Mrs Hudson Investigates

by Breakinglight11

Sherlock Holmes has gone off on his journey to Reichenbach Falls, and Mrs. Hudson is left to keep the house until his return. But when a local maid is accused of a theft she didn't commit, her friend comes searching for a detective to clear her name. Mrs. Hudson's a landlady, not a detective- but her particular set of skills may be just the thing to find truths others overlook.

1. 221B Baker Street

MRS. HUDSON INVESTIGATES
By Phoebe Roberts and Bernie Gabin

MRS. HUDSON, Sherlock Holmes's landlady – F, Scottish, 30's-50's
SHERLOCK HOLMES, the detective himself – M, Posh, 30's-50's
ABIGAIL NORRIS, the butter and eggs girl – F, Cockney, teens
MRS. DUNLOP, the Evanstons' cook – F, Northern, 30's-50's
SUSAN KIRKWOOD, a lady's maid – F, Northern, 20's-30's
ACHILLE GERARD, a famous pastry chef – M, French, 20's-30's
INSPECTOR LESTRADE, of Scotland Yard – M, Northern, 20's-40's
HOPE EVANSTON, daughter of the house – F, Posh, teens-20's

SCENE 1: 221B Baker Street

SOUND EFFECT: Door opens, door closes

(Enter MRS. HUDSON.)

MRS. HUDSON:

Mr. Holmes! Mr. Holmes! It's Mrs. Hudson, and I've got to send out the linens today come hell or high water, so I don't give a fig about your experiments, those sheets are coming with me, so help me God— Mr. Holmes? Are you about, Mr. Holmes? Hm. It's quiet— too quiet. Well. At least there are no new bullet holes in the wallpaper. Good gracious, if I blunder into some beaker fixing to explode— oh, here's a letter. With my name? What's this about?

SOUND EFFECT: Seal breaking

HOLMES (VO):

My very dear Mrs. Hudson—

MRS. HUDSON:

Ugh. Now what have you done?

HOLMES (VO):

I'm afraid that by the time this letter finds you, I shall have been taken away on a journey of some time.

MRS. HUDSON:

And now's when you tell me?

HOLMES (VO):

Yes, my departure was rather abrupt, but I assure you the circumstances insisted. That I cannot specify my destination, nor tell how long I will be gone, I hope you will take as a sign of the seriousness of my undertaking, and not of the trust I place in you, madam, who has been my stalwart support for all upon which I rely.

MRS. HUDSON:

Oh, go on, why don't you. Charmer.

HOLMES (VO):

Whether you shall find this an inconvenience or a relief of your burdens, I cannot say, but at least you shall need not contend with all manner of comers at all hours of the night. For keeping the place in my absence, I do hope you find that sufficient consolation.

MRS. HUDSON:

That's all very well! But what am I to do without a tenant? Swear to heaven, for a clever man that Mr. Holmes can be a right—

HOLMES (VO):

And if not, there's another five hundred in it for your pains.

MRS. HUDSON:

—gentleman and no mistake!

HOLMES (VO):

Thank you, my dear Mrs. Hudson, for your gentle service, and for your kind understanding and forbearance— and for leaving my dust system undisturbed.

MRS. HUDSON:

Ugh!

HOLMES (VO):

Yours in eternal goodwill, Sherlock Holmes.

MRS. HUDSON:

Well! Seems he's taken the steamer trunk. And— all his great winter coats! He'll be off for a long cold while. Things shall certainly be lonely here for a stretch, though I can't say I'm sorry to wait on any more chemical burns in my carpets. I wonder if I can air out the shag tobacco smell, or is it in the place for good?

SOUND EFFECT: Many frantic rings of the doorbell

MRS. HUDSON:

Crivvens! So much for no more mad visitors!

SOUND EFFECT: Footsteps
SOUND EFFECT: Door opening

(Enter ABIGAIL.)

MRS. HUDSON:

Why, little Abigail Norris! We're not due for butter and eggs 'til Tuesday next. What's got into you?

ABIGAIL:

Not here on a delivery, Mrs. Hudson, ma'am. I'm here to see the gentleman. Mr. Sherlock Holmes.

MRS. HUDSON:

Indeed? Well, I'm afraid he's not about.

ABIGAIL:

Oh. Then, do you know when he'll be back, please?

MRS. HUDSON:

Not for some time, I daresay. What would you be wanting with Mr. Holmes?

ABIGAIL:

It's my friend, ma'am, Susan Kirkwood. She's a lady's maid for the daughter of the Evanston house in Sloane Square, and she needs help. They say she stole, ma'am— stole from her mistress! But I know Susan, she never!

MRS. HUDSON:

My word, the poor girl!

ABIGAIL:

I thought Mr. Holmes— the way he figures things— he could help her. He could prove to them it wasn't her. I brought all the money I'd saved— do you think he'd do it for eleven and six?

MRS. HUDSON:

Oh, keep your pennies, sweet girl! I'm sorry, Mr. Holmes won't be back to take your case.

ABIGAIL:

Oh. I see. It's only… Susan's in real trouble, she is. If the family and the coppers can't be made to see, this will ruin her forever. I thought if I could bring Mr. Holmes… (Cries)

MRS. HUDSON:

Please, my girl, no tears! It can't be bad as all that!

ABIGAIL:

But whatever will become of Susan?

(Pause.)

ABIGAIL:

I don't suppose… you could do something to help her?

MRS. HUDSON:

Begging your pardon, dear?

ABIGAIL:

You've known Mr. Holmes all these years! You know how he works, don't you? Couldn't you… do that trick he does, dig out what really happened, to show them she's a good girl who wouldn't steal?

MRS. HUDSON:

Abigail, looking after a detective so that he doesn't burn the rooms down sure is not the same as being one.

ABIGAIL:

Oh. I suppose so, ma'am. But I don't know what to do. She's got nobody else.

MRS. HUDSON:

Abby, dear… I'm no detective, I don't know what I can do for her… but I suppose I can do no worse than try.

ABIGAIL:

Oh, will you really, ma'am?

MRS. HUDSON:

My goodness… solve a crime like Mr. Holmes does? I don't even play the violin! But… we women making our own way in the world must look out for one another. We'll do our best together.