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A/N: This was the first draft for my OC's back story. It's not super accurate anymore, but I still like the Doctor's and Donna's parts in this. xD So enjoy. :3 And if you like Roka, she plays a major role in my other story The Master's Game
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"When I first met the Doctor he didn't want to believe that I in fact does not exist. So he took me with him and allowed me to stay.
Until the day he forgot about me."
Donna ran inside the TARDIS. She had decided that it was just too scary for her outside. The Doctor could run around like mad if he wanted, but she would stay here. There was no real danger anyway, so he would be fine... probably.
The TARDIS was silent. Well... as silent as it could be. Just the slight humming of all the strange machines that she had no idea how they could work.
But there was one thing she understood. Laying on the ground right next to the control table. She picked it up carefully, turning it around and around. How did a book get to that spot? Had it been there before? She couldn't remember ever having seen a book in here, although the Doctor liked them.
The moment she thought about that a shadow moved right in the corner of her eye. Had it been real? And if so, could it be dangerous? A danger... inside the TARDIS? That was ridiculous! And still... there it was again, right...
"Donna! I got it!"
She shrieked and span around to face the Doctor, who just came running in, all wet and a strange glowing stone in his hand. Without even thinking about getting dry again he ran to the controls and activated the monitor while fetching his sonic.
"With that... oooooh Donna... this is brilliant! Believe me!"
"Maybe. But...", she hesitated for a second, collecting her thoughts. "Doctor, there was this book just laying on the floor. And I'm pretty sure..."
"A book? What book? Ohhhh this one. I loved it. Got it from a Flafmogator that wanted nothing more than a pebble for it. They don't have these there. The whole planet is just..."
"Yes, yes, but was does it do here? I'm sure it wasn't here before we left."
"Ahh... well... maybe it was and we just didn't see it?" He turned to the monitor again, exited and obviously not thinking about the book anymore.
Maybe he was right, thought Donna. She certainly hadn't paid attention to everything before. But still, there also had been this strange...
There it was again! Moving right in front of her!
She screamed and clung to the Doctor, who sprang up, looking around for some danger.
"What the hell is wrong?"
"There... there...", Donna gasped for breath. "I saw something moving! A shadow! I couldn't see it clearly... but it was there!" Tears sprang into her eyes. This wasn't supposed to happen. This was the only place that was save. Always! Panic crept up inside her and she looked around like mad. Was it there again? Or was it just her imagination this time?
The Doctor also looked around and then turned to Donna with a grin on his face.
"What's so funny, Doctor?", she screamed. "Something got inside the TARDIS! We have to..."
"Nah, it's all right." He loosened her fingers from his jacket. "It's just..." and there his voice got quiet and suspenseful "...the ghost."
Donna couldn't believe her ears. And that idiot was still grinning like all of that was a joke! Her mouth stood open. He couldn't be serous, could he?
"There is absolutely..." his sonic moved above the glowing stone "...nothing to fear. In fact! The worst thing that could happen right now..." He put the stone down and turned around. "...is me catching a cold in those wet clothes." And with that he left through one of the doors.
A cold? Could Time Lords even catch colds? Donna shook her head and sat down on a seat, the book still in her hand. She looked closer at it. A fantasy story from her own time. Her gaze went up again, carefully observing everything around. But no one was there. No movement, no shadow. Everything back to normal.
"A ghost... yeah, right Doctor. As if!"
She opened the book and, because there was nothing better to do right now, began to read the first few sentences. In the corner of her eye she could see the Doctor walking back in already, sitting down on one of the seats and... doing nothing. Donna looked up.
And a surprised squeak came out of her mouth.
There in the seat wasn't the Doctor. It was... a girl! Just an ordinary girl. Maybe in her mid twenties. Short blond hair fell into her eyes. She was rather small and so... ordinary looking. And she just sat there like it was nothing special. Staring into the air and holding a cup of coffee in her hands.
"Who are you?" Donna stared at her.
The girl looked into her direction, not saying anything, but looking a bit surprised.
"Yes, I mean you! Have you even the slightest idea where you are?"
Now the girl looked really surprised and opened her mouth to say something, then closing it again. She took a careful sip from her cup as if thinking about what to answer. All while staring at Donna, who sat there with an open mouth.
"You...", the girl's voice was quiet and doubtful, "...can see me?"
"Well, of course I can! You're sitting right in front of me. Why shouldn't I see you? And who the hell are you? And what are you doing in here?"
The girl took another sip before answering.
"No one. I'm just... the janitor."
"What?! He never mentioned a... And besides, I've never seen you in here before. Why didn't the Doctor ever mentioned you? I thought he was all alone!"
"Well... he kinda is. He... forgot about me."
Donna was shocked. What in all the universe was this strange girl talking about? Forgotten? Why should the Doctor forget a companion?
"I... uhm, sorry. You were scared of me earlier, right?" The girl didn't wait for an answer. "This is a bit complicated, but..." She sighed. "He was right before. I am a ghost. Not a real one! I just... err... happen to not exist."
"Oh don't be stupid." Donna found her voice again. "Of course you exist, I can clearly...!"
"You couldn't before though. You took the book and looked directly at me, without noticing anything." The girl smiled sadly. "Don't worry. There's nothing wrong with you."
"How is that even possible? Is it one of those perception things?"
"No... No..." The girl stared into the air. "You could say... I am a glitch in reality. I was born dead. The nurse and my mother are the only two people who can remember."
"But you are alive!" Donna stood up and came closer. "I don't understand... and why did he forget you? That's so not like him!"
Again the girl took a sip and continued staring into the air as if she wanted to avoid Donnas eyes.
"It's true. And it's not. They saw me, dead as a baby could ever be. And then... I wasn't. As if time itself got reset. And I was born again. Perfectly healthy and well. I spoke to the nurse a few years ago, cause I couldn't believe my mother's words. She confirmed the story though." Her face turned into a sad smile. "It kinda explains my life. People never seemed to notice me. A single person often sees me, but as soon as another person comes in, it is as if they both forgot about me. And no matter what I do or say... they don't hear me. I even tried to scream... but people only look at me for a moment... confused... and then just continue their conversation as if nothing ever happened."
"Oh my god. This is so sad. I'm... sorry." Donna sat next to girl and hugged her. But all the sadness of this story couldn't bring her to stop wondering. "But how did you got inside here? Did the Doctor want to help you?"
The girl giggled and looked at Donna with an honest smile.
"It's a funny story, actually. Back then I had left home. Nothing more than a big backpack on me. My family started to notice me less and less... no friends, no job. Try to get a job somewhere when they can't remember you... So I thought to myself: Okay, there is nothing left for me. I'll just go hiking."
"What?"
"Well... I... Okay, it's not a funny story. I actually had given up on everything. I just wanted to wander the earth and find a nice spot somewhere to..." She stopped, stared at her cup. Donna knew what she had wanted to say and couldn't believe it. "He... grabbed me, right before I could..."
"The Doctor?"
"Yeah. He was all ragged and looked like he just came out of a battlefield or something. And he had this... this mad look on his face. As if he wanted to slap me... He didn't. But for a moment I was really scared."
"And then he smiled and gave you a cookie!"
Both, the girl and Donna span around. The Doctor had entered the control room again a plate full of warm cookies in his hands. God knows where he got them. He sat next to the girl and bluntly put the plate in her hands..
"Doctor, why haven't you ever told about her?!" Donna grabbed a cookie. "Don't tell me you really forgot..."
"Well... she is right, you know. A glitch in time and space. In the fabric of reality itself. A paradox... a..."
"So, you did forget..."
"It's not his fault though." The girl looked at the cookies as if not sure what to do with them. "I told him back then. But he didn't believe it. And then he told me about the TARDIS and his travels... and I asked him for a job."
"Ha, she really did!"
"A job?" Donna looked confused. "He doesn't even have any money!"
The girl giggled and bit into a cookie.
"I have extremely good fine motor skills. And I'm good with tech stuff. So I asked if I could just... move in. I had nowhere to go, so... I thought I could fix and maintain stuff and just stay. Well... that's how I became his janitor." She laughed. "But because he always forgets me, I often see him running around and wondering why this and that suddenly is fixed although it was broken an hour ago."
"Hey, that's not funny!" The Doctor frowned and grabbed a handful of cookies of which he put most inside his pocket. "But you're really doing a good job. Have to admit that..."
"Doctor!" Donna sprang up. "For god's sake, help her! This is no way of living! There got to be something you can do! You're the freaking Doctor! You have to!"
He stared into the air above him with a straight face.
"It's no use", answered the girl silently. "How can you come up with a solution to a problem you keep forgetting?"
"I'm sorry. I really tried." Again he had this look on his face. That look he always had when something really bad happened. Donna often wondered if it was desperation, anger... or just sadness.
"Uhm... I was thinking about it." The girl snatched another cookie, dipping it into her coffee. "Have enough time anyway and that library of yours is full of useful stuff..." She paused. "Maybe you should hide that book though... Or put a perception filter around it... everyone could just walk in and... read it."
"You didn't...!" The Doctor stared at her with an open mouth, a shocked expression on his face.
"I didn't plan that! Why is that thing laying around like that? Don't worry though... I won't tell anyone... and even if, they would just forget it."
"What is she talking about?" Donna looked from one to the other. Confused what might go on there. What did the girl read? A secret?
"Anyway... I was reading about other dimensions a lot. And there are some that have a kind of swapping technology." She ignored the Doctor's stare. "Maybe an alternate version of me really was born dead and they tried to swap me with a living version... but... something happened and it didn't work out. Which could explain my strange half existence..."
"Of course!" The Doctor sprang up and pushed some buttons on the console while mumbling about stuff probably no one but him could ever understand. "That's... that's it! It has to be!" He turned towards the girl and Donna, a mad grin on his face. "I'm right back! Don't go anywhere! Don't... move!" And with that he once more vanished behind a door.
"Ha! Look at that!" Donna sat down again. "You might be smarter than him!" She grinned.
"Nah, I doubt that. But when you spent decades just reading... you pick up stuff. And you learn. You learn so... so much. It's almost impossible not to come up with ideas."
"Decade? You don't look older than 23 or so!"
"Maybe I just lost track of time. It's sometimes really hard to tell in here. I think even the Doctor can't remember his real age. Just ask him regularly and you will get completely different answers." She laughed. "But from what I kept track of... I have to be in here for about eighteen years or so. Maybe... the TARDIS froze me in time. If I really am a paradox, then I could be dangerous to her... Must be something like that."
"And all this time you were alone in here? Just now he didn't seem to be surprised to see you."
"That's another thing I never found a pattern to. Sometimes there are windows. Short spans of times where everyone can see me. Sometimes minutes, hours. Sometimes even days. I was on some adventures with the Doctor during those times. That was fun. We gathered some really cool books. Maybe I'll tell you some of the stories one day.
But yeah... most of the time I'm alone. Which can be cool too. I can just wander around everywhere and no one forbids it." Her eyes suddenly got a mischievous glint. "And there are some veeery interesting places inside the TARDIS."
Donna looked as if she wanted to say something. But then her gaze went into nothingness. She looked around as if not sure what to look for.
"Seems like my time is up." The girl frowned. "Donna?"
"What? Yes. What is it?" She looked a bit confused as if she just rediscovered the girl.
"Go after the Doctor and remind him of me, will you? I got not much time left. And it would be a shame if he forgets while he is putting together... whatever he does."
"Yeah... yeah... of course." With that Donna stood up and went after the Doctor.
The girl sat there in silence. It would be too late. They wouldn't remember.
"And so I wait. One day he might remember long enough to free me of this state.
It's really strange... No matter how much time passes I don't age. I'm like a snow crystal. Frozen. Silent.
I could just leave and no one would ever know. But there is no place I could go, no people I care about.
So I stay, I repair and I read.
I am the ghost of the TARDIS."