A/N: So, I hate to start new projects before another is finished, but two ten hour car trips caused this one to happen. The idea played in my head nonstop. I hope you enjoy.
Prologue:
The summer sky above seemed to explode in a myriad of colors as the dark waters of Puget Sound rushed along the hull of the boat as Casey steered it towards a particular stretch of coast. The world looked like a painting by Monet the colors seeming to mix in the perfect combination. It was absolutely breathtaking and she knew this was the perfect moment.
Turning the sailboat into the calm, she looked across the boat finding the reason she was even in this place. Long blonde hair flowing freely in the wind as the objection of her affection looked out onto the waters hoping to spot a whale. It was non other than her girlfriend of three years, Alexandra Cabot.
Watching as she turned with a bright smile plastered to her face, laughing in her direction, Casey knew this was it. Beauty is what this woman was made of inside and out. It was the whole reason Casey had planned this evening.
Slowing the vessel, Casey steered them closer to shore before anchoring off the sound. Walking to the bow of the boat she found her girlfriend staring off at a green light on a distant dock to an old home. "What are you looking at?"
"That gorgeous home," Alex said with a look of desire evident, "I want to live there some day."
Casey stared at the aged shake sided home. It looked as if it were built 50 to 60 years earlier. It had multi levels, a wrap around porch, green space and a long dock with a very Gatsby green light on it. The only part Casey liked was the dock.
"I will build you a nice new house on the water," she replied.
"Ha," Alex snorted, "You might be an amazing architect but I don't want you to build me a house. I want a home with character."
"You can't use your skills as an interior designer to add character?"
"No, age is what provides character."
With that knowledge, Casey sighed, "That means you want a money pit."
Turning to let the redhead wrap her arms around her, Alex tucked her face into her girlfriend's neck enjoying the smell of her perfume, "Yes, but I want a money pit with you."
"Then," Casey started, "Once I make it big I'll buy you that house. But first, you have to agree to something."
Alex pulled back to look into Casey's eyes with a puzzled expression, "To what?"
"To spend your life with me," She softly said as she bent down on one knee, "I am so in love with you Alexandra. I can't imagine life without you in it. I want to experience everything with you always. The good, the bad, everything. Will you do me the honor and be my wife?"
The look of shock was clear on the blonde's face as she simply stared at her girlfriend. It was only when her eyes spotted the sparkle of a diamond that reality hit. "Yes! Oh my god yes!" She squealed as she fell into her fiancés arms.
Slipping the diamond ring on her finger Casey kissed her softly before settling in to watch the sunset with her in her arms. She knew she was blessed to have found Alex so early in life. Their journey so far had been filled with love and adventure and she couldn't wait to see what the future had in store for them. Looking at the beautiful woman curled into her, she couldn't figure out how she'd gotten so lucky.
Chapter 1:
Eight years later...
"Melanie, give me a second," Casey huffed into the phone. "I just have to pass Christine off to the ski instructor-"
"Can't Alex handle her?" The frustrated assistant snapped.
"No Alex can't," she explained as she tried to drag her squirming daughter along, "She's putting Conner down for a nap then taking one herself. You know how pregnancy gets."
"Mama," Christine squealed, "is it my turn yet?"
"Soon," she pacified her child as she redirected her attention to the unhappy brunette on the phone, "Listen, Melanie, as soon as I get Little Chris in her lesson and get back to the lodge I will call you back."
Her infuriated assistant was clearly not happy with this answer as she argued the time schedule. "You know we have less than 24 hours. You are seriously risking this job."
"I understand the timing, but this is a yearly family vacation for us. If they want a Novak design then they will wait for me to return the new blueprints-"
"Mama!" Her five year old daughter squealed as she pulled at her arm. The little blonde was clearly annoyed by her working.
"Just a second, honey," she attempted to soothe, before giving her attention back to her assistant, "Listen, I will drop her off and go pull the blueprints. Her lesson is two hours, so I should be able to reconfigure the atrium in that time."
This time her best worker bee seemed pleased with her response which was a godsend since it was almost Christine's turn to be logged in with the instructors. "Hey, Mel, I've got to go. As for the AC project, exposed beams and marine blue."
Another round of sighs filled the line as the younger woman was displeased with the new information, but Casey ended the call. Sometimes it was nice to be the boss. When the call was done it was done.
Reaching the instructor, she smiled, "I have one skier."
"Mama!" Her little mini-Alex squealed again.
"And what's your name?" The friendly young twenties gentleman asked the little girl only to earn a frown.
Casey laughed, "Go ahead, introduce yourself." However, no introduction came. "Sorry, we've been working on not talking to strangers. Let me start over, I'm Casey Novak," she said holding out her gloved hand to the younger man.
"I'm Elliot Stabler," he replied, "It's nice to meet you. And who is this little snow bunny?"
"This is Christine Novak-Cabot."
"I also go by Little Chris," the five year old replied, as she looked up to the young instructor, her blue eyes sparkled just like her mother's would when peeked with curiosity. "I'm named after my grandmother. She's Big Chris."
"Well, those are fine names," Elliot replied, "Would you like to come with me? I have a bunch of kids your age ready to learn to ski."
Again a frown fell on her daughter's face, as she scowled at her, "Mommy said you were going to teach me to ski!" She yelled at Casey.
Eyes wide, Casey gave the instructor a sheepish smile before squatting down to speak to her child, "I know she did. But Mommy didn't know that I have some important work to finish. So, this way you get to learn to ski, and I can finish my work. Then afterwards I will take you skiing down a real slope. Okay?"
"Fine," the younger girl sighed walking to the instructor.
Standing Casey couldn't help but notice the similarities between her child and her wife. Both blonde with striking blue eyes, and both completely able to leave her speechless in seconds. "I'll pick you up in two hours!"
There was no response from her child, just a look over the shoulder as she trudged through the snow following her group.
Sitting in the lodge at a back table away from the crowd, Casey had her tablet out along with the most current outspread blueprint that Melanie had delivered to the resort that morning. She knew Alex would be furious to know she was working, but there was no time left in this deadline. Either she finished this and secured the contract once and for all, or she had to start over with a new client. At this point, she didn't have that kind of luxury.
Her current project was taking an existing fine arts museum in Seattle and updating it to the new sleek modern look that she was known for producing in her work. The only problem was how they wanted to keep their aged out atrium with the expansion and remodel. The structure would have to be updated for code and safety purposes, but the benefactors did not like her designs for it. Moving several aspects around and reconfiguring metals, weights, and sizes she finally felt that she'd achieved the perfect layout.
Sitting back in her seat, she examined her work. It wasn't a typical Novak design, but she thought they might approve it since it seemed more cohesive with the original atrium. Picking up the tablet she saved the changes and forwarded them to Melanie before packing up. It was only when she heard a familiar small child say, "Bad Mama." That she looked up to see a scowling Alex holding their 2 year old son Conner.
"Hey, babe," she tried to soothe knowing she was about to be fed to sharks. "How was your nap?"
"I can't believe you left Christine in a ski class to work. What is wrong with you?" Alex chided as she set their son down and placed a hand on her very swollen belly.
Walking towards her wife, she shook her head, "They hated the atrium, it had to be redesigned today. If they like this one it's a done deal, and I can relax till after the baby comes."
"Stop lying to me," Alex sighed as she looked out onto the snow and the late afternoon sky.
"Lying?" She questioned. She knew she was a workaholic at times, but she never lied to her wife.
"Yes, Casey, lying. You always say you will work only this much more before taking a break and spending that time with me and the kids, but each time you get a new proposal you run after it. I'm tired of it. It's the same story, and then within a month or two you are right back on another project. It's not like we are hard up on money. Take a break. Spend time with me and the kids. Take your daughter skiing for Christ-sakes!"
"I took three months off right at the end of the summer," Casey argued as she folded up her blueprints.
The response only earned a long sigh from her wife, "Yeah, you say you did. But I heard you mumbling to Melanie on the phone the whole time about that other project. The one you don't like to discuss because it's for the high profile client that you swear once the project is finished you will direct my services to. Do you realize the last time I had a project? It was 5 years ago. Do the math Casey. Whose been raising our kids? Me!"
"You always said you wanted to raise the kids. And you can't say that I'm not around Alexandra, because I am. I'm about to take Christine skiing," she defended.
Alex just shook her head at her wife, "Check your watch. You are an hour late to pick her up. How did you think I knew you put her in a ski lesson? They called the villa."
Casey sat down at the table defeated by the truth, watching as their little red headed boy ran up to her. "I'll make it right," she assured as she looked up to her now tearful wife. "I'll fix this, I promise."
Alex swallowed thickly, fighting back the onslaught of tears that wanted to break free. "I don't think you are capable of fixing this..." With that Alex turned to leave, "I'm going to get Christine."
"Hey, wait, I'm taking her skiing!" Casey tried to call out, but Alex didn't stop to listen, she just walked away.
Two days later...
Sitting alone at the table in the restaurant, Alex rubbed her seven month belly. Soon she'd be caring for another tiny human and still waiting for her wife to show up. Looking to the empty chair, and half drank glass of wine that sat at Casey's place, she wondered where things had gone so wrong in their relationship.
There was a time when they would leave their phones in the car to eat here. Back when they lived off of the other's company. The time when they spent nights making love and mornings having lazy coffee on the couch while they talked about making it big.
Shaking her head, she realized that was back when they did small projects and lived in the small craftsman's style house. Smiling she remembered how the nicest thing they owned then was Casey's sailboat her dad had left her. But it hadn't taken long for life to change so quickly.
They'd gotten engaged and Casey landed the hospital expansion project, then the luxury apartments, then the university...before long they were leaving the house behind for a penthouse apartment in a building Casey built. Alex was at first bummed about the location, but it was then that Casey had mentioned having kids.
Feeling a crushing despair overtake her, Alex spotted the waiter, and quickly flagged him down. As he approached he asked, "Can I get you something while you wait, Ms. Cabot?"
"No, Paul," she replied with her best fake smile as she passed over her Amex, "I'd just like to pay. I don't think Ms. Novak will ever be off her work call and I'm tired."
With an understanding nod, he left her to run the card. Staring at the empty table, Alex couldn't help but feel like it was symbolic of the emptiness of her marriage. She loved Casey, but sometimes love wasn't enough to make a relationship last. Maybe this was her sign.
Feeling the baby inside of her move, she wondered what the hell she'd been thinking at the end of summer when they'd transferred the last embryo. She knew back then that their marriage was in trouble, yet she'd gone ahead and gotten pregnant. It wasn't that she didn't want this baby as much as she wanted her other two children, it was just she felt guilty bringing another child into this family.
Fighting off tears, she swallowed hard as she dug her fingernails into her palms. She needed to not be hormonal. She had to stay clear headed. When they'd started having children she and Casey had both harvested eggs. In the end, three of Casey's and four of Alex's had made it to blastocysts.
Yet, Casey hadn't been able to make it past 6 weeks anytime she'd conceived that first year. After the third miscarriage, she didn't want to try herself again. So, Alex had carried every baby, with only one embryo not taking on the first go.
In the end, Christine was biologically Alex's and Conner and the new baby were Casey's. Feeling the baby move, she rubbed her belly again, trying to urge the tiny being into a new position, as she thought about how biology hadn't mattered. They were a family, a solid ship moving together as one. At least, that's what she'd wanted to believe until now.
"Hey," Casey's smooth voice broke her thoughts, "Sorry, those bastards still aren't happy with the design. I finally talked them into signing and letting us start, with the condition that I will have the atrium to their liking within two months. Still in my personal deadline." Noticing the waiter headed their way she asked, "Are you ready to order?"
"Ms. Cabot," Paul said passing her the bill and a small bag, "Chef Marco wanted you to have something to eat tonight. He hopes you will return for a real meal soon."
"Thank you, Paul," she said taking the check and ignoring her wife's stunned expression from across the table. Only when she passed the bill back did she look up into the fiery expression of the redhead.
"What is going on?" Casey asked.
"I'm tired and I want to go home. I didn't come out with you tonight to have to sit alone at a table."
"I'm sorry-"
"I know," Alex interrupted, "You had to work. You always have to work. Nothing ever changes."
"You don't understand," Casey sighed as Alex stood and collected her food.
"I understand plenty," the blonde sighed as she walked from the table.
Casey rolled her eyes. "No, you really don't," she muttered as she tossed her napkin on the table in anger.
Following her wife, they collected their car from the valet, holding all conversation till they were inside the BMW X7. Once they'd pulled away from the restaurant, the blonde let her tears fall. The sight of her wife crying shattered her anger.
"Alex, honey, this one really is a misunderstanding," she attempted. "Let me show you. I'll explain everything."
"I just want to go home," the blonde cried as she held her stomach. "I'm so over this..."
Taking a deep breath to vent out her frustration, Casey ignored the plea and headed towards her project. Alex needed to see it with her own eyes to fully understand. It would change her perspective.
Realizing they were traveling in the wrong direction, Alex dried her eyes and looked to her defiant wife. "I said I want to go home, Casey."
"I heard you, but if you will just let me show you-"
"I don't need to see anything!" The blonde yelled. "I'm done with this!"
Casey could sense something deeper in the words her wife had launched, "What are you really trying to say, Alex?"
"I'm saying I'm miserable in this marriage! All you do is work. You don't care about the kids, you don't care about me, and I'm over it."
The silence was thick in the car as Casey pulled up to a red light still refusing to turn the car around. "I'll call the marriage counselor in the morning. We can resume our appointments."
"No," she whispered causing her wife to stare at her, "I want a divorce."
"What?" Was all Casey could ask. Her world was shattering like broken tempered glass, fast and into a billion pieces. All she could do was stare into the tearful blue eyes she adored more than anything in the world. It seemed like just yesterday she stood on the boat proposing. "Alex, I love you-"
But instead of recanting her wife's face changed from anger and sadness to panic, her face illuminating in the night as her eyes went wide, and a terrified, "Casey," left her lips.
The actions caused her to turn, looking towards the source of intrusion, right as the truck smashed into the driver side door.