- It Feels Better When You Bleed -
"I sit here locked inside my head remembering everything you said."
- Staind
It feels better when you bleed. She found that out by accident, having slit her finger on a knife while putting together dinner one night.
No, she was not a depressed kid who picked up knives, box cutters, scissors, etc and slit her wrists or other body parts with them. No. She simply enjoyed the pain she got when she accidentally slit her finger on a knife, perhaps cut her leg while shaving.
It was masochistic in every sick way humanly possible, but she couldn't explain it; maybe because she knew the happenings weren't intentional. Perhaps it was because the physical pain was easier to focus on than the emotional turmoil constantly swimming through her head. In reality, she had yet to quite work out why she enjoyed it, but she knew to keep it a secret, as it would worry anyone else if they knew.
Then again, in such close quarters, it was hard to keep secrets.
The one time that it was potentially intentional, having drawn her finger along the blade of a knife with enough pressure to break the skin, she was caught.
"Feldt? Are you okay?"
Nearly dropping the sharp object, then succeeding in steadying it on the counter, she whirled around to see a pair of mismatched eyes widely watching her.
"I...I'm fine. I just happened to cut myself while putting lunch together."
The brunette did not look any less than worried, but he didn't look skeptical of her explanation, either. She watched the older figure amble over to her and grab her wrist firmly but cautiously, eying her fingertip where blood was bubbling up.
The way Allelujah went about taking care of her was just like an experienced older brother. Funny; she was completely certain he was an only child, and the least apt aboard the Ptolemaios to have such instincts. Nonetheless he had pulled her around and stuck her hand under the faucet, rinsing off her hand with cold water before turning to head across the room.
"Keep your hand over the sink," he instructed, as if she were gushing blood. Looking at her hand, Feldt scowled, barely seeing blood anymore. Despite this, she wasn't about to argue with Allelujah's demands and instead kept her hand in place where he had left it.
Returning from rummaging in a cabinet, she watched him undo the bandage he had snatched up from a medical kit that had been strategically placed in the kitchen for occurrences such as this. Gently he took her hand once more, wrapping the bandage precisely around the small nick on her finger and pressing its self-adhesive edges into place.
"There."
He looked satisfied at his handiwork, although there hadn't been much to do to begin with. Either way, it was a rather kind gesture; it was best that he didn't know that this time she had taken it upon herself to be wounded.
"Thank you," she murmured, looking at her hand as if it had previously been mutilated beyond repair.
Stupid. Why had she done that anyway?
Allelujah smiled, cocking his head slightly. "No problem."
With that, he turned to head to whatever he was doing before. Not before walking out the door, he had turned back to her.
"Feldt?"
"Yes?" she replied, finally drawing her gaze away from her now bandaged finger.
"Be more careful, alright?"
She offered a small smile and nodded. "Okay."
Yes. Second Gundam fic, more fluff.
No, I am not shipping Feldt with everyone on Ptolemy. I just happen to adore her as a character and feel the need to write about her...
I suppose.
Still developing any ideas for a Feldt/Lockon fic, seeing as I ship them relentlessly lol. Oh well. Sometime~
Review?