The tempo of Shikamaru's heartbeat raises at the rate his hands turns clammy, which is all much too fast for his liking; he's barely been there a minute, pacing slightly back and forth, but it feels like he's been running for an hour and the muscles on his face are decidedly pinched. Subtly he wipes his hands off on his pants before he sticks them in his pockets to hide the twitching.
With a bang the door slams open, colliding with the peeling grey wallpaper of the hallway wall. Shikamaru barely succeeds in stopping the squeak from escaping his throat, which is a blessing, but he fails to disguise the way his whole body twitches violently at the sudden noise. He glowers at Naruto reflexively.
Scratching the back of his head and yawning, still wearing his pyjamas even though it is approaching noon, Naruto looks barely awake and doesn't give any sort of reaction to Shikamaru being a tad more jumpy than normal.
"Shikamaru?" Naruto squints at him, obviously confused. Shikamaru really shouldn't find that look as adorable as he does. "What are you doing here?"
To be honest, he's asking himself the same question. There is no way that is going to go well and should it go bad (which it will, it will go so bad) he stands to lose a lot he'd rather not having to consider but has mulled over for a month pretty much nonstop. He can't sleep, that's how bad it's gotten.
Still, nothing good will come from this. Shikamaru knows that. He also finds that he doesn't actually care. Or he does care, he cares too much, but he can't stand the thought of keeping silent and not doing anything about it any longer, and so he's standing here outside Naruto's door and quickly approaching having a nervous breakdown.
No biggie. He just has a confession to make.
Clearing his throat, Shikamaru stares at a freckle just to the left on Naruto's eyes. "Can I come in?"
"Sure?" Tilting his head he looks past Shikamaru. "Just you?"
Shikamaru nods. "Yeah." He doesn't want any witnesses to this.
Yawning again, little tears gathering at the corners of his eyes, Naruto steps aside and waves him in. He wipes them away with the back of his hands. "Tea? I might have tea." Naruto frowns. "I should have tea."
Without further ado he walks into the kitchen and starts rummaging through his drawers as he mutters under his breath. He has to stand on his tiptoes to reach the uppermost shelves, Naruto never did go through much of a growth spurt, and he's leaning precariously enough that Shikamaru is not surprised when he knocks a pot over that falls to the ground by way of Naruto's finger. The sound as it bounces is uncomfortably loud, and Naruto curses and sucks the finger into his mouth while glaring at the offending kitchenware. Shikamaru is quite certain he's been forgotten.
Cautiously stepping closer, taking care not to make bodily contact, Shikamaru reaches over Naruto's shoulder for the case marked clearly with 'tea' and then steps away quickly. The case is worn, metal lid a little rusty and the colours of the flowers faded. With the out of the way position, Naruto probably isn't much of a tea drinker.
Naruto blinks and as if sensing Shikamaru's thoughts he shrugs. "I ran out of coffee."
He takes the case and moves over to start the kettle. While busying himself with the search for clean cups (Naruto's kitchen is perhaps cleaner than Shikamaru has expected, it is by no means clean and his mother wouldn't be caught dead in it) Naruto seems to once again forget about Shikamaru being there. His eyes are droopy, his movement sluggish, and he's weirdly quiet for a guy that is regularly loud enough to be heard all the way across the village.
Shikamaru shifts his weight between his feet. Nervousness starts building up yet again, not only from his own internal fears but from the way that Naruto acts differently from how he expects, and all the plans that he had spent the last month formulating disappears like dandelions seeds in the wind.
Taking a liberty he drags out a kitchen chair and sits down; to stop the shifting if nothing else.
The kettle whistles and Naruto pours the warm water into the cups and hands one over to Shikamaru. He doesn't sit down but rather leans against counter. Raising an eyebrow, Shikamaru looks between him and the remaining chair but Naruto waves him off. "If I sit down I'll fall asleep."
With the way that he keeps yawning, Shikamaru can certainly believe that. He grimaces, unease and guilt creeping through his veins. "Should I come back later?" He doesn't want to be an inconvenience.
Naruto's eyes widen slightly in surprise before he laughs good-naturedly. "Nah, man, it's good you came. I'm meeting Sakura at thirteen hundreds and she'll kill me if I'm late." He takes a sip from his tea and swears as he burns himself, pouting at his cup as if it was to blame for his misfortune.
"Well," Shikamaru fiddles with the ear of the cup, turning it around in his hands. "If you say so." The veins of the wooden table, the chipped edges and coffee coloured rings and what Shikamaru is pretty certain is the remains of a piece of gum are suddenly very interesting.
Shikamaru jerks back when he feels Naruto's wide palm on his forehead and Naruto's frowning down at him with concern, no longer all the way across the kitchen a safe distance away but suddenly so very close. The blood pools in Shikamaru's cheeks unbidden and his breath hitches.
"Shika, you all right? You're looking a little peaked."
Shikamaru nods dumbly. "I'm fine," he says in a strangled voice and pulls at the neckline of his shirt. It's uncomfortably tight.
Naruto seems doubtful of that and Shikamaru's struggling to come up with an explanation, a reason for his definitely weird behaviour, preferably before he dies of mortification. "I, uh." Shikamaru looks to his left, scrambling. The picture stalls him, a single photograph on an otherwise bare wall. "I have something to tell you."
Blinking, Naruto leans back slightly. "Oh?"
It's startling how young they look. The photo is only three years old, in the scope of things there's only an infantile amount of time separating today from the day it was taken, but so much has changed. Team seven is not who they were at the beginning of things. They're surpassing their predecessors, climbing just a bit higher with every step they take.
In comparison Shikamaru is only treading water, floating where the tide takes him passively.
"Yeah." He takes a deep breath and meets Naruto's blue eyes head on. His stomach has disappeared somewhere beneath the floor and Shikamaru feels almost lightheaded, high on possibilities and a healthy dose of fear.
He doesn't want to simply tread water anymore.
"Yeah."