- Therapy -

Therapy: exorcising personal demons is hard work. The trick is finding something that actually works. But how will one know, unless they try...?

"You're doing it again."

"Doing what, Ryuko?"

"You know. Been working later and later every night, working weekends all the way through? You promised, Satsuki!"

"I know, but there is so much to be done! I-"

"Who did you promise?"

"Look, I know I promised you-"

"BZZT! Wrong answer! You promised yourself you wouldn't do this shit to yourself anymore."

"Yes…I did promise myself…but there is so much to still be done, and apparently no one can do this properly but me! Damn it all! If those blasted fools had any brain cells to rub together, I wouldn't have such a deadline looming over me! So it is up to me once more to salvage this opportunity from the ashes of-"

"Right. That is it. C'mon, grumpy butt! Up! We're taking a trip, right now. Grab yer coat!"

"Hmm? Oh, Ryuko…I can't right now, I simply must finish drawing up this proposal, and it's due this coming Monday! Can't we just wait until-"

"Nnnope! You've been too stressed out by this crap for way too long. We need to go blow off some of that steam, and I know just where to do it, too!"

"Perhaps, but-"

"Don't make me sing."

"…please, don't."

"All right then. Put down the laptop and let's go."

"But-"

"It's the FINAL COUNTDOOOOOWWNNNN-"

"AH! I SURRENDER! Please, stop that infernal racket! Let me just grab my coat! Why, look! It's right over here!"

"Yeah, now that's more like it."

"Rrr…*grumble*…musical blackmail torture! Why, the very idea of inflicting such-"

"Eh? What was that, Sats?"

"Oh, nothing, my dearest. Let's go to wherever we are headed and get this over with…I absolutely need to complete this proposal by tonight, regardless of your most inopportune shenanigans."

"Okay. You'll feel way better after this, I promise!"

"Hmph. We shall see."

The sports complex was packed, as usual. Satsuki looked on with mild curiosity as Ryuko's memory guided them like a dutiful honeybee straight to the twenty-four-hour batting cages. Two bat rentals later, and they were camped out in adjoining booths. Satsuki daintily pinched her bat between thumb and forefinger like a cheap broom, holding it out as if it had just been used to achieve something positively criminal.

"Ugh. I would have brought gloves if I had known we were doing something like this. How many people have pawed this thing with their grubby paws before me? I shudder to think."

Ryuko grinned, a wild look in her eyes as she gripped her own bat with zealous excitement. Satsuki noted a keen change in her sibling's voice as she babbled on about her reasoning for coming to this practice warzone.

"You'll be fine. Quit bein' a baby about it! That kinda stuff's good for your immune system anyways. Besides, I'm sure you have some of that stupid sanitizer crap in yer purse anyways, right? You are such a-"

She stopped talking as soon as her eyes came to rest upon Satsuki's hand as it darted forth to retrieve said hand sanitizer bottle from within her cavernous purse.

"What?"

"*sigh*…I was right. You are a total wuss."

"Caring about germs does not make me a 'wuss', you ignoramus! If you cared nearly as much as I do about observing proper health protocols, perhaps you wouldn't have gotten me so sick in the hospital with your very first cold, 'Typhoid Ryuko'!"

"Oh, fer the love of…I said I was sorry about that!"

"I never thought it possible to pull a rib while sneezing. Until I met you, of course."

"Sorry."

"Have you ever coughed so much you felt like you were going to pass out? Well, I have."

"See. Previous. Answer."

"I tore out some of my stitches! You still owe me for that ordeal, as far as I'm concerned."

"Anyways. Moving rrrright along…*ahem*! Now I want you to consider something here for a moment. Remember when we first clashed at the Academy, and I challenged you and kept challenging you, over and over again? You once said that you found my combat skills to be 'unorthodox' and 'amateurish', but I gave you a real run for the money anyways, now didn't I? That's probably because you only faced well-trained opponents before you met me, right? You and your elite master swordsmanship skills…you think I got the benefit of accelerated training like that?"

"No, I know better. However, you did manage to hold your own most of the time. You were lucky to be augmented by such a powerful Godrobe! What exactly is your point?"

"Well, this is the 'big secret' to my fighting style. To me, the Scissor Sword was just a bat, and everything and everyone I faced was a ball! Y'see, I loved baseball in school. When I stepped up to the plate during gym class, everyone in the outfield backed way the hell up! I took my frustrations out on that baseball and everyone around me knew it."

"I…see. How very savage and violent of you."

"Heh…you know it. I had a lot of pent-up anger back then, and I couldn't just go around breaking the face of everyone who royally pissed me off! I mean…yeah sure, maybe I did when I got older, but…uh, anyways. Here, lemme just set up my ball cannon…aw, yeah. Cool. So when the ball comes at ya, just imagine it to be the face of someone who bullied you…or kicked your ass fer no good reason…or spit in yer food! Just take all that frustration and BLAM!"

With this, Ryuko unleashed a swing of legendary velocity at the first ball. The poor baseball regretted coming out of its hideout today: it was sent rocketing back into a far net with a resounding *CRACK*, causing Satsuki to flinch just a tiny bit at the percussive sound. She watched as Ryuko beamed a jagged grin of wild ferocity at her, nostrils flaring and wiggling like an overly excited beast. It was obvious that the young punk was tapping into a most primal vein of violence and aggression today…and she was absolutely loving it. Mumbled threats and cocky poses were employed as Ryuko imagined herself to be the ultimate deathbringer to all sports-related spheres. Every one she pounded out into the empty space before her was an exhilarating micro-catharsis, a cleansing of the spirit. People actually pay several thousand yen an hour for therapy sessions? Why? This was so much cheaper!

'Imagine the ball to be…? Oh, such crude barbarism! I wouldn't stoop so low. Really, Ryuko-chan…' Satsuki sighed, then turned towards her own machine and flipped it on. She had never actually struck a ball in this particular manner before (Imagine that: Lady Satsuki, playing such a barbaric and thoughtless sport? Why, the very thought!), so this was to be a new experience altogether. She idly wondered if Uzu used this same secret theory for his powerful kendo strikes as she braced herself. Imitating the stance of a batter as best she could, she distantly worried about the future of her shiny new manicure as the first ball darted out towards her.

Her traitorous mind wandered just a little bit due to the sneaky power of Ryuko's subliminal suggestions, and for a brief moment she did indeed think of the ball as wearing her dear mother's smirking, arrogant face. It wasn't difficult to recall the snidest of expressions, that chilling gleam within her evil eye. Teeth were spontaneously gritted, and one split-second later Satsuki smashed this speeding faceball with a resounding hit. The crushing impact travelled through her bones, immediately reminding her of endless training exercise sessions with countless wooden bokken: such youthful reminiscing also dredged up fleeting images of other characters who could have potentially used a well-aimed bat swing or two right to the kisser.

'Hmm. That was…why, that felt…really good?'

Instinct took over in an instant. For the next few hours, Satsuki hit no baseballs at all. However, she did annihilate countless Kiryuin Ragyos, annoying little Harime Nuis, fat skulking Kuroido Takijis…oh, yes. There was a long parade of faces that ended up being crushed by her precise, masterful swings. In fact, more than she expected…although some faces did rear up more than others.

'*crack* Ragyo. *crack* Ragyo.*crack* Ragyo.*crack* Ragyo! *crack* Nui! *crack* That incompetent clerk at the airport the other day! *crack* Ragyo.*crack* That moron who screwed up the accounting software at work! *crack* Ragyo. *crack* Every single commuter who somehow could not find the proper pedal in traffic today!*crack* Ragyo! *crack* People who spit in public!' *crack* Ragyo. *crack* Smokers! *crack* Ragyo…!'

There was a certain Zen like flow to it, and Satsuki found herself floating along in violent (and vaguely guilt-inducing) cathartic bliss for a good, long while before she finally dropped the sweaty bat to her side. Knuckles pounding and muscles throbbing, she panted as ticklish sweat coursed down her glistening brow. She gasped and huffed as a towel was slowly handed to her by Ryuko, who was now quietly staring at her in impressed awe.

"Doing all right over there? You've been goin' batshit mental on those baseballs for a while now. You feelin' okay?"

"Oh, dear. Ryuko, this is such a mind-numbingly simple and brutish pastime."

Ryuko was about to roll some eyes and reluctantly apologize for her choice in unsavory activities when Satsuki then blurted out a surprise exclamation of frenetic joy.

"This might be even better than therapy!"

Ryuko's eyes widened at this unexpectedly jubilant declaration. That subtle gleam in Satsuki's eye, the barely-concealed smile. Her plan had worked!

"Ha-ha-haa! I was just thinkin' that exact thing earlier! It's true: great minds do think alike! See, I feel all warm and fuzzy after a couple hundred of these little 'therapy sessions'. I just had to share this with you…Satsuki, you always seem so bummed out about work these days, and that's just no way to live."

"Sometimes, Ryuko…I will confess that sometimes I feel just awful about the things I ponder while managing the boardroom these days. If it was back at the Academy, I could just effortlessly strip everyone involved of their titles with a mere snap of my fingers if they dared to cross me! Now, I have to find ways to work it out with them all. I have to tolerate what I perceive as incompetence every single day. And yet…this is the old me, thinking of such things. I have to summon more patience and stop judging people as I would have before. No one takes work more seriously than I do, and I cannot assume that others will be able to achieve the same level of supreme efficiency I always seek to employ. I don't have the comfort of being surrounded by my Elite Four anymore. Perhaps I do simply need to relax…perhaps I worry too much."

"You feel relaxed now?"

"Yes, I do. Strange, I hadn't understood why people undertook this sort of thing before now. I wonder…does everyone seek out this savage kind of thrill, this purging of anger and stress?"

"In some ways, yeah. I think so. Lots of people should and don't, though. Too afraid of being seen as some violent psycho, maybe? But seriously, to hell with what other people think! Stress can totally kill if you don't find ways of releasing it, you know! Stress is like poison to your soul; ya gotta figure out a way to vent it, or else it rots you away from the inside! Find what works for you and stick with it, right? You see, this is what works for me. I figured that maybe you might possibly see some value in it, too? I mean sure, some people go and do the whole fancy-ass golf driving range thing, but that just ain't barbaric enough to give me a real thrill! Golf is way too civilized for a punk like me! Hah!"

"Yes, of course. I will admit that there is a certain therapeutic value to be found in this activity. I thank you for bringing me here today. Perhaps we can make this a semi-regular occurrence, hmm?"

"Yeah! Music to my ears! We'll make a cool person outta you yet, Satsy-kins!"

"Er…yes, o-of course. Me…somehow becoming 'cool'. Dare to dream, Ryuko-chan! Dare to dream..."

"*yawn* Mbleh. Hrrm. G' mornin, Sats. Oi? Ooh, fuck. Uh-oh…ow-ow-oww! Oh, boy. Ain't it weird, when you do crap like that and ya find a bunch of muscles that you didn't know you even had until you try to move 'em the next day? Oh man, my ribs are killing me…"

"Aw, your poor widdle ribs hurt? Ah, so this is what sweet justice feels like. Anyways, you should perhaps try swimming? It exercises more muscle groups than any other aerobic activity. For an example, behold: I feel just fine. I'm not sore at all!"

"No friggin' way. After nearly three solid hours of batting practice? Nothing? No cramping, not even a muscle twinge?"

"Negative."

"Ugh. Figures. Yer a total and complete health nerd now, too."

"Well, yes. My body is a reflection of my mind, as is yours. Perhaps you should join me once in a while for a workout, hmm? In fact, I just finished mine and I feel fabulous!"

"Aw…but you get up so early for that crap?"

"Indeed I do! I find that it refreshes me and prepares me for a long day of hard work."

"Eugh…I'm allergic to mornings as it is. Do you know how hard it is to get to work at eight in the morning? Eight! That's like a single digit! Hmph! Should be friggin' illegal to hafta get up that early."

"Try going to bed earlier, then? Also, I have supplements that I can recommend to make that transition a bit easier for you."

"Nope, no need fer that. I got my coffee right here! It works just fine. Y'know…eventually."

"Mmm. Well, perhaps we should go biking, then?"

"Oi…you said you wouldn't ever be caught dead on my bike? Like gee, thanks for the vote of confidence there, Sats…but-"

"Not the motorcycle, you twit! A bicycle. There are some trails, here in the woods around the house. I usually utilize a stationary bike for exercise, but I could be convinced to get out on a trail or two, if you were to promise that you'd accompany me for it? You can even pretend you're on a motorcycle while you get some much-needed exercise! Why, I'll even allow you to make the appropriate engine noises to keep you entertained!"

"Shut the hell up, you caterpillar-browed troll. But…yeah…all right, I guess that sounds kinda cool. Boy, I haven't been on a mountain bike in years! We should totally go shopping for bikes! Oi! I want a sparkly red one!"

"We already have off-road bicycles, Ryuko. Downstairs, next to the garage…in the exercise room? Surely you have been in there at least once, yes?"

"S-sure. Oh man, I've worked out in there so many times! Well, not like a lot of times, but yeah I totally get in there on occasion…uh…"

"Oh, really. What's the security number to get in, then?"

"Onetwothreefourfive! Ha-haa! See? You thought I forgot again! *mnyehh*"

"*sigh*. Ryuko-chan…there's no security keypad for that room, only for the interior garage door. Put your damned tongue away! You look like a recently hooked fish."

"Shit! But I…*tsk*…oh, fuck me. Damn it all."

"I'm also telling Inumuta to force a change for all your personal codes, post haste. That is the worst security code in the history of mankind. Did you not listen to a single word of his security briefing when we first moved in?"

"Omigod, I chose what I could remember! Dammit, Sats! It's always 'long-ass password this' and 'complicated sign-on information' that! I can't be expected to remember all that shit! Fuck! Who even cares about hacking my dumb ass, anyways? Like that ever really happens, outside of spy thriller and bank heist movies! Oh, and I don't click on dumb website ad shit, either. Um, you know…anymore."

"Right. Of course! Who would ever try to hack one of the richest young women around? Makes perfect sense, dear. By the way, receive any calls from the bank's fraud protection squad lately?"

"Uh…"

"Do I need to remind you again of the time that Nonon changed your Facebook relationship status to 'It's complicated?', and then changed your profile picture to that of a rotten lemon?"

"…no."

"How was she ever able to do such a thing, my dear heart? Is she known to be a master-class hacker like Inumuta? Hmm?"

"Ugh. That microscopic little bitch. She guessed my damned password."

"Which was…?"

"*rrrgh* Too easy to guess. Yes, all right…I get it, 'kay? Inumuta already gave me a bunch o' shit for that!"

"So then what are you going to do tonight?"

"*grumble*…gonna change all my stuff to be more 'secure' or whatever. Happy?"

"Perhaps, in time. The safer you become, the better I'll feel. Deal with it, Ryuko-chan! I do care, even if you think I'm just a snobby thorn in your side."

"Haven't ya always been, though?"

"Mmm. Looking back, I would say…yes. Gleefully so! You have certainly needed one, lest you start to pay less and less attention to the things that truly matter."

"This is what I get for trying to cheer you up. *sigh* I swear…"

"Yes. You get someone who truly cares about your well-being. I love you."

"Yeah…I-I know that."

"Listen, I'm not always right, but-"

"*gasp* No shit? Hey, can you just repeat that so I can record those words coming from your own mouth? Here, lemme just get my phone out…"

"BUT you know I'm right this time, don't you?"

"Fuck, I already agreed with you! Yes, you're right."

"Oh? Could you please say that into my phone?"

"Don't make me kick your ass, Sats."

"Goodness, no! Why, you'd probably pull a muscle trying to do that now!"

"You are such a bitch."

"Of course! I learned from the very best."

"The very worst, you mean."

"Ah. True, true."

"Yeah…but…you are the best. I know you mean well, I really do."

"I certainly hope so."

"I do! Look, can we try to compromise? You leave weekends more open for us, and save work for the weekdays like normal people do, alright? I'll try to change my bad habits if you do?"

"Very well. That's a fair proposition."

"Deal! Go finish your work proposal, super nerd. You can start being normal next weekend."

"I shall try. Oh, but if only I could find someone to learn it from, that is. This tricky 'normal' thing you speak of…the concept sounds most alien in nature."

"*snort* Oh, you got used to me pretty quickly! As 'alien' as they come, I am!"

"Yes, well… you were. Not anymore, thankfully!"

"Eh. I kinda still am, Sats. Sure, I may be all human and stuff now, but I got a long ways to go before I actually feel that way."

"We can learn together, you and I?"

"Sure! Unless…hey, maybe we really are normal, and it's actually the rest of the world that's all fucked up?"

"Remind me again: did they ever get back the results of your brain scans, dear?"

"Yeah. They said I was hopelessly in love with you…until you pissed me off for the very last time."

"Ah…so the scans did find brain damage! It was as I suspected."

"Why, you stuck-up little b-"

"It's a good thing my heart scans said the same thing, Ryuko-chan."

"You…you are such a dork! Gimme a hug."

"Well, then! Perhaps I *oof* am one, after all. But, you complete and utter twit…you must never forget that I am your 'dork'."

"Yeah, of course…always!"

"Always…yes, I rather like the sound of that..."

"Oh, and I reminded her of your Facebook prank, too. Ryuko is going to learn, one way or the other. This I solemnly swear!"

"Oh, man. That's just too funny! Ryuko really needs some humiliating lessons in responsibility, doesn't she? Want me to convince Doggy to really mess with her dumb ass?"

"Please, no! Let's try to keep it civil. I don't want to impress upon her that people are being outright cruel to her again. Poor Ryuko has put up with enough of that in her day."

"Oh, fine. Spoilsport. So how exactly are you going to convince her to start exercising in the morning with you, again?"

"I have my ways. You see, Ryuko has this particular pair of torn jean shorts that she absolutely fell in love with recently. She's taken to wearing them just about every single day! Well, I took the time to find the exact same pair for sale and procured a few identical pairs in increasingly smaller sizes. Ryuko will soon be discovering that her chubby little butt won't quite fit in those beloved shorts of hers…then I shall be there to arrange a conveniently suggested remedy, of course! It took quite some time to produce a few exacting yet increasingly smaller copies of her new favorite shorts, but with a seam ripper in hand and a firm goal in mind…"

"*gasp* Oh, my goodness. That is pure evil! I always liked your style, Satsuki. Did I ever mention that before?"

"Perhaps. It's for her own good, you know. She stays up late all the time these days, gaming online and eating who knows what kind of awful junk food, just utter swill…then complains that 'mornings are too tough for her'. Then she has the audacity to complain that her legs aren't as well-toned as mine…yet still consistently rejects the notion of going to the gym with me! She never had this problem going to class that early at Honnouji…but then again, she was fighting for her very life every day. That kept her on her toes, and kept her in top shape! So it now falls upon me to find a way to keep her on her toes, just like I did back then. Yes…Ryuko will learn, one way or the other."

"All right, Satsuki. I can hear the edge in your voice. What did she really do to deserve this treatment, huh? I know 'Wonderbrat' must have done something really insulting to piss you off this much…what was it this time?"

"Is it really that obvious?"

"Look, maybe everyone else might miss it, but I know you better than that!"

"Oh my, you are indeed most perceptive, Nonon-san! Yes, well…please don't tell anyone else that perhaps she recently took the liberty of…*sigh*…bleaching one of my eyebrows blonde as a prank while I slept."

"Nani sore?! She…she didn't?"

"Oh, but she did. One infuriated wrestling match and subsequent black eye later, and she apparently thinks we're somehow even now? Well, I shall tell you…we are not! Until I no longer have to painstakingly color this brow black, she shall be receiving my wrath, one way or the other."

"Ouch. How the hell did she manage to pull that one on you, anyways?"

"We had been drinking the night before. I let it go to my head, and it made me groggier than usual. I didn't sense it until it was too late to halt the process. Ryuko was quite drunk, but unfortunately I was a bit drunker. Oh, she thought it was so very hilarious. That immature little wench!"

"I told you to watch the alcohol intake, Satsuki! You are a total lightweight! Heck, even I can drink you under the table!"

"Yes, I do remember that night. Thank you so much for the subtle reminder, Lady Jakazure-san."

"Oh, I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean-I wasn't trying to be rude! I just meant to say that you need to-"

"Please relax. I am aware that you didn't mean it that way. I know better than that."

"That's right. You always have!"

"I know. I do appreciate it, Nonon, and I always will. So, enough about me and my daily perils. How is New York treating you?"

"Pretty good. We're going into the studio for the second album next week. We have to avoid the dreaded 'sophomore slump', so I've been pushing everybody really hard to practice! I figure another two months or so of recording, then the mixing…then I'll have about six weeks left to get ready for the big event. Then we go on another world tour. Ooh! We got Babymetal to sign on with us! Oh, and they are the openers…I shouldn't have to clarify that, but I will anyways. It should be a fun time, plus I get to take my new husband with me, too! We'll be reliving all our first dates!"

"Indeed? I am glad for you! Shall we be celebrating your birthday the weekend before the wedding?"

"Ah, well…if you all come over here early, I suppose so. It's going to be a tough week. Giving up my Japanese citizenship for an American one. You know, the 'declaration of choice by age twenty one' thing. Kind of sucks, really. Well, I have no choice, can't be a dual citizen…oh! Did I tell you that my mother will be attending the wedding after all?"

"Really? Why, that's incredible news! I'm so happy for you! How did she end up making that choice?"

"Well, Mom finally told Dad to shove it up his ass, since he's being such a total dick about my decision to leave his company without an heir. Mom said that she isn't missing her daughter's wedding for the world, so both her and my aunt will be coming! I'm so happy about that…I mean I will miss my Dad, but he made his feelings pretty damned clear when he cut me out of his will and terminated my bank account."

"No! Surely he didn't go that far?"

"Oh yes, he did. He hasn't spoken a word to me since. That bitter old bastard holds a grudge even more than I do, believe me."

"Nonon-san, I am so terribly sorry. I don't know what to say."

"Sure you do, Satsuki! Just say 'I'm happy that you are choosing love and true happiness over honoring some bullshit forced family commitment.' That would work pretty well…"

"Then that is what I will say! I am so very happy for you! I'm glad things are turning out so well for you…all except for the wrinkle in your awkward family situation, of course. I can certainly sympathize with you there."

"Wow. Understatement of the year, Satsuki-sama! Yeah, well…it is true that family can really, really suck at times."

"Well, I'm glad you do still have family backing your corner! You may include me in that statement as well, of course."

"Oh, yeah? So you're part of my family now, too?"

"Wha-? I-I…ah, if it pleases you to think of it in…in that way? I do…ah, consider you all to be…a part of my f-family. My courageous Elite Four, faithful Soroi, brave Iori…you have all meant so very much to me, each and every one of you. I…I really should admit that more often to you all, I suppose. I wish I had been courteous enough to make it clear to you all back then, but I wasn't able to spare such dangerous emotions at the time. I should apologize for that, I just-"

"Satsuki."

"Ah…y-yes?"

"We understand. We all understood then, too. We had a job to do, and fawning over us wouldn't have made us what we needed to be for you! Consider it 'tough love', all right? Lady Satsuki, you did what you had to do to prepare us for fighting through hell itself. Going easy on us would have only led to our eventual deaths! But we were all tough enough to prevail. Even Ryuko! All thanks to you! So if you think that any of us don't understand that? You would be very wrong. You cared enough to do what had to be done. None of us will ever forget that!"

"Thank you for your kind words. I was cruel-"

"-But fair!"

"Yes. I hope so. You have all been like a family to me. Soroi, he…he took great care of me when things became unimaginably difficult at home. You, Nonon, gave me the inner strength necessary to keep my heart set upon my ultimate goal. I can never repay you for this."

"Actually, I'd say that the violin went a long ways towards that! Hee hee, I taunt Marcus with it all the time! Oh, I am such a devious bitch. I make him beg to even touch it!"

"Well, as long as you eventually let him play with it…"

"Heh, not until the wedding night! Then he can 'play' with it all he wants!"

"…"

"Oh, shit. You're blushing, aren't you?"

"…nonsense."

"Okaaay, you totally aren't blushing, then. Gotcha. Nothing to see here."

"*ahem* Yes, of course. Right."

"So, if we're family now…do you think before the wedding, we could…you knooow…get together, you and me? Spend some…quality time together? Help me get that crush out of my system?"

"*cough* What did you just say? Nonon, surely you don't mean-"

"Aw, come on. A certain bachelorette is going to need some good old fashioned love before the big 'ball and chain' ceremony, right?"

"I-"

"Kidding! Just kidding! Man, I'll bet you sure are blushing now, Satsuki-sama!"

"*cough*…ah…you would be…correct."

"Sorry, I just couldn't resist. The joke was sitting right there!"

"Ryuko's rubbing off on you, I see."

"Not yet, she isn't! Why, is she *snort!* going to be coming, too?"

"Nonon!"

"Sorry! Sorry…I'm a little pent up these days. We're waiting until the wedding, so no more hot nookie until then. Ugh! It's been harder than I thought."

"Hmm. I'm sure your fiancée feels the same way right about now."

"Daaamn. You went there?"

"Well, my dear Nonon. You see, Ryuko has been rubbing off on me. Repeatedly."

"Oh, ouch. All right, I'm backing off, I surrender!"

"I thought you might."

"Damn, Satsuki. I just can't underestimate you in anything, now can I?"

"You would do well not to do that."

"Unless we're drinking? No."

"We'll save that for your bachelorette party. We must beware of Ryuko and Uzu, however! They get quite rowdy these days, when alcohol is involved. It seems to bring out the 'inner asshole' in each of them, and property destruction is usually the end result if they are in close proximity of one another. I suspect that their mutual grudge may never fade, at this rate."

"Hey, that's what Ira is for…the big toad will protect us and keep them in their place, as always!"

"I have a feeling that you are right, Nonon-san. Listen, I have to get going to bed. It has been most wonderful talking to you! I look forward to our next conversation."

"Okay, I'll talk to you soon, 'onee-sama'!"

"Ah? Oh, er…uh, y-yes, o-of course…i-imo-imou-i-imout-"

"*snort* Oh, quit trying to spit that out, Satsuki! There's no need to force a pretend sisterly bond, right? Ha-ha-haa! It is hard to say, isn't it? Bye, Satsuki-sama!"

-click-

"…hmm…well, I'll be damned. So that's what it must have felt like…"