A/N: So I decided to write a OUAT fic at the behest of a friend who enjoys the series. Hopefully this shall not fail epically. Yada yada, I don't own the characters etc.

Chapter One: Lost

Regina was seriously considering calling New York City and requesting they relinquish their title 'the city that never sleeps' to Storybrooke. Or perhaps they could create their own moniker - "The city that never shuts up".

She had sleepily swiped away the call from Snow on her cell, though it was predictably followed up immediately by a call from Mr. Snow.

Sleep. Just one night's sleep was all she wanted. Regina was considering whether to create and consume one of her own poisoned apples when her cell vibrated on the nightstand again.

Through one half open eye, Regina perused her messages.

Snow: Regina, you need to get down to Gold's store, Emma is in trouble!

Regina: Great. On an unrelated subject, how do I do an ironic shocked face emoticon?

Snow: We need you now!

Charming: This is important Regina, this is no time for games, our daughter is in trouble!

Snow: Please Regina!

Ugh.

Just what she needed. Neediness: now in in stereo.

As she struggled out of her bed, arching her back to work out the kinks, she told herself she was doing this for Henry, not the walking cluster that was the Snow family. Besides, if she didn't get down to Gold's store, she could bet her last dollar that they would bring the problem to her house, and she'd only just had the carpets cleaned.

Still groggy, Regina trundled out the door, stuffing her hands deep into the pockets of her coat to keep out the cold. Sure, teleportation wasn't beyond her, but she wasn't eager to see what kind of hot mess Emma Swan had managed to get herself into this time.

"You might want to take that outside deary!" Gold said nervously as his eyes flicked over to the new arrival in his store. Regina surveyed the scene:

Gold was cowering behind the counter, his simpering wife hovering nearby looking confused.

The golden couple looked on at their daughter, who looked uncharacteristically flustered, and Regina quickly saw why; her hands flickered with blue-white sparks, and Swans expression indicated she had no idea why or how.

"Swan, if you're going to have a magical panic attack, can you at least do so during office hours?" Regina scowled.

Emma suddenly registered Regina arrival, and waved her sparking hands in her direction, sending a shower of blue into the air, "Regina, what do I do, I can't stop it!"

Regina let out a heavy deliberate sigh, "just...concentrate."

Emma's mouth screwed up into a scowl, "thanks sensei, I never would have thought of that. Why are you even here if you're not going to help?"

"Your Mommy and Daddy called and told me about your...magical incontinence, seemingly under the illusion that I could help in some way."

"You have to help her!" Snow cried. Predictably Charming wrapped a protective arm around her, the couple began to glare. Great. Glaring: now in stereo.

"If you're not going to help, why don't you just go!" Emma snapped, stretching out an arm abruptly toward the door. As she did, there was a flash of light, a high pitched whine, followed by silence and dark.

The shower of sparks that had near blinded her faded to blue and Emma realised she was looking at the sky and was distinctly horizontal.

Panic rushed over her as, for a moment, she thought she'd inadvertently obliterated Gold's store.

She was immediately disavowed of that idea when she pressed down with her palms, and found them sinking into soft, slightly damp sand.

"What the…" Emma mumbled. Before she could get herself upright, a dark shadow loomed above her.

"Of course you're here," Regina scowled down at her.

When Regina made no effort to help her up (not that Emma expected anything different) she struggled to her feet, brain throbbing in protest.

"Where are we?" Emma asked, blinking hard as her eyes adjusted to the light.

Regina stationed her hands on her hips, "let's see. You're here, we're in the middle of nowhere with no civilisation to be found for miles around...I'm going to go with hell."

Emma rubbed tiredly at her temples, "seriously Regina…"

Regina rolled her eyes, "I have no idea. Your magical mishap sent us here. I thought you might know."

Emma took in her surroundings. It was as though she had tripped and fallen into a vacation brochure. Crisp blue water lapping against the beach which stretched off as far as the eye could see in one direction, and rugged cliffs in the other. Palm trees spotted up and down the coast becoming a dense tropical forest further from the sea.

"Looks like we've been transported somehow," Emma said, immediately wishing she could retract her words. Regina gave her the inevitable 'are you the dumbest person in the universe?' look. A couple of steps up on her standard 'are you the dumbest person on the planet' look.

"Detective Swan, your insights are impeccable," Regina scoffed.

"Whatever," Emma muttered, "can you take us back?"

"Sure," Regina said, "I thought I'd stay here instead and spend time with my favourite human."

"Ugh, please stop talking," Emma said, "my head hurts."

She withdrew her cellphone, but as she feared, there was no network. It was possible it was just her crummy cell provider, but there was another fear lurking in the back of her mind.

"We might be in trouble," Emma sighed, "it's possible we've been transported to another world. We need to figure out where we are."

"Sure, let's go ask at the tourist booth," Regina said flippantly, gesturing off into the empty distance.

"Can you not be sarcastic for one second?" Emma muttered.

"No," Regina replied.

Emma dusted off her jeans to no avail, damp sand was a bastard to get out, "whatever, let's just try to figure out where we are. Is there any spell you can use to..."

Regina cut her off, "sorry, I don't have magical GPS. But if you knew how magic worked, we wouldn't be here."

At first Regina had trouble identifying the feeling that rose inside her when Emma cast her eyes down to her feet, her cheeks turning a faint shade of red at the latest sarcastic barb she had thrown out.

Then she recalled the last time she'd felt that way.

A few years ago, after much sincere pleading, she had given in and got Henry a puppy. The little furry beast was a nightmare. She was at the end of her tether by week two.

When she arrived home to find yet another copious puddle in the lounge, she was ready to summon up a fireball and barbecue the cuddly canine.

And then he trotted in, sitting next to the puddle whimpering, his ears pinned back to his head in contrition.

Rather than reduce the puppy to ashes, she had relented, tickling him behind the ears.

She wasn't about to tickle Emma behind the ears, even if she was an unhousetrained magical puppy, but it was clear the other woman was fully aware that her screw up had got them into this mess, and she was accordingly embarrassed. Regina was feeling…

Sympathy?

Ugh, maybe she was getting soft.

Regina quickly shook that thought out of her mind. She was categorically not going easy on Swan because she felt bad for her. She was being practical, they needed to work out what the hell happened and make it unhappen. That would be easier if Swan was onboard instead of sulking. There would be time to rub Emma's nose in this mistake later.

"Alright," Regina sighed, "I don't see any obvious landmarks, so our best shot is to work out how we got here. What were you thinking about just before you did whatever you did?"

Emma shrugged, "I was thinking you should leave, I stuck out my hand toward the door, and then everything went dark."

"Okay, try to do it again," Regina said.

Emma closed her eyes, raising her hand. After a few seconds, she shook her head.

"Nothing, I don't think…"

"Wait," Regina said, she held her palm flat and focused as she had dozens of times before. Her hand remained empty. She tried again, but still, no fire flickered to life in her hand, "it seems you've taken us to a world without magic. Just great."

"I didn't mean to!" Emma said, and Regina immediately felt her skin prickle with rage.

"Oh great, you've already learned your Mother's catchphrase!"

Emma crossed her arms high over her chest, "whatever Regina. My parents will figure out how to get us back, they'll come for us."

"With that crack team of geniuses on the case I'm sure we'll be out of her by the next millennia,"

"We might be stuck here together for a while," Emma said, "we should at least try to get along."

Regina crossed her arms, her brow arching and Emma decided further words were unnecessary and instead started walking along the coast, not bothering to look over her shoulder to check if Regina was following. She'd come along eventually, and if she didn't, that was one hundred percent her problem. Emma was not a babysitter.

Regina waited until Emma became nothing more than a fuzzy silhouette on the horizon before following, at walking pace of course. It wouldn't do to have Swan think she was needed.

Regina might not have her magic, but she still had her pride.

Emma was unsure how far she had walked (occasionally glancing over her shoulder to ensure Regina hadn't gone astray) but the sun had begun to set and she had come up with nothing. As much as Emma wasn't the sit and wait kind it seemed there was nothing else to be done.

She set herself down on a conveniently located log and waited for Regina, who had slowed to a dawdle now she had spotted Emma waiting. Why did she have to wind up stranded with Regina? Of all the people to accidentally transport… at this point, she'd have taken even taken Gold. At least he'd put his snark on the back burner until they figured a way out of wherever the hell it was they'd been sent to.

"So...what now?" Regina asked when she finally reached the log. The other woman brushed her hand across it, affecting an exaggerated grimace before opting to remain standing. Of course a woman more accustomed to upholstered thrones found nature too gross to house her royal caboose.

"It'll be dark soon," Emma said, "so I guess we better setup camp."

Regina crossed her arms, "so we just camp out here and wait. That's your plan?"

"If you want to break your ankle traipsing through the jungle in the dark, be my guest," Emma spat flippantly.

"Alright fine, where do we start?"

"We make a fire," Emma said, "and uh, build a shelter of some sort…"

Regina narrowed her eyes, "do I look like a Girl Scout to you?"

"I grew up in New York and my childhood wasn't exactly filled with camping trips," Emma muttered.

"So how do we make fire without magic?" Regina said.

Emma got to her feet and began picking up loose twigs in a purposeful manner. She didn't have any idea how to start a fire, but she wasn't about to let Regina know that, "we need fuel, and uh...tinder and something to create a spark," she rattled off as authoritatively as she could.

Regina let out a long sigh, and Emma continued her search. She had defeated curses, averted disaster. Surely the elements and a snarky former monarch couldn't defeat her.