeled the crap out of him did the bastard realize that he didn't have to go through life alone. He and I are brothers, and I know what he's gone through. I can tell you he's changed since then!" Sakura stared blankly at her untouched bowl of ramen steaming in front of her. He may have changed in his life's outlook, but she could never imagine Sasuke changing the impassive, aloof personality she's always known him to have.
Naruto noticed his teammate's downcast look, and shifted to a serious tone foreign to his normally playful persona, "Sasuke's been through a lot, and that's why he is who is he. That doesn't justify how shitty he's treated you though."
You don't deserve to be treated like that by any guy—love him or not. It was a remark that Sakura has heard so many times from Ino before. However, Sakura's strong emotions for her teammate and her insight into Sasuke's dark past had allowed her to overlook his hurtful words and actions. As the years passed and she grew older and more mature, she would begin to agree more and more with the statement.
Thank you. Sakura couldn't help but return to the place that haunted her dreams after her hospital shift. Sakura stood at the path where Sasuke had uttered those words before betraying the village. The words were uttered twice—once while betraying the village and again as he left Konoha to see the world. Regardless, both times it ended with Sakura staring at Sasuke's retrieving back. How she had always hated watching her teammate's backs.
Sakura moved to sit on the bench Sasuke had left her on. Back in the day, Sakura would sometimes catch herself wondering about whether or not he had carried her bridal style to the bench. She had to end up on the bench somehow, right? Knowing how unaffectionate the rogue ninja is, she wouldn't be surprised if Sasuke just slung her over his shoulder after her heart wrenching love confession and carelessly dumped her on that bench.
Sakura shook her head in irritation at those romantic fantasies she would think about as an immature twelve year old girl who knew nothing about love. Back then, her feelings for Sasuke spawned from his "cool" personality, good looks, and the hype of other fangirls in the academy. Only after seeing him when he was shrouded by darkness did she recognize that her feelings for him had matured. She had liked him as the popular schoolboy who was wanted by all the girls. Ironically, she had loved him—or at least, was mature enough to know she did—when he was the missing nin who was wanted dead by all the kages.
Caught up in her musings, Sakura belatedly recognized the presence of another person's chakra signature nearby. Sakura jumped to her feet alert as her hand reached to grab a kunai.
In that brief flare of chakra, she knew the strength and sheer immensity of the chakra could not belong to any rookie ninja simply wandering through the area. She furrowed her brows and shook her head when she failed to catch onto the signature again. The chakra signature was both familiar and fleet, and she wondered if she had actually sensed a real chakra signature or if she was just reenacting Naruto's wedding day all over again—more wishful thinking and false hopes for a man who wasn't actually there.
Naruto may have understood Sasuke on a deeper level than anyone else, but sometimes the hokage was downright oblivious to the things that blatantly annoyed their former teammate. Sakura flinched when she had heard the messenger ninja inform her of a private shinobi celebration held for a "special someone" at a bar. She knew who that special someone was, and she knew that special someone's aloof and reserved personality would not appreciate this sort of celebration.
The hokage was definitely bating her to come out of the hospital where she had burrowed herself in these past few days. Though it may have slightly irked her with this sudden, last-minute event after a long day at work, she knew that Sasuke would be particularly irritated surrounded by boisterous festivities after years in quiet solitude. Approaching the entrance, Sakura could already smell the strong whiff of sake and hear the clank of shot glasses hitting the bar table as Lee's and Kiba's rowdy voices drowned out everyone else's.
"Sakurraaaa-chan!" Naruto's drunken voice drawled out as he flailed his arm in a wide wave and cheekily grinned at his teammate entering the bar. Only eight o'clock and Naruto's face was already flushed red. Hinata sat loyally at the hokage's side, pushing away any of the shot glasses he reached for and periodically pouring him more water.
Sakura eyes scanned the bar and couldn't find Sasuke anywhere in the vicinity. Obviously Sasuke would avoid loud festivities like this and only he would have the audacity to not show up at an event that the hokage hosted himself. Sakura sighed a breath of relief yet she felt her heart tug with disappointment.
"Sasuke-teme showed up for three minutes before having the courage to leave his own welcome back party!" Naruto pounded his fist on the bar table, breaking it in half.
"Naruto-kun you need to control yourself in public," Hinata murmured as she stooped down to help the bartender pick up the broken glass on the floor.
"Sakuraa!" Ino's tipsy voice shouted to her right. Sakura's head swerved to the source of the voice, and she headed over to her best friend to leave drunk Naruto to deal with the furious bar owner over the broken table.
"Ino how have you been?" Sakura asked as she took a seat adjacent to the blonde.
"Sasuke-kun was here but only for like a few minutes. Probably disappointed he didn't see you," Ino joked, winking. Sakura winced, knowing that Ino would normally be more sensitive broaching the subject of Sasuke considering Sakura's feelings towards him. Sakura waved Ino words off, knowing the alcohol was impairing her judgment.
Ino grinned as she signaled for more sake shots and passed one to Sakura. Sakura sighed and gave in to the blonde's request. She needed it anyway after the past week's emotional turmoil. After a few shots on Ino's insistence, Sakura felt a pink tint begin to heat her cheeks to match Ino's.
"Forget about the bastard Sakura. He's treated you like shit," Ino remarked as she swirled a glass in her hand. The blonde was definitely drunk by now.
"You don't deserve to be treated like that by any guy. Honestly Sakura, what have you ever done to him to deserve that treatment?" Ino sneered. Sakura began to feel dizzy as she pushed away her shot glass and clumsily stood up from her seat.
"Ino, I'm going to get some fresh air," Sakura announced before waddling towards the exit. She pushed aside a swaying intoxicated Kiba and stepped over Lee's passed out body as she made her way outside.
The crisp outdoor air helped Sakura's nausea from the stuffy bar scene. She took a big inhale and closed her eyes. The night was calm and quiet—everything she needed after the raucous events occurring indoors.
"Sakura."
Sakura's eyes flew open and she glanced up to the source of the voice. Back at the bench a few nights ago, she was unsure whether the presence she felt was a figment of her imagination. This time, she knew whom the voice belonged to, and she knew for sure that his presence was real.
"S-Sasuke-kun, what are you doing up there?" Sakura stuttered as she stared up. She could only make out the outline of her former teammate under the dim glow of the moon but his figure was always distinguishable to her. All the characterizing feature that she was searching for at Naruto's wedding finally in her line of sight—the tousled hair, his distinct rinnegan, his dark figure.
"It was too loud," Sasuke closed his eyes as he sat on top of the roof of a three-story building neighboring the bar. "You're drunk," Sasuke observed before returning his gaze to the sky.
Sakura jumped onto the same roof and cautiously stepped towards him. This was their first encounter since he had touched her forehead and told her he would return.
"Can I sit?" she gestured to a spot on the roof near her former teammate. Sasuke made no movement, which she interpreted as a sign of affirmation.
She sat next to him, the closest she had physically been to him since she had healed him in the hospital. They continued to stare at the sky, and Sakura wondered whether this was what Sasuke had been doing every night during his journey to explore the world and rediscover himself. The quiet calm air outsisde so contrasted the stuffy and loud atmosphere that choked the inside of the bar. Maybe this was his means of pacifying the chaotic demons inside him.
So many unspoken words she knew she wanted to say, so many questions left unanswered, and so many unraveled ends that were left untied. However, there was no urgency this time to say it all, now that Sasuke was back. She just wanted to savor this rare occasion of being able to be around the Uchiha in private.
Silence. The air between them this time was no longer as heavy and tension-filled as it was between them in the hospital five years ago, but it was still filled with silence. This time it was different, Sakura noted, less awkward with heartfelt love confessions long behind th—
"Sakura," Sasuke's voice interrupted her thoughts. Sakura turned to him to see how his bangs had grown longer, brushing the bridge of his nose. He continued to keep his eyes fixated on the sky without looking at her.
"Sasuke-kun, what—"
"I'm sorry."
Sakura stared at him, shocked at his second apology since the one he made to her after his battle with Naruto. Sasuke's eyes closed in deep reflection as he uttered the words. This apology was different. The first apology was brash and rushed—one that came out of from a sudden change of heart. This time, the apology held a graver tone to it—one that was more thoughtful after years of contemplation and introspection. Maybe Naruto was right. Maybe Sasuke had changed after all.
Sakura choked on her own words, unsure of what to say. She had always had feelings for him. She wanted to forgive him there and then and allow Team 7 to revert back to what it once was and—
You don't deserve to be treated like that by any guy—love him or not. Ino's words resounded in her head. What has she ever done to him besides expose her heart and soul to him?
"I-I can't forgive you," the words seemed to flow out of her mouth before she could catch herself. She was shocked that she was able to say what was on her mind but the alcohol was giving her more courage than normal. Sakura averted her gaze to a spot past his shoulders. Shock briefly flashed in Sasuke's face before returning to the same stoic, unreadable expression. Sakura clumsily stood up from her sitting position.
"What I mean to say is, I can't forgive you so easily like this. Not after all the hurt and suffering that you've put me—and Team 7—through," Sakura felt more heat rise to her cheeks, and she didn't know whether it was from frustration or from the sake. She turned from him and took a few steps back to the general direction of her house, keeping her eyes downcast on the roof beneath her feet.
"I know I'll forgive you eventually. Just…it'll take time," Sakura muttered, "Trust is something that you have to earn back."
Flustered and lightheaded, Sakura headed back to her apartment without glancing back to see Sasuke's reaction. They were words spoken out of intoxication, but they were also words spoken out of honesty. Sakura felt somewhat relieved to have said them.
Sasuke watched Sakura's retrieving back. Trust is something you have to earn back.
Sasuke smirked.
Author's note:
My rendition of the beginning interaction between Sasuke and Sakura, which would eventually lead to them making Salad ;) .First time posting a Sasusaku story in like...7 years? After the last chapter, I literally woke up one day filled with inspiration/joy and was like "I'm going to contribute to the Sasusaku fandom".
Last scene was inspired by a beautiful fan art comic I saw on tumblr, and I can't seem to find it anymore. If anyone knows it...I really want to link it to everyone!
Signed into my account after a 7 years hiatus and was surprised to see a rather nasty and explicit message from a "pissed" user cause I wasn't updating (like cussing at me will inspire me to start updating...). During my 7 years hiatus I was drowning in academics and outside projects. Fortunately got into my ivy league dream school, but unfortunately ended up reallyyyy busy. Surprise, surprise: we all have outside lives. It's not that I'm lacking in Sasusaku love or anything.
Might end up making this a two-shot even though I want to capture the relationship development between Sasuke and Sakura as it would've occurred, and I know Sasuke is the type of character that requires a while for him to open up (i.e. gradual relationship development and long multichapter story which I would personally love to see). We'll see...
