A/N: A piece of brilliant brain fart that is very silly, and possibly is horrible. But read and find out! I felt like doing a shakespear-ian type of play... and I also went on a rhyming obsession... ENJOY!
Much Ado About Snape
I present you with a sad tale,
Of a groom to be
Who loved a woman
Who left his heart to bleed
A tattered soul he is,
Always dressed in black,
Never again did a hint of happiness come into his life
Let me take you 16 years back…
Snape: They call me glum,
They call me gloom,
They call me Don Juan,
But tis' I who will be a groom.
I shall be married this morning,
Under the heavens,
I shall be married to a girl,
Named Lily Evans.
(Enter Lily)
Lily: Oh my Severus!
Snape: Yes dear, you rang?
Lily: I am not in love with you, but I am in love with James!
Snape: -clutches his heart- Ouch, I feel a twang.
Lily: Here are your roses,
And your letters, which sing,
Here are your chocolates,
And here is your diamond ring.
(She exits)
Snape: I cannot believe!
Seeing her storm off! She has left me to bleed!
And evil is the one who has taken her from me!
I must plot against him!
That git Potter!
Burr it's cold
(He closes the shutter)
Snape: But how should I punish the foe?
This question is harder than any algebra!
(Enter Voldemort, Lily, James and baby Harry)
Voldemort: Avada Kedavra!
(Exit Voldemort, Lily, James)
Snape: (Shouting with glee!) Oh how awful!… yet I am still weary.
Baby Harry: WAAAAAAAH!
Snape: Stop that wailing baby Harry!
(exit, or rather crawls, baby Harry)
Snape: Though James is dead,
I want my revenge
But what is to be said
Of me who wants to torture them?
Aha! Oh Snape, you brilliant genius/ mastermind!
I have a plan that is the greatest of all its kind!
I shall travel to Hogwarts and become the best of all Potion teachers,
When little Potter attends,
'ill steal him and give him to the Deatheaters!
(enter Dumbledore)
Dumbledore: O, no you won't Severus!
Snape: (to the side) How did he hear that, that old sore!
Dumbledore: I heard that!
Snape: How?
Dumbledore: Because I am Dumbledore…
Severus I have important news!
(Snape frowns)
Don't get the blues!
I have a mission from the Order for thou
Snape: I will not do it, why can't you?
Dumbledore: I have to fight off a Mary Sue.
Come closer Severus, let me tell you something
(he whispers in Snape's ear)
Snape: I have to save him? Protect him? Watch him?
Is that what I hear?
I will not you dumb old man!
Dumbledore: Severus, have fear!
For if you do not do this,
It's Azkaban for you, dear!
Snape: On what accounts?
Dumbledore: The one's of you being a deatheater.
So goodbye, tata, shalom, salaam, good year.
I am off to face greater danger's then you will ever endure!
(Dumbledore exits)
Snape: My heart is in pieces,
My revenge is not sweet,
My life now sucks,
Oh woe is me!
Poor Poor Snape!
A/N: Aww poor poor Snape...Liked it? Hated it?
Well, whichever one, review!
I'm sure you will enjoy
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