Warnings- none really, a couple cuss words but that's about it..
Fic type-crack!! w00t! my first public crack fic!!
Disclaimer-neither FMA nor Shrek belong to me.
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"No," Edward said firmly as he tried to avoid his brother's pleading eyes. He would not give in damn it!
"Please," Alphonse begged, "he's not like other cats Ed, he's special!"
"Oh?" Ed raised an eyebrow skeptically, "'cause he looks like a normal marmalade tabby to me."
"No, no brother!" Al said excitedly, his eyes widening in a way that almost made Ed chuckle. "This cat," Al spoke slowly, trying to draw out the suspense, "you're never going to believe this but, this cat can talk!"
Ed couldn't stifle his laughter this time and broke into a fit of uncontained merriment. "It's true!" Al huffed.
"Riiight, okay then Al, let's see," he dropped down in front of the small orange animal residing beside Al's leg. "Hello kitty," Ed spoke condescendingly, "can you talk you little dishrag with legs?" Ed laughed evilly trying to tease his brother.
"Sí señor," the cat said. The cat said it! Ed's eyes widened in horror, "I-it-is it a chimera, or something?" He swallowed thickly, fearing the answer.
"Nope," Al said far too cheerfully, "but he can talk, I think he came back from the Gate with us by accident, tell him Puss!"
Before the cat had a chance to respond, Edward was yelling, "Al! If he came back from the Gate he could be dangerous...and...what did you just call him? Did you just say the 'P' word?! You know better!"
Al rolled his eyes, "He's fine brother, and his name is Puss, Puss in Boots to be exact."
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO DUMB HE DOESN'T KNOW BOOTS WHEN HE SEES THEM?!"
Suddenly the cat, Puss, stood on it's hind legs and began to speak, "May I interject? I'm not so certain about this 'Gate' you speak of, but I come from the land of Far, Far Away, and I humbly request your assistance in returning me to my home."
Ed stiffened, "No, if you're from beyond the Gate you're screwed because I'm never going back there again.
Al sighed but he couldn't really object, "Can he at least stay with us until he finds somewhere else to stay?" Al gave his brother his best puppy eyes and on top of that, the cat pulled the hat from his head ('How long had he been wearing a hat?' Ed wondered.) and gave Ed the cutest most sincere sparkling eyed gaze the boy had ever seen.
"Arrgh! Fine," Ed clutched his head in agony, "but Al,"
"Yeah?"
"He'd better be house trained!"
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So there you have it, the result of a brain tainted with FMA mixing with Shrek 2. Read and Review please! Also random thanks to everyone who's been reviewing/faving my stuff..you guys are love!