He was standing in front of the cenotaph again. Looking to the horizon, searching yet finding no answers, mainly because he doesn't know what questions he wanted answers to.
Fingers absently traced her name. He could only breathe out one word into the cold morning mist.
"Sakura…"
--
"Are you absolutely sure?"
Wide eyed children of various ages stood surrounding a petite kunoichi with pink blossom hair.
"Of course I'm sure, won't do much help to brag, isn't it?" she winked back.
"Do show us how…" the little girl name Kisa pleaded softly, hidden mostly behind her big brown teddy bear, a gift from her dead ninja of a brother. She was the shyest among the group, and it was nice to know that she had managed to have gotten her attention.
She nodded as she stepped forwards into the lake, where only the sole of her boots touch the water as she walked on further to the center of the lake. Perfect chakra control was always her fort. Behind her she could hear the group of orphans cheering.
She never did say anything about the lone figure hiding proficiently observing them.
--
"Is it true then?" he asked barely a whisper as the door behind him clicked shut.
"There's lots of truths in the world, Sasuke… you kinda need to be more specific on asking which one…" she answered absent mindedly, all concentration focusing on the work at hand, which was accurately measuring another dose of antidote for one of the sick child.
"That you're dying…" he said, almost accusingly.
She did not falter in her action, nor was there any pause indicating that she was affected by that statement in any way.
She continued to measure the potion, at her pace of leisure, and when she was finally satisfied, once the bottled up vial was stowed away in her weapon pouch, did she finally look up at him.
"The second anyone breathe in their first breath of air, their body has already started the process of dying… so I guess that includes me too... so I would say that yes… I am," she answered flippantly, as she stood up from her bench and reach for the door behind him.
He caught her arm before it could reach its intended mark.
"Don't joke with me on this…" he hissed. Dark onyx eyes burnt her. But she did not look away, glaring back with almost the same intensity.
"What is it to you?" she asked, challenged laced in every word.
But he could not answer. Could not, would not, he didn't know.
In the next second, she wench her arm out of his grasp so abruptly that he was forced to let go, save he wanted his arm yanked out of its socket by her monstrous strength.
This time, as she left slamming the door behind her, he did nothing to stop her.
--
Kisa was having one of her nightmares again.
Sakura was running down the corridors to get to her when her sobbing softened to whimpers, then a few sniffling followed by the sound of light snores. She risked a glance inside her room to see him holding the girl, slightly rocking her side to side, humming a deep tuneless lullaby, with gentleness she never knew him to have.
She stood there leaning on the opened door as he finally tucked the girl back into her futon, never moved an inch as he stood up and walked towards her. But as he neared her, she gave him a smile so sincere, it hurt him to watch. And then she said something that he knew was not for the deed he just accomplished, but for something he has yet to figure out.
"Thank you, Sasuke-kun."
And she was gone.
--
"Don't you dare lie about that you bastard!" his voice so low and threatening, eyes boring the terrifying Sharingan, it would have made most ninja cower. But Naruto was not most Ninja.
"You know I don't joke or lie when it comes to her," the blond ninja commented, "I just wanted to make sure that at least you won't keep acting like a bloody jerk to her every time you see her!" he shouted back. They were both panting deeply, the clearing behind them showing the damage they have done to training area 5. And Naruto's voice suddenly dipped low, so gentle and quiet, that none ever believe he could.
"At least let her smile just some more… before she leaves us for good."
--
"You stupid STUPID girl!" he screamed as he threw the empty sake bottle down at the gravestone. The rain storm has not relented ever since her death 2 days ago. And Sasuke has not been sober ever since. He dropped to the floor on his knees, crawled the remaining way to the tomb, and started digging the fresh grave with his bare hand.
He didn't notice the pair of hands grabbing his collar, lifting him in the air, and throwing a punch to his left jaw, leaving him flying 20 foot back. He groaned once on the muddy ground, then started crawling towards the grave again.
"Kami-sama, you IDIOT! What are you trying to prove?" The hands grabbed his shirt this time, he noticed, and he was violently shook up by the collar, "SHE'S GONE! AND SHE WON'T BE COMING BACK!!" Naruto screamed at him, silent tears mingling with the rain.
Those words were the one that jolted Sasuke out of his reverie.
She won't be coming back She won't be coming back She won't be coming back She won't be coming back…
The screams that followed were filled with anger, guilt, self loathing, agony, pain, and worst of all regret.
Anger, that fate had taken her away from them, so fast, so soon, so swiftly.
Guilt, for not being able to protect her, or at least prevented her death.
Self loathing, from all the times he broke her dreams and shattered her heart.
Agony, that he knew she would have done it again and again, given the same choice, the same chance.
Pain, cause he knew he won't ever see her brilliant smile again, nor the pink blossom hair teased by the wind, nor the green emerald eyes so filled with love and emotion and innocence.
And regret, the regrets that he'd never the chance to tell her, nor ever will have the chance to tell her, what he had always wanted to say, what she had always wanted to hear, although he thinks, and hopes, that maybe, deep down, she knew it anyway.
And the bottom line just keeps on repeating itself, even after he'd screamed himself hoarse, even after the rain finally let down, and even when he was at the brink of unconsciousness.
She won't be coming back She won't be coming back She won't be coming back…
--
Being sober and able to think clearly was not a good idea.
And the hot tea rudely shoved into his hands did nothing to warm the chill in him.
"Drink."
The worthless idiot was ordering him around, some unconscious part of him was urging him to respond violently.
He could only frown at his blond companion.
Naruto stared at his best friend hard, then reached out and upset the whole cup of green tea onto Sasuke's lap. It was funny how Sasuke's eyes grew wide, manage to maneuver his body sideways, swear obscenities and glare whole heartedly at the blond, all at the same fraction of a second.
"Thought you were dead, sorry… my mistake," the blond explained.
He only heard a growl in return.
"Anyway," he threw a scroll at Sasuke, which he caught without blinking his eyes, and continued, "Baa-chan has finally consented about the mission I've drawn up, the one I've been working on ever since Sakura-
His quick reflexes were the only thing that saved his neck from being sliced into bits by kunais and shuriken thrown at him by his best friend.
"Damn it, Sasuke… Gosh you son of a bitch," he glared back.
"As I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me, the mission… oh for heavens' sake, stop mopping around and read the bloody thing!" the blond threw up his hands in frustration.
He tightened his hold on the scroll, and decided the best way to get Naruto to leave now was to do whatever he wanted, so he opened the scroll and browse through it.
He did not notice the smirk of his blond teammate as his eyes widen a fraction, redoubling back to read it more precisely, forehead marred with a frown, a way of showing that he was, indeed, considering the idiot's idea of a mission.
And everyone thought Naruto was the stupid one.
--
"I'm dying…" she whispered, her eyes suddenly finding the pebble at the lake very interesting.
His head spun around so fast, he could have sworn he heard it kink.
"What?" was the only word he could mouth.
She smiled at him this time.
"Remember that poisonous dart we got caught with that day in Rain?" she waited till he nodded before continuing, "the antidote that was made, the one I inject you and Sasuke-kun with, that was my serum…"
"I don't understand…" Naruto said, taking a step closer to her. I don't want to understand… the voice within him started screaming in panic.
"You see… we were actually lucky I was kind of immune to many poisons already, or for some, the effects weren't always full blown. But for all the knowledge I had for poisons and antidote making, this one really had me in a pinch…" she gave a feeble laugh, "I couldn't make the antidote for it, and you and Sasuke were in so much pain, I had to… I really didn't want this to happen, but I had too…"
And she fell to her knees as he voice faded away, and Naruto understands anyway. But all he could do was gather her up in his arms and held her close as her sobs came hard.
Sakura's forbidden jutsu enables her to use her own body's immune system to produce the antibodies needed for any antidote. In return for a fool proof antidote to save lives, her body is left with no protection towards the poison's toxins itself. It was a sacrificial type of jutsu. One she was willing to use if given the chance to choose again, just so she could save her special people.
--
They came back bruised and battered but none for wear.
They were leaning on each other as they passed by the gates, after 3 long months of the hunting game, blood of theirs and many others in between staining their skin and clothes. But for once, they were feeling glad, ever since she'd left them behind.
Leaving them behind, a feat she was not able to accomplish when she was alive.
But at least now, it doesn't hurt that much to see her back, knowing that they had at least done everything within them. Revenge was usually frowned upon by honorable ninjas, but this one grudge had to be avenged, put behind them before they could lead their lives as she had meant them to.
And as they reach her grave, Naruto started talking animatedly, relating their tale of adventure of kicking the "asses- who-dared-hurt-my-Sakura-chan" and of course bragging how many times he needed to save the "bastard's-ass", earning a snort from Sasuke followed by the traditional Uchiha smirk. But many did notice the sense of peace within the two teammates after that incident.
--
Kisa was busy tying ribbons on her brown teddy bear when they came to visit. The other kids rushed up to them with shrill cries of "Onii-san". Naruto caught one of them and swung the kid high up into the sky, safely catching him on his way down, bouts of laughter could be heard throughout Konoha's Orphanage.
Sasuke watched the scene for a second more before receding to Kisa's corner of the room.
"Aren't you going to go up to play with that idiot?" he asked her gently.
Kisa stopped her humming and tying and looked up to the dark haired shinobi.
"Nah… I'd rather stay here, it's too noisy over there," and she continued her task of tying ribbons to her stuffed bear.
Sasuke sat beside her against the wall, one leg straight, the other knee flexed, eyes closed and relaxed. He could understand why she's always liked to come here.
"You're missing her," the five year old commented in more of a statement then a question, shattering his temporary peace. He cocked an eye open to glance at her, she had finished tying 4 pink ribbons on the head of her teddy bear, and was now currently studying him with contemplating eyes.
"Yes, I am," he felt compelled to answer.
She scrutinized him with her innocent eyes for awhile more, before nodding her head to herself, as if coming to a conclusion of such.
"I've got something to tell you then," she said smugly.
Sasuke, with curiosity brewing to the brim, lifted one of his brows in question.
Kisa smiled at him sweetly and lean over to his side, cupped his ear, and brought her mouth close to him, and whispered.
His eyes widened with shock, "too?" he asked in a voice barely audible.
Kisa nodded, and a sense of complete tranquility washed over him. The weight of regret on his shoulder lifted, allowing him to breathe anew.
Kisa watched him for awhile longer, all the while smiling, then she stood up and ran to the other kids for a game a hide and seek.
--
"I had a bad dream last night," the little girl complained as she rubbed her still sleepy eyes.
"Oh? Want to talk about it?" Sakura asked, as she continued to clean the dishes.
"Can't remember it now, but I think Sasu-nii was there, cause when I woke up abit, I saw him telling me it's alright," she continued.
"Hmm… he was there last night, I was one step away to get you when I heard your cries, you ok now?" the pink haired medic-nin asked again, while wiping the excess water on her hand on her apron.
"Yeah…" she then proceed to drink the milk Sakura placed in front of her.
"Why is he here anyway, he doesn't usually come here last time," she asked suddenly as if the thought just entered her mind.
Sakura smiled at her and took a sit at the chair opposite Kisa.
"Cause I won't be here anytime soon, and I would like someone here to take care of you guys when I'm… absent," she carefully refrain from using the word 'gone', it held too much finality in it.
"Oh? Sakura-neechan is leaving?" Kisa asked frantically, worries laced in her young brown eyes.
"Yeah…" Sakura could only answer, with a sad smile to her face, thought trailing away.
"Just like nii-san?" Kisa asked after a silent pause.
"Huh?" her train of thought interrupted by Kisa's sudden question.
"You're leaving, just like my nii-san, right?" Kisa repeated, her small voice raising accusingly, "And you're not coming back, just like nii-san, and I won't ever see you again, just like-
And she was interrupted with a fierce hug. The tears, leaving trails on her cheek, were soaked up by the plain white cotton shirt of the only person with pink hair in the village.
But she was shocked to feel the same moisture coming through her own shirt, neechan's crying too, she thought.
"You won't see me doesn't mean I won't be here…" she felt a hand placed firmly on her beating heart. And Kisa could only hug her back twice as fierce as her neechan did.
"You know… I think Sasu-nii is here because you are…" she whispered after a period of being cradled in Sakura's arms. She heard the older girl laugh, before a reply was returned.
"Could you do me a favor?" she nudged the little one in her arms.
"Ok…"
"Could you tell him something for me? When I'm gone? Cause I think he isn't half as smart as you, so he won't know about things if it isn't told straight to his arrogant face," she jested.
Kisa giggled at the insult thrown at the invincible Sasu-nii, and nodded her head in response.
"Tell him that I love him too," Sakura said, voice turned from playful to serious in a heartbeat.
"Too?" little Kisa asked.
Sakura smiled and explained, "Yeah… cause I already know he loves me, even though he won't ever say it, and that's enough for me," and she smiled so brilliantly, she shone.
--END--
Author's Note: Hope it isn't confusing, and I'm sorry to kill off Sakura… again… but I still hope you enjoyed the fic.