Chapter One
A Summer of Surprises
"Harry Potter!"
The cry came careening up the stairs of Number 4 Privet Drive. It was the start of summer vacation, and Harry was freshly returned to the Dursleys from his fourth year at Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. It had been a miserable week. The Dursleys were not at all happy to have him back. In their opinion, he was a freak. No mention of magic or Hogwarts was allowed in their house, and Harry was routinely punished for the crime of simply existing. Harry sighed and, with a definite glumness, went downstairs to see what the Dursleys had in store for him today.
"Yes, Uncle Vernon," Harry said, facing his uncle across the table. Petunia was serving Vernon and Dudley breakfast, and Dudley was looking forlornly at his fathers' plate. Vernon had decided as soon as Dudley had got back from Smeltings, that the diet the whole family was on last summer was going to have to go. Dudley, who was still bigger than a good-sized cow, was still having grapefruit for breakfast. Petunia gestured to a plate with a much smaller portion of grapefruit on it for Harry.
"I'll have none of your usual larking about this summer, boy," Vernon had growled as soon as Harry had stepped into the house after arriving a week ago. He had meant it, too, even as Harry protested that he never larked. Vernon seemed intent to punish Harry for the Ton Tongue Toffee incident of last year. He looked furiously at Harry this particular morning.
"I will be putting you to work cleaning out the shed today. Well! Get to it!" yelled Vernon. Harry went outside, and began the task of stacking Dudley's bikes, organizing the gardening tools, and all the various other things that needed to be done.
Over the next two months, Harry was put to task gardening and doing housework for Petunia, cleaning the basement and doing repairs on the house for Vernon, and being the usual attempted target as a punching bag for Dudley. Harry was hard to catch, though. He was the seeker on the house Quidditch team at school, and if he was quick enough to avoid a bludger, he was more that quick enough to avoid Dudley and his gang. Harder to avoid, though, was his uncle. Small things were happening, which Harry could not readily explain to his uncle. The Dursley's had taken every precaution to keep Dudley from sneaking sweets up to his room, but Petunia kept finding them there. Since they could not have gotten there by themselves, and since they knew Dudley was not bringing them, Harry must be at fault. Anything unexplainable was Harry's fault.
"I don't know how they got there!" Harry protested, when a box of pastries Vernon had brought home went missing. The box had been found under Dudley's bed two days later.
"You never liked my Duddykins!" wailed Petunia. She was convinced that his dislike for Dudley was causing him to magic the treats to Dudley's room in an effort to keep him fat. His protests of innocence were not assisted by the arrival of a number of owls from the Improper use of Magic Office. The first was almost identical to the letter he had gotten from Mafalda Hopkirk in the summer before his second year. He had received a second owl the next day that was almost the same as the first, but with a more exasperated tone. He had written her back to say he had not performed any magic, but another owl had arrived today. This post was far snippier, and concerned yet another spell.
"Mr. Potter,
We have observed the third levitation charm in as many days being performed at your place of residence. We have no choice but to enforce the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery. As you have contested performing these spells, an investigator will be dispatched to Number 4 Privet drive tomorrow to discuss these transgressions. Please have your wand ready for inspection promptly at 9:00 AM.
Yours Sincerely,
Mafalda Hopkirk
Mafalda Hopkirk
IMPROPER USE OF MAGIC OFFICE
Ministry of Magic
Uncle Vernon was not pleased to know that an "investigator" would be arriving at his house.
"What do you mean?" he hissed. "Another one of you freaks… abnormal… AARGH!" Vernon screamed with frustration. He could see no recourse but to allow it. Who knew what the freaks would do if he didn't let the inspector in? A plan began to form. His purple face took on a more thoughtful expression. What if he told the inspector what a burden Harry was to his hard working family? Would he be able to get compensation? Would he be able to get rid of Harry for good?
At nine the next morning, Harry was waiting nervously in his room. He heard the doorbell ring, and started downstairs to meet the inspector. Uncle Vernon had opened the door, wearing his best suit. The inspector reminded Harry strongly of Mr. Crouch. Dressed in a suit even better than his uncles, and his mustache impeccably trimmed, he looked nothing like a wizard. Uncle Vernon was stunned. He had no idea that a wizard wore clothes like these.
"Good morning," said the inspector in a clipped, no-nonsense tone. "I am Bernard Montgomery with the Improper use of Magic Office. I assume you are Vernon Dursley, legal guardian of Harry Potter?" Without waiting for an answer, Montgomery swept into the house. "Where is Mr. Potter?" He asked.
"Here," said Harry. Vernon looked up and down the street to see if anyone had noticed the arrival of the inspector. Satisfied, he closed the door.
"As you know, Mr. Potter, our office has observed the use of magic in this house. Three levitation charms have been performed. This is very serious, as it might attract the attention of the muggles. We understand that your guardians here know of the existence of witches and wizards, but no exceptions can be made." Mr. Montgomery lectured. His tone of voice made it clear that despite Harry's letter to the ministry proclaiming his innocence, Montgomery did not believe him.
"But I haven't done any magic!" protested Harry. "This happened right before my second year as well, and it wasn't me then, either. A house elf named Dobby smashed a pudding…"
"That is not my concern, Mr. Potter." Montgomery interrupted. "I am here strictly for the three occurrences of this week. You say you didn't perform any charms? We will soon see. May I please inspect your wand?"
Harry handed his wand over to Montgomery, and the inspector looked it over. Vernon was looking extremely nervous. Montgomery took his own wand out of an inner pocket of his suit coat and placed it end to end with Harry's. "Priori Incantato!" he said, and a ghostly ball of light was emitted from Harry's wand. It was sickly green, and covered with what looked like boils. "The Furnunculus Curse!" exclaimed Montgomery. "But our intelligence said the last magic performed here was a levitation charm!"
"I told you. I didn't do it!" said Harry. "I used the Furnunculus Curse on the train home from Hogwarts.
"Why?" asked Montgomery. He was looking at Harry with kinder eyes now, and it seemed that he was reconsidering something.
"Umm.. Well… I.. I" Stammered Harry.
"Nevermind," said Montgomery. "I'm sure nothing came of it." He handed Harry back his wand. "I find it most interesting that you did not perform these charms, however. I wonder if I could examine the rest of the family?" he asked. Vernon turned purple.
"Absolutely not!" he bellowed. "I won't have it! Not in my house! Out! OUT!" Vernon was incensed that the freak would just calmly ask to do some curse on his family! "You will not touch my family!" he yelled. "I'll call the police!" he added.
Montgomery looked shocked. He pointed his wand at Vernon and muttered "Petrificus Totalus." A mist of light erupted from his wand, and Vernon went rigid. It was the total body bind. "Calm yourself," said Montgomery. He waved his wand over Vernon and muttered some incomprehensible words. "No, not here," he said. Montgomery then turned to Petunia and said, "This won't hurt a bit, Ma'am." Petunia went white and stuttered angrily, but Montgomery ignored her. With a wave of his wand, he muttered some more. "Well, there is a slight bit of talent there, but not enough to cause..." he muttered. Looking around, he asked Harry "Is there anyone else in the house?"
"My cousin Dudley," Harry said.
"Call him down, please," said Montgomery. Harry did so, and when Dudley had come down, Montgomery turned to him. He raised his wand, and Dudley's eyes went wide. His hands went to his bottom and clamped down on as much of it as he could. He was so large that he couldn't cover all of himself, but he kept them there. Harry smirked a bit, knowing that Dudley was fearful of getting another pigs tail like Hagrid had given him before Harry had left for Hogwarts for his first year. Montgomery waved his wand, and muttered his mutters for longer than he did for anyone else. When he was finished, his eyes were about as wide as Dudley's were. "Well, there seems to be two wizards in this house!" he proclaimed.