It was 3 am in the morning and Kaname was woken from dreaming about horse dicks and not liking Zero by Yuki's terrorized screaming. It made him very hard. His sudden erection propelled him out of bed, down the hallway and into the pantry where Yuki was previously sleeping. She sat there, upright amongst the spices and pasta boxes, screaming and staring into the abyss again.
Kaname rubbed his eyes with one hand and his boner with the other, yawning. "What's the matter, Yuki?"
She turned to look at him, her eyes blazing with the white hot intensity of hellfire. "I'M SCARED. SCARY VAMPIRES." she screeched like a baby vulture. This happened a few times every November, but only when snow was coming. The snow reminded her of her traumatic scary vampire experience.
Kaname's eyes lit up. "I know just what you need".
Walking to the fridge - said fridge covered in Yuki's Insidious-like drawings held up by alphabet magnets - he reached in and pulled out a full, unopened jar of mayonnaise. It wasn't warm, like she preferred, however it would suffice for tonight. Yuki's screaming void of a mouth gaped like a baby bird waiting for a worm. Kaname's heart fluttered; he always wanted to be a mother bird. He scooped some of the thick mayonnaise up with a leftover spork from KFC, gently placing it in her black hole of a mouth. Yuki swallowed it eagerly; by now everyone knew that mayonnaise helped her forget her trauma.
Watching Yuki's tiny mouth devour so much mayonnaise was agonizing for Kaname. The more he shoveled into her mouth, the harder his penis got. He wasn't sure if he was getting harder from Yuki or from the mayonnaise. They were his two most prized possessions. As his spork-feeding got more aggressive, Yuki began to gag. Kaname found himself unable to control his lust any longer. It was wrong to put his dick in Yuki before she became of age, so he settled for the mayonnaise again.
Thrusting his throbbing member into the jar of goo, he shuddered at how freezing it was. His dick kept hitting the bottom of the jar, but he didn't care. He knew Yuki was watching but he didn't care. Mayonnaise helped her forget, but it helped him cum. Yuki stared in awe, or perhaps that was her normal face, as his nipples hardened to a point like his dorito-shaped jaw. He stared into her soulless eyes as he smashed his dick into the sea of sweet creamy condiment. Staring him straight in the eye, Yuki screeched, "I'M SCARED", causing Kaname's balls to clench tightly. He could feel himself about to climax.
After a few final thrusts, Kaname shot his load into the mayonnaise jar. As he was catching his breath, he noticed Yuki reaching for the jar. He quickly turned around and said, "No, Yuki, you can't touch my mayonnaise dick until you're at least thirteen." Pulling his penis out of the jar, he walked over to a drawer, his dick dripping mayonnaise as he walked, and sealed the jar with layers and layers of duct tape. Handing it to Yuki, who was always easily thwarted by duct tape, he said, "Give this to Zero at school tomorrow. He needs this more than me."