Why don't I feel alone? Everything in recent history should lead me towards depression and angst, yet I still feel as if everything will be okay. When my Angel vanished from me, I should have been filled with both rage and sorrow. When my Heart left me, I should have felt complete and utter disappointment in myself. When I look at the path I've traveled, it should have been longer, harder, more painful, and more ambiguous. I have walked and run many miles to reach this place I stand, leaving me quite awestruck at how long the journey felt but how short it seems in my memory.
I put on a brave face many times and kept walking forward, forced to repair an ever decaying mask constantly. I fought battles and faced my demons only to realize that the fighting has a bit more to go. Growing stronger with each passing encounter, growing wiser with every inflicted pain, soon I will become the man I need to be. I might need some help along this serpentine road, and I am finally humble enough to accept it when necessary.
This painful journey continues with a single step, one after the other I will become stronger, one after the other I will approach the destination. When the time comes for the final fanfare to sound and I step back into the world, no armor around my body, no walls around my heart, the end of this painful quest will simply mark the beginning of my most arduous task yet. My burden will be heavier than ever, but I won't mind it. I will be stronger, I will shoulder that charge gladly knowing only I can complete it.
Time will not stop for me, the many pieces of me must hurry to reconcile. My duty will not wait forever, but until no other path is left for me, I will bide my time, I will heal, I will temper my resolve. Until then, I will continue to float in this endless, tumultuous stream of memories, light, and infinitely abundant life.