This is sorta AU; in that Logan and Duncan didn't turn their backs on Veronica after Lilly died. It includes events that happened in the series, but the timeline is out of wack.
Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars or any of its associated characters/storylines. No copyright infringement intended.
Happy reading!
It had been two weeks since Lilly Kane was murdered. Two weeks since Veronica had seen her best friend lying on the side of the Kane's pool with blood spilling from her head. One week since the funeral.
The funeral…
Veronica had entered it with her parents. They were more there to help Veronica through it.
As Veronica walked through the large church, she couldn't stop the tears from falling freely from her eyes. She looked around and all she could see was black. Everywhere. Everything was black.
'God, who died?' she could almost hear Lilly saying, 'Oh, that's right, I did.'
Lilly was not black. She was bright. She was colourful. She was out there. She was not black.
Veronica could see her classmates as she walked closer and closer to the front. She took a seat next to Logan in the second row from the front. She could see that he was crying too, and he, like her, didn't care who saw.
Logan's parents were sat on the other side of him. Both wearing sunglasses. And black.
He didn't even look at her as she sat down. She didn't want to touch him, or anything at all. She didn't want this to feel real. It still didn't. It felt like a dream, just a horrible dream, a nightmare.
She looked towards the front and saw Duncan crying on his father's shoulder. Celeste was stoic as she looked towards the entrance of the chapel, her eyes never blinking. She just stared.
The coffin was already out the front. Closed, thank god. But eerie, still. Just knowing that she was here. In the room. But no longer there.
She felt an arm around her shoulder. Her dad was trying to comfort her. Veronica moved to be out of his grip. She didn't say anything, but he knew what she meant, so he removed his arm.
The priest blared on about what a great human being Lilly was… blah, blah, blah.
How could he say anything about her? He didn't know her; he didn't know the things that she liked, her favourite colour, her favourite song. Nothing. He knew nothing about Lilly Kane.
The funeral finished within an hour; to the singing of a hymn. Logan broke down. Veronica found herself rubbing his back comfortingly without even realizing it.
He was nestled into her shoulder, crying, within the next moment. She buried her own head into his side and let the tears fall freely, too.
The church was slowly emptying, but they stayed in that position. Maybe just knowing how the other person felt was what was keeping them there.
From the corner of her eye, Veronica could see her parents moving towards Logan's. Exchanging hushed words; probably figuring out how to handle this.
'Come on, son,' said Aaron finally.
'Sweetie,' said her own father, coaxing her towards him.
She felt Logan's weight shift from her shoulder as he moved away. He looked back as he made his way through the chapel. His eyes meeting with her own, flashing a silent understanding between the two.
Keith had his arm around his daughter, as he pushed her back towards the entrance of the church. He kissed her temple in an attempt to tell her, 'it's going to be okay.'
But it wasn't.
Life couldn't go on the same way anymore.
Veronica walked past Eli Navarro as she exited the chapel. He was staring at the front, not blinking, just like Celeste. What was the leader of a bike gang doing here?
She didn't know. And at this point in time, she didn't care.
Veronica found herself out the front of the Echolls' house before she knew it. It had been a week since the funeral, since Logan had cried on her shoulder.
She didn't know why she was here, of all places. But she knew that she couldn't go to the Kane's, the memories of seeing Lilly there were too haunting. The only other person that would understand was Logan.
Veronica jumped the fence. She didn't feel like using the intercom and announcing to his parents that she was screwed up and that's why she was there.
It was hard to navigate the fence through the dark, but she managed it.
She went straight for the pool house. She knew that this was where he spent most of his time. She just hoped that he would be there now.
She knocked once.
He opened the door and leaned on the frame before murmuring, 'come in.'
As she entered the room, she saw that she wasn't the only one seeking solace at Logan's.
Duncan was seated on the couch.
'Oh hey,' he said, when he saw her. They had been cold towards each other since their unexpected break up, but now was not the time for thinking about that. It was about Lilly now. It didn't matter about their problems.
'I vote we drink to her memory. Give her the send off that she deserves; instead of that bullshit at her funeral,' announced Logan.
He had read her mind, and she told him so.
He pulled a small key from his pocket and opened the liquor cabinet on the wall.
He grabbed the three closest bottles to him and handed one to Veronica, Duncan and himself.
Veronica took a seat on the floor, taking her first gulp of the beverage. It burned her throat, but she didn't care. She didn't care if she drank the whole bottle, as long as it would help numb the pain.
'To Lilly,' said Duncan, raising his bottle.
'And all of her fabulousness,' added Veronica, before they all took a hearty swig.
Soon they were all drunk and raising their glasses to whatever they remembered that Lilly loved.
'To Europe,' said Duncan, as he remembered their last family holiday.
'To shot glasses,' said Logan.
'To boys,' said Veronica. The two boys looked at her and she blushed. 'I mean, spice girl songs.'
They all laughed giddily at that.
'To being over dramatic,' said Duncan.
'To being immature and irresponsible,' said Logan.
'To being young and free and doing whatever the hell she liked!' said Veronica.
'To showing her body off, just cos she could,' said Logan.
'To pissing my mom off,' said Duncan.
'To us,' said Veronica, as she received puzzled looks from the other two. 'Because she loved us, and we all loved her.'
'Cheers to that,' said Duncan.
'Yeah, cheers,' said Logan, as they all clinked their bottles together before downing the last remaining contents from them.
Veronica either passed out or fell asleep on the poolroom floor. When she opened her eyes in the morning, Logan's mom, Lynn was throwing blankets over the three teenagers and clearing up the bottles.
Veronica felt groggy from the hangover. She couldn't imagine getting up. So she fell back to sleep.
'Veronica,' she heard a voice as someone tried to move her. She opened her eyes slightly. 'Your dad's here.'
It was Duncan.
'Oh god,' she said. She didn't go home last night. She was dead. She quickly snapped out of hangover mode.
There was no way that she could make any excuses from this one; her dad would know that she spent the night at a boy's house, with two boys, and that she had drunk. A lot.
He didn't say anything as he drove her home.
She opened her mouth about to speak, but he simply said, 'don't explain. I get it. And I don't mind. Just that once. I understand.'
She was grateful.
She learned that day that her father was investigating the Kane's in association with the murder of Lilly.
Logan came to her house that night.
She opened the door, surprised to see him.
'Grounded?' he asked plainly.
'No, actually. My dad said that he understood. I didn't get anything. You?'
'My mother actually had a similar policy. I know that she's nowhere near as harsh as the sheriff, but she said something along the same lines. Hell, she even cleaned up the bottles before dad could find out that I got into the liquor.'
'I know. I saw her in the morning. Tell her thanks.'
'Will do. So, are you going to invite me in?' he asked.
'Oh, yeah, sure,' she said, opening the door to him. They walked past her parents, who were sitting on the couch, on the way to her room.
'Mum, dad, Logan's here,' she said.
Lianne and Keith exchanged greetings with him, both with sympathetic looks on their faces.
'I've never been in your room before,' he said, as he entered it.
'Yeah, well, it's a privilege even to see the door,' joked Veronica, although neither laughed, nor even smiled.
He sat on the bed, laying down on it. He sighed deeply.
'It's so surreal.' He said simply.
She sat down, before lying down next to him. 'I know.'
'I feel like I should be waking up at any moment.'
'Like the alarm should go off and wake me up.'
He looked over at her. 'I miss her.'
'I do too. I can't stop thinking about it, obsessing about it… what went through her head… I can't understand…'
'Who would do something like that to her,' said Logan, finishing off her sentence.
'I need water.' Said Veronica, before hopping off the bed and leaving the room.
When she returned, she thrust the bottle into Logan's hand. He was sitting cross-legged on the floor now. So she joined him.
'Your dad is investigating the Kane's, did you know?' he asked suddenly, his eyes blaring into her own.
'I know,' she said.
'Do you know why?'
'No. I don't know anything about the case.'
'I don't think that they did it,' Logan said stubbornly, 'no one would kill their own daughter, not even Celeste is that cold-hearted.'
'I don't know anything about the case. So if you came here just to talk about it, you may as well go downstairs and talk to my dad,' said Veronica, as she took a gulp of the water.
'If my dad is investigating them, then he'll have his reasons. He's not that heartless to think 'hmm… that girl just got murdered. Now, who would have killed her… let's see… her parents." Veronica said bitterly.
'I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. Of course he wouldn't go after them just because… You're right,' he said, as he tried to rub her shoulder. She pulled away from him, so that he couldn't touch her.
'Did you come over here just to ask me why?' Veronica asked him suspiciously.
'No, actually. I don't know why… I just thought that you'd understand.'
'Yeah,' Veronica said gently, 'that's why I went to your place last night. I knew you'd understand, you and Duncan, and I couldn't go to the Kane's…' she broke off.
'I know the feeling. I don't want to be anywhere near the place, near the place where she died.'
Logan grabbed Veronica in a hug before she could realise what was going on. She was crying into his shirt before too long. He rubbed her back soothingly, trying to make her stop before he, too started the waterworks.
She pulled away from him, 'I'm sorry.'
'Don't be,' he said sympathetically, 'It's not your fault.'
She smiled weakly at him. He gave her a small smile back.
'I haven't been back to school,' Logan said.
'Me neither. I got ready a couple of days ago, but as soon as I pulled up, I couldn't do it.'
'My mom wants me to go back soon, otherwise I'll have to do summer school.'
'My parents want me to go too. I've been cleaning obsessively since the funeral, trying to keep myself occupied,' said Veronica, wiping the tear-tracks from her face.
'Let's go tomorrow. Together.'
It sounded a lot better than alone.
Logan picked her up in his yellow Xterra in the morning, bright and early.
'Hey you,' he said, as she hopped in the passenger side. 'Ready?'
'No.'
But they went anyway.
'My mom's taking me to see a therapist,' Veronica admitted.
'Yeah, mine too.'
'I don't want to talk about her to a complete stranger.'
'I… know the feeling. They didn't know her, what right do they have to judge me over my feelings about her and her death.'
'It's been good to talk to you. Someone that knew her.'
'Yeah, you too,' said Logan as he continued to drive.
When they reached the school, they just sat in the car, looking straight at the school.
'I can't do it,' said Logan.
'I had the same feeling the other day.'
'Let's skip. One more day can't hurt.'
'Sure, why not?'
They reached a local beach in half an hour.
Logan headed straight for the sand. He lay down and basked in the sun. Veronica followed suit, lying next to him, not caring about the amount of sand that was going in her hair or her clothes.
'The sound of the waves is calming,' he said bluntly.
'Yeah, it is,' Veronica agreed after listening carefully to them after a minute.
'I come here all the time, to think. Especially the last few weeks, I've been coming here a lot.'
'It's… understandable.'
'You should see this at night. When the waves are crashing, and you're looking up, and all you can see is the sky and the stars.'
'Sounds nice. I should check it out sometime.'
'I used to bring Lilly here sometimes. But she wouldn't sit still, she had to be doing something, moving, swimming, something.'
'Really?' asked Veronica. 'Whenever I'd go to the Kane's, all she'd want to do sun bake and relax.'
'I remember. Everytime I'd go there, I'd see you two lounging by the pool.'
'Yeah, and then you'd come out and splash us, or wake us up!' said Veronica, chuckling. Logan laughed a little, too.
'You must have talked a lot. You'd sit there for hours, talking.'
'Yeah, we talked about everything. She was my best friend. We talked about dumb things sometimes, all topics brought up by Lilly, of course, like, 'Veronica, why do you think that guy's can show their chests publicly, but girls can't?" Veronica imitated her voice. Logan laughed.
'That was her, alright.'
'Yeah, but I loved her.'
'Everyone did.'
'Well, someone didn't.'
The statement stayed in the air between them for a while, both thinking about how their friend, their girlfriend had died. Why she had died. Who would want to kill her? Who did kill her?
It was a question that didn't have an answer yet.
'Hungry?' Logan asked after a while.
'Not really,' said Veronica truthfully.
'Me neither, just throwing it out there.'
Silence left them once again to their own thoughts.
'I can't believe she's gone. I thought that she was invincible, like the whole world kind of revolved around her,' Veronica admitted for the first time.
'I know exactly how you feel. I wake up in the morning and start to call her before I remember that she's dead. Then my stomach just sinks. I just can't believe it.'
'Have you talked to anyone else from school besides me and Duncan?'
'No. No one. If anyone comes to the door, I just tell mom to send them away; besides Duncan of course. I can't handle seeing them,' he was referring to his toadies, Dick Casablancas and the like. 'They wouldn't understand. They didn't know her like we did.'
We. He meant Duncan, Lilly, Veronica and himself. 'The Fab Four' as Lilly had named them. They were all the best of friends, a tight knit group, especially when Duncan and Veronica had been dating. Lilly and Veronica, best friends. Duncan and Logan, best friends. Lilly and Logan, dating. Duncan and Veronica, dating. Duncan and Lilly, siblings, closer than most.
The only break in the connection was Logan and Veronica. They were friends, they supposed, not the best of friends, but they were the 'other half' of their consecutive best friend's, so they were close.
The Fab Four, now the Fab Three. It didn't seem right without Lilly. Nothing would be right without her.
'She wouldn't want us to be unhappy.'
'No.'
'But how can we be happy without her? It's like cutting an arm off,' said Logan, still looking up at the clear, blue sky.
'I have to go home soon. I have a therapy visit this afternoon,' said Veronica.
'Sure. Come on,' Logan got up off the sand and extended his hand to pull Veronica up.
They drove home in silence. When they reached Veronica's house Logan said simply, 'Let's try again tomorrow. Pick you up in the morning?'
'Sure.'
Sure enough, the next morning, Logan pulled up in his Xterra to pick Veronica up.
'Good morning,' she greeted brightly. She was feeling good today; better than she had since Lilly's death.
'Morning,' he replied when she got in.
'I think I'll be able to do it today,' Veronica said on the way there, 'I have a good feeling.'
'Yeah? Good, perhaps you can help me through it.'
'We'll help each other,' Veronica assured him, as she rubbed his shoulder comfortingly.
When they pulled up to the parking lot, Veronica got out and waited for Logan at his side of the car.
He got out too. They started to walk, before Veronica felt him grasp her hand. She didn't mind.
They walked, hand in hand, through the cafeteria, through the main doors. Veronica could see people looking at them as they made their way through the school; but she didn't care. Having Logan there with her probably helped.
They were walking down the hall when they saw Duncan.
Logan's hand left her own as he hugged his friend.
'I was wondering when you two were going to show up,' Duncan said. Logan stopped hugging him and Veronica immediately took his position, hugging her ex-boyfriend.
Duncan rubbed her back soothingly.
When the bell rang for homeroom, Logan walked in a different direction from Duncan and Veronica.
They sat down next to each other while the teacher took the roll.
'Veronica Mars?'
'Here,' she said.
Suddenly, all eyes were on her, as if expecting her to totally breakdown or something.
'What?' Veronica suddenly yelled to her classmates. They all looked away quickly.
Duncan rubbed her knee below the desk.
Veronica put her head in her hands.
'Veronica Mars, the counselor wants to see you,' someone was standing by the door.
She picked up her stuff and went to the office.
'So, Veronica, how do you feel about it? Are you okay?' Asked Miss James.
Veronica crossed her arms over her chest. She hadn't said a word since entering the office, and she didn't plan to.
'Are you going to talk about it?' Veronica shook her head. No. Not to you.
'You can't keep all your feelings bottled up inside, Veronica. You have to talk about it. It's good to talk.'
Veronica stared at her desk, not keeping eye contact.
'You didn't know her. I don't want to talk about her to someone who didn't know her.'
Miss James considered this for a moment. 'Have you spoken to your parents, then? Another friend of hers maybe?'
'Yeah, Logan.'
'Lilly's boyfriend?'
'Yes,' Veronica breathed.
'Well, that's a start,' said Miss James. 'You can go, Veronica. Come and see me next week sometime.'
As Veronica left the office, she met Logan sitting on a chair outside. He must be here to see the counselor as well.
'How did it… how are you?' he settled on.
'I'm surviving. It's torture. I hardly said anything. I just couldn't talk to her.'
Logan rubbed her shoulder as he passed her and walked into the office.
Veronica took the seat that he had been sitting in. She would skip the next lesson. She wanted to wait for him.
Veronica could hear the conversation through the next door.
'So, Veronica said that she's been talking to you.'
'Yes.'
'That's good. So, how do you feel about it?'
Silence.
'You don't want to talk about it?'
'Not to you.'
'So you and Miss Mars have the same point of view about this?'
'Yes.'
'You don't have anything to say?'
'No.'
She sighed.
Veronica felt someone sit down on the bench next to her. It was that Weevil guy, the leader of the motorcycle club. What was he doing here?
'You can go, Logan. I'll see you next week,' Veronica heard from the office.
As Logan exited the room, he was surprised to see Veronica waiting for him.
'Let's walk,' she said as she stood up. She felt her hand inside of Logan's once again.
'I couldn't do it.' Logan said quietly.
'Me neither,' she admitted.
'We'll be alright, won't we?' he asked, looking into her eyes as they walked through the halls.
'We will. Not the same, but we'll be alright.'
'We have English next, don't we?'
'Yeah, I just need to get some books first,' she said, as she steered them towards her locker.
She opened it, as a note fell onto her lap.
'What's that?' asked Logan.
She opened it. 'Oh god.'
'What?' he looked alarmed. She passed him the note.
He scanned it and read aloud, "So did you just wait until Lilly died before you could steal her boyfriend?' Who the hell would write this?' asked Logan loudly, outraged.
Veronica snatched the note from him as she closed her locker. She started to walk away. Logan ran to catch up and squeezed her hand.
'It doesn't matter what they say; they'll never know the truth,' he said, as she looked down at their intertwined hands.
'True,' Veronica mumbled. She took the note, scrunched it up into a little ball and threw it into the nearest trashcan.
Lunch was an ordeal and a half. When Logan and Veronica arrived at the '09er' table, they were met with half sympathetic looks, half unimpressed looks, as the people there looked down at their intertwined hands.
Meg Manning stood up and hugged Veronica tightly.
'I tried to call you. I came around to your house, but you weren't there,' she said quietly.
'Yeah, I didn't feel like talking. But, thanks anyway.'
Meg had always been nice to her. They had never been the best of friends, but you could always count on her for anything.
Logan took a seat down next to Veronica. He placed his hand on her knee and rubbed it during lunch.
'So, Veronica. How long have you and Logan been dating?' asked Madison Sinclair unkindly.
'We're not dating,' Veronica said plainly, so that everyone at the table could hear.
'Oh, I just thought that…'
'We're friends,' said Logan harshly.
He had been right. People wouldn't understand.
'Come on, Veronica. I feel like a change of scenery,' he said, as he draped an arm around her shoulder and stood up from the table.
He steered them to another empty table.
'Do you want a drink?' Logan asked her.
'Yeah.'
He left. Meg joined Veronica a moment later.
'Don't worry about Madison. She's a bitch.' Meg said plainly, she looked at Veronica glumly. 'So… how are you?'
'Coping. Logan's helping me through it.'
'Everyone loved her.' Meg said sadly, 'everyone. Well, except for girls like Madison. But only because she was jealous of her.'
'Yeah,' Veronica said with a small smile. Logan returned with the drinks.
'Sunkist right?' he said, as he put the can in front of her.
'You remembered?' said Veronica.
'We did spend last summer hanging out at the Kane's,' he reminded her. 'Oh hey Meg.' He smiled a little at her.
'Hi Logan. Anyway, I probably should be getting back to Cole. I'll talk to you later, Veronica.' She said, as she got up to leave.
'I like Meg. She's always nice to me.' Logan said.
'Yeah, she's cool,' Veronica smiled.
'I'm not sure what exactly this meatloaf is made of, but it doesn't look right.' Duncan said, as he sat down at their table, carrying a tray.
'Dude, why don't you just order a pizza or something? You are a billionaire, and you do have pirate points,' said Logan.
Duncan laughed, 'I thought that it would be good to experience cafeteria food, once in my life.'
The next week went on normally; with Veronica just hanging out with Logan and Duncan and occasionally Meg.
School was okay, except for the fact that everytime she and Logan would walk down the halls, they would receive dirty looks. But it didn't bother them. They saw each other everyday. They talked and joked. They were friends now.
Everything was going fine until Keith accused Jake Kane, Lilly's father, of murdering her.
The families of Neptune that had earned their fortunes through Kane Software turned their backs on the Mars'. People at school would give Veronica evil looks, while shaking their heads.
When Veronica got back from school, on the day that it had been announced, she ran straight into her room and just cried.
She didn't even notice when Logan poked his head through the doorway.
She suddenly felt a warm body envelope her, holding her.
She turned around and cried into his shirt.
'Oh god, Logan. It's so horrible,' she choked between sobs.
She described the looks at school that she had gotten that day.
'You'd think that I accused him of doing it! I had no idea. They all blame me.'
'Don't worry, Veronica, you'll survive,' he said, as he stroked her hair.
'I don't know what I would have done if you weren't here,' she admitted to him quietly.
'Same with you,' he said.
She heard the doorbell ring from downstairs.
She quickly ran down to get it, not worrying about her red-rimmed eyes or running mascara.
It was Duncan.
'Duncan…'
'Don't say anything, Veronica. Do you have any idea what your family is doing to mine?' he suddenly shouted.
'Duncan…I.'
'Your dad thinks that my dad killed his only daughter!' he shouted furiously. 'Lilly! Your best friend!'
'Duncan…I.'
'No, you listen to me; I can't even look at you. God, Veronica, take a look around. You're destroying us!'
Logan suddenly came to the door.
'Don't blame her for this! She's not the one making the decisions, working on the murder case. So why the fuck are you yelling at her? She loved Lilly too!' Logan suddenly shouted at him.
Duncan sighed and subdued himself. 'You're right. I'm sorry, Veronica,' he said softly. 'It's just so hard. You have no idea… first Lilly, now this.'
'It's okay, Duncan,' she said.
It wasn't.
'I should…go. I have to get home,' Duncan said hesitantly. He turned around and practically sprinted back to his car.
'Oh god,' said Veronica, as she turned back into Logan and let a whole new set of tears flow freely from her eyes.
'It's okay, we'll deal with this,' said Logan, as he rubbed her back.
'You're probably so sick of me just crying on you,' said Veronica.
'Not really, I know if it was me, you'd be there.'
He smiled a little at her.
If Veronica thought that things couldn't get much worse, she was wrong.
School was horrible. She probably would have had a complete breakdown if it wasn't for Logan and Duncan, practically the only people left who would talk to her without looking like they wanted to kill her.
They put their arms around her shoulders whenever they walked with her, trying to comfort her.
She felt better, as hardly anyone would make nasty comments when they were with her.
She would often get accosted by girls like Madison Sinclair in the bathroom.
'How could he stand to sit with you, to touch you, after what you've done to his family?' she sneered, referring to Duncan.
'Oh, yeah, you must be giving it up to both of your little 'boyfriends.' You're nothing but a whore, Veronica Mars.'
'And how long did it take for you to latch onto your dead best friend's boyfriend? Do you have no shame?' Said another girl, one of Madison's friends.
Meg walked out of the toilets, looking stern. 'Leave her alone, Madison. You don't know anything about this, so keep your thick head out of it,' she said coolly.
'Fine,' Madison turned to leave. When the bathroom door closed behind her, Veronica broke down. She was crying into Meg's shoulder within seconds.
'Here,' Meg held out a Kleenex for her. 'Don't listen to her.'
'I'm trying, but it's not just her. It's everyone.'
'Don't worry. Look, if Duncan forgives you, then everyone else should, I mean, he's the one that's concerned with all this.'
'You're right,' said Veronica, as she hugged Meg.
'You should come to Shelley's end of year party,' she said.
Veronica scoffed. 'Somehow, I don't think I'd be welcome.'
'Sure, well, think about it. I'll talk to you later, Veronica. I'm always around,' she offered nicely.
'Thanks, Meg,' Veronica said, as she smiled at the girl who was closing the bathroom door behind her.
One week later, the crime scene video of Lilly Kane was leaked on the Internet. Veronica's father, Keith Mars had taken the fall.
If she thought that school wasn't bearable before; she was wrong. Now people would yell things at her in the halls, on her way to classes.
'How do you think her family feels?' someone yelled.
'You're shameless, Veronica Mars.'
She hadn't spoken to Logan or Duncan since she had found out the news.
She didn't cry anymore, she just ignored it, turned a blind eye to the insults.
Veronica sat down at their table; Logan's, Duncan's and her own. She was alone when she felt somebody blowing spitballs at her.
She flicked them off, feeling horrible. Someone was going over to the people spitting them. Veronica felt grateful. It was Duncan. He took a seat next to Veronica after he had finished with the boy.
'I'm sorry,' Veronica said plainly.
'Not your fault.'
'My dad didn't leak that video, Duncan. He would never do that.'
'I know. I didn't think that he would.'
'The mayor's using him as a scapegoat. He'll probably be fired.'
Duncan looked into her eyes. 'I'm sorry.'
'Not your fault.'
He knew what she was talking about. Everything concerning Lilly after her funeral; his dad being accused, the tape.
'Not your fault either.'
Logan sat down at the table, staring down at it. Eyes red and bloodshot, not saying anything.
'Logan…?' Veronica started.
'I saw it.' He said plainly, 'the video.'
'Oh god, Logan,' Veronica said, as she hugged him.
Now they had all seen Lilly dead. Veronica and Duncan, when it had happened.
She still had nightmares about it sometimes.
'I got fired.'
Silence.
'We can't stay here anymore, we can't afford it.'
'What are you going to do, dad?'
'Become a Private Investigator. We're staying in Neptune.'
'No. We're not,' said Lianne forcefully.
'Yes. We are,' answered Keith.
'We can't, Keith. We can't.'
'I refuse to be run out of town, Lianne. We're staying.'
Veronica watched her parents fighting.
'We can't stay. Do you know how people treat me? When I'm out grocery shopping, or paying the bills?' Lianne said desperately, with tears just waiting to be let out of the floodgates.
'We have absolutely nothing to run from, nothing.'
'Oh, except the fact that you accused the most powerful man in town of murdering his own daughter! And that everyone thinks that you leaked the tape.'
'I had nothing to do with that tape!' Keith shouted. 'And as for Jake Kane, his story just doesn't add up. He's hiding something, Lianne.'
'He has an alibi!' she shouted, exasperated. She stood up from the table, and slammed the door loudly behind her as she exited the house.
Keith turned to his daughter.
'We'll be alright, sweetie.'
Will we? She thought. Her mom had been leaving the house lately, and only returning in the morning. This was tearing her family apart. She could feel it.
She went to Logan's that night. Lynn answered the front door and let her straight in.
She found Logan sitting on his bed, watching TV in his room.
'We're moving.' She stated simply from the doorway.
He looked at her alarmed, as he turned the TV off. She took a seat next to him.
'Where?'
'We're staying in Neptune. We just can't afford our house anymore, now that dad got fired.'
'Oh,' said Logan. He was relieved that one of his best friends wasn't moving away.
'We're looking for apartments tomorrow.'
He cleared his throat. 'Well, if you ever need a place to stay or anything, Trina's room is always free.'
'Thanks,' she smiled at him.
'Or if you need help with moving your furniture; my humungous muscles are always at your disposal.'
'Humungous?' Veronica raised her eyebrows and laughed.
'Are you okay, Veronica?' Logan asked seriously.
'Not really. Everything's changing. My mom and dad are always fighting. Now this.'
She smiled gently at him.
'We'll be okay,' Logan said solemnly.
'We will,' Veronica agreed.
'Thanks a lot, boys,' said Keith as he threw them both a soda.
'That's okay, Mr Mars,' said Duncan.
If Duncan's parents knew that he was here, helping the Mars family move into their new apartment, Veronica was sure that he would be punished gravely.
The wedge between their families was growing, and Veronica was only just holding on to keep Duncan as her friend. They all felt the pressure growing from the other 09ers for the boys to ditch Veronica.
They had spent the whole morning moving heavy furniture into the tiny apartment. The whole place could have fit neatly inside both of the boys' bedrooms.
'I'm just glad I could do something,' said Logan, as he smiled at Veronica.
Lianne wasn't around. She hadn't been home since last night.
Veronica was starting to worry about her mother. The night before last, she had gone with her father to pick up a very drunk Lianne from a bar.
The experience had scared Veronica. But she knew how much pressure Lianne was under from the rest of the locals, the same pressure that was applied to Veronica at school.
'Well, I have to go back to the office,' said Keith, referring to the newly bought office space that was Mars Investigations, 'Thanks again, boys.'
'Yeah, I should be going too. My parents would kill me if they knew I was here,' said Duncan, with a guilty smile.
'Bye,' said Veronica and Logan, as both Duncan and Keith exited the apartment.
Logan sat down on the couch that he had recently moved into the room. Veronica sat down next to him.
'So, where's your mom?'
'I… don't know. She didn't come home last night.'
'Is she…?'
'If I tell you something; can you promise not to tell anyone, Logan?'
'You can trust me,' he said, placing his hand on her knee.
'Last night… we picked her up from a bar, drunk. She's been coming home like that a lot lately. I… I think she's an alcoholic.'
'Don't worry about it. My mom drinks all the time. She'll be okay.'
'But it's so not like her. She never drinks!'
'Veronica, you, of all people should know that things change.'
Veronica thought about it. He was so right.
'Yeah, you're right, I guess. I mean, look at us; friends.' She smiled at him.
Suddenly, one night, Lianne left.
Veronica didn't get a chance to say goodbye or anything.
The tarnished reputation of the Mars family continued on as someone had leaked the news that Lianne was an alcoholic.
The catcalls at school changed from taunts about Lilly's murder investigations to personal attacks about Veronica's mother.
'Hey, Mars, feel like skipping class today? We'll supply the grog. The apple never falls far from the tree, eh?'
Veronica just clenched her jaw as she ignored the insults.
'Who'd you tell?' she asked Logan, as she found him seated at their table.
'What?'
'Who did you tell about my mom?' she asked bitterly, her arms crossed over her chest.
'I…No one,' he said solemnly.
'Well, suddenly the whole school knows, and you're the only person who knew!' she said, close to tears.
'Veronica, please, just listen to me…'
A tear made its way down her cheek. 'I trusted you.'
'I didn't tell anyone!' Logan yelled exasperated, while receiving stares from the crowd.
Veronica ran towards the bathroom; all of her built up angst now coming to the forefront as she cried, and cried. She stayed in the bathroom and sobbed for the rest of the day.
She spent the next few days avoiding Logan when suddenly; a bomb was dropped.
'We're moving to Napa.' Duncan told her at lunch. 'Indefinitely. My parents want to get away from Neptune.'
Veronica virtually dropped her fork. 'Are… are you sure?'
Duncan nodded. 'Next week. We're packing up the house now.'
'Duncan…I…'
Don't want you to go? Am still in love with you?
'…I'm going to miss you. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't of been here.' She grabbed for his hand and rubbed it.
'I want you to make it up with Logan,' said Duncan unexpectedly.
'Duncan…'
'Please, Veronica,' he pleaded.
'I'll try,' she said, not making any promises.
He smiled at her. 'I just want you to know, I'm proud of you. You're so strong, after everything you've been through lately.'
'Thanks,' she smiled coyly at him.
Duncan, true to his word, left a week later.
Veronica decided that she would go to Shelley's party after all, if only to prove that she could go out without Duncan by her side. She was ready to face the 09ers without any help or support. She was Veronica Mars; and she wasn't about to let anyone get in her way.
When she arrived, she received nothing but dirty looks from her former crowd.
'Veronica! I'm so happy you're here!' said Meg, as she hugged her.
'Hey Meg,' Veronica said to her quietly.
'What are you doing here?' said Caitlin Ford unkindly.
'She was invited, Caitlin,' said Meg severely.
'I don't remember inviting white trash,' said Shelley, as she passed through.
'Shelley,' said Meg desperately.
'Don't worry about it, I was just on my way out,' said Veronica.
'No,' said Meg firmly. 'Veronica's staying.'
'I… need a drink,' said Veronica, making up an excuse to get away from them.
As if someone had read her mind, Veronica found a drink in her hand. She gulped it down. At first it burnt her throat, but she didn't really mind.
Within the next ten minutes; she was feeling dizzy. So dizzy.
The last thing Veronica remembered was lying down on a pool chair before she passed out.
She woke up the next morning in a foreign room.
Where the hell am I? She thought.
She tried to get up, but was sore. Her bottom half was sore. She tried to make sense of what happened before she realised that she wasn't wearing any underwear.
Her virginity had been taken from her.
She managed to stumble back to her car. She found it graffitied with words like 'slut' and 'whore.'
Veronica felt terrible. She broke down in tears before driving to the Sheriff's department. She wasn't entirely sure why she was there, but then she realised that she had to report the rape.
She was a mess.
Veronica was slightly relieved when she was shown into the new Sheriff's office. Deputy Don Lamb had always been nice to her when her father was Sheriff. And now that he was the Sheriff; she was sure that he would help her.
Veronica was wrong.
After a tearful explanation of everything that Veronica could remember, Sheriff Don Lamb looked over at her, his blue eyes piercing her own as he said, 'So, should I round up the son's of the most important families in town? I have not a shred of evidence to work with here, but that doesn't really matter to your family now, does it?'
Veronica felt another tear fall down her cheek, and she didn't even bother to wipe it away. He leaned back on his chair as he said cruelly, 'She cries. You know what, Veronica Mars, you need to go and see the wizard, ask him for a little backbone.'
He sniffed as he motioned for her to leave.
But she stayed seated.
'Shoo, fly,' he said mockingly.
'You're a bastard, you know that, right?' Veronica asked bitterly, before wiping her cheeks and walking out of there.
When she went back to school on Monday, Veronica didn't say a word. She no longer had friends to sit with or console her. Worse still were the insults.
'Hey, Mars. Feel like getting a little jiggy with it? I hear you like that sort of thing,' said Dick Casablancas as she walked down the hall.
People were slut sneezing her all day, but she kept her game face on and just ignored them.
In the following weeks, Logan went back to the 09er crowd, leaving Veronica to sit alone at lunch, secluded to her own table.
It still puzzled him why the other 09ers talked so much trash about her, but he didn't really care. He simply told them to 'shut up,' when they called her a slut, and when they questioned him, he said, 'she's been through a lot, just give her a break.'
Logan hadn't told anyone about her mother. And she should have believed him, that's why he wasn't making another attempt at reconciling their friendship. After Duncan left, he watched her, as she became a different person, stronger, more resilient to the 09ers and their insults.
He never participated in their sparring wars, but he didn't try to stop it either. Perhaps that's why he felt so guilty afterwards.
And whenever they caught the other's eye; both would immediately look away, like it was too painful.
Maybe it was.
As the weeks turned into months after Lilly had died; Logan was even more surprised to find that Veronica, the same innocent, naïve, sweet, self-conscious Veronica that he had grown up with was throwing the 09ers insults back at them. She turned up to school late, she slept during class, she was sarcastic and sassy and snarky and hell bent on humiliating all those who had been nasty to her.
And if she thought that no one had noticed this change, she was wrong. Logan had. He watched her in the halls, or in the classroom and at lunch, where she no longer sat staring sadly into the distance, but worked on her laptop, or on school assignments, or whatever else she did that made her look like she was too busy to eat or attend school all together.
He shouldn't have been surprised when she turned up for school one morning with her long locks of hair chopped off. But he was.
He wondered where the sudden change had come from. It stemmed from Duncan leaving, and snowballed from there. He noticed that her fingernails were bitten down and painted black now, not the usual pink and manicured that he remembered when Lilly had been alive.
Then she started to wear different clothes. Logan didn't think he'd seen Veronica in a dress since Homecoming. Gone were the sweet, pink, non-revealing t-shirts, long, flowing skirts and cute ballet flats. Now she wore commando boots, like they could squash anything that came in her way. Maybe they could. Now she wore pants and jackets and pulled her short hair into two pigtails on either side of her head.
The only thing that she hadn't changed was Lilly's necklace, which she wore religiously around her throat. Although now a black choker accompanied it and Logan was stumped if he knew where exactly that had come from.
He still remembered the day when both girls had walked into the Kane's lounge room, both wearing cheesy smiles and shiny, new necklaces around their throats.
They were supposed to be like a 'best friend,' charm, but Lilly had said that they were tacky, so instead, Lilly had organized that Veronica buy her a necklace and Lilly buy Veronica one.
Lilly had chosen a small silver star on a chain for Veronica saying, 'this is because you're a star, Veronica Mars. You have potential.'
Veronica had chosen a small silver love heart on a chain for Lilly, but she had never said exactly why. Maybe it was that she was boy-crazy, or because she was loved.
But that was a long time ago, and Logan wondered what Lilly would think of Veronica now. They would probably be sidled together at the table right now, Lilly flipping through the latest issue of Cosmopolitan, whilst gossiping about something. 'Look at you, Veronica Mars, you're like a rocker chick now,' he could almost hear her voice.
But if Lilly were here, Duncan would probably be sitting at that table too. And Logan would be there as well, hand on Lilly's waist holding her against him as he endured all of her gossiping, while chatting absently to Duncan, planning their latest escapade in Tijuana. Veronica would tell them to 'be careful,' and 'don't do anything stupid,' looking directly at Logan as she said this.
That was another lifetime ago, yet it still felt comforting somehow, just thinking about the way if would be if she was still here.
She didn't have any friends, she had lost the last ones when she had yelled at Logan and Duncan had moved away. Even Meg wasn't as keen to sit with her anymore, maybe it was because of the entire student body ignoring or taunting her. Maybe it was because people were scared of Veronica Mars. They had seen first hand at her giving the 09ers a taste of her revenge, and no one was going to mess with her for a while.
Veronica was walking down the hall one day when some obnoxious 09er yelled something negative about her. She kept walking, as per usual. But when she heard a crash against a locker behind her, she turned sharply, surprised to see the 09er (Shaun Frederick) being held up against the locker. She ran over to them and pulled the guy off of him.
'I've got it, okay?' she yelled exasperated at the boy, who was tall with black hair and was built like a wall.
'You're fucking crazy!' said Shaun as he walked away, straightening out his clothes.
'Sorry,' the boy mumbled to her, as he scuffed his shoe against the polished floor.
'That's okay. But I can handle it,' she said. She was about to walk away before she asked, 'why did you do that anyway?'
'Don't you get sick of them?' he asked. He pointed roughly at himself, 'I do. And they aren't even directed at me.'
Veronica was confused. She didn't even know him, well; she knew his name, Norris Clayton, if she remembered correctly. She had gone to middle school with him.
A small smile covered her face, 'well, thanks. But I think I can handle it.'
With that she walked away; 'maybe Neptune High isn't so bad after all,' she thought to herself.
Her thoughts proved her wrong, as she noticed that two of her car's tires had been slashed after school.
When Norris had offered to be her lab partner, she had taken his offer straight away. Nobody wanted to be paired with Veronica Mars anymore, and so, subsequently, she had become her own partner in most classes.
Logan watched the two of them work together; cursing that he hadn't had the guts to go over there himself and ask her to be his partner. As much as he liked to dismiss the fact; he did miss her and he wished that things were different between them. If they weren't both so damn stubborn, maybe it would be.
When Norris Clayton eventually became a familiar feature at her lunch table, the rumors flew around Neptune High like nobody's business.
Looks like you've been replaced, Echolls.
So he would never admit that he missed her to anyone, but he was damn jealous of Norris, when he could see her laugh at his jokes and sit and talk to him. She was letting him into her protective little shell.
It was a total shock to Veronica one day when her dad knocked on and opened her bedroom door gingerly. She removed her headphones from her ears.
'Veronica…there's something you should probably know…' he said slowly.
'What?' she asked. She was a little scared about what the news was, exactly.
'I was just down at the Sheriff's Department…'
'And?'
'And they got a call in that Lynn Echolls had jumped off the Coronado Bridge.'
'What? Oh my god,' Veronica covered her mouth.
Keith attempted to take a seat next to her on the bed, but she almost jumped off the bed at the exact time that he sat down.
'I need to go and see Logan,' she said simply, as she rushed out of the house, grabbing her keys in the hurry.
When she got to the Echoll's gate, she let herself in, using the combination that Logan had taught her.
He had given it to her back when they were still friends, all those months ago, before Duncan left and everything had turned to dust.
'The combination's 19152.' He had said. 'You might want to write that down.'
'Wow, the combination to your gate. What happens if I want to steal all of your possessions, or take pictures and sell them to the tabloids?'
He had laughed and simply said, 'I trust you, Veronica. You wouldn't do that.'
But that was a long time ago and now, when she knocked on the front door, it dawned on her that she probably shouldn't have let herself in.
'I'm sorry, but the Echoll's aren't seeing any visitors today,' said Mrs Navarro as she opened the door.
'I want to talk to Logan.'
'Mr Echolls is inconsolable. He is in his room and refuses to leave…I'm sorry, Miss Mars.'
'Look, Mrs Navarro, please let me in. I want to see him. Please.'
It was probably the fact that Mrs Navarro knew what Logan and Veronica had been through together that she let the girl in.
'Thankyou.'
The house was eerily quiet as she walked through the enormous hall. Usually, the bustling of the help could be heard as they walked the halls, or Mrs Echolls yelling 'Logan, honey, would you like Letty to make you something to eat?'
Now the silence was unbearable.
She had reached Logan's door before she knew it. She simply stood by the door for a while, listening to the happenings inside the room, listening to the sturdy sniffs and sobs coming from within.
He didn't notice her as she let herself in.
His head was buried in his pillows, lying face down on his bed. She made him jump a little as she sat down next to him and ran soothing circles on his back. He didn't look up, but continued to sniff.
'I'm so sorry, Logan,' she whispered quietly. 'So sorry.'
After she had sat there for almost half an hour, in total silence, just rubbing his back, he sat up and she saw his face. God, he looked so broken.
He had every right to be. In the last few months, his girlfriend had been murdered, his best friend had moved away, his other best friend had turned her back on him and now his mother had committed suicide.
Veronica almost fell backwards onto the bed when Logan put all his weight onto her and cried on her shoulder.
Another hour later, after she had stroked his hair softly, he dried his eyes and pulled away from her. It was dark now.
'What are you doing here, Veronica?' he asked quietly. It wasn't a malicious question; it was a question of curiosity.
She swallowed hesitantly before answering, 'When Lilly died and you were there…you said that you knew that I would do the same for you. I realised tonight that you needed me here, regardless of our current friendship situation.'
He leaned into her once more and continued to sob. 'I'm glad you're here,' he said almost inaudibly.
On the day of Mrs Echolls funeral, Veronica had woken up early and gotten dressed in her 'funeral clothes.' The last time she had worn these had been at Lilly's funeral. And she almost threw up, just remembering that fact.
She picked Logan up at his house beforehand. He was sitting on the front step with a solemn suit and a pair of sunglasses covering his bloodshot eyes.
Veronica took the flask from his hands before he could resist. 'Not this morning. Maybe after.'
She noticed that the flask was still reasonably full as she slipped it into her handbag for safekeeping.
He scrunched up into the Le Baron without comment, and she simply rubbed his shoulder.
She sat with him in the chapel; coincidently the very same one that Lilly's funeral had been held in. She sat close to him, holding and squeezing his hands, and letting him use her shoulder as a Kleenex.
They sat in the front row, listening to the priest make pretty much the same speech as he had at Lilly's funeral.
After the service, she drove him back to his house, avoiding the reception that was being held downstairs and heading straight for his room.
'Logan, don't you want to-'
'He was cheating on her, you know that?' he asked, cutting her off.
'What? Who?' It suddenly dawned on her. 'Your dad?'
'Yeah. Aaron Echolls, all around family man and nice guy,' he said sarcastically.
'Logan…'
He looked into her eyes. 'She found out. Found out that he had basically slept his way through the 09er zip. Slept with all of her friends. She just couldn't take it anymore, couldn't handle all the lies…but I never thought that she would…' He stifled himself. 'Chardonnay and sleeping pills was more her style, but…'
'Logan,' she grabbed him by the shoulders. 'This is not your fault.'
'No. It's his,' he said plainly. 'How am I supposed to live with him…look at him after what he's done?'
'One thing I've realised over the past few months…is that everything happens for a reason. And I truly believe that, Logan. I do. And it may not seem clear right now, why this has happened, but you have to believe something.'
'I didn't tell anyone about your mother, Veronica, I swear.'
'I know. It turned out that the bartender at 'Sam's' had a mouth for gossip,' she stared down guiltily at his blanket for a second. 'I'm sorry for blaming you. For not listening to you, Logan.'
'You didn't know, Veronica. It's okay,' he said with a tiny smile.
They sat in silence for a few moments.
'She would be happier up there anyway,' he said.
Veronica felt her own tears making tracks down her face, and she grabbed Logan in a hug.
'We're going to be okay, Logan. You know that, right?'
He gave her a small, sad smile. 'I know. Now we have two angels looking down on us.'
She returned his smile.
It was a week later that she found him sitting down on the sand at the local beach, the same beach that they had come to after Lilly had died. Veronica had been looking for him since school had let out, wondering why she hadn't seen him there today.
By the light of the moon, she could make out his face, staring out at the waves.
'I'm thinking of learning how to surf,' he said, without breaking the stare.
'How did you know I was here?' she asked, as she continued to walk towards him, she was still a distance away.
He turned and smiled at her, 'You think you're stealthy, but you're actually quite loud.'
She punched him playfully on the arm as she took a seat next to him on the cool sand.
He lay back onto the sand and Veronica followed suit.
'So, you want to be a surfer dude, huh?'
'Totally!' he joked. She laughed.
'So I didn't see you at school today…'
'I couldn't do it. I'll try again next week.'
It was quiet for a minute, as they both looked up at the starry, serene sky.
'Now, Ronnie, you look up and tell me that isn't the most calming thing you've ever seen?' he said, as he pointed up into the clear sky at the stars.
'Please don't call me that ever again,' Veronica laughed.
'Your wish…'
After a comfortable silence she said, 'it is nice.'
'That's the spirit,' he said.
They sat there together, just staring up at the sky for at least another two hours.
'Are you dating Norris?' Logan asked after a while.
It awakened Veronica from her slumber. 'What? No!'
'Okay, just wondering,' he said, 'I wanted to know whether your sudden change in style came from your bad boy?'
Veronica scoffed. 'Are you serious? And for the record; Norris isn't as much of a thug as people think, trust me! My change of style came way before I started to sit with him.'
'Yeah, I forgot about that… where from then, because Duncan left?'
'No actually.' She cleared her throat and used her arms to sit up, so that she was sitting on the sand. Logan sat up too, noticing the sudden seriousness in her eyes. He turned so that he was facing her directly.
'I was…Logan, I was…' she didn't feel the tear run down her left cheek, but she felt him wipe it away.
'Veronica, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to…'
'No,' she interrupted him. 'I do. I trust you.'
He took a hold of her hands and squeezed them comfortingly.
'I was drugged and raped at Shelley Pomeroy's party.'
She looked into Logan's eyes, where she saw shock, anger, outrage, sympathy and a whole bunch of other emotions lingering there.
'I'm so sorry,' he said simply. 'I wasn't there.'
'Don't be sorry, Logan. I was the one who made the decisions that led to…it.'
'From now on; I promise that I will have your back, Veronica. I never want to see you get hurt. Ever again.'
'Ditto,' she said, as she gave him a small, sad smile.
And it dawned on them both that theywere going to be okay. They may have lost people that meant a hell of a lot to them somewhere along the way, but they had gained a best friend, a better friend somewhere in-between. They had each other, and that was enough.
It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
A/N: Thanks for reading! I'm thinking of a sequel, depending on the feedback I recieve from this one; so, please tell me your opinion. Of course, the sequel takes a different course, it's a little more shippier.
Peace out.