Have a Moment
DISCLAIMER: I do not own them, much to my eternal sadness. I am but borrowing them for just a little while.
A/N: One-shot fic dealing with The Wedding. Written as a companion piece to my first fic 'To Be Here' (as it expands upon a mention in the first chapter of that fic), but can - and does - completely stand alone.
I am still a newbie fic writer - finding my feet and bowing to the commands of a certain Captain and her Lieutenant, who have taken up residence in my head.
(Speaking of 'To Be Here', I have been completely overwhelmed by the awesome reaction to that story. For those of you anticipating Chapter 2, it will be up in the next couple of days!)
All mistakes are mine alone.
"You look beautiful, Sharon." She smiled as he opened the car door for her to exit, extending his hand to her as he did so.
"Thank you," she replied, blushing slightly. She accepted his outstretched hand and stood from the vehicle, straightening her dress with her other hand. "You are very handsome yourself, Andy."
He grinned at her, and she realised that their hands were still linked. Somehow their fingers had become entwined without her noticing and she wondered idly when she had become so comfortable with this man. She couldn't deny there was an attraction between them that went beyond mere friendship - despite what she had told him in her office earlier. Their closeness scared her just as much as it made her happy. It was why she had offered to be here with him - and why she had protested just a little too much that she was simply acting as his buffer. Still, she couldn't bring herself to let go of his hand and it seemed that he had no intention of breaking the connection, either. She wasn't sure whether to be elated or terrified by that. It was just because he needed the support, she told herself, for the hundredth time that evening.
Andy felt his heart race as he held her small hand in his own. She really did look stunning. She wore a simple yet elegant green dress - nothing fancy, but the way it brought out the colour in her eyes was incredible. As was the way it hugged her figure, although he tried not to focus on that too much. She was, after all, just his friend. The silk shawl she had wrapped around her shoulders was a rich purple colour which was amazing on her. He was having real trouble remembering that she was not really his date, the feelings that he had been developing for her for months now threatening to break through.
"Are you ready?" she asked him softly. His eyes flickered between the church and the car, as if he was debating making a last-minute dash for home. She placed a hand on his chest in comfort and waited as he closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. "You can do this, Andy." She felt him squeeze her other hand, still clasped in his own. He opened his eyes and looked at her with such emotion she could barely breathe. "Ready?" she whispered again.
He gave her a small smile. "As I'll ever be."
Sharon shifted nervously in her seat as she sat in the front row, watching her Lieutenant walk his daughter down the aisle. She felt a little self-conscious being here, at the front of the church, but Andy had insisted that she was his friend and therefore she should sit with him. Besides, he needed her with him, she knew - it was worth a little discomfort on her part if it meant that he was as calm and relaxed as he could possibly be. He looked every inch the proud father, she thought, even if he was having to share this most joyful of duties with Nicole's stepfather. She could see the tension in his posture, in the set of his jaw - subtle signs that others may miss, but that she had come to be all too aware of in him. He was holding it together well though. She was proud of him.
Sharon smiled as he kissed Nicole on the cheek and turned away, quickly finding his place next to her. She placed her hand on his forearm as he sat down and squeezed it gently.
"Well done," she whispered softly in his ear. He said nothing, but placed his own hand on top of hers for a moment and flashed her a grateful smile.
As the ceremony progressed to the vows, Sharon looked up at Andy's face once more. His eyes had filled with tears, his expression a mix of pride and sadness that she understood completely. He had missed much of his daughter's life - being here on her wedding day was a blessing, but it also served as a reminder of all the time that they had lost. Time that he was trying desperately to make up for now. She reached across and took his hand with her own. He immediately laced their fingers together, holding on to her hand tightly, needing her touch. She smiled softly and leaned in to him, allowing her head to rest on his shoulder in a gesture of friendship and support. She felt him relax slightly under her touch and his thumb caressed the back of her hand in a silent gesture of gratitude.
All the while, Sharon felt eyes burning into the side of her head. She knew exactly where the gaze was coming from: Andy's ex-wife had made clear her feelings about him bringing a friend to the wedding as soon as they arrived. She had appraised Sharon as if she were something undesirable, before turning her nose up and ignoring her completely. It had only been Sharon's calming hand on Andy's arm that had enabled him to let it go, rather than turning around and insisting that they just leave. That, and the fact that Nicole herself had been more than welcoming, seeming genuinely pleased that her father had someone to bring along with him on her special day.
Sharon turned her head slightly, deliberately meeting the other woman's glare - returning it with an icy smile. Nicole's mother looked away quickly with a scowl, embarrassed at being caught so blatantly staring. Sharon looked up at Andy, making sure that he had not noticed the wordless exchange. He hadn't - he was too busy watching his daughter enjoying the happiest moment of her life. Just as it should be.
Andy had been right when he warned her that the woman was a real piece of work, Sharon thought. She seemed intent on causing trouble, even at the expense of her own happiness. Sharon just didn't understand it. Still, if Nicole's mother was so caught up in her bitterness over her ex-husband that she would rather stare daggers at him than take pleasure in watching her own daughter get married, then that was entirely her own problem. Sharon wasn't about to let it get to her - and she wasn't going to let it upset Andy, either. Not today.
She turned her attention back to the ceremony as she heard the young couple being declared husband and wife. She loved this part - there was so much love, so much hope for the future. It was beautiful. She surreptitiously wiped a tear from her eye, but she was not subtle enough. She felt Andy let go of her hand, and then his arm came around her, tucking her in to his side. She lifted her head and he smiled down at her, his deep brown eyes full of warmth and something else, something more. She returned his smile with a rather watery one of her own before resting her head back on his shoulder. When he placed a kiss on the top of her head, it felt to both of them like the most natural thing in the world.
After dinner, the reception passed in a blur of introductions and conversations with people Sharon had never met and Andy hadn't seen in years. She had to suppress a giggle each time he introduced her to somebody new: "This is my friend, Sharon." Obviously he had taken her earlier words to heart. Somehow, she found that incredibly endearing.
He guided her from group to group with a hand at the small of her back and she easily engaged with everyone she met, enchanting them and allowing Andy to actually enjoy the evening rather than wishing he was anywhere but here.
Eventually, they found themselves standing by a large window in the hotel ballroom where the reception was being held. Most people were on the dance floor by now, and both Sharon and Andy were relieved to finally have a moment of quiet.
"How are you doing?" she asked him, concern flashing in her eyes.
"I'm good," he replied quickly. "Really good," he added, when he caught the look of skepticism that crossed her features. "Thank you," he added softly.
"I didn't do anything," she said lightly, touching his arm. "You did all the hard work."
"I had a great support system." He held her eyes with his own and that look was back, the one he had in the church - the one that hinted at a myriad of feelings as yet unspoken.
Sharon just smiled, not sure of what to say - not really trusting herself to say anything. She knew that her eyes mirrored the emotion in his own and that frightened her.
It was Andy who spoke again.
"I'm just going to the bathroom, I'll be right back." She nodded, her hand dropping from where it had still been resting on his forearm.
"Okay." She watched him walk across the dance floor before turning to look out of the window, lost in thought.
Sharon was still gazing out of the ballroom window when she felt a light tap on her shoulder. Jumping slightly, she turned to face the person beside her. Her green eyes widened in surprise when she saw that it was Nicole, smiling nervously.
"I'm sorry," the young woman started. "I didn't mean to startle you."
Sharon smiled reassuringly at her. "It's fine - I always get a little nostalgic at weddings," she explained. She noticed Nicole's pensive expression. "Is everything okay?" she asked quietly.
"I just..." Nicole faltered, obviously searching for the right words to say what she meant. "I wanted to say thank you," she said finally, with a small smile.
Sharon was confused. "For what?" she asked gently.
"For persuading Dad to be here," Nicole explained in a small voice.
Sharon felt her heart break a little bit for both the young woman and her father. "Oh, honey," she said, her eyes filling with tears. "I never had to persuade him - he always wanted to be here."
Nicole frowned, confusion filling her eyes. "But I thought..."
"He got scared," Sharon interrupted her, before she could dwell any more on anything her mother might have told her. She wondered, not for the first time this evening, how any mother could deliberately cause her child pain, just to try to hurt that child's father. "Not of being here with you," she continued quickly. "That was what he wanted more than anything. Your father is a good man. He loves you so very much, Nicole." She put her hand reassuringly on the young woman's arm as understanding slowly dawned. "He just didn't want any bad feeling - he was afraid his being here would spoil things for you. All I did was offer him a little moral support," she smiled as Nicole nodded slowly.
"You did more than that," Nicole smiled gratefully. "I don't know what connection you two have - and it's not my business - but he's different around you. He's so calm. It's lovely to see him like that. I know our family isn't the easiest - coming here can't have been easy on you and I'm so grateful that you did this for him, it means the world to me." Suddenly Nicole stepped forward and wrapped her arms around Sharon in a tight hug. "Thank you," she whispered.
Sharon hugged Nicole back warmly. "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else," she told her honestly. "You are a lovely young woman and a truly beautiful bride. I'm honoured to have been able to meet you."
Nicole beamed at Sharon then, finally completely relaxing for the first time that day. She kissed the older woman quickly on the cheek, before disappearing into the crowd with a wave.
Andy had been watching the exchange between his daughter and his...friend, Sharon...from across the room. He had been anxious at first, wondering if perhaps he had done something to upset Nicole. He was stunned - and touched - when he saw the two women embrace, Nicole looking radiant with joy. He didn't know what the conversation had been about and he resolved not to pry. Whatever it was, it had obviously been a good thing.
He smiled to himself, watching Sharon. She was so graceful, so natural in this setting. She had kept him at ease this whole evening, effortlessly charming people who hadn't given him the time of day in years, until they were laughing and joking like old friends. If she hadn't been by his side he would have exploded hours ago, he knew. Having her here, with him - that she would do this for him... It meant everything. Nicole had visibly relaxed as Sharon spoke to her and he once again found himself in awe of his captain. His friend. The woman he had been slowly falling in love with for months, he finally realised.
"Hey." Andy had reappeared by Sharon's side, his hand instantly finding its place at the small of her back. She would never know what made her do it, but instead of answering him Sharon instinctively turned towards him and wrapped her arms around his middle, her head nestled under his chin, her eyes falling closed. His arms came around her automatically and he pulled her closer into him, giving her the contact he sensed she suddenly needed. She stood motionless in his arms, breathing in his scent, just enjoying the warmth and comfort of the man holding her. He rocked her gently. "You okay?" he asked, concern in his voice.
She hummed slightly and nodded, but tightened her hold on him fractionally and shifted her head so that her face was buried in his shirt.
For one horrible moment, Andy thought maybe he had read the situation with Nicole all wrong, that maybe there was a problem after all. When Sharon spoke a second later, he realised the truth.
"I always get a little nostalgic at weddings," she said quietly, for the second time that evening.
He understood. This wasn't about Nicole, or him, or the wedding. This was about Jack. About her grief at finally letting go of a marriage that had died more than twenty years ago. Not for the first time, Andy wanted to hurt the man who had hurt her.
Tenderly, he ran his finger along her jaw until he could tilt her face up towards him. She opened her eyes, and the sadness he saw trying to hide in their emerald depths broke his heart.
"Dance with me."
Sharon looked up at him, confused. "What?"
"Dance with me," he repeated, softly. He stepped back from her and held out his hand. "Please."
She hesitated for just a moment, then reached for his hand. He laced his fingers with hers and led her to a space on the edge of the dance floor. The band was already playing slow songs as he drew her into his arms. He placed one hand at her neck, under her hair, caressing her gently. She hummed softly in pleasure at his touch as his other hand came to rest at her waist. She leaned into his embrace, one arm around his shoulder and the other resting against his chest. Her head lay against him, and she allowed the steady beating of his heart to soothe her. Her eyes slipped closed again and he felt her body relax against him as they moved slowly in time with the music. He rested his cheek on top of her head, feeling himself become completely intoxicated by her.
"We're being watched."
Andy lifted his head and opened his eyes at her words. He had almost forgotten where they were, so lost was he in the moment with her. His eyes scanned the room until they alighted upon the unmistakeable sour gaze of his ex-wife. He huffed a little in response and laid his cheek back against Sharon's hair. She chuckled, pulling back from him so that she could loop her arms around his neck, looking up at him fondly. "It doesn't bother you?"
He thought about her question. "It would have," he answered honestly, "if you weren't here. But then, a lot of things tonight would have bothered me if you weren't here."
She smiled at his words and he linked his hands behind her waist, causing her to move closer into him. He had come so far she realised as she gazed at him, given so much of himself to be here for his daughter. She knew the old Andy - the hothead - would have given up, even with someone by his side, and she felt a rush of pride at his achievement. The hothead was still there, only now he allowed himself to be tempered - by her, usually. She suddenly found herself in awe of her lieutenant. Her friend. The man she had been slowly falling in love with for months, she finally realised.
"I'm sorry, Andy," she said then, dropping her gaze.
He stopped moving and looked at her, confused. "What for?"
"You know, the whole...nostalgia thing. My baggage has no place here."
He smiled at her and kissed her forehead lightly. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I'll gladly carry your baggage any time," he told her sincerely. "Besides," he added, laughter dancing in his dark eyes. "The fact that you have irritated Nicole's mother so thoroughly more than makes up for it!"
"Andy!" Sharon feigned shock. "Irritating your ex-wife is not the reason I came with you tonight," she scolded playfully, hiding a smile when he rolled his eyes at her. "Although," she added thoughtfully, "I have to admit that it was a rather unexpectedly enjoyable bonus." She said it with such a mischievous twinkle in her eyes that Andy couldn't help but laugh aloud. She quirked an eyebrow at him, a perfectly innocent expression settling over her features, before the look on his face had her dissolving into giggles. He stared at her incredulously, amusement dancing in his eyes and she flashed him a quick grin before laying her head back against his chest.
Before he could stop himself, Andy was pulling her closer, peppering her hair with soft kisses as they swayed gently to the music, his hand moving lower on her back when she made no move to pull away. She surprised him when she lifted her head to nuzzle against his neck, causing his heart to skip a beat. Her hand moved from his chest to cup his face and he felt her smiling against him when she shyly pecked his jaw lightly with her lips, her breath setting his skin on fire.
Without thinking, he leaned down and captured her lips with his own in a respectful, somewhat chaste kiss. Her eyes widened in surprise when he pulled back, looking slightly embarrassed. He was about to apologise when she leaned up and brushed her lips against his tentatively. He kissed her back softly. He was as restrained as before, though Sharon could feel the desire radiating from him before they broke apart again.
They looked at each other in stunned silence. He suddenly worried that she would flee - he could already see the conflict raging behind her eyes and he knew that whatever she did next would set the tone of their relationship forever.
She saw the panic in his eyes as she stared at him. He was terrified that he had overstepped. That he had broken the spell, effectively halting whatever had been slowly starting between them. He thought she was afraid - and he was right, she was. But it suddenly occurred to her that she was more afraid of losing him than of anything else. For the first time in a long time, she didn't know what to do. Finally, she swallowed the anxiety that was building inside her and stroked his face lovingly, before bestowing another gentle kiss on his lips.
"One day at a time, okay?" she whispered in his ear as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I can't promise you anything, Andy." She was giving him an out and he knew it, but there was no way in hell he was going to take it. She felt him sigh against her, his relief palpable.
He kissed her neck lightly. "One day at a time," he whispered back, as he held her to him. "I'll take that deal."
Glancing up, Andy saw his daughter watching them from a table nearby, clearly captivated by their interaction. She blushed and then smiled warmly at him when he caught her eye.
"I like her," she mouthed at him.
Andy grinned. "Me, too," he mouthed back.
He more than liked her. He adored this woman, he realised. He had never felt more relaxed, more alive - more in love - than at this very moment. Whatever she was able to give him, he would gladly accept. He wasn't about to walk away from her, however long it took - but in this moment, he wished he could hold her forever.
The drive back to Sharon's condo passed in comfortable silence. Her hand rested on Andy's thigh for most of the journey, his free hand laying atop it, their fingers laced as was rapidly becoming their habit. She rested her head back against the seat, her eyes closed. She was tired, but it was a relaxed, happy tiredness - not the relentless exhaustion that seemed to have been plaguing her for weeks now. Every so often she would feel him squeeze her hand and she would smile to herself.
A large part of her was still worried about how things were changing between them. Their dynamic had been shifting for a while - they had moved from the initial raw hatred, through anger and resentment to reluctant respect, becoming sometime allies and then real friends. It was what came next that scared her, yet she felt powerless to stop it. Not because she was being pushed - he wouldn't do that, she knew - but because it was what she wanted, she realised. He was what she wanted.
She knew that at least some of their colleagues - namely Provenza - had picked up on their recent closeness and that concerned her too. Not that anyone had said anything, but her paranoia was setting off alarm bells all the same.
She shook her head slightly and forced herself to forget about it. None of it really mattered, she thought. Not when he was prepared to go at whatever pace she set. Not when she was sitting here with him, holding his hand, his warmth tingling its way up her arm and through her body the same way his easy smile and expressive gaze had found their way into her heart.
No. Nothing else really mattered at all.
He walked her to her door, ever the perfect gentleman. She turned the key and then faced him, her soft smile lighting her face. He touched her cheek and leaned in to her. Meeting him halfway, her hand rested on his arm as their lips met once more. It felt to both of them like the most natural thing in the world.
Andy rested his forehead against Sharon's when he pulled back from the kiss. His hand stroked her cheek while his other instinctively found her hand and held it tight.
"When you're ready, I'm here," he said softly. "I'm always here."
Her reply was no more than a whisper, but he heard it anyway.
"I know."
She always knew.