AN: Dedicated to William De Worde, an awesome bud. Read and review please!
He stands there, every year, every month, nearly every week. This is a widely known fact among the people of Konoha, but no one really knows why.
He's not there every minute of every hour of every day, of course, his rank as a ninja doesn't allow him to be idle on one thing for long, mentally or physically. But even on a mission away from the village, he shuts his eyes and pictures the familiar image of the stone that has been carving itself into his mind for what seems like forever.
The older generation of shinobi knows whose death began this long, repetitive ritual. They think they understand why this lone man goes there, it's obvious! To simply pay respects for his dear fallen, right? Since he is a veteran he has a plethora of dead comrades to mourn for.
That is only a miniscule part of the reason, so they are wrong. Even if they apparently 'get it', they don't know why he continues to constantly head there.
('There's a limit, it's been so long. Sure it was tragic, but you've given up enough of your time. There is no need to act like those incidents happened last week, so hurry up and move on already!')
These whispers often follow him as common, shushed opinions.
When that man was younger, he had someone he looked up to, revering and loving him with a passion. That someone he strove to be equivalent to, his goal in life. And then one day he was treated to the sight of that idol's bloody, cooling corpse.
When that man was younger, he was motivated, spirited, happy until he found his father's dead body.
That spirited young boy learned to be cold and apathetic. He figured that all the pain and anguish he felt was a result of feelings. Look how easily love for his father shifted to horror and trauma! Look then at how quickly his cheeriness melted, leaving an empty shell. Emotions were terrible, crippling burdens that held you back, he decided, and so were so many people.
An unfeeling, hollow robot, really.
So he distanced himself from both of them. Sure, there were some cases he could not avoid, like his team. He kept close only to Minato-sensei, since he deserved respect. But other (weak) (stupid) people should not bother being around. Ninjas are supposed to at least follow rules and regulations, and be strong.
This mindset stuck with him for the longest time. The cliched prodigy, elitist and brilliant yet alone. In other words (his words) a complete bastard.
That is why he disliked people like him. He was loud, brash, and just annoying. He let emotions take over, and see, everyone saw him as an idiot, alas, his polar opposite.
Yet, at that one terrible, fateful mission at Kanabi Bridge the world swirled and changed. After a speech that really shouldn't have mattered so much, he didn't understand why, but he ran after to save Rin as well.
He was stabbed roughly.
With words.
He was hit brutally.
With clarity.
For once since his father's death, he felt. He felt shame. Anger. Spirit. Maybe it was how much emotion came through. Maybe it was how much sense it made.
As he ran, he felt his heart pounding, and thought only of his father. His former idol –father- was brave, strong but not strong enough. He cared for his friends, and the lone man realized he should continue to do so in his stead, and not be defiant to something his hero believed so strongly in.
And then of course, as Lady Luck would have it, the one that spurred all these racing thoughts died before he could thank him for letting him feel for the first time in forever. Another tragic happening was the fact that if the one that died for him (oh dreadful irony) stayed alive, he would be a true friend. And that hurt, knowing that it was now impossible.
There was not even a body to thank. It was crushed under those heavy rocks.
It was ridiculous, his life drastically changed, yet he could give no appreciation to his savior. He knew, he felt the relationship they could've had. It had been in the air between them.
The lone man never fully returned into his icy perspectives, even if his heart hurt. Consumed with guilt and inspiration, he continues to live for the one who taught him how.
There is more irony in how even now his name was taboo from the lips of most others, yet it's the name he stares at the most. That name belonging to that one boy.
He is not a robot anymore, he is a human with a name, with the ability to smile, get angry, cry.
When Hatake Kakashi stands in front of the memorial stone, it is painful. Kakashi goes there to feel. He is thankful. It makes him want to keep breathing and watching in place for Uchiha Obito.