Okay -

So, I wrote an Aurikku, after almost a year of absence. I know I've disappointed you, but in my defense, Angel's getting worse, and it's affecting her ribcage. Not really sure what to do now, except to help take care of her.

I love you guys... but I also love my sister. So please, if I have disappointed you, keep it to yourselves. I've got enough to deal with.

Love,

Crystal.

Summary: When Tidus and Auron vanished, everyone assumed that Yuna was the one who was affected. But what about Rikku? Major Aurikku, slight Tiuna, a really OOC Rikku. Sort of a companion to "Tearful Farewell."

"So, this is it."

I looked up at Yuna, who was crying her eyes out.

Was this what we had fought for? I wondered if death would have been preferable to seeing her cry, to feeling the pain I felt when I looked into her eyes. Did we fight just to lose those we loved? Did we sacrifice everything - our reputations, our lives, our homes - just to watch the things we couldn't sacrifice crumble into dust?

Was this what they wanted?

I didn't know, but it seemed to fit. The fayth knew this would happen. They used us - used our feelings, used the bonds we'd created - in order to manipulate us. They used Tidus's feelings for Yuna to defeat Sin permanently. They used Auron and Yuna to get there.

And they used me to allow her to see what kind of pigs Yuna was fighting for.

I knew it, and it infuriated me. I didn't care that we would go home heroes. I didn't care that Yevon would crumble when the people realized what they had built themselves on. I only cared about the fact that I watched my cousin die, that I watched my home burn to the ground, in order to watch the only person I could truly love simply fade away.

And I had to let it happen, because if I didn't, Sin would just return.

One look was all it took. I could see the pain, the suffering, the betrayal that the years had forced upon him. I could see the resignation he felt for this fate. I could almost - almost - see the faces of the men Yunalesca killed.

I saw the happiness he felt when he was traveling with Braska and Jecht.

"E'mm nasaspan oui, Auron." I'll remember you, Auron. What else could I say? I didn't understand this feeling that welled up in my stomach, or the way my heart broke when I realized just how complete this was. How could I want him to stay with me... when he was only a memory, a remnant of something that shouldn't have been? How could I love someone who was dead when I was alive? When I had needs that a dead man couldn't fulfill?

And even if he weren't dead, how could I have ever loved a former Yevonite?

I regretted all of the times I had the opportunity to tell him how I felt and chose not to, simply because I didn't have the courage to do so. I regretted teasing him so mercilessly

He merely looked at me with those intense, black eyes that I'd come to love and nodded. "E'mm nasaspan oui, duu."

My eyes welled up with tears. This was it. I tried not to watch this - tried to remember why I couldn't love him, why we could never be together.

But my mind kept going back to the first day we met - when he accepted me, despite knowing what I was.

I think that was the day I fell in love with him.

He held my hand. I could feel the callouses on his palms scratch against my fingers. "Pa rybbo, Rikku. E muja oui."*

"E muja oui, duu." The pyreflies had almost completely obscured his features, so I knew it wouldn't be long until I could finally cry in peace. I only had to hold on for a little while longer. "E's cunno."

He smiled gently and wrapped his arms around me. "Tuh'd pa. Ed'c ahuikr vun sa."

And even as I felt my heart break, I knew he was right. What we'd had - even if it was only limited to shadowed glances and secretive thoughts - was enough. Even if I'd given up something I could never get back, it would always be enough.

It would be enough until the day I died.

*"E's cunno" means "I'm sorry."

*"Tuh'd pa. Ed'c ahuikr vun sa" means "Don't be. It's enough for me."

*"Pa rybbo" means "Be happy."

*"E muja oui" means "I love you."