A/N: I know it's been FOREVER and a day since I updated some of my other fics, so which one do you guys think I should update next?

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this train wreck of a fic

Goosefeather stared down at horror at the ouija board lying in front of him.

"Ravenwing?" he meowed.

The black pelted tom lifted his head, his blue eyes meeting Goosefeather's also blue eyes.

"Yes?"

"Look at this, what does this say?"
Ravewing looked at the ouija board, and narrowed his eyes, studying it very closely.

"Beetlewhisker!" he gasped after about fifteen minutes.

"Yes Beetlewhisker, you mouse-brain, why the frick does it say Beetlewhisker? It was supposed to say Ashfur you dyslexic mouse-brain!" Goosefather spat.

"Oh, Beetlewhisker's a RiverClan cat, isn't he?" Ravenwing narrowed his eyes, "I hate RiverClan."

"Oh really? If you hate them so much, then why do you keep bringing them back? First Heavystep, and now Beetlewhisker!"
Goosefeather shook his head.

"Hey, if you have such a problem with it, why don't you do it yourself? Besides, why would you want to bring back Assfur anyway?" Ravenwing asked.

Goosefeather mrrrowed.

"For the lulz."

He then shook his head.
"The truth is, I tried split my soul up into nine different cats, and Ashfur was one of the cats a part of my soul went into."
"And the others?" Ravenwing asked.

"I have no idea..."

Meanwhile, not in StarClan, KittypetClan, HalfclanClan, WhoClan, and DingdongOnestarisdeadClan, and MarshmallowfluffClan were having a gathering.

"Snowbird just had another litter of kits!" Tigerstar, the leader of HalfclanClan announced.

"How many litters is that now? Seventeen?" a DingdongOnestarisdeadClan cat sighed.

"No, I think it's nineteen now," a she-cat from MarshmallowfluffClan meowed.

"That's nice and all Tigerstar, but KittypetClan also had another litter born into the clans, Alderheart and Velvet had three kits, two toms and she-kit, which they named Copperkit, Ashfurkit," Brambestar paused and shook his head, "I don't understand that one, and Twigkit."

"Yeah well, Fidgetflake has also had a kit with I forgot who, but they named him Frostedkit, I've already decided that his warrior name will be Frostedflake," Leafstar meowed.

"Oh! That reminds me, Mothwing just had two kits with Puddleshine, a she-kit and a tom, they're named Sweetkit and Sourkit," Mistystar meowed.

"Is DingdongOnestarisdeadClan the only clan whose medicine cat HASN'T had a kit yet?" Harestar asked.

"Actually," Kestrelflight stepped forward, "I'm the mother/father to Frostedflake."

"Well that's just great!" Crowfeather spat.

"Oh, like you have room to talk," Nightcloud snarled, lashing her tail.

"She's right you know, after all, I'm expecting our second litter of kits," Leafpool meowed.

Jayfeather groaned and face pawed.

"I don't see why you're acting so high and mighty, Jayfeather, you became mates with all the she-cats in the tribe!" Willowshine spat, "Oh, and you're the father to my kits!"

"That's my boy!" Crowfeather exclaimed.

Then, all of the sudden, a grey and white cat with a runny nose came flying down from StarClan, he had a runny nose, he looked just like Runningnose from ShadowClan, it was...Runningnose!
"Well, since it's apparently fine with medicine cats having kits now, half-clan kits at that, I can finally reveal the truth, I am Sneezecloud's father!"

"What about me?" Mallownose asked, however, Runningnose disappeared before answering him.

"I also have a secret I need to reveal, I'm Dewnose's real father!" Sneezecloud exclaimed, before sneezing thirty-six times in a row.

"Brokenstar is my real father," Littlecloud meowed as he flew down from StarClan.

"No frickin way!" a HalfclanClan cat gasped.

"Does no one care about the fact that Brightheart cheated on Cloudtail?" Thornclaw asked.

"She didn't actually, before Ambermoon, Dewnose, and Snowbush were born, Brightheart, Sneezecloud, and I had a romantic evening together," Cloudtail meowed.

Ratscar growled and shook his head.

"Back in my day, we didn't have these kinds of issues."

"Oh yeah, because ShadowClan was soooo great," Emberfoot meowed, rolling his eyes.

"Actually, we're called HalfclanClan now, Shadowstar disowned us because we suck now, so we had to change our clan name," Tigerstar meowed.

"All of the founders disowned us," Bramblestar sighed, "And Thun- I mean, KittypetClan doesn't even suck!"

"Name ten living cats in ThunderClan that don't have kittypet blood, I dare you," Ratscar challenged.

"Well, uh, there's me, Graystripe, Brackenfur, Brightheart, Thornclaw, Poppyfrost, Cinderheart, and uhh, um, well, yeah, I got nothing," Bramblestar sighed.

"Hey! I exist!" Birchfall exclaimed.

Every cat narrowed their eyes at him.

"Who are you again?" Mousewhisker asked.

"Seriously guys? I was the kit on the great journey, I befriended Applekit, Toadkit, and Marshkit, my littermates starved to death, my daughter was a prophecy cat, my other daughter trained in the Dark Forest, I trained in the Dark Forest, how can you not know who I am?" Birchfall sighed.

"Well, now that you mention it, I think I have seen you around camp before," Whitewing meowed.

"Yeah, are you sure you're even our father? I mean, you're light brown, we're grey," Dovewing meowed.

"He could be my real father!" Mallownose gasped.

"A father is not the cat who shares your blood, but the cat who raised you," Lionblaze meowed.

"Oh, well Birchface didn't raise me, so I guess he's not my father afterall," Mallownose sighed, looking at his paws.

"Is this gathering almost over?" Harestar groaned.

"After one more announcement," Mistystar meowed, "Since Harestar and I are the only leaders without kits, we decided to have kits together!"

"EHthuetheute gee thanks!" Reedwhisker spat.

"I inherited my immortality from you!" Beetlewhisker, Mistystar's great-grandson, exclaimed.

"Oh yes, I forgot," Mistystar sighed and turned to Harestar, "Looks like we don't need to have kits together after all."

Harestar breathed out a sigh of relief.

"So, now that the gathering is offically over, I guess we can all go home now," Bramblestar meowed.

As the cats started padding away, Mallownose called after them,

"Wait! Since Birchbark is my real father, and he's not a RiverClan cat, does that mean I'm not a WhoClan cat anymore?"

"No, you're still a WhoClan cat, I'm still your mother," Graymist reassured them.

"Oh good."

Mallownose followed the rest of the cats from his clan, and with that, every cat had cleared off the island.