I told Janet about this quote such a long time ago. Now I finally found the time and occasion to write the story.
Happy Birthday Janet
When I saw you
I fell in love, and
you smiled because you knew.
~William Shakespeare~
I use the few moments I know I have until the deposition starts to look over my notes once more. Opposing counsel isn't in the room yet. I look up when the door opens and the witness enters, accompanied by a woman. I look more closely and I know I'll never forget this moment when I first laid my eyes on you. I shake the witnesses hand briefly but my eyes are still on you while you sit down at the end of the table. I watch you open your portfolio and skim through some pages. You glance up as the door opens again and opposing counsel enters. You flash him a fleeting smile which makes my heart skip a beat as I watch the smile reach your eyes and they light up in a color I've never seen in someone's eyes.
"Mr. Florrick?" I reluctantly turn my head away from you to greet my colleague. My glance finds you again as soon as he sits down. This time your eyes meet mine, a trace of the smile still lingers on your lips and I have trouble reminding myself where I am as I hear opposing counsel ask "Should we start?".
"Sure." I nod and force my glance on my notes again.
The whole deposition passes by me in a blur. All I remember is that my gaze trails to you more than once, the smile I see on your face each time leaving me confused and making it more difficult for me to concentrate on my questions. I barely realize that the deposition is over when opposing counsel stands, a content smirk on his lips. I release a deep breath, bringing my papers in order, not noticing that you are leaving the room.
By the time I have put all my stuff into my briefcase and also left the room I can't see you anywhere. My glance wanders over a wall clock on my way to reception to ask for you and I realize I have to hurry if I want to make it in time to court where I have an arraignment scheduled next. I sigh deeply as I step into the elevator to get to my car. I shut my eyes as the doors close and see your face before me, a hint of a smile lingering on your lips.
I have escorted the witness to the elevator, deciding to hang with the receptionist for a while, hoping to see you again as you leave. I should've taken notes during this deposition but as it ended and I looked down on my notepad, I realized I hadn't written a word. I had watched you instead, smiling every time your glance found my way. I look down the corridor, I know I'll see you walking down any moment now when I hear someone call my name and I turn. One of the partners assistants needs my help and I rush towards her.
Once I'm done I hurry back but I can only see the elevator doors close, blocking my view of you slowly. I can see you smile, your eyes are closed and though I have missed you by seconds, I can't help but smile as well.
Two weeks later I'm back at the firm you work for and I catch myself looking for you the moment the elevator opens. Sadly I don't spot you. Not in the corridors and the place you sat in at the conference table the last time stays empty. After the meeting is over I walk over to reception and ask for you.
"Let me think. Two weeks ago? Which deposition was that?" she asks me, opening a drawer to her left.
I give her the information, adding a general description of you.
"Could it have been the intern? Alicia?" she finally looks up from her papers.
"I didn't get her name." I shrug but somehow know that I just heard your name for the first time.
"Wait here." she tells me and gets up from her chair, hurrying down a corridor. When she comes back a few minutes later she carries a picture in her hand.
"That her?" she shows me the photo, pointing you out in a crowd of people, standing around a birthday cake.
I just nod as I recognize you and sigh silently as she takes away the picture as I could've kept on staring at you smiling in it for hours.
"She's no longer here. I'm sorry." the receptionist tells me. "That was taken her last day here at the little get together we had for my birthday." she goes on about her birthday but I no longer listen. Not after she told me you don't work here anymore.
"She was with us on a summer internship, but school started again, so she left." she finally stops speaking and all I catch is her last sentence.
"Do you know which school?" I ask her, not having much hope she'll tell me even if she knows.
"Guess which here in Washington?" she winks at me and I smile at her thankfully.
I've been thinking about just showing up at your firm for a couple of days now. I knew your name and firm from the case file and I'd be lying if I hadn't left my dorm room more than once, determined to pay you a visit. But every time the fear that I only imagined the flirting takes over and my courage leaves me. Each time I give in, that little voice in my head keeps on telling me I should stop thinking about you, because I can't honestly believe that you'd really be interested in me. Then I usually manage to push all thoughts of you away for a while but sooner or later your eyes and smile appear again in my mind and I draw hope again as I can't believe I only imagined the way you looked at me and how it made me feel. So I fall asleep with you on my mind nearly every night, resolved the next day will be the day I finally set foot into the building you work in. But then I wake with that little voice in my mind telling me I'll make a fool of myself. Will I ever break this vicious cycle?
I catch myself changing my jogging route, going to new bars and cafes, all in an attempt to spend as much time near Georgetown campus as possible. Always looking out for you. A few times I was already sure I had finally found you, only to be disappointed. Thoughts about stopping to look for you creep into my mind but I can't give up yet. I'm thinking about which way I should use tonight for my run as I step out the courthouse during a break in my present trial to get a coffee and some fresh air.
I get in line at the coffee cart, letting my eyes wander around the square in front of the courthouse as I glimpse someone that could be you. I watch more closely but I already know it's you. My first impulse is to walk over to you but I seem to be frozen in my spot. Then you turn your head in my direction, our eyes meet and you smile. I feel a smile tug at my lips too. We just look at each other for a few moments and the world seems to stand still.
I enjoy the few rays of sunlight in front of the courthouse during the break of the trial I'm visiting with one of my classes from college. I take the last sip from my coffee when I feel that strange sensation that someone's watching me. But it doesn't feel weird rather like I've felt when you watched me all these weeks ago during that meeting. I turn my head and I somehow know that you are watching me before I really see you in that line at the coffee cart. I can't help but smile and see you return it. I'm not sure what to do so I just keep on smiling at you.
"Hey, what do you want?" I realize the guy behind the coffee cart means me and I turn around, shaking my head at him and stepping out of the line. I see you get up and we walk toward each other.
"Hi, you remember me?" you're the first to speak as I'm still searching for words, so I just nod.
"Are you here for a trial?" you go on asking me, as I still stare at you, your mossy eyes that I can't seem to look away from.
"Yes." I finally find my voice. "We just took a break and I got out here to get a coffee." I add, feeling stupid but I have no idea what else to tell you.
"I hope I'm not interrupting your break." you say, casting down your glance.
"No, you're not." I say quickly. "Actually I'm glad I met you here. I've been asking for you at your firm but you no longer worked there and all I got was your first name. Alicia, right?"
You look up again and nod. I search for surprise or anger in your eyes about my confession but you keep on looking at me, a warm smile playing on your lips.
"I'm glad we met here again, too." I admit, trying to calm my heartbeat that is racing since you told me you actually asked about me. I mentally kick myself for not just showing up at your firm like I was planning now for weeks.
"Peter!" I hear someone yelling your name behind us and see you look over my shoulder in that direction.
"I'm sorry. I need to go. Looks like the judge called us back in. That's my colleague." you gesture to the guy who called for you, a sad expression on your face.
"Sure, go." I tell you, hiding my own sadness as I'd loved to have spent more time with you.
"Can I see you again?" you ask me and I can see the hope in your eyes.
"Sure." I nod.
"Great, where can I find you?"
"Don't worry. I'll find you. Now go." I tell you and see confusion take over your features but finally you turn as your colleague calls out for you again. I watch you walk away, the sunlight playing in your dark hair. As you reach the door you turn again and once more we share a smile before you vanish inside the building.
I'm not sure what to think of your line about you finding me as I hurry back to the courtroom and while I should listen to another witness. I'm relieved as the judge calls it a day after the ASA finished his questioning and we don't need to do our cross until the next day. I step out into the hall, thinking that I need to get my hands on the transcript of today to read up about what I have missed while I've been thinking about meeting you again when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I turn and there you stand, a cup of coffee in your hand.
"You didn't get one during your break, so I thought…here you go." I say as I hand you the cup.
"Thank you, but can I take you out for a coffee that doesn't come in a paper cup?" you ask and I see that hope again in your eyes.
"That was the original plan, but then your court session ran that long and now I only have time to give you this before I have to leave for class. I'm sorry." I smile sadly at you and see your smile fade from your lips.
"Oh, but can I get your phone number, please? I really want to see you again. So, can I invite you to a coffee some time?" you look straight into my eyes, just like you did when I first saw you and once more my heart starts racing.
"You can, Peter." I tell you and your face lights up even more before you watch me confused.
"I got your name from that case file. I hope you don't mind." I admit before you can ask me how I know your name.
"Why would I mind?" you tell me in a low voice.
"Good, but I really need to go now. Bye, Peter." I turn to walk out of the building, though I'd love nothing more than to stay.
"Wait, you still haven't given me your number." I hurry after you, reaching for your shoulder. You turn and flash me another smile, a cheeky glimmer in your eyes I also saw earlier in front of the courthouse.
"Are you sure?" you wink at me, before you turn again and as I watch you walk away my glance falls on the cup I'm still holding. I look more closely and see some numbers written on it. I look up again and see you standing at the doors, smiling.
I hear the knock on the door and take a deep breath before I walk over to open it. I know it'll be you in front of the door to pick me up for our first, real date. We've met before again for a coffee then and there between my classes or during your lunch break since we ran into each other again a week ago. I like spending time with you and really look forward to this evening, where none of us has to keep a glance at the time because either of us has to be some place.
"Hi!" you greet me as I open the door. You step in and we hug briefly, your lips brushing over my cheek. The butterflies in my stomach swarm as they did when you kissed me on the cheek for the first time yesterday when we said goodbye.
"You ready?" you ask and I nod as I get my purse from the table next to the door. We head outside and I can feel your palm lightly on the small of my back. I sigh silently as the warmth from your hand I feel through my dress sends tingles up my spine.
The conversation flows pleasantly as we drive to the restaurant. In those few hours I have spent with you, we talked about so many different things, interest we have in common aside from the law. I really like spending time with you and though we've only known each other for a short time I already have trouble imagining my life without you. I can't help but peering over to you now and then and sometimes our eyes meet. The warmth I see in your smile makes me hope you feel the same way about me.
We talk about everything under the sun during dinner and as it is such a warm, late summer night you ask if I'd like to join you for a walk afterwards. I happily agree as I don't want the time with you to be over yet. You suggest to drive us over to Lincoln Memorial to go for a walk there. I only know this place by day when it is swamped with tourists but I have never been there at night. After we've parked you walk around the car to get my door and help me get out once more. But this time you won't let go of my hand like you did when we arrived at the restaurant. You look at me, your eyes asking me silently if it's ok that you hold my hand. I flash you a smile and squeeze your hand lightly with mine.
I'm glad you let me hold your hand while we walk past the memorial towards the reflection pool. I see a few people walking around there, couples like us and some tourists taking pictures from the stairs in front of the memorial. I steer us down towards the walkway that runs along directly by the water. We stroll around the pool, none of us talking, just enjoying each others company.
As we get back to the memorial, the steps are nearly deserted and we walk halfway up before sitting down. I look around and gasp softly as I take in the view before me with the illuminated Washington Monument and it's reflection in the surface of the water before us.
"Are you cold?" you ask me and I can hear the worry in your voice.
"No, just a little overwhelmed by the view." I state, tilting my head towards the scene before us and I guess I see a little disappointment in your eyes.
"What would you have done if I had been cold?" I tease you, while my thumb caresses the back of your hand.
"I could've done this." you whisper while you let go of my hand to put your arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer so my head gets to rest on your chest.
"And what keeps you from doing it now?" I peer up into his face as I feel his grip loosen.
"Nothing?" you murmur as you pull me tighter against yourself as I let my one hand wander over your back and reach for your other hand, interlacing our fingers. We sit silently for a while and I can't imagine another place I'd rather be than here, being held by you, listening to your heartbeat. Eventually you start caressing my upper arm with your fingertips and I feel you place a kiss on top of my hair. I lift my head to look at you and our faces are inches apart. Our glances meet and I can see all my feelings for you reflected in your eyes. You lean in closer and I shut my eyes as our lips touch. The contact is soft and brief as you break the kiss to search my eyes. I let my fingertips run up your neck and through your hair, drawing you closer again. Your lips brush against mine, tenderly once more at first, but soon I feel you tease my lower lip and the kiss deepens. Your fingers stroke my jaw line tenderly as we eventually break for air, our foreheads touching. I feel light-headed, but not only from the lack of oxygen, but from all the thoughts and emotions rushing through me as well. I have no idea where this with you is going but one thought is crystal clear in my mind; the certainty that I don't want to spend another day without having you close and that this moment will stay in my heart. Forever.