Gabriel groaned and smacked his forehead on the table he was sitting at. Why? Why him? He fell for the one person that thought he was a stuck up twat. Which, he probably was, but that was besides point. Slowly, the sniper lifted his head, his gray eyes flicking around the room, looking for that one person that could make his heart flutter like a hummingbird's wings. The Brit chewed on his bottom lip slightly as he searched.
A head of slightly curly black hair caught his gaze and his heart doubled in its efforts to pump blood around his body. There he was. Evan Smith. Computer Analyst and hacker of the squad Bobbi, Gabriel's old friend, was assigned to. He had fair, slightly curly black hair, stern green eyes with square, nerdy glasses, and nicely tanned skin. The sniper groaned and smacked his forehead against the table again. The damn idiot had him wrapped around his pinkie and he wasn't even aware of it! DAMMIT!
A large meaty hand gently patted his back with soft thuds,
"Leetle sniper shouldn't do that. Need brain intact." A Russian voice gently rumbled above him. Gabriel moaned in despair against the wood of the table, ignoring Vladimir as much as he could before forcing himself to answer the huge mountain of a man.
"It wouldn't do me any good! Look! He's a goddamn perfect git!" The sniper growled, "And then I'm a... stuck up… boring… Brit…" he repeated the words Evan had uttered upon their first meeting.
"Leetle glasses man is blunt, but Vlad is sure he not mean what he say." Vladimir told him in broken English, when Gabriel just groaned, yet again, he continued, "War is very bad thing. It takes precious things from us. Is leetle sniper willing to let glasses man go without telling him how he feels? Only get one chance, think carefully." Vlad warned him quietly, "Listen to giant man. He knows." He gestured to himself.
Gabriel didn't reply, but quietly thought on his words, and the meaning behind them. Even after they left to go do their respective duties. Vladimir's declaration echoed in Gabriel's ears for a long while. Until the end of the day, when he walked across the island to the barracks for visitors, where he was staying. He barely heard Vlad mention there being a thunderstorm as he entered his room and laid down without changing or getting out of his clothes. Gabriel was hardly even aware of dropping his sniper gear off the side of the bed, his thoughts were so consuming.
He felt confused. Conflicted. Should he take that leap and tell Evan? His pride screamed no and stomped it's foot angrily. His heart whispered a small, tired yes. A part of him that was tired of running, tired of fighting, and absolutely sick of being prideful. Sick of struggling to uphold a certain image in order to keep people from fucking with him; to keep himself from being betrayed or hurt.
Gabriel clenched his eyes shut. Would he be willing to try to change for the better for that man? His chest tightened. He wanted to. God he wanted to.
But could he?
He wanted to be able to come home to a warm embrace, to snuggle up with someone when it came time to sleep, someone to hold him when he'd had a bad day, and in turn, he wanted to hold that someone when they needed it. And he wanted that someone to be Evan. He wanted to give the hacker all of himself. Gabriel wanted all of the hacker he could hold. All of that other man's heart.
And yet, a sense of painful- almost but not quite- fear held him back. His chest was tight, and his mind heavy. The sniper had never been very good with making decisions for himself. Hell, he could barely even take care of himself. He joined the army because they made all the decisions for him.
But… but what?
Somewhere along the way of his troubled thoughts, Gabriel fell asleep.
He didn't know how or when he had gotten here. There was hardly any light, it was dark and dingy. The metal hallway he was in kept… moving? It was hard to explain. It was almost as if it twisted and warped. As if it were breathing, and yet gravity held it steady, fixated. It made no sense. But when did anything make total sense?
The sniper tilted his head, looking around in confusion, "Hello?" pride kept his voice calm, but it could not still the frightened beating of his heart, nor calm the prickling along the back of his neck as hair rose to attention.
Something was very wrong here.
Gabriel began to move down the metal clad hall, wanting to find a way out of the creepy hallway, lit only by flickering torches hung along the way. Whispers filled the silence as he continued, steadily growing louder before steadying at a level of noise he could hear clearly.
"Look… it's him…"
"All his fault…
"Dead… because… him…"
"BE GONE!"
The last words were a snarling roar, accompanied by a large blast of air nearly throwing Gabriel onto his back. The sniper grunted and bent halfway over, bracing himself. He just barely kept his balance. Gabriel managed to stand against the force of the gale before it increased to where he was thrown off of his feet and tossed back down the hall like a plastic bag in the wind. The sniper yelled, his long hair breaking free of it's ponytail, black hair streaked with gray was thrown everywhere- mainly in his face.
Gabriel fought and struggled, but simply continued to bounce and roll along. Oh it hurt. Metal flooring came in contact with flesh and the jagged edges of bone- particularly his hips, knees and elbows- repeatedly, making Gabriel howl in protest at the pain. He flailed his arms, trying to stop his momentum. Panic was mounting at the deficit of feasible sense it all made, and his distinct lack of control. Everything was spiralling out against his will, as if to purposely punish him and throw it all back in his face.
But just as quickly as it had begun, it ended. Gabriel snarled as he was thrown out of the hallway by one last gust, and his body was left to lie still in a very open room. He landed awkwardly, somewhere on his chest and face, his lower half thrown into the air and curled over his back. It wasn't too uncomfortable for the sniper. Gabriel had been in much worse positions in order to blow someone's head off, sometimes for over twenty-four hours at a time.
His bladder ached at the mere thought of it, however.
Scowling, the mercenary climbed to his feet tiredly, rubbing his face and chest. That had really fucking hurt. Goddamn shitty wind! The sniper let out a string of expletives that would make any sailor blush. Then, groaning, his stress let out to some degree, he stopped and looked around. He was standing in a round, open room that was lit with more torches, making everything more then a little dingy, and throwing shadows everywhere. The room was covered in doors along every wall. It was impossible to tell where exactly, he had come from.
Especially since Gabriel had literally tumbled head over heels along the way, disorientating his sense of direction.
Turning around in circles, intent on trying to get back up the hallway, and yet hopelessly lost, Gabriel found himself at an impasse.
"GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!" He shrieked angrily at last, fed up with the piercing, penetrating silence rattling in his ears and his lack of progress or decisiveness. Stomping irritably, he marched over to a random door and ripped it open. It was pitch black inside. Snorting, rolling his eyes, Gabriel stepped forward…
And fell.
The bad mouthed Brit bellowed in startled fear, flailing as the light from the door vanished and he fell further and further down the hole. Gabriel might have screamed something intelligent along the way down, or it may have just been more mindless cursing; honestly, it was all lost to the rush of air and his own overwhelming panic. He clawed at the darkness, desperate to stop his descent. Yet nothing he did saved him from smashing back first into the ground below. The air was knocked from his lungs, sending his body into a sort of shock. Painfully, the sniper fought to suck air in through his mouth. After a moment, breathing became easier and he groaned in pain as he laid there.
God, everything hurt. Fucking hell!
Rolling slowly onto his front, the sniper slowly pushed off of the ground with his hands and stood. It was still unpleasant and fairly dark, but light was coming from somewhere- even if he couldn't directly make out from where.
A sudden, more intense, white light off to the side caught Gabriel's attention and he turned towards it in confusion. It was far more bright and concentrated then the faint light that seemed to filter over everything else. There, laying in the centre of the puddle, was Evan's body. It looked broken and twisted, blood leaking from his chest between slim, pale, perfect fingers, only to stain the dingy metal floor a light pink.
Almost as if he had fallen from a great height, hitting various things on his way down- or was hit with some form of large vehicle.
His glasses laid, broken, off to the side, near his head, which was twisted to the side. It was as if they had been knocked off forcefully. Evan rested on his back, his other arm stretched out to the side, one leg drawn up, the knee in the air. His other was laid out flat. Yet that laid out arm looked like it wasn't supposed to twist that way, and that laid out leg had bone sticking out of the thigh. Gabriel almost vomited all over the floor. He had seen worse, being on the battlefield and watching Bobbi at work. It was a given, taking into consideration their line of work- but somehow this seemed worse.
Somehow, this was different.
The man he had fallen for looked pained, his pale, blood drained face twisted in a silent cry of agony, glassy eyes staring blankly upwards.
Intelligence and any sense of being decidedly gone.
Gabriel's hands shook as one clenched into a fist and the other raised towards Evan's corpse, fingers stretching out, as though to touch him. A broken cry left his trembling lips as he threw himself forward. Evan wasn't dead, Evan couldn't be dead! He hadn't told him! Gabriel still needed to tell him! Dammit, dammit, dammit! The sniper dropped to his knees at the hacker's side.
"Fuck'dammit!" The Brit gently slid one hand under the other man's head, his other arm wrapping around his upper body. With a utmost care, as if handling a tempermental bomb on a mission, Gabriel drew Evan up and towards himself.
"No, no, no, come on, wake up." The sniper pleaded, "Please! You're not dead! LOOK AT ME! Look at me, damn you!" He shook the corpse slightly in an attempt to gain its attention.
No reaction. Nothing.
A sob broke free of the prideful man's lips, and he clutched Evan close, shoulders shaking, face hidden in the already cold shoulder. He was barely aware of the hot tears coursing down his cheeks.
"Goddammit… I… I love you…" Gabriel choked out the words he had tried so hard to hide, to keep himself from saying even to himself. Desperation coursed through his veins, "God, PLEASE, I love him!" The Atheist pleaded to a God he didn't believe in. A God he hoped would have mercy on the youth in his arms, "Please…"
His plea wouldn't be answered. He was forgotten, unseen. Evan was dead. Gone. And it was all his fault.
A hand suddenly grabbed his shirt collar tightly and Gabriel was ripped down to where his ear was near Evan's lips, "Tell me." the words were hissed. The sniper swore his heart exploded and stopped simultaneously.
And then Gabriel bolted straight up in bed with a cry of surprise and panic. Fearful gray eyes darted around the room, long hair falling into his face. A quick scan told him the hair band had snapped.
"A dream… just a nightmare…" Gabriel murmured, trying to assure himself. But those dead, glazed, beautiful green eyes seemed to stare at him accusingly every time he blinked, and those last words echoed in his ears.
'Tell me.'
He needed to tell Evan, needed him to know. Because tomorrow might not come. Because he might lose his chance. War was here, pounding at their door, and God help them because it was going to drag everything from them it could.
Gabriel desperately threw himself from the bed, heavy combat boots thudding against the floor as a boom of thunder echoed around and a shot of lightning momentarily lit up the room. The sniper barely paid any mind to the storm raging. He could hear the rain pounding angrily against everything it could as he careened out his door and down the hall, arms held out in front of him to throw himself off any walls or objects that got in his way. His one tracked, focused mind determined to get out the door. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Gabriel was thankful for having not undressed for bed today.
Everything was a strange, too fast, and yet too slow blur, as sleep clung to him like a fog.
Gabriel tripped and stumbled more than once, but he simply shoved himself back up onto his feet and continued running. Somehow he managed to get to the door leading out, he slammed the door open and threw himself outside, the door banging closed behind him. It was raining cats and dogs outside, as if someone had decided to open up a waterfall right above the island. In mere seconds, the sniper was drenched.
Gabriel couldn't find it in himself to give a single damn.
He began to run for the base, which was a good hundred or more feet away, only to realize his boots had automatically sunk a good three to five inches into the mud. Snarling with rage, Gabriel ripped his shoes free and began his stomping run towards the base, closer to Evan. He needed to tell him. Needed him to know! And no small bit of mud was going to stop him.
Lightning cracked overhead and thunder bellowed in its wake, strong winds shoved back against Gabriel's body, pelting him with large bullets of rain, and the mud grasped much more wildly at his boots, as if sensing his determination and seeking to thwart him regardless. The sniper fought against it all, determined to get to Evan and TELL him. Gabriel threw his weight, his muscle, his everything into crossing the distance, despite everything.
When he reached the base's human sized door, he grabbed it and ripped it open before throwing himself through and slamming it closed behind him. For a brief moment, the sniper leaned back against the door, heaving with exertion.
"...Gabriel…? Are you alright?" Gray eyes shot up to see Lennox's concerned face,
"No." The sniper was snippy and blunt, "I have to tell him. Have to tell him now." His one track mind wouldn't let him make any other reply, but that wasn't unusual for the sniper, and Lennox was used to it, at least to some degree. Before the Major could question him further, Gabriel raced past him and down the aisle the vehicles parked on either side had left. Gabriel lunged past the red and blue semi, stumbling with exhaustion and determination before tossing his abused body past the doorway and into the corridor.
Everything hurt, everything screamed and protested against his abuse. Gabriel still didn't give a damn.
He was leaving a trail of water and mud, but he couldn't bring himself to care or even pay any attention to it. He barreled down the hall, almost there, and nearly bowled Bobbi over. He took the time to gently steady her, impatience boiling in his blood. The mute looked up at him in confusion,
"I gotta tell him." Was all Gabriel told her as he let go of her and bolted down the rest of the length of hall in front of him. He whipped around a corner and continued, barreling past soldiers. Since he didn't know them, Gabriel just shoved past them. They weren't like Bobbi. They didn't deserve his consideration. They hadn't earned it like she had.
Yes, he was an asshole. No, he didn't care.
Stumbling, he came to a stop in front of Evan's door. Breathless, unable to wait a second longer, Gabriel began to pound on the door, his mind a jumbled mess. He kept pounding until the door suddenly ripped itself open, revealing a glaring Evan. Gabriel only stopped a moment to take his appearance in. Glasses missing revealing a pair of very alive, green orbs, white button up shirt with the top two buttons undone, letting a rather muscled chest peek through, no pants, just a pair of boxers, bare feet, and messy bed hair.
Evan gapped at the man at his door. Gabriel was heaving for breath, eyes wild and wide, like an animal's, the gray darkened to a smoky color. His long hair was free of its usual ponytail and dripping wet, falling around his waist with the weight of the water- he himself was soaked to the bone. His white tank top was wet and see through, revealing a nicely toned chest, his boots were covered in mud. Honestly, he was a hell of a sight, looking like he had battled his way through a damn hurricane.
"What the hell is going on-" He was suddenly interrupted by a pair of warm, chapped lips on his own.
Gabriel didn't seem in control of his own actions anymore. He had grabbed two whole fistfuls of the other man's white shirt, had dragged him forward and up- as the sniper was taller than him- and then proceeded to kiss him senseless. Evan let out a muffled cry before slowly, hesitantly giving in. He wasn't sure whether the sniper was crazy or just insane, but he was fairly sure he had lost his mind somewhere along the way.
As long as he kept kissing him like that though, Evan was pretty sure he wouldn't mind.
Finally, Gabriel released him to suck in much needed breath,
"Dammit pretty boy!" The sniper cursed, "You've got me turning on my goddamn head you twat! And you're not even aware of it!" Evan could only open and close his mouth like a fish at that, his head spinning. Finally everything seemed to register as the Brit let him go with a heavy breath.
"You brat! Your dripping wet! IN! Now!" The hacker grabbed the sniper and yanked him into the room, slamming the door closed, "You're lucky my roommate is out. Start stripping dammit! You'll get a cold!" the younger man fussed, shooting off into his room to get the taller man something to wear. Gabriel chuckled roughly and did as he was told, not arguing. Evan shot back in, quick as lightning, and nearly tripped over his feet and the half naked sniper. True, Gabriel didn't possess a rock hard, muscled body like Vladimir...
But he was lean and wiry with smooth skin and enough muscle to make anyone with half an iota of attraction to the male side of the human species start to drool a little.
"Somethin' wrong?" Gray eyes looked over at him and Evan shook his mind free of the thoughts that were dragging him down into the gutter.
"No. Here." The hacker threw a set of clothes at the other man, who caught them neatly. Smirking, as if aware of the smaller man's thoughts, the sniper began pulling the other clothes on. Evan scooped the wet clothes up as Gabriel did so and moved into the bathroom to hang them up.
Dressed in a dry, black t-shirt and boxers, that felt about a size too small and a little tight, Gabriel stood awkwardly, unsure of what to do now. The desperateness from before was melting away. What now? He didn't know how to proceed. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. He wasn't exactly regretting his decision to come here, or his actions regarding Evan thus far, but… this wasn't easy.
Gabriel was no virgin. At thirty-two he'd been around the block a couple of times- but only with nameless people from bars or whores from strip clubs. He was bisexual and bitter. He kept others away and had never had a real relationship. Evan was quickly changing that, giving him a sense of warm stability. A want for something like that.
Specifically with Evan. He wanted to try. Gabriel wanted to love and protect the little hacker. Wanted to hold him close and call him his. gabriel was broken from his thoughts and brought back to reality when the object of his thoughts suddenly took his hand. Gray eyes focused on greens that put emeralds to shame.
"I think there are some things we need to discuss." Evan stated softly, a much needed aura of calm radiating from him. Gabriel swallowed the fear of the unknown welling up, and nodded, taking comfort in Evan's presence.
Especially since he didn't seem to be outright rejecting him just yet- right?
He followed as the shorter man pulled him along over to a couch, becoming pliant to the other's silent orders and wants. Evan pushed him onto the couch first, then sat beside him, curling his legs up under his butt to keep them warm.
"...What was that for?" Evan was first to speak, his analytic mind already attempting to pull apart the cynic's actions. Gabriel leaned on his knees and ran a hand through his long hair, wincing when he hit knots,
"I… I'm not sure." He was unsure, uncertain, he wanted to hide. All his bravado, all of his courage, was quailing under Evan's scrutiny.
What the hell was he supposed to say?
"Bull. Fucking. Shit." Evan's voice was cool and measured, "You said I had you spinning on your head. Explain." Fuck. He was in trouble now. There was no backing out of it now, he supposed- not that he wanted to.
Gabriel inhaled slowly, then exhaled through his mouth before answering, "You've got me wrapped around your pinkie, you oblivious ass." he grunted.
"What if I did know?"
"Then I'd be pissed because I've been struggling with this since I saw you."
"...And if you weren't alone?" There was something soft and decidedly dangerous about Evan's tone,
"I'd snog the shit out of you right here and now." Gabriel leveled Evan with an intent stare that made him shiver.
"...If I wanted you to?"
"You really don't want to go there." Gabriel warned gruffly, and Evan seemed to accept it, inclining his head slightly as he considered the other with more warmth than before.
"So, is there a reason you charged through the storm and nearly broke my door down?" The amused, dry drawl made the sniper huff, his cheeks warming as he looked off to the side, his damn pride reared it's head again, but Gabriel smashed it back down decisively.
Not this time.
"I… needed… no… need to tell you something." No, Gabriel still needed to tell him. Saying otherwise would be in past tense, and it hadn't passed completely. It was still there.
"What is it?" The other man crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at the Brit. Gabriel fought with himself for a moment,
"I… dammit…" Growling, the battle worn, older man twisted so he was in front of the other man, and trapped Evan between both his arms. They caged Evan in, braced against the back of the couch on either side of him.
"Damn you Evan, damn you. You're pulling me down and I can't stop it." Gabriel cursed quietly, exhausted. He was so tired of fighting, so tired of chasing something he could never quite see in the distance,
"Then just give in." Evan murmured, as if hearing his thoughts, cloaked green eyes staring up at the chiseled face above him.
"...Then I hope you won't pull that damn trigger." Gabriel mumbled touching his forehead to Evan's slowly, feeling himself shake. And then, all at once…
He let go.
"...I… really… like you… I love… you…" The words were halting, slow, but willingly said. He clenched his gray eyes closed, waiting for the slap, the punch, the anger, the fear, anything. He waited for the outburst. The hate. He was used to that; always had been.
It never came. Instead, Gabriel was startled to feel hesitant, soft, inexperienced, questioning lips against his own. Just when he was going to return the affection, they drew back. Gabriel's eyes flickered opened, fixating questioningly on the hacker in front of him. A shy smile played at Evan's pink mouth.
"...I really like you, too. And… I think… I might love you." Evan murmured, fingers reaching out to touch the older man's chest. The sniper stared down at him with wide eyes, silent, mind racing. He returned the affections. He hadn't been alone in his feelings. They were returned. "Are you… alright…? Gabriel…?" It was the first time Evan had ever said his name, and it made his heart pound. The sound of his name leaving those lips made him breathless, "Are-" Lips suddenly smashed into Evan's.
It didn't matter. A pent up, build up of emotion needed to be released, and Gabriel was more naturally impulsive than his job often allowed him to be.
Evan returned the kiss until Gabriel pulled back and nuzzled his face into his shoulder tenderly, pure relief and tender affection flooding the older man's body. Evan chuckled and wrapped his arms around the larger man, and his hug was returned almost immediately. Thunder boomed suddenly and the hacker inhaled sharply, jumping slightly and practically hiding in Gabriel's chest. The sniper blinked down at him in response, startled and uncertain, until it clicked.
It wasn't hard to put together.
Evan had a fear of storms. Half smiling with gruff affection, Gabriel twisted his body, pulling the younger man along with him, and he resituated them both.
Carefully, Gabriel laid against the couch, back flat against the back of the furniture, body stretched out lithely along its length, and cuddled Evan to his chest. The hacker squawked indignantly, to which the sniper chuckled huskily in response. The younger man scowled up at Gabriel, even as his heart swelled with affection.
The larger man simply smirked and snuggled with him, pleased with himself. Evan rolled his eyes and tucked himself into Gabriel's chest, feeling protected from the storm outside that raged away angrily. They laid, snuggled together, in silence for several moments before Gabriel broke it quietly,
"So… does this make us… a couple?" He wouldn't risk looking at the man who had taken off with his heart like a reckless child, despite his built up courage used to ask such a question.
"If that's what you want." Evan murmured against him, "I certainly do. The thought of having someone, and belonging to someone, is a very nice one."
"I'm glad." Gabriel smiled and gently squeezed him, making Evan grunt, then yelp as he was snuggled fiercely.
One thing he would soon discover, was that his new boyfriend was one hell of a cuddle addict.