Riku grunted as he took the last box from Sora, setting it inside the moving truck with a heavy thump that seemed to echo with finality. Sora settled a small bag in the corner by the door as Riku jumped out and they pulled the door down and closed. Both were quiet, tense, and weary. Not of each other, but of the third in their party that was still inside the house behind them.
The yard had been cleared. Any decoration had been packed away and the grass was starting to grow longer than it should. A garden lay untouched on the side of the house and Sora stared at it before biting his lip. There were a lot of memories in this house for all of them. Years had been spent here of parties, holidays, and birthdays. Countless awkward moments and even a bit of anger.
Now it was all coming to a close in a way Sora never would have thought was coming. Even from here, he could see the carving in the tree at the corner of the yard. Initials carved years prior. This house was meant to be a forever home. A house to grow old in.
"Think this is the right thing to do?" He cast his eyes to his lover next to him at the question, thinking it over with a sigh. It was a question he had asked himself multiple times. There really was no right answer to it. Only time would ever be able to tell if it was a good choice or not.
"I don't think it matters what I think." Sora said quietly. "He needed to do this though. Being here...was too much." An arm slid around his shoulders, tugging him close and Sora happily took any comfort he could. Never in his life could he remember feeling as helpless as he did now. As he had for the past two years. "He's my brother...and I can't help him." Riku said nothing, simply holding him quietly as they waited.
Say something, I'm giving up on you.
I'll be the one, if you want me to.
Anywhere I would've followed you.
Say something, I'm giving up on you.
The walls were brightly painted. Greens, blues, Reds, and yellows. He had always loved color. Always loved art and creativity. When they moved here, the walls were soon filled with color and designs of his own making. He had planned to grow old in this house, watching the paint fade, the days of their lives passing peacefully. He had never been happier anywhere as he was here.
Fingers ran over the mural in what was once their bedroom. Their friends. Their family. All painted with surprising detail onto the wall. He remembered bringing the idea up, of painting and adding to the mural for each friend they made and kept. The list had grown quite extensive between them. His friends became their friends and vice versa. Thus the number of people they were close to continued to grow.
"You made my hair look like a porcupine! What's up with that?!" The blonde jerked his hand away at the memory, as if burned. He remembered showing him this, feeling so proud of himself. He saw the twinkle of mirth in emerald eyes as he teased him, as if it was right in front of him at this very moment. A hand fell to his chest, clenching painfully over his heart, as if wanting to rip it out. Anything to stop the pain that had taken root and bloomed there over these last few years.
And I am feeling so small.
It was over my head
I know nothing at all.
"Whatcha painting?" He jerked his head up with a start from the painting in front of him. The redheaded stranger was watching him, head cocked and awaiting an answer. Roxas blinked at him, registering his question before scooting aside to show him. The beginnings of a lake could be seen, as well as the sparse trees littering it. This was Roxas's favorite place to be, beneath the shade of a tree by the lake. This park was often busy but had quiet spots like this that offered a relaxing peace. Peace he wanted to try and portray in a painting.
"Mind if I join?" Roxas shook his head in response, making a bit more room for the redhead. "You're good." His guest said as he sat down in the grass next to him, dropping a book bag beside him. Based on his age, he was a college student no doubt. And such peculiar tattoos beneath his eyes...Did he use hair gel to get his hair in such a state?
"Thanks. It's always so nice here, I figured it would make a nice painting as well for my wall. Doesn't really beat the real thing though." He held his hand out to shake and introduce himself, blushing when he realized it was smeared in paint and such from his work. He gave a sheepish chuckle and moved to pull it away when the man snagged it with a grin, shaking it. "Axel. The names Axel. Got it memorized?" Roxas couldn't suppress the laugh at such a strange phrase, grinning. "Roxas. I'll commit it to memory, Axel."
They ended up spending the rest of the evening chatting by the lake until the sun started to set and Roxas put the finishing touches on the painting with the last of the light. He showed it to his new friend with a proud grin. "Beautiful?" He asked hopefully for an opinion. Axel was quick to answer with a grin of his own. "Sure is." After a few moments of silence, he amended. "Oh, you were talking about the painting?" Roxas's face flamed for the second time that night as he finished packing his stuff up before scrawling a number on a bit of scratch paper and handing it to Axel. Axel happily took it before laughing at Roxas's quick and embarrassed exit.
And I will stumble and fall.
I'm still learning to love
Just starting to crawl.
A sob ripped from Roxas's throat at the memory, the tears streaking down his face as he knelt in front of the wall. He braced himself against it with a hand, the other clasping over his mouth as he struggled to control himself. After all this time, and the time it took to move from this house, he thought he would have been over this by now.
He settled his head against the wall with a small hiccuping breath, taking a deep shuddering inhale. He could do this. He wasn't going to let his resolve waiver now. Not at this point.
He stood, touching the painting once more before wiping at his eyes and turning away. There was no reason to stay any longer. No doubt Sora and Riku were waiting with the last of the things.
Say something, I'm giving up on you.
I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.
A year they had been together. Since they met that day at the lake. The painting now had itself a home on Roxas's small apartment wall. Axel had integrated himself so thoroughly into his life that Roxas could hardly remember a time he hadn't been there. Even now the redhead was invading his living room, playing the game system he had brought with him. He was trying to give his roommates some time alone, he said.
Said roommates rarely cared who was home before they got down to business after a date.
It was alright though, because Axel had nicked Demyx's game system in retaliation and had no intention of giving it back until he came home the next morning.
Roxas leaned against the door frame as he watched his lover race in whatever game was distracting him at the moment. He had been pondering a question for a few weeks now, but hadn't really brought it up yet. "Hey, Ax?" The redhead gave a halfhearted sound to show he was listening, obviously more than focused at trying to beat the current leader. "Maybe you should move in." That got his attention as his character crashed into a wall with a fiery explosion to follow.
"Say what?" Axel blinked at him, making sure he heard him right as Roxas blushed. "I mean." Roxas mumbled, barely audible for the other to hear. "You're always over here anyway. It's been a year. I don't see any reason why not."
The silence that followed made him want to go bury himself in a hole. He didn't like being embarrassed, especially in front of Axel. "Forget I-"
"Sure." He looked up at Axel again who had the biggest grin on his face. "It's about time you asked. I was going to bring it up soon if you didn't." Roxas stared at him before smiling and walking over to kiss him soundly.
Anywhere I would've followed you.
Say something, I'm giving up on you.
He did one last walk through the house, looking into any nook and cranny trying to find anything that may have been missed. He opened the closets, checked the attic. Nothing but empty space and old memories.
His footsteps echoed as he walked down the hall that had been theirs. Past his old studio, and imprints of pictures on the walls. Past the hole in the wall Roxas had accidentally put there while moving in years prior. Axel had put the shelf in front of it to hide it as if it never happened.
Down the stairs that Axel liked sliding down. Roxas used to joke about putting a fire pole in so it could be like he never left work. Axel had even looked into it as a joke before Roxas smacked him with the mail that day.
Out the door he went, not allowing himself to look back any longer. It was time.
And I will swallow my pride.
"You sure we can afford that one?" Roxas nibbled at the eraser of the pencil in his mouth, staring down at the list of houses in front of him. They were looking for something perfect. A bit more permanent than the apartment they had been occupying for a year now. A "Forever Home" Axel had called it. He always was the cheesy one. Even in his proposal he had made sure to be awkward and thoroughly embarrassing.
As he fiddled with the ring on his hand a familiar face leaned over his shoulder to look at the house in question with a smile. "It's only slightly out of budget. I'll come up with the rest of it easily enough. Put an offer down. You saw the inside. You could have your own art studio and everything." He pecked the blonde on the cheek quickly. "Place an offer. I'll handle it." Roxas stared at him before smiling with a sigh and nodding. He pecked Axel on the lips quickly before filling out information and picking up the phone.
You're the one that I love
And I'm saying goodbye.
"I'm ready."
Sora looked up from his spot on the curb, climbing to his feet when Roxas stepped out of the house. His little brother locked the door behind him slowly, staring at it for a long moment. Then he turned away and Sora frowned.
"Roxas..you're sure about this? This place.." His brother walked right past him with a light tap to the shoulder as a sign to not talk about it. Sora sighed and followed after him, passing the 'For Sale' sign in the yard. "We'll meet you at home, Riku." Sora said as he unlocked the car, allowing Roxas to slide into the passenger side. Riku nodded, digging the keys for the truck out of his pocket.
"Watch out for him." He said to the brunette, speaking low so it stayed between them. "It's going to be hard on him as it is. I'll be waiting for you at home. Demyx is going to meet me there with Zexion to help move things in." Sora nodded, hugging and kissing his boyfriend lightly in response.
Roxas could hear them. Not what they were saying per se but he knew they were discussing him in whispered words. He didn't mind enough to tell them to stop. He bent down, lifting a jacket off the floor board and wrapping it around his shoulders. He snuggled down into the too big garment, attempting to breathe in a scent that was no longer there.
Axel had forgotten it at the apartment that shift.
Say something, I'm giving up on you.
"You haven't had any calls at all?" Roxas laughed over the phone, setting his paintbrush down to admire the painting in front of him. "Not even little old ladies pressing the panic button cause her cat is stuck in a tree?" He teased and giggled at Axel's groan over the line.
"That was the worst call ever. Honestly, people should call the fire department properly instead of making us think they're dying." A long sigh over the line that as a mix of relief and exhaustion. "Shift's almost over though, so there's a relief. I may even be home early tonight."
"I'll have dinner ready for you when you get here. Just be careful ok? Drive safe and all that."
"You know I will. Doubt the next shift wants to be digging out their own from a wreck. Don't wait up for me in case I get called though, you need sleep sometimes too." Roxas could hear the care in his tone over the phone and smiled. "Don't worry about me. I'll take care of myself."
A laugh. "Talk to you later Rox. Love you."
"I love you too."
And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you.
Roxas fumbled with the phone in the early hours of the morning, groaning and looking at the clock on the nightstand. 2a.m. "Ugn, hello?" He said groggily, too tired to even sound angry. He had stayed up until an hour earlier, waiting for Axel to come home from the station. When he didn't, he assumed he got a call. It wasn't unusual for a firefighter to get called towards the end of his shift. It had happened multiple times.
He listened to the person on the other end, confirming it was indeed Roxas who anwered the phone. He went still suddenly, awake and alert in a flash as he listened to the other end. "I'll be right there." He said shakily, ending the call and throwing the phone quickly aside as he moved to get dressed. All the while the first words of that conversation going through his mind.
"There was a fire..."
And anywhere I would've followed you.
The trip to the hospital was a quiet one between the two brothers. Roxas didn't feel like talking, too focused on what he needed to say when he got there. Concentrating on the closure he was going to attempt to force.
Sora looked over at him in concern. He rarely had seen Roxas smile these last two years. For good reason, of course. It did nothing to stop his worrying though. He remembered the first night he had seen Roxas this way. That night at the hospital had been the worst. The waiting, the fear, seeing Roxas looking so utterly afraid and broken for the first time in their lives. The words of the doctor ringing in their ears.
"..really unpredictable. Could be hours or it could be years..."
"Burns will heal but...comas are strange things..."
"...may never be able to wake."
"I'm ok, Sora." He jerked from his thoughts, looking to Roxas and was surprised to find him staring at him. "I promise everything will be alright. I just need to do this."
Sora reached over and squeezed his brother's hand tightly. "I know..."
I know you're not alright...
Say something, I'm giving up on you.
Two years was a long time to wait. At one point, Roxas was adamant. He would never budge. That hospital became his second home. He had told Axel forever, and he had meant it. Comas were temporary, he said. Axel was sure to wake up soon.
He told himself that for as long as he could. He would have continued to tell himself longer but his friends began to worry. Roxas was wasting away waiting for him. The chance that he would be that way forever was so high. It took a year of prodding and begging for the redhead to wake up and come back before Roxas decided to listen to reason.
"I'll wait for you." Sora said when they got to his room, stopping outside the closed door. Roxas swallowed and nodded, settling a shaking hand on the door. Slowly he opened it and stepped inside, closing it with a soft click behind him.
Two years in a bed had taken its toll on Axel's figure. Muscles had degraded, and weight had been lost considerably. The doctor said that if he did wake up, he would be severely crippled for a while. His skin was pale now, having not seen proper sun in years and his spikes were limp and lack-luster. All in all he was a mess to say the least after so long.
Roxas stepped over to the bed, looking down at him softly. "Hey, Axel." He said quietly, hand drifting out to run through limp spikes and down a pale face. "I hope they've been taking care of you these past few days. Sorry, I was kinda busy this week."
He took a seat on the edge of the bed, giving a small jump in order to make the distance. "I've been thinking a lot, you know? I know, I've been really stupid. If you could see me, you probably would have punched me already, waiting around for this long." He gave a small smile, picking a limp hand up and rubbing the cold fingers with his own warm hand. "You always did tell me to go on ahead. To broaden my horizons and make something of myself."
He studied the rings on their fingers, remembering Axel giving them to him during their second anniversary. He swallowed hard, frowning and taking a deep breath. "You probably can't hear me. This is probably foolish but...I wanted to tell you. I'm selling the house. It's too big for me. I don't…want to stay there without you there with me. There's really no point. I'm not on the street or anything though. Sora and Ri have a room, so I'm staying with them for a while at their insistence."
He was met with cold silence. Nothing but the monotonous hum of machines and IVs sounded for a few minutes. Roxas felt water gather in his eyes and bit his lip, squeezing the hand in his. Part of him came here, hoping Axel would miraculously wake and that would be the end of it. They could go back to life as it should be. It was foolish but no less hopeful. "I promised..." he whispered softly. "I promised we'd stay together. You promised the same... So why…" He brought the hand to his lips, kissing the knuckles lightly, reverently. "…why did you go somewhere I couldn't follow?"
No response.
"I'm not coming back." He said quietly. "I'm going. I'm going to move on like I know you'd want me to and I won't be coming back." Still no response met his words and a small sob ripped from him again. "Please say something, Axel. Anything. Please tell me you're still in there somewhere." Say something, anything to give him hope. Anything to make him stay.
Say something, I'm giving up on you.
The room was the same as it always was and Roxas bit his lip hard this time, tasting iron and not caring as he slid from the bed. He leaned down, littering kisses over the comatose man's face. He rested his forehead against his with a shuddering sigh. "I don't think…this is goodbye." He said as he leaned back.
He paused for a moment, fingers resting on the ring of his opposite hand. He contemplated before shaking his head and sliding the ring off, lying it on the night stand. His hand shook when he pulled it away but he forced it to still, taking in a calming breath. "I love you. That won't change." He said with surprising steadiness as he straightened up.
He looked to the other one more time, expression one of complete calm. "See you in the next life." With that he walked out of the hospital room, the door falling closed behind him.
Say something...
"Welcome one of the Keyblade's chosen. Number XIII, Roxas."
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A/N: Sooooo it's been quite a long time hasn't it? I don't write nearly as much as I used to I'm so sorry xDD my style may have matured and changed quite a bit over these years too. Omg is anyone even still watching me on here? Anyone who isn't a Yuffentine fan and wants to throw things because I haven't written it for em? XD Well I'm not back but consider this a sign that I'm not dead either xDD I may have a few more tagging along eventually. The ending of this fic gave me such hell. I hope it did its job and gave you much feels though! Leave a review and tell me whatcha think! :3