CHAPTER ONE: In which Daisuke and Ken are Caught in the Act
They had never meant for things to go this far. Yet somehow, there they were - Sixteen years old, stripped down to nothing but their briefs, sprawled in a tangled mess of limbs and disheveled hair on the couch of Daisuke's family apartment. The living room was strewn with their various articles of clothing, Ken's sweater tossed carelessly over the chair, Daisuke's pants and Ken's shirt crumpled on the floor, not to mention the house slippers, belt, and Daisuke's goggles and t-shirt littering the coffee table and the carpet. The menu screen of a video game, hastily abandoned, played on loop on the TV. No, neither of them had expected for things to go this way. That was the only explanation for how they'd found themselves in this situation, both frozen in a mutual state of panic.
Because there, standing in the doorway, gaping like a fish, was one Motomiya Jun.
In that one horrified moment, the entire day's events seemed to flash before Daisuke's eyes. Once the initial shock cleared, the room erupted into the kind of chaos one could only expect from the Motomiya's.
Jun screamed, and made a show of covering her eyes.
"N-n-n-n-neechaaaan!" Daisuke screeched and, somewhat numb below the hips, scrambled off of his best friend, tumbling to the floor with all the grace of a flamingo. Ken for his part could not seem to do much except look utterly mortified, his normally ivory skin glowing pink as he shrunk into the couch cushions, knees pulled up, and holding a hastily-obtained throw pillow over his hips as if to cover his shame.
"WHAT THE HELL DAISUKE?! Oh god MY EYES!" Jun shrieked
"I thought you had class tonight!"
"It got cancelled!"
"Why didn't you call?!" It was a dumb response, but it was all Daisuke could think of as he fumbled on the floor, trying to get his feet back under him.
"I never call! I live here, why should I call?! Oh my god Daisuke, I did NOT need to come home and see my little brother in his tighty whities doing… doing… with-" she floundered for words, daring to peek through her fingers as she maintained her dramatic show of trauma.
Daisuke may have been over-reacting, but he could have sworn she was attempting to get an eyeful of Ken, and that didn't sit well with him at all.
"We weren't doing anything!" Daisuke growled, pitching a pillow at his sister. It hit her square in the face, and finally her hands dropped.
"Oof-! - You expect me to BELIEVE that? Look at you guys! What is this Daisuke? Is Ichijouji-kun your boyfriend now? Are you gay?" Jun managed to sound equal parts scandalized and delighted, and it made Daisuke's stomach do uncomfortable somersaults.
Blushing a deep red from some combination of anger and embarrassment, Daisuke grabbed the pillow from the floor, and used it to shove his sister toward her bedroom door. "Just shut up! It's not any of your business!"
"Not my business? You're the ones being shameless all over the living room!"
"Would you just… Leave us alone for five minutes," he growled, pushing her with the the pillow acting as a barrier between her and his underdressed body.
After much continued struggling and loud provocation from Jun, Daisuke managed to push her into her room, throwing the pillow at her, and then shutting her door. "And stay in there will you?!"
With a heavy sigh, Daisuke scrubbed a hand through the mahogany mess of his hair, and made his way back to the main room, head hanging low. He wasn't sure he'd ever felt so humiliated. Jun really was the worst. A sheepish apology was on the tip of his tongue, but as Daisuke lifted his head, he discovered the living room was vacant. The only trace that there had been anyone there were the scattered articles of clothing, and the slight indentation left in the couch cushions.
"Ken?" Daisuke asked the empty room. He looked from side to side, realizing that Ken's share of clothing items were also missing.
Pursing his lips, Daisuke turned and walked slowly back down the hallway, this time towards his own room. The door was shut, but slightly ajar, the lights still turned out. It was exactly the sort of thing Ken would do, not wanting the sound of a door latching to draw extra attention. Softly, Daisuke pushed the door in. The dim glow of Daisuke's computer monitor cast blue light and harsh shadows over the form of his best friend. Ken's back was facing the door as he finished buttoning the collar of his shirt. His posture was rigid, his shoulders hunched, his clothes less than immaculate after having been discarded so carelessly. On Daisuke's bed, Chibimon and Minomon snoozed obliviously, snuggled up together.
"Ken."
He straightened at the sound of his name, fingers pausing over plastic buttons. He did not turn, and for a moment, seemed to hold his breath.
"Hey," Daisuke tried again as he stepped into the room, closing the door a bit behind him, "Sorry about J-"
"I'm going home."
Ken's voice was soft and even, but he may as well have dumped a bucket of cold water on his friend's head. Daisuke stopped in his tracks.
"Now? But, I thought you were staying over."
Ken said nothing as he pulled his sweater over his head, then attempted to smooth out his hair. Daisuke remembered the feeling of those dark strands slipping through his own fingers, and was startled by just how distracting that was. Once finished with his hair, Ken reached out and gingerly collected Minomon in his arms. Chibimon shifted only slightly at the disturbance. Daisuke waited for a reply, but realized he wasn't going to get one. At least, not one he liked.
"I- I'll walk you to the train, then," Daisuke offered.
"You don't have to," replied Ken. He avoided making eye contact, but glanced at him sheepishly from the corner of his eye. "Besides, you're not dressed."
Abruptly reminded of his state of dress (or undress, as it were), Daisuke had the decency to blush anew. Ken used that one flustered moment to breeze past his shoulder, through the bedroom door, headed just a bit too quickly down the hall. Daisuke whirled, following close on his heels.
"I can throw stuff on, just give me a minute!"
"There's no need, Motomiya."
Daisuke cringed. Ken rarely called him that anymore, and when he did, it was usually in jest. This time, there was no pomp or sass in his tone. He wasn't teasing, he was dead serious. Daisuke wasn't about to let that deter him though. Grabbing his pants off the back of the chair he hopped clumsily into them. Just as he was retrieving his shirt though, he heard the click of the front door, hinges creaking slightly from the cold. Ken was already slipping out the door as Daisuke pulled his shirt on hastily over his head. He scrambled, leaving his coat, and slipping into his shoes without bothering with socks. Ken was already standing at the elevator door, waiting, and Daisuke pursued him.
"Look, Ken, I'm sorry, can I just-"
"You don't need to apologize," said Ken, his voice so even that it was actually unnerving. "I just think it's better if I go home. Alone."
Daisuke wasn't normally one to take No for an answer. He had always been a little too forward, a little too insistent. On some level, he knew he was difficult, but Ken always took his behavior in stride, never fussing, always so warmly accepting. At that moment though, Ken wouldn't even look at him. When Daisuke reached for his arm, Ken slipped just out of reach of his fingertips. Daisuke pulled his hand back, as if burned. The elevator chimed, and the doors slid open.
"...Will you at least call me and let me know you got home ok?"
Finally, Ken dared to glance sidelong at him. "Yeah. Of course."
It took all of Daisuke's restraint not to step into the elevator with his best friend. He waited for the doors to close again before he turned and shuffled back into the apartment. Exhaling heavily he discarded his shoes at the door, and walked barefoot into the living room. Mindlessly, he picked up the socks, the house slippers, and his goggles. The slippers went back by the door, the rest of the items tucked under his arm. He turned off the game console, and then the TV. Finally, he looked at the long, L-shaped green couch his parents had had for almost ten years. The cushions didn't bounce back like they used to, the fabric wrinkled and sagging where they had recently born the weight of two bodies.
The sudden memory caused the blood to rush to Daisuke's face, and he turned to make a hasty retreat to his room. There, lights still turned out, Daisuke deposited his possessions on the desk before unceremoniously flopping backwards onto his bed. He stared blankly at the ceiling, the evening's events replaying over and over in his mind. Gritting his teeth, Daisuke slammed a fist repeatedly against his forehead, as if it could cleanse him of the images.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid," he berated himself, folding his forearm over his eyes. At this, Chibimon finally stirred, rubbing his eye with his tiny little hand.
"Daisuke?" he implored, crawling over Daisuke's chest, leaning into his face, pushing his arm aside. "Daisuke, what's the matter? Where are Ken and Minomon?"
"They went home," he deadpanned.
"Oh…" Chibimon sounded disappointed.
Daisuke said nothing more, and Chibimon pouted. Absentmindedly, Daisuke folded an arm around Chibimon, hugging the little monster to his chest. It was there, still clad in his t-shirt and sweatpants, that Daisuke fell asleep.
Ken was beyond mortified. Even now, seated on the near-empty evening train back to Tamachi, he couldn't relax. He kept his shoulders hunched, his knees pressed together, one arm cradling Minomon. The small larva digimon dared not speak, for fear of attracting attention that Ken obviously did not want. Instead, he stared up at his partner with silent concern as Ken stared straight ahead, eyes fixed on the quickly passing scenery. Absently, Ken's hand hovered near his mouth, fingertips grazing over his lips. He could still feel the heat in his skin, the whisper of Daisuke's lips where they'd pressed against his own. The very thought of it sent a fresh wave of shame down his spine, while something else entirely churned in his gut. Even fully clothed he felt vulnerable and exposed, convinced that everyone was looking at him.
Ken wasn't sure which was worse - that he'd somehow ended up in a confusing and compromising situation with his best friend, or that Daisuke's sister had walked in on it. He thought about what might have happened if she hadn't, and just entertaining the idea of a 'what if' made him feel suddenly light-headed. The more he tried to stop thinking about it, the less he could. He felt his composure spiraling out of his control, his mouth drying out, his head reeling.
When the train pulled into Tamachi station, Ken couldn't get to his feet fast enough. He exited the car with such quiet single-mindedness, Minomon placed a small hand on his arm.
"Ken-chan, what's wrong?" he dared to ask.
Ken's grip on Minomon tightened, and he reached to absently stroke between his antennae. "It's nothing you need to worry about," he said, keeping his voice as even as possible.
In truth, he didn't think he could have explained it to Minomon, even if he had wanted to. He was almost positive that Digimon didn't understand these kinds of things, and even if they did, Ken certainly didn't at the moment. Without another word exchanged, Ken briskly made his way down the streets, wanting nothing more than to retreat to the safety of his own room.
"Tadaima," Ken called softly out of habit, as he opened the front door of his family apartment. He could hear the sound of the TV from the living room, and running water.
"Ken-chan? Is that you?"
"Yes, Mama," he replied in his usual, well-practiced cadance.
It was then that his mother peeked around the corner, drying her hands on a towel.
"We weren't expecting you home so soon sweetheart. I thought you were staying over at Daisuke-kun's."
Ken felt a knot in his stomach. What would his mother think if she knew? What would his father think? The question alone was more than he could stand at the moment. He moistened his lips, then offered her a smile as he put on his house slippers.
"Something came up, so I came home instead. Sorry it's so late."
His mother gave him a look of concern, but if she noticed his hampered appearance, she said nothing. Instead, she smiled softly. "That's alright, but I hope it's nothing serious. Did you eat? There are leftovers in the refrigerator if you're hungry."
"No, I'm fine. I think I'm just going to go to bed," said Ken, dropping a feather-light kiss on his mother's cheek as he breezed passed her. "Goodnight, Mama."
She murmured a soft 'goodnight' to her son, her gaze following him until he disappeared into his room. Once inside, Ken leaned heavily against the door, cloistered safely in the darkness of his personal sanctuary. Slowly, his shoulders relaxed. After a few calming breaths, Ken moved softly across the room, turning on his desk lamp, and then depositing Minomon in the loft of his bed. His digimon partner watched him through the side bars of the bunk as Ken silently crossed the room to his closet. Hands working on autopilot, he began to dress for bed. Meanwhile, his mind wandered. He thought about Daisuke. He thought about himself. He thought about the harmless, familiar gestures of the evening, and tried to find where they had turned, how they had ended up…
It was a mistake. Surely, it had to be. An accident, and nothing more. They were just fooling around. They were curious, they were comfortable with each other…
His fingers grazed his abdomen as he buttoned his nightshirt, and he bit his lip, remembering other fingers, other touches. He remembered mischievous grins and smoldering eyes. He remembered Jun's screams, and feeling stripped of more than his clothes. His hands stilled.
How could he ever look Daisuke in the face again?
In pure frustration, Ken buried his fingers in his hair, gripping a fist full of dark locks.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid," he mumbled to himself, Minomon looking on in silent concern.
Exhaling a long, shuddering sigh, Ken collapsed in his desk chair, staring at the screensaver dancing across his computer monitor. He shut his eyes, his elbows propped on the desk as he buried his face in his hands.
He didn't know how long he sat there, events of the evening playing over and over on an obsessive loop through his brain. It was Minomon's voice, squeaky and concerned, that pulled him back to reality.
"Did something bad happen?"
Ken lifted his head, fingers untangling from his hair as he looked up at his partner. The little bug stared at him with big, watery eyes, antennae dipped low. Ken's face fell in a mirror of his friend's, and he gently pushed himself away from the desk.
"I'm sorry. I've worried you, haven't I," Ken said more than asked, as he reached to turn off the desk lamp. His eyes still adjusting to the dark room, he shuffled softly to the bed, and climbed the ladder up into the loft.
Although growth spurts in his early teens had left the bunk feeling much closer to the ceiling, Ken never saw a reason to replace it. Instead, he crawled on hands and knees until he was lying beside Minomon, and pulled the blanket up over them. The normally energetic little digimon snuggled up to Ken much like a cat, so much smaller in his arms than six years ago.
"I just don't like to see you looking sad," Minomon chirped, obviously quite content to be nestled so close.
"I know. I'm sorry. I'll be ok, I promise."
"Daisukeeee!"
Daisuke woke belly-down on top of his comforter, and no less frustrated than he'd been when he fell asleep. The only difference was that his stomach was more empty, his hair was significantly messier, and a little blue digimon had latched himself into the veritable nest on top of his head. Sunlight slipped in through the cracks in his blinds.
"Nngh?" he grumbled, his face buried in his pillow. "When did it get to be morning?"
"When the sun came up!" Chibimon replied helpfully. Daisuke just chuckled into the pillow before rolling over, Chibimon flopping onto the pillow beside him.
Clumsily, Daisuke slapped around for the digital clock at the head of his bed. Finally he grasped it, pulling the screen close to get a look. "10 am, huh?"
Daisuke pulled himself up onto his elbows and set the clock back in place. Thankfully it was Sunday, and he had nowhere to be. The evening's events still fresh in his mind, he reached for his phone, expecting to find a missed call or text message from Ken.
There was nothing.
"Eh?" That can't be right…
Sitting up completely, Daisuke checked his read emails, his texts, his missed and received calls.
Nothing. Not a word from Ken. The lack of any communication was unnerving. Ken could take care of himself, but that was beside the point; he'd promised to let Daisuke know he'd gotten home. Daisuke tightened his jaw, and flipped to a new message.
[[ Hey. Make it home ok? ]]
Daisuke stared at the screen for a moment, before finally pressing send, then tossing the phone aside. Over an hour passed, and Daisuke's phone remained silent. It wasn't until he was rubbing his damp hair through a towel after washing up, that his phone finally chimed with a new message. Carelessly letting the towel drop to the floor, Daisuke dove for the phone.
[[ Yes. Sorry. I fell asleep early. ]]
Daisuke pressed his lips into a tight line, his elbows resting on the mattress. He glanced at the clock, then back at his phone.
[[ It's ok. Want to go do something? We could ask Hikari-chan and the others, too. ]]
He stared for a long while at his phone, waiting for what he expected would be an immediate response. It must have been at least ten minutes before his phone chimed again.
[[ I'm not feeling well, so I'll pass. Another time. ]]
Daisuke frowned at his phone, then dropped it unceremoniously onto the bed. Maybe he was over-reacting. Could be that Ken really was coming down with something. Maybe that had more to do with his behaviour than anything else. For the moment, Daisuke wanted to believe it, and so he did. Not wanting to dwell, he decided to follow up on his own suggestion and make plans with his other friends. With any luck, maybe they could get his mind off of Ken.
Authors Notes:
So how about that for starting off with a bang. ... okay, maybe poor choice of words there.
I've been sitting on this first chapter for a while now, wanting to make sure that none of the other scenes I'm working on should fit into this sequence of events. The next sequence of scenes was getting way too long to put onto this chapter, so I decided to call this Chapter One. This story idea came to me while I was working on "Viral" and was initially just the opening scene of this chapter. It has evolved into something much larger since then. Here are a few things to know about "Matters of the Heart":
1) This story is going to be entirely character-driven, meaning all of the story-line comes from inter-personal relationships between the chosen children, rather than any kind of Digital World goings-on.
2) It is also being written in a really non-linear fashion - meaning, I actually have a lot of this story written but already, but the exact order of events, and other sequences that go in-between are still being figured out. For this reason, I can't say how long it will be between chapters... probably however long it takes me to figure out whether a chunk of story is ready to be left as is and moved forward.
3) At this point in time, I am choosing not to take Digimon Adventure Tri into account for the canon of this story. This may change and the story may be updated once Tri is complete.
4) I actually don't know where the End of this story is. I have ideas of several vignettes that take place within the same universe of this setup, but I have yet to see where the main story will conclude and leave room for the vignettes as stand alone pieces.
Thanks for reading, please leave any comments/suggestions! :)