Authoresses' Notes: Welcome back everybody! Gord here, and as Freg has decided to go on holiday, we are joined here today with a friend who wishes to call herself 'DP-lover' Welcome to the show!

Yeah hello everybody! Please enjoy this crazy wacked up story that we have put together, written by Gord and DP-lover!

And Harry's craziness is intentionally Out of Character! XD

Chapter One: 'The Evil Begins…'

One day Lord Voldemort was sitting in his cauldron of doom, at the bottom of a deep, dark well. He was concocting an evil plan, as usual.

"That Harry Potter… he gets so many girls..," Voldemort fumed, "all because of his -slightly– more beautiful face than mine!" And Voldemort spent the next few minutes drooling over Harry…

">cough cough> Ah yes, ahhhmmm... I must do something, something EVIL to stop him, and then, hahahha! Then those girls won't be able to resist my irresistible charm! Mwahahha!"

XxxxXxxxX

Meanwhile, little Harry Potter, (not so little anymore), being 17 and in his 7th and final year at Hogwarts, sat in his dormitory.

"Hmmm…. no, not that one… no, Katie's much too fat… not Parvati… too ugly…. hmmm…" he muttered to himself, crossing various names off a long sheet of paper. Suddenly Hermione stormed into the room, just as Harry came across her name.

"Nah…" said Harry, and scribbled her name out.

"Wha-what?" stuttered Hermione stupidly, "Why did you cross my name off your attractive girls list?"

"Because, my dear, you are not attractive, of course," replied Harry coolly, applying his lip balm in front of the mirror, "My wonderfully deceased father, Dumbledore, once advised me that I must wed an attractive girl and, regretfully, the only one in Gryffindor I have found, is Snape."

"But, but…. YOU BITCH!" screamed Hermione, and dashed out of the room crying.

"Ah, screw it," said Harry heartlessly, "Now, where did those glasses get to?"

Harry began rummaging in his closet.

"Ah yes, I must have left them outside after that rather interesting game of 'Quidditch' with Ron yesterday…"

So Harry strolled out onto the Quidditch Pitch, and almost immediately spotted a pair of glasses, lying quite forgotten upon the lawn.

Putting them on happily, Harry skipped off to meet Hagrid for a cup of tea.

Hahahaha! Next chappie will be up soon! Plz review, peoples!

Thanks for reading the first chapter of our story, Harry Potter and the John Lennon Glasses! Cya next time!

- Gord and DP-Lover -