This the first long story that I've written. Updates will probably be sporadic -'cause wow why school why do you hate me- and it also takes me a while to write.
Any feedback you have is greatly appreciated! Thank you for reading!
I - I - I - I - I
Do you think...
She walked down the path with a purpose in every step.
The trees rattled to her right; the river slogged along to her left.
It wasn't often she was able to do this.
Hell, it wasn't often he let it happen.
... we could ever get back to the way we were?
Not that she blamed him- it was probably a good thing they kept these meetings to a minimum.
He was busy with his... business. And she did not want to be associated with any of it.
Before I screwed it all up?
He didn't want her to be associated with any of it.
Still, she was glad he found the time. She looked forward to their little talks.
He always tried to keep it light. Small.
Unemotional.
Matt...
She liked to think that she helped keep him grounded to what was real- what was possible in life. Maybe not happiness... but friendship.
Understanding.
A distraction that allowed him to forget the shit that was given to him.
He'd called her pure for it, once. And she wasted the rest of their time laughing her ass off.
Mocking him while she did. But he'd laughed right along with her.
They hadn't had a damn care in the world.
I don't have the answer to that.
And, in a strange way, their talks kept her grounded. To what was important.
To what she cared about.
So much has happened since then.
Who she cared about.
I'm not even sure what we had...
...was what it seemed.
She stopped for a second, taking a deep breath, pressing the palm of her coffee-laden hand hard into her forehead.
It always helped ward off the headache, she'd learned.
Taking a moment before crossing the line.
I know I hid a lot of things.
She looked up at the cloudless sky. There was a flock of birds dancing in the blue void.
That's a hell of an understatement.
She exhaled, cracked her neck, and continued forth.
I lied about everything, Karen. I ruined everything I had- my job, my relationship with Foggy, my...
Her pace quickened to get to their usual bench- before the toddler and her big happy family got to it.
... what I could've had with you.
I was selfish.
Reckless.
She sighed as she leaned back into the wood- the father would have to survive another five minutes for a reprieve.
Ungrateful.
Karen had been waiting five months for one.
I lied too, Matt.
One like this, at least.
But that's what I'm trying to say-
God knows she needed it.
God, I don't think that-
Matt, please.
No, I don't care. What you said you did hasn't changed the way I feel about you.
It never will-
She let her head hang back onto the edge of the cement planter.
Closed her eyes to block out the sun.
Don't lie to yourself. Lying's what got you here in the first place.
She'd long given up the game of trying to find him.
He always, somehow, slipped through her sight.
I won't lie-
Don't- you said that already. You remember what happened after that?
Stop making promises you can't keep.
It always frustrated her.
I have nothing else to hide. Nothing that's dangerous.
It shouldn't.
Maybe I met with a Russian spy recently, but that's it.
But it did.
I swear to you. With all that I am.
Karen, I-
I...
I can't answer this-you-yet.
It was so-
I'll think about it.
"Hello, Karen."
Karen jolted in her seat, almost spilling hot coffee into her lap. She looked to her right to watch a behemoth of a man sit next to her.
She sighed in relief.
"Frank."