Darkness… fear… so much scary noises… The sound of running water and the strong smell of the sewers.

I remember being very tired and collapsing at the end of a tunnel, ending in large dark abyss. It seemed I just fallen asleep when some rushing water pushed me in this dark abyss. I felt… in smelly waters. I managed to swim back to the hard sidewalk, tired again but somehow feeling more… aware of my surrounding. It's a sensation that is hard to explain. Looking around me, I saw that I was alone and most of all, seemingly safe. This large sidewalk did not seem like it would push me back in the water anytime soon. I was too tired to care about the lack of comfort of my situation and returned to sleep, my back against the cold wall…

When I woke up, I felt… different. I felt a strange warmth coming from my whole body. There was a source of light, directly on me, coming from above. I looked up and blinded myself, putting my hand above me, between me and that source of light…

Wait… my hand? That is my hand?

I brought my hand down, in the source of light, to look at it. It was a strange discovery… this hand felt both natural and alien in the same time. It was scrawny, with long fingers. Each fingers seemed to end in a pointy fashion. It was connected to a scrawny hairy arm who gave me the same sensation of both being mine and alien in nature. It was a very strange feeling.

I suddenly realized by looking around that… the sidewalk was not as gigantic as it was when I fallen asleep. I gasped and the sound coming of my own throat startled me. There was also a few occasional noise above me, something I recognize as a rolling vehicle. I wasn't sure what was going on but I knew one thing: I needed to find a nice place to make my nest and find something to eat…

Wait, my… nest?

I frowned, confused. I shook my head and tried to empty my thoughts. Safety first and foremost. I needed to move. I was extremely uneasy about this place. I rose up to my feet. Only then, I suddenly realized… Even when standing on my two feet, something else of mine was touching the ground… behind me!

I turned around… and saw a large rat tail! I shivered in shock. Now, I knew something was definitely wrong! I touched myself all over nervously. I realized I was covered in hair. I touched my face, to realize it was not feeling human at all.

Am I a rat?!

That thought was so … weird. I tried to look back at my tail… it moved accordingly to my thought, as an arm would. And yet, it felt much stronger than an arm. I simply decided to rise it up slightly; to make it did not touch the ground. I started moving. I did not know where I was going though; there wasn't another light source nearby. I still felt I needed to keep going. After a long moment, I finally came across another light source, coming again from above… After looking more carefully, I noticed they were three small hole. There was a ladder leading to them. Curious, I decided to climb and go see for myself. Once I arrived in front of the hole, I realized they were on something round and metallic in nature. It seemed a bit heavy but somehow, I knew I could definitely push it aside. Once I did, I realized this thing was a heavy metal disk, leading to a street. I didn't have time to look around much thought, as I suddenly saw a vehicle wheel, threatening to squash me! I let myself drop the ladder, the vehicle wheel actually rolling over the hole. The vehicle drifted and there was a loud crashing sound! Scared, I dropped back in the sewers and run!

It was dark but I was staying close to the wall, always touching it. Only when I was sure nobody was following me did I stop running.

Well that was stupid of me… I need to find an empty building or something…

The search was long however. I was starting to get hungry. Fortunately, after a long time, I found an end to the tunnels. It was however closed by a large metallic bars. On the other side, there was a large river. I tried to push the bars to no avail but then I thought of my tail… I looked at it. It seemed strong but would it be THAT strong? I tried it… I managed to make it bulge and finally burst it open! I was surprised by myself. I jumped in the river, gladly removing the stench on my body and cooling it down from that mysterious heat I was feeling. Looking around, I saw I was nearby a big city. The sun was high and somehow, I felt it was a bad idea to stay in the open. However, in the same time, I was so hungry!

Suddenly, it seem like something in my mind clicked. A voice I did not recognize told me: " When you will master the art of meditating, you will be able to forget temporally your body needs. "

Somehow, I felt a deep respect for that voice. I didn't know what was going on but I knew I could trust it. I returned inside the sewer, hiding in the shadows. I sat down, took a few deep breath. Somehow, this feeling felt natural, like I done this a million times before. Soon, I was meditating. I do not know how long it took but after a while, the sun eventually went down. Under the cover of the night, I opened my eyes and start searching for something to eat…

The neighborhood seemed made of old houses. Some of the house were lighted, some were not. I looked inside a few of them, hidden in the darkness. I knew food would be inside. I felt a bit guilty to think this way but I needed a solid meal: I would take some food in that house once they all went to bed.

The scavenger hunt proven easier than I thought. I was as silent as a mouse and soon was leaving, with the food I stolen, found in the fridge in a plastic container. Returning near the empty riverside, I ate what seemed like a tuna sandwich with small veggies on the side. I also one of the juice bottle there was in the fridge. The meal consumed, I knew I should find a place to stay and think of the next step…

I explored the neighborhood, finally saw something of interest: a large building where nobody was in. The building seemed abandoned, with wooden boards on the windows on the first floor. It was perfect for me. I climbed the wall to get to the next floor windows, who were not as protected as the other ones. I looked at my hand, with a strange idea in mind… My pointy fingers were equivalents of claws, they looked very sharp. Something urged me to use one of them on the window. I made a large circle with it, digging deep in the glass. Once I finished making this large circle, I pushed the glass and with lightning reflexes catches it before it felt. There was a desk on the other side of that window, which I gently put the cut glass on. I entered by this newly made entrance. The room I entered was a former desk. There was an empty bookcase on the wall, a large desk with a comfortable chair. There was dust everywhere however. After some exploring, I found out that it was an abandoned bookstore. The first floor was the store, a broom closet and a storage area and there was a bathroom and office on the second floor. There was lots of cardboard boxes in the storage room and a hammer and a box of nails next to the windows. After some thoughts, I putted apart one of the cardboard boxes and putted it on the window I forcibly opened. I nailed the cardboard at the top only and put some book to maintain it close. I figured it would be my personal entrance so I could not nail it completely.

It was still dark so I wondered how I could make this place mine even further… Thinking about it, I decided to go search for clothes and some more food. Again, nothing went wrong as I returned with a long overcoat, hat and an umbrella. I presumed I would be able to hide more easily in the masses with those. I was also carrying in a grocery bag a loaf of bread and some cheese. It was frugal but it would have to do.

The night was beginning to turn brighter so I took refuse in my new home. Relieved of some of my worries, I began to clean up the office would now be my bedroom for the moment. Only when I finished dusting off the room that I allowed myself to start meditating…

The next day, I tried to look inside myself to figure out what I was… Alternatively, who I was… Somehow, the humanoid rat figure in the bathroom window seemed like it was somebody else to me… Like… it was not what it SHOULD reflect. I started meditating more and more, trying to find in my memories who I was.

As I meditated and calmed my heart… what I figured what was some of my memories started appearing in my mind. Instead of letting my emotions react to them, I allowed myself to be drifted by them, like following a dream. It took me a few days before I opened my eyes, finally having a revelation:

My name is Hamato Yoshi. I am a spy and a master of ninjutsu.

My memories did not completely come back but I finally knew who I was. I looked at my hands again, looking in wonder how a Japanese man could become like this… I was lost in thought as I took a big bite of the bread and cheese. Suddenly, I heard a sound and my ears twitched. I jumped at the door of the office, looking back at my improvised entrance. Suddenly, a rock entered by the hole I made, pushed the cardboard and landed on the floor. I frowned and hid behind the door of the office, in the space it made against the wall. After a while, the whole cardboard and the remaining glass broke as a silhouette dashed inside. It was wearing a biker helmet and long clothes made for biking. Rising up, it looked around, shook up the broken glass of him and found the door.

Somehow, my heart was racing. As he was about to get down the stairs, I heard him stop walking. I stopped my breathing, erasing my presence. After a few seconds, he climbed down the stair to my relief. Moving stealthily from my hiding spot, I spied on this intruder. When I saw him again, he was at the door. He unlocked it and let inside somebody else. It looked like a teenager. Both were hushing around:

" Bro, you did it! Darn, that was badass! "

- Just get in Michael. "

They closed the door and made sure to lock it. They started to undress as they talked. The one called Ralph must had being 17 or 18 year old while the other was like a typical 13-14 year old. The younger one seemed in a hurry: " You got the stuff? "

" Sure I do. And you got the files? "

- Eeyup! All police's data about the biker gangs in the city. I erased your file as well while I were at it. "

They start chuckling as the younger of the two gave a USB key to the holder one, who put it in a pocket of his jacket. They started then chatting about what seemed to be music as they explored the place. They finally resolved in taking cardboard boxes as seat and started to chat about their life. As they talked, I discovered they were brother. The younger one was in an orphanage; the holder was what it seem to be part of a biking gang. The younger one seemed to be a genius hacker though, not making him any less respectable. However, despise that… both seemed to share a real bond with each other. They joked and talk for hours before deciding it should be time to leave. The older one said as they left:

" I put money again in the bank for your scholarship. And well... sorry for asking for your help like that."

- Its nothing really. Beside, even if I get caught, you'll make me join your biker gang right? "

- Of course not! You deserve much better than this. You're smart, not like me. Remember, stay out of trouble ok? "

- Unless of course I need to help you again."

The taller one smacked him behind the head and laugh: " Ok enough smartass. Now remember, call me and come around this place if you are in trouble. I swear if that teacher touch you again-"

- I'm fine bro; I'm one-step ahead of you.

- Oh? What did you do?

- Let's just say that I found some interesting files when I was looking into his personal computer. I just had to give a tip to the police. It's all over the news now so don't worry about me. "

The eldest one nodded and cracked the door. It was dark outside and he slipped into the night, soon followed by the teenager named Michael. Only after they were gone, I got out of my hiding spot, smiling. I was trained as a ninja, a spy and an assassin. But somehow, the two brothers bond touched me. Although I wish they could be righteous in their actions, I also could saw they were doing what they could with what they had. During his meditation, his memories had recover from the most part. He could remember fellow disciples, rescued from poverty and who had being trained by his sensei. Although the ninja ways of life had become more and more sparse in this society, we still were still useful spies and assassins.

A sudden thought crossed my mind made me frown... Disposable. We were supposed to die if captured. A false tooth, containing a lethal poison. Weirdly, my memories were telling me I used to be fine with it. I had being trained to not fear death. But now, this thought was making me shiver and anxious. Even being hurt now made my mind afraid. Even worst, when they broke through, I did not remain calm at all. I feel like the one in a biker helmet somehow sensed my presence before...

When did I lose the results of my training?!

I took a few deep breath. It didn't matter. Now that I thought about it, I realized something... It seem this new body of mine has become faster, stronger... but it also seem I'm more easily stressed. I can meditate to bring back a form of peace of mind, fortunately... but it is not the same calm that my soul bathed in because of my training.

I decided to look around, trying to see if those humans left anything behind. The door of the office was locked again but now the floor had dirt on it. I decided to clean it first. I did not want the owner of this place to come and see there had being intruders. He would board up the windows about, which would lock me out of my hiding place. I could probably knock out those youngsters without them seeing me if they came back and noticed something amiss but I had no idea who were the owner of this library or if they would come alone. I brought the dustpan in the bathroom, where there was still a trash can.

After I was done, I looked at myself in the mirror. It was so strange to think this was me now. After a long moment, I went back downstairs. I looked inside the storage room. They had piles a few cardboard boxes to sit on. I didn't put lots of thought in it before but I decided to look inside. Turns out, they all had books inside. Logical, as it was a former bookstore. But... as I was looking at the first book and attempted to read it, some images of my past linked to the words I was reading came back to mind. My eyes shone brightly and I started reading again. The more I read, the more image of my past came to mind, linked to what I was reading.

I chuckled: I stroke gold. For the next few days, I started to read constantly, only stopping to scavenge some food and sleep. The more I did, the more my past became clearer in my mind. Although I felt like I could not recall everything of my life as a human, it was nice to recall memories from what I almost felt like another life. Another life took from me.

This thought would linger sometimes, I don't know why... I would look more often in the mirror, wondering what happened. One day, instead of meditating, I decided to sleep.

That is when the nightmares started...

AUTHOR'S NOTE: With all the sequels and movies redo Hollywood is throwing at us... Why not make one about Splinter, the mentor if the Ninjas Turtles? My fanfic however will be a bit darker than the usual tone of the Ninja Turtles. I grew up with the Turtles movies and Splinter backstory didn't make any sense to me (a pet rat cannot learn ninjutsu) so I adapted it. In addition, I am planning to give real motivations to the Shredder, create a bit of backstory for him too. However, as a warning, you will understand in later chapters why I gave this fanfic an M rating.