Concentrate
I don't own HP; if you recognize it, it ain't mine! Audios lawyers!
…
The August sun burned brightly as two teens tried their best to wake up a third. He was in a deep slumber, and had been for a long time. As the hour approached noon the two felt it was time for their friend to finally see the light of day and wake the hell up.
James Potter the leader of the group, stood at six foot even, although if you asked his friends you would get an entirely different answer of five foot nine. His messy hair was untamable and his hazel eyes were framed by wire rimmed glasses. Muscles from quidditch toned his thin body, and he was proud to show it.
Along with James was his best friend, Sirius Black, the young man who felt the need to sleep the day away. He had a tendency to snore rather loudly and mumble in his sleep, much to the displeasure (although, on the rare occasion, pleasure) of his dorm mates. Sirius had long curly hair that dangled in his stormy grey eyes. He too was thin and toned from quidditch and slightly taller than James. Black was James' partner in crime, doing everything with him. Sirius was often considered the dumb blonde of the group for his lack of common sense and most essential brain cells. When it came to magic however, it seemed that his brain worked at full function.
Remus Lupin. The third, and in his opinion, the most important, handsome, intelligent, humble, and magically gifted. He was the brains of the operations. And the rational person of the group. Shaggy, sandy blonde hair sat atop of his head while his baby blue eyes revealed little about his character. Despite being not playing quidditch like his friends, Remus stayed fit by his monthly transformations. Remus was proud to say he was the tallest of the group, standing at six foot three inches.
Peter Pettigrew, who was currently babysitting his great aunt Muriel, was short man, only five foot five. Peter was not thin or toned like the other three, and was quite lazy. Blonde hair and bright blue eyes made up his tiny, almost rat like, facial features. Peter was the decoy for all of the pranks, and on many occasion the test subject. He never really minded, it was all in good fun and he knew he wasn't that good at magic. He was however very good at out eating both James and Sirius. The three held monthly competitions and the current champion was Peter with a near perfect record.
Today was a very important day in the House of Potter. It marked three weeks until term began again and also that they'd gone a solid month with nothing spectacular happening. One would assume that a summer with three of four marauders would be filled with chaos and endless pranks. One would mostly be right, given that in years past the home was nearly destroyed by the three week mark.
This summer had been different. The boys had hit a bit of a road block in their pranking ways, having come up with not a single idea worthy of executing. Neither had they done anything interesting or fun. In fact most of the summer had been filled with two marauders pain-stakingly trying to wake the third and a constant barrage of owls to the fourth member.
Today Remus and James had been unsuccessful in their attempts at waking up Sirius. So far they had poked and prodded him, slapped him, used the water trick, and taken away his blankets. It seemed as if nothing would wake the boy up.
James glanced at Remus who was trying very hard not to burst out laughing at Sirius, who was mumbling things in his sleep. It was a common occurrence for him. James, Remus, and Peter made time to listen to his ramblings before they would wake him up. Today however he had been going on for hours.
"No Dumblebee I don't want edible pencils… Peter stop trying to snog me you great lump… Minnie I don't swing that way… PETER STOP TRYING TO SNOG ME!" Remus nearly fell to the ground holding his mouth as Sirius continued. "I got a Twinkie… it is yellow and spongy… I assure you professor, if I were drunk I wouldn't feel the urge to snog you… AH FLYING TOAST CRUSTS ARE ATTACKING ME!" Sirius let out a long snort before rolling over.
James was in a similar state as Remus; hunched over holding his mouth in an attempt not to laugh. The mutters had rapidly become more random as the day wore on, and neither boy could begin to imagine what exactly Sirius was dreaming of, nor were they sure they wanted to. It was normal for this kind of behavior, the two would sadly admit. Sirius had a long history of random fits of insanity. After a moment James regained his composure and stood. "Remus are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Remus nodded his head and let out a final laugh before straightening up. "HOLY SHIT! SIRIUS! SNAPE IS STEALING YOUR TOAST WHILE WEARING A BRA AND PANTIES!"
Remus gave a satisfied grin as Sirius jumped out of bed and ran to the door, promptly running into the door. Sirius stood and opened the door with a jerk while muttering something about a camera and stupid solid oak doors and rubbed his head furiously. James and Remus quickly followed and half way down the stairs they met an angry looking Sirius.
"You prats! He wasn't wearing a bra and panties! Just the usual vampire attire as he snogged Mrs. P senseless!" Sirius had a straight face and angry eyes as he huffed past his friends.
James, who was looking worried, began to say something before Remus cut him off. "Snape isn't here moron. Besides, your mum clearly has better taste than a morbid count. If anything she would have his head under the faucet trying to wash away the permanent grease. Now let's go make sure he didn't go back to sleep."
James visibly relaxed and shoved Remus for calling him a moron. "Oi! BLACK YOU BETTER NOT BE SLEEPING OR I WILL LET PETER SNOG YOU!" He hollered as he ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time. Remus followed, rolling his eyes.
…
A while later Remus and James made their way downstairs looking for Sirius. After they had finally got him to stay awake he had headed to the shower. While he did that the two made use of the time to go and check how warm the pool was. James had refused to step foot outside saying the humidity would "make my hair go crazy!" Remus scoffed and said his hair was already crazy.
Remus shoved James out the door and they made their way over to the pool.
"You check it." James said with a mysterious glint in his eye. Remus shook his head.
"Sorry mate, its your house and your pool. House rules state that the host must do normal chores and the manual labor, unless said host's parents state otherwise."
James glared at him and bent down and jabbed his hand in the pool. The water was borderline hot on the surface.
"You know James, you should check to see how it is under the surface." Before James could register what that meant Remus gave him a swift push into the pool. Moments later James emerged sputtering to see Remus was sitting on the ground laughing at him.
"Oh you think it's funny do you? How's about a big old wet shake?" James jumped out of the water and in mid leap a large Stag stood in place. The stage dipped its ahead and shook it furiously to get some of the excess water out. Remus cringed and towards the door. James transformed back into himself and ran after him. "You just wait, Lupin. I'll be your worst nightmare yet!" James claimed as he closed the door behind him.
"I highly doubt that. My worst nightmare is seeing Peter actually snogging Sirius. Or maybe it's Lily dating you. I don't really know, they both hold equal amounts of terror." Remus shrugged his shoulders innocently and continued. "Come on you great oaf, let's go make sure Sirius didn't drown himself in the shower by falling asleep."
That's what brought them to the hunt that they were currently on. After searching the whole house the last option was the Kitchen.
"You know, it would have been smarter to check there first. He has a fetish for food." James reasoned as Remus pushed open the door. Sure enough Sirius was sitting in the kitchen, staring intently at a carton of orange juice. Remus coughed, but Sirius didn't advert his eyes.
"Why are you staring at the O.J. carton?" he asked his friend, not really wanting to know the answer.
"It says concentrate."
"Merlin's pants you moron! That is how it was made!" James said in an exasperated tone. It was clear that he couldn't believe his friend had actually time staring at a carton.
"Oh! That makes more sense than staring at it for hours. I thought by now it should be moving or something. Like a magical carton. Oh! I know we could-" Remus cut him off with a swift shake of the head.
"No."
"Aw come on! You don't even kn-"
"No."
Sirius huffed and flicked the carton. "Prick."
James rolled his eyes at the two, "I'm still astonished that you actually admitted to staring at a carton. Even Peter isn't that daft!"
"Actually, he wouldn't know how to pronounce 'concentrate.'" Sirius said with a serious tone. "Besides, I'm not fully awake. You can't hold this against me. It was you two prudes that wouldn't let me sleep an extra hour."
"Point to Sirius, then followed by me revoking it. We let you sleep in for four extra hours." Remus took a seat at the table and snatched the carton of juice from Sirius. He proceeded to take a large drink and handed it back to him. "Now James, Sirius, let's get the plans ready." Remus stood up for a moment and grabbed his chair and spun it around so he could sit with the back of the chair under his chin.
"I was thinking we could totally do this retro thing." Sirius began eager to continue.
"Scrap it."
"Bu-"
"Scrap it. Last time it ended up with a trans-gender seventh year and one pissed off transfiguration teacher." James laughed at Remus' calm voice. True enough, last time they had tried a retro themed prank a seventh year male woke to a seventh year female body…parts. Professor McGonagall was pissed to say the least.
"We could always charm muffins to attack the first years." Sirius continued.
"Or flying toast crusts." Remus said without missing a beat. James had to hand it to him, he had a quick wit. Sirius turned red in the face before looking defeated and James let out the bark of a laugh he had held in and suggested,
"All first years get glued to their seats. Third years will recite 'I Feel Pretty' or some other rubbish. Fifth years will claim their undying love fore socks and Minnie. Seventh years will have to walk on their hands for an hour. Anyone in between get a good show."
"I don't know. How about…" Remus trailed off as he pulled a rather large water gun from his robes. In three seconds flat he had James and Sirius soaked while he pumped the gun and shot jet streams of water at his friends.
James ducked for cover under the table while Sirius began to chase Remus around the kitchen, which then turned into a full-fledged war outside; complete with masks and warrior names. Well sort of. James watched as the two ran out to the yard. Taking that opportunity he rummaged through the kitchen cabinet and began to quickly fill up water balloons.
"WARRIOR PADFOOT WILL OWN YOU!" Sirius claimed as he dove behind a tree.
"WARRIOR MOONY STATES OTHERWISE!" Remus called back from the same tree, but in the branches. Remus dumped a bucket of water he had conjured up on Sirius and Sirius shot a stream of water at Remus with his wand. It was a success, Remus was knocked to the ground.
"WARRIOR PRONGS SAYS YOU ARE ALL PANSIES!" James cried bombarding the duo with endless water balloons.
This went on for a good half hour before Remus raised a white flag signaling his defeat as well as Sirius'.
…
"Hey James! Can you put more cola in this?" Remus asked his friend the next day. The three were holed up in James' room trading stories and trying to decide what to do.
"What shall I fill it up with?" James asked without glancing at Remus.
"Piss. What do you think?" Remus groaned and grabbed the bottle himself.
"Sorry, wasn't thinking."
"That was obvious."
"Let's go to the mall." Sirius suggested. He rolled onto his stomach and propped his head up on his hands.
"What?" James asked confused. "The nearest one is like in London. Three hours away."
"How old are we?" Sirius countered.
"Seventeen…OH! Apparate… Gotcha."
"So to the mall?" Remus asked. "Are you sure? You two aren't exactly the most muggle friendly."
"I beg to differ. We are too muggle friendly." James defended himself oblivious to the fact Remus had reasons.
"Fourth year, summer, August 3rd. You asked a muggle how to pronounce microwave, Sirius. Last winter, James asked what soccer was. When the man refused to explain you called him a few words with the word 'muggle' in the sentence ten times. Two years ago, you were all excited about getting a 'Smelly-visionater' James. Need I go on?"
"No. But we'll be on our best behavior." Sirius promised. Remus agreed, but regretted doing so.
…
"DAMN IT!" Sirius yelped. It was the third shop they went to that day, and each one something happened to Sirius. First shop he was trying on hats. While heading to the mirror he tripped and hit a rack of hats. The rack fell on top of him and caused Sirius to blurt out various curse words.
Shop two they were trying on clothes. On shirt got stuck on his head as he tried to take it off. He began to flail around madly and ended up knocking himself out. The manager had to open the door and James had to secretly revive him via wand.
"Concentrate Sirius! How many fingers is the manager holding up?" James had told him.
"Four." He was right, the manager was holding up four.
"Good, you still have a few brain cells left."
Now they were trying on shoes. Sirius was using a device to measure shoe size when his big toe got stuck. James did all he could to keep from laughing, and resorted to stuffing his fist in his mouth to muffle the sound. Remus had tears in his eyes as he pulled the device off Sirius' foot.
From there they headed to the food court, where Sirius insisted on getting fries while Remus and James got pizza. Sirius paid for his fries and sat opposite Remus and stuffed a hand full of hot, greasy fries into his mouth. His eyes began to water while his face grew red. Looking around wildly he spotted the nearest trash can and ran over to it so he could spit out the fries. "Son of a mother fucking bitch on heroine! Merlin! DAMN!"
Remus rolled his eyes and swiped a fry. The outburst had caused all eyes on Sirius who was looking angry and glaring at the people. "Oh sod off you bloody mug-"
"SIRIUS! I think we should head home James." James nodded and pulled a resisting Sirius towards the bathroom.
"Sirius if you don't stop acting like a bloody four year old, I will knock you out and drag you home, then lock you in the bathroom." Remus threatened after Sirius began to curse more. Sirius shot him a nasty look but said nothing.
"Good dog," He muttered with a grin. Sirius growled and jumped at him, tackling him to the ground with more force than necessary. There was a short scuffle while James decided whether or not to break it up. Up ahead someone was yelling and James could make out a rent-a-cop heading their way. With a sigh he bent over and grabbed each boy by the ear.
"Come on children, time to go home." He hissed. Remus swung at him but James easily dodged it. "Oi! Do you want to be arrested?!"
Remus deflated, "Not really on my to do list, no."
"Thought not," James said as he released their ears. "Quick, the bathrooms just up a head. Apparate to Diagon Alley so we can get some ice cream."
…
Oh. My. God." Remus muttered later that night. Once again they were in James' room, but this time they had pixie sticks and kool-aid mix. James had the bright idea of snorting pixie sticks.
Now, Remus hadn't thought they would really do it, but sure enough they did. Sirius took the cherry kool-aid mix and James the orange pixie stick. Simultaneously they took a big snort and began to cry in pain.
James was crying and Sirius cussing like mad. "It BURNS!" They shouted grabbing their noses. At first Remus was concerned, but that concern evolved into amusement, which led to pain in his sides from the laughter.
Minutes later Remus was hit by a pillow. Glancing around he concluded that it was Sirius that threw the pillow.
"Okay, seriously guys. Why is it you both act like idiots?" Remus inquired as he pulled himself up onto his bed.
"Guys; they just wanna have fun." Was the reply from Sirius.
"I know four languages. Stupid; English; Sarcasm; Humor. As you can see stupidity and idiocity are the same, and therefore stupid, being one of my languages, is how I act." James reasoned.
"Didn't know you knew such complex words James. I must give you a gold star!" Remus flicked his wand at James and a gold star appeared on his forehead.
James threw a pixie stick at him in response before moving over to his bed. "I know this sounds girly, but Truth or Dare anyone?"
"You are right. Totally girly and a bit cliché. No matter let's play." Sirius looked anxious as Remus preformed the sponge spell on the floor.
"To make it soft," He explained, "now, Sirius do you still have that truth serum we concocted last year?"
In the Marauder's sixth year they had produced a truth serum similar to Veritaserum. It all started when they had decided they were bored over Christmas break. So James thought they should alter Veritaserum and Remus got the ingredients and such. Actually it was more like Sirius breaking, entering, and stealing the ingredients in the Potions Lab. They spent the rest of the holiday changing various parts of the potion's preparations and ingredients. After a lot of work they had the 'Marauders Know All' as Sirius dubbed it.
"Yes I do. Lemme get it." Sirius hopped up from the ground and made his way to his trunk. After rummaging around for a while he let out a triumphant yell and jumped over his bed, landing across from James.
"Nice. Now one sip should do right?" Remus nodded and they all took a sip. A cool feeling washed over the trio of friends.
"James you first." Remus suggested. James shrugged before saying.
"Okay. However, if you refuse to do a dare you have to answer a question with no restrictions. The rules are simple. For truth the questions cannot be about grotesque events or anything of the like. Dares cannot be sexual or too gross." The others nodded in agreement and James continued.
"Sirius truth or dare?"
"I'll be a man. Dare." James' face lit up.
"I dare you to go steal some of my mum's clothes and put them on instead of your own." Sirius' grumbled but stood up and left. Ten minutes later there was a loud shriek and Sirius lunging into the room.
"Man I didn't know you could scream like that." Remus said, voice cracking at his friends appearance. Sirius was in a bright pink, strapless gown that ended at his knees. He had on a bright blue bra on top of the gown; straps and all. As for shoes he had on three inch high dark green stilettos.
"Your dad nearly saw me. That and he was naked." Sirius shuddered as James laughed harder.
"All right, your turn."
"Remus, truth or dare."
"Truth my dear woman." Sirius shot him a look before asking him his question.
"Who are you crushing on."
Remus fought the urge to speak, but gave in and said in a mono tone, "May Cullen."
"Ohh! Somebody likes May!" Sirius and James said in unison.
"Bugger off. James truth or dare."
"Dare me."
"I dare you to charm toast crust to fly around Sirius' head for the next hour." Sirius began to protest but James followed through and charmed the toast crusts.
"I get the feeling you are punishing me instead!" Sirius exclaimed.
"Maybe, maybe not," Remus replied, knowing it was useless. The truth serum had worked, and from that point on he was going to be teased mercilessly. "James you're up, truth or dare?"
"Dare."
Sirius grinned widely, "Guess who gets to wax their legs and put on this dress?"
James groaned, "Not after your sweaty arse!"
"You know the rules, James." Remus reminded him.
"No way in sodding hell."
"Fine, then you must answer a truth with no restrictions."
James paled and thought for a moment. With a hesitant nod he replied, "Fine, what do I have to answer?"
Remus and Sirius exchanged a look. "Is it, or is it not true, that you shacked up with that Slytherin chick, Melinda Brown?"
James gulped and forced his mouth shut. Unfortunately the serum kicked in and a small "No." squeaked out.
Both of his friends raised their eyebrows, "Wait! If you lied about this, than have you been lying about them all?!" Sirius exclaimed.
James flipped him off as the serum caused him to say 'yes'. "Bloody wanker! That's cheating!"
"You're a virgin!" Was his reply.
Remus shook his head, "Sirius!"
"I'm just stating the truth!"
James growled, "Remus, truth or dare?"
"Dare." James' eyes lit up with a mischievous glint.
"I dare you to send a howler confessing your love to May."
"Oh you're a gigantic mother fu-"
"So is that a yes?" Sirius asked hopefully?
"No Sherlock it's a no!" Remus got up and headed out of the room to fulfill his dare.
…
A week passed in a boring manor. Not much happened between the truth or dare game and today, except the long letter from May replying to Remus's howler. She confessed she too had a liking for him, and the two were currently going out, much to Sirius' displeasure.
Today however was a remarkably cool day for August. James insisted there was rain coming, but the sky was clear of most clouds. Around noon the tree decided to play a game of tag to pass time. James was it and Sirius and Remus took off in opposite directions.
Along the way Sirius slipped outside the sliding glass doors, careful not to smudge them, as Mrs. Potter had just washed them. Closing the door quietly Sirius looked up to see James running towards him at a fast pace. Sirius began to back up before turning around. Right before he was about to start off in a sprint he heard a dull thud. Whipping around he saw James laying on the ground and a face print on the door.
Sirius fell to the ground laughing which attracted Mrs. Potter and Remus. They too laughed but eventually went to revive James who had been knocked out. That signaled the end of their game.
Now however it was just after dinner and Sirius was wolfing down chocolate cake. During the process a barn owl arrived with the Hogwarts letters attached.
"Ten galleons says Moony's Head Boy." Sirius bargained as he looked at his letter.
"Ten says otherwise Pad." James said before opening his letter.
Remus opened his to find that he wasn't Head Boy, not that he was too disappointed. He skimmed the letter and then folded it back up and patiently waited for the others to finish reading theirs.
All of the sudden James dropped his envelope to the floor and began laughing. He bent over and grabbed the envelope and thrust it at Remus. "Remus I have your badge." He said in-between laughter.
Remus, full of curiosity opened it and withdrew the badge and the letter. Quickly he read the first few paragraphs, jaw steadily dropping. With a glance at the other two he sighed, "No you don't. That is yours you great brute!"
"No it's yours Moony, how could James be HB? He is too immature!" Sirius said in attempt to figure out what happened.
"This is a SIGN! You guys this is a sign!" James shouted no longer laughing, but full of joy.
"No that's a badge." Remus said.
"Technically it is, but it's a sign. A sign for me to be mature! Lily will love me then!"
"Oh Merlin. Here we go again. Let's concentrate on the matter at hand." Sirius muttered. Remus nodded and put a silencing charm on James.
"Sirius why don't you go break the news to Pete? I'll let Mrs. P know."
Furiously shaking his head James began to flail his arms in attempt to regain the attention. Noticing that it was futile he took of in a sprint towards the door to find his mum. Remus took off as well and it was a battle to get through the door.
…
The night before they left for Hogwarts was hectic to say the least. Clothes were flying everywhere as Sirius and James sniffed them to determine if they were clean or not. Remus on the other hand took use of his ability to perform magic, and cast a few cleaning spells and packed his clothes with a flick of his wand.
"Merlin! Are you a wizard or not?" Remus exclaimed after being hit with a pair of briefs in the face. With a disgusted look he set them on fire, then extinguished them and levitated the ashes into the rubbish bin.
"Well yea… Didn't think of that." Sirius muttered before taking out his wand.
Remus was amazed at the idiocy of his two friends. Or more like the lack of common sense. Either way they weren't the brightest wizards. Unless of course you counted pranking as a subject. Then they would be the brightest wizards ever. Continuing to pack his books and supplies Remus realized that with the books in the trunk, his stuff wouldn't fit. After a moment of thinking he shrunk the books and placed them in the cauldron along with his scales, parchment, ink wells, and quills.
"James! I found the map!" Sirius called from under his bed. Remus rolled his eyes.
"You wouldn't have lost it if I took it like I was supposed to Pad."
"Remus has a point." James pointed out.
"HEY! Why is there toast crust under here?" Sirius again called out.
James looked as if he were going to bust out laughing any moment as was Remus. Remus finally managed to get out,
"No clue mate."
Truth was they did know. Three nights ago Sirius began to scream in his sleep about toast crust. James ran downstairs and in a few minutes returned with crestless toast. Remus and James ate the toast as they enchanted the crust's to bombard Sirius in his sleep. That resulted in more of his yelling in a girlish voice.
Behind the bed Sirius' head appeared. "You arseholes! That isn't funny!" Apparently he figured it out, amazingly enough.
"I don't know what your talking about." James stated as he excused himself from the room. Seconds after the door closed he began to laugh hysterically.
Later as they were climbing into bed Sirius spoke aloud, "Hey, I want to thank you guys."
"For?" James and Remus asked.
"For making this one of the best summers ever. I guess you could say I am happy to have these memories."
"Well in that case, your welcome. Not that we did anything amazing or productive. Now go to bed. We have to get up at eight, and that is in six hours."
"Right-o Mr. Moony!" James and Sirius chorused.
…
"Oh Lilikins! Guess who?" James called out as he strolled into the Head's compartment.
"Damn it Potter! We haven't even left the station! Why on Earth are you even in here?" Lily replied crossing her arms. That was when she noticed the badge.
"I'm the head honcho, my dear."
"One I am not your dear. Two go give Remus his badge back."
"Actually it is his." Remus explained as he made his way into the compartment. For a moment Lily was speechless.
"Oh that man. That goddamned man! What the holy hell would he give that the Head Boy badge? Concentrate Lily, calm down. Oh hell! DAMN YOU DUMBLEDORE!" She shouted the last part and began to bang her head on the compartment wall muttering about being damned and having to see that Potter boy again.
James reached out and put his hand in front of her head so she would hit that instead. In rage, Lily whipped out her wand and a bright light filled the compartment.
When the light dimmed a smug looking Lily could be seen. Along with her was a three foot tall blue man with purple hair and an ugly face full of wrinkles. The man, or James, was wearing a green cheer leading out fit complete with green and purple pom-poms. The front said HSWW in curly letters and on the back had 'Potter'.
"Lily is that a-"
"A troll doll? Yes. Suits him doesn't it?" She smiled and waited for the rest of the prefects to arrive.
"This is going to be an interesting year to say the least." Remus concluded as he sighed and sat down on the bench. "Now everyone be quite; I want to fix this into my memory!"
James shot him the finger and grunted. Hobbling over to the bench and attempted to jump up on it. Three tries later he looked pleadingly at Remus.
"Sorry mate, I'm busy remembering this." James shot him a look and took a running jump. He successfully made it up to the bench before tipping backwards and landing on his back. Giving up James sat on the floor pouting.
…
I've published this before, but took it down to do some editing and never got around to republishing it. So if it looks familiar, it probably is. I kept most of it the same, added a bit, and did an overhaul on grammar and such.
It's really a standalone, silly little ficlet that I wrote years ago. I hope you enjoyed!