Amelia had received a text from Maggie, attached was a postcode and a flat number asking her to meet there in half an hour. Amelia was thankful at least someone in her life had not left her or made her feel worthless. She had only bumped into Maggie while she tried to leave undetected with a bag across her shoulder and larger one dragging by her hand the night before. She had to explain the situation, how their so-called sister or her dead brothers widow had kicked her out and told her where she stood in her life. Maggie hadn't replied, only put her arms tightly around her sister. "You'll always be mine!" she whispered truthfully. Amelia knew she couldn't stay any longer. Her mind was gone. It had blown up.

She pulled up the car to the apartment block. It looked posh, with balconies attached to every apartment. Taking the keys out she saw Maggie's car pull up next to her.

"Hey" she smiled. She could see the sadness behind her eyes. She wondered what the house had been like, how her nephew and nieces were, if Zola was getting up in the middle of night and no one was tucking her back in bed with her teddy tightly back up her arm.

"Their fine... If that's what you're thinking about" Maggie said. She knew how much they meant to Amelia. She may not openly admit it but they were the ones who managed to make her smile when everything seemed pointless. Amelia nodded slowly staring at nothing in particular. "

Thank you for this" she decided to break the silence. Maggie had walked ahead towards her old flat. Her parents had set her up here when she first moved here. Despite living with Meredith she had kept it in case anything happened. And now she had a found perfect person to use it.

"It needs a bit of a clean" she smirked seeing the windowsill that covered in dust, cleaning wasn't her strong point.

"It's perfect, thank you." Amelia said. She didn't want this to be what she considered home for a while but there was no going back or changing someone so head strong. She was stuck here for time being til she worked out how next steps.

"If you need anything you'll call right?" Maggie's voice finally showed her concern. She hadn't understood why her sisters couldn't simply work through their problems though she knew that avoiding the issue also worked. Amelia smiled and nodded.

"Sure" she laughed lightly trying to make the situation less awkward. She wasn't used to people caring about her, it made a part of her want to runaway to already avoid the disappointment she'd soon bring.

"I'll see you tomorrow then yeah?" Maggie asked. She had already seen the rotas, so she knew Amelia would be in but she wanted to make sure for herself that she could cope with it. Both Owen and Meredith were working tomorrow evening.

"Yep" she popped the p before revoking back to silence.

/

Amelia had woken up the next morning in slight confusion at the bright light attacking her face from all angles. She then remembered she wasn't in her room, with her expensive blinds that stopped early morning wake ups. She got dressed and headed out the door to work. Thankful the apartment wasn't that far, maybe 10-20 mins drive down the highway. She parked in her usual spot and walked into the hospital. She checked her top before flattening it down anyway. She wanted to go in today looking better than she had yesterday. She was fine she told herself. She would be fine. She was a freaking superhero, she said aloud with a smirk curling into the corner of her lip.

She walked into the chaotic ER. Cases were spread across the pit everywhere. April was shouting orders to interns, as they seemed hopeless in their tasks in such a crowded space. Amelia grabbed a gown from the rack and dug herself into the centre of the mess. She knew her department would be busy today with the trauma cases as it always leads to serious brain casualties. It was like salt and pepper.

"Where do you want me?" Amelia asked April. She smiled thankful someone superior was here to help out. April pointed out.

"Over there, bay 5, possible skull injury" she explained. Amelia nodded and pointed to some interns to take with her and out of the way of other doctors trying to do their work.

Owen entered the trauma and went straight to April. "Get start to the shift hunt" she laughed. Only their humour was understood by each other. He slid his hand across his head taking in the surroundings before asking where he was needed. Now he was here he could help process and run the department alongside April.

"Bay 5, Amelia is there as well. I think there's a possible chest collapse" April informed him. He nodded. He wanted to see her, to explain, to apologise about the other night. He knew he was pushing her away yet his conscience allowed him. He didn't want to be confronted yet he needed her, he didn't know how to be about things that had happened. He'd buried them away and when they came back the last thing he wanted to do was stay and talk. He wanted to avoid every problem and run. Except he run from Amelia and hurt her.

"Dr. Shepherd" he nodded to her, she blanked him and carried on accessing the patient. "Wilson, what's going on here?" He asked Jo for the lowdown on the case while read the sats and looked at the scans in the file that had already been taken.

"I think he has a brain bleed I need to take him to surgery" Amelia announced. She wasn't so sure but as soon as the intern returned with the scans she was certain. "Now people!" she shouted.

The trolley roamed fastly down the corridors to open OR room. Amelia got scrubbed in and told the interns who had been helping her to go to the gallery and observe the surgery. Wilson helped Amelia into the gown and joined her inside. Amelia was thankful when she didn't see Owen scrubbing in with them. He must have stayed in the pit to carry on helping the less serious cases.

She knew now wasn't the time to allow her mind to finally think about Owen. She had someone on the table who needed her help, the help that only she could give if she was 100% focused and dedicated to him. "Lets save this guy's life shall we" Amelia stepped up and began to ask for the appropriate apparatus to begin the life changing operation.

Wilson kept looking up at Amelia throughout the surgery, something didn't seem right. She was doing everything professionally and medically correct but her face looked off.

"Is there something on my face Wilson?" Amelia asked without looking away from the open brain. Her hands were currently inside his skull trying to repair some of the most vital parts that made it function, and seeing out of the corner of her eye an intern staring concerned at her didn't help.

"It's just…well"

"Spit it out Wilson" Amelia snapped, the loud sound that came out of her mouth made her head hurt. She was tensed up from everything and was proun to headaches anyway.

"You don't look very well" She said, Amelia stopped and looked over. "I just umm" she began to pause she didn't know how to continue further. Amelia looked furious at her for pointing it out. She was trying to show the new interns in the gallery she was superior but being told by someone below her that she was getting sick made her feel embarrassed and small. It was quite clear she didn't look well but knowing everyone now knew didn't help matters further.

They carried on with the surgery without any further talking. Wilson didn't dare answer her mouth to ask if she could do anything she had learnt before and Amelia how had begun to feel worse had kept quiet scared she'd shake or sweat anymore.

"Wilson?" Amelia called out. Wilson came out of her daydream and looked up at her boss.

"Yes?" She replied.

"Grab me a container now" She instructed her. Wilson quickly grabbed one of the many containers in the OR and handed it over to Dr. Shepherd. "Hold it still now" She shouted. Within seconds Amelia removed the mask and began to empty her stomach into the plastic bowl. Wilson guided her out of the OR while keeping the bowl near her mouth as she still heaved up the fluid inside her stomach.

"Call Owen…" Amelia said breathlessly. "He can close" She said quickly before another gag turned into more upbringings of her stomach came to the surface. She kept awful and wanted nothing more than to be curled up at home with a toilet bowl of her own instead of being watched by her entire surgery team who were waiting anxiously for another doctor to arrive and carry on.

Amelia changed out of her gowns; thankful she always had spare clothes in her locker. She headed towards the exit when Richard called her name. "Amelia"

She stopped and turned around. "How are you feeling now? I heard from Wilson" He explained. She nodded and sighed. She hated being ill but especially in front of others. It made her feel vulnerable and nothing was worse than being vulnerable in front of others.

"I'm going home now…" She said. Her voice was emotionless and her throat was still burning. She began to walk off when Richard catched up with her.

"Wait" he paused. She looked up at him. "It's because of what you said last night?"

Amelia sighed and pulled him gently into the corner of the corridor so they couldn't be heard. "Richard, with all due of respect meetings are kept private for a reason" She wasn't playing games today. She couldn't handle any more thoughts.

"You never answered the question" He stood firm in front of her. He wasn't trying to scare her away but he knew she needed help right now whether she'd admit or not. He knew what had happened with Meredith and Owen, she had told them everything. He knew about the relapse.

"Why are you even asking? You know it is" she raised her voice back. She frustrated and tired. She didn't need anything else to happen today.

"Because you need to start accepting your pregnant Amelia" he told her and began to slowly walk off letting her sink her own information.