Okay, I'm going to bed now haha. What is wrong with me.

"Dude... you are so fucking drunk."

Mary was giggling uncontrollably, draped across the shirtless torso of Terry, the only thing covering her the incredibly buff arms of her husband wrapping her in a cocoon of warmth. His fingers gently traced across every square inch of her bare back, all the way down her waist... he was tempted to go for those thighs next.

"Hehehehehehehe... eeehheheheheheheheee... I duno waah the fuuuugh King put in thaaaahhht..." Terry slurred. "But it waaaas fuuughing GOOOOOOOD..."

"I can't believe you managed to hold onto me for the ride home." Mary giggled.

"I was squeeezin yahr tihhhts fo dear liiiive...hahahahaha..."

"Hahahahaha! Do you realize how retarded you sound right now?" Mary was close to exploding unontrollably.

"Hehehehe... ahahaha... lezzz figh Mary. Lez fuckin thro dowwn. I'll piih you in thuuh seconds..."

"Dude... your ground game is fucking ZERO."

"I FUGHING IVEENTED GROU GAAM!" Terry's voice abruptly shifted from 10 to about 80.

Mary officially lost it. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! You are so cute right n-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Terry didn't even know what the hell he said, but Mary laughing caused him to start laughing too. Mary didn't care that it was at his expense, at his most vulnerable... seeing the powerful, proud Lone Wolf in this state was the cutest thing ever, not to mention HILARIOUS. This mere reality was enough to have her in tears for a good three minutes, as she bounced up and down on Terry's chest, which was shaking uncontrollably with his own laughter, for the simple fact that he was drunk and Mary's own gales of laughter were contagious.

Things seemed to have reached a climactic level of joy between the two bare, bedsheet-clad lovers... until the abrupt next words from Terry's mouth silenced Mary stiff.

"...Ahhh cahn looze you..."

"...What?"

Mary's face went solid as she reached over and turned on the lamp, to get a proper look at her husband. And when the light came on... there was a river of tears trailing down each eye socket. It was also at that moment Mary realized, his chest was no longer shaking with laughter... but sobs.

"Ahhh cahn loose you Mary..." Terry sobbed. "Y...y...you...rrrr all ahhh havv..."

"Terry..." Mary whispered sharply. "Will you calm down?"

"I caaahn liv wivouuu you... I caaahn... I'll fuggih die... if I looze you... I'll fuggih kihhh myselvvvv..."

"Terry, shut up." Mary commanded. "You're not going to lose me."

"I... zzwere to Gah... I'll fuggin... die... wivout you..."

"If you don't shut up, I'm going to put you to sleep." Mary was far beyond playing around at this point. "Now listen, you big drunken baby. You need to SUCK IT UP. I'm not going anywhere. You're not going to fucking lose me. EVER. Got it?"

"...Yaah promizzze?"

"I promise."

"Pleez don leeeeev meeeeee!"

"TERRY!"

It was no use. Terry's face scrunched up and he was full-on bawling. Snot began to form on his upper lip, a string of drool started hanging lower and lower from the corner of his lips. He tried to suck it all up at once... but his deep breath failed and he instead expelled much worse from his facial orifices.

"Oh sweet Jesus..."

Mary just turned back off the light, planted a kiss on his chest, and buried her face in his left pectoral. She figured it was best to just let Terry sleep it off. She was too tired to try and console him, especially in this state.

...As she lay there, her own tears started to fall soon after. She had no room to talk, after all.