Dear Voldi,
May I call you Voldi? It does seem slightly less chilling than Voldemort. I am writing to inform you that your actions are inept, your strategies flawed, and your guesses featherbrained. My niffler has bigger brains than you, unkind Sir, when it comes down to 'thinking.' I don't really know why I am writing this and sending it to you of all people. I suppose the insomnia is getting to me. Oh, and you're hideous as well. You really ought to make some use of blush. I recommend Maybelline products. They give a natural look while minimizing irritation to sensitive skin. And you just might want to purchase a wig. And finally, you REALLY should think about getting a life. I mean honestly, when was the last time you let your hair down? Figuratively speaking of course. I suppose that's all I've got to say for now. If you have any questions about the make over, please feel free to owl me,
Hate from, Lavender Brown
PS. A nose job wouldn't be objectionable either. Ta-
Thanks for reading.