As my alarm went off, I was woken up to my reality of having to live without Will. He had been dead for a month but rather my pain easing up it only grew stronger. For the past months my whole purpose was to care for him and in the process I had fallen deeply in love. Now that he was gone I couldn't find my purpose: I was lost. I read his letter over and over again and spent hours just looking at pictures, I couldn't let go. I dragged myself out of bed and dressed myself for work. My parents could see the pain in my face but knew better than to ask.
William's last wish was for me to use the money he left me to travel, but I couldn't do it. It didn't feel right to use his money to enjoy and be happy without him. He told me to "live boldly" but how could I do that when he was gone? Instead I was looking for ways to use his money to give to people who suffered like he did. I looked for ways to fill the emptiness he had left and I figured if I couldn't change his mind maybe I could help others change theirs. I decided to donate that money to help those who were paralyzed to live a more fulfilling life.
Although I will never feel complete again without William, I found that helping others gave me some peace. I volunteer my free time to ease my mind and I have decided to become a nurse. Being surrounded with people who I was able to help and make smile gave me comfort and drifted my mind from thinking about the emptiness Wills death left.