Let me say first, that this is NOT MY STORY. It was written by a friend of mine who asked me to upload it for her. Emily has an odd sense of humor, I will admit, but hopefully you'll find it as amusing as I did.
That said...

Rating-G

Disclaimer-Blah blah, JKR rules all, Emily and I claim to own nothing having to do with the HP universe...

Enjoy!

The Teacher's Meeting
The rain splattered harshly against the windows of Hogwarts, the wind
howled around the castle , chilling it inside and out.
Headmaster Albus Dumbledore hurried along the corridors to the Staff
Room. The usual blazing torches , dimmed by the damp air , seemed
swallowed up in the inky darkness. Dumbledore made a mental note to ask
Filch to re-light them as he opened the Staff Room door and stepped
inside. He surveyed the group assembled. Professors McGongal and Sprout
were conversing with Madam Hooch and Pomfry. Flitwick was showing Hagrid
an article from " Witch Weekly" . Snape was sat scowling in the corner,
watching the rain roll roll down the window.
" Good evening! " Dumbledore said pleasantly. Everyone looked up at
him. It was then that Dumbledore noticed that the entire staff was not
there. " Where is Professor Lockhart?" he asked.
" Who knows?" Madam Pomfry said crossly.
" Who cares?'' Snape muttered ,equally cross.
" Of curling his hair, I suspect." McGonagle snickerd, knowing it
was unprofessional to snicker about her colleague behind his back, but
not particularly caring.
Dumbledore ignored these comments and his desire to smile at
them. " Well, we'll just have t start with out him. First of all,
despite all that's happening , I have some good news."
" Lockhart fell in the lake? " Snape muttered almost gleefully
to himself, but he had said it a bit too loud, everyone turned to look
at him.
" Er, no " Dumbledore said, suppressing the smile that was
threatening to creep across his lips. " No, the good news is that the
attacks seem to have stopped for now. While we should by no means let
our guards down, I think this is an encouragement . Now the second is a
matter that I was hoping to discuss with Gilderoy present."
" Who would make a lovely Cocker Spaniel.'' McGongal cut in.
Like Snape, she had meant to whisper her comment only to herself, but
had spoken too loudly. Heads turned towards her,
Dumbledore shook his head, holding in a chuckle, this Chamber
of Secrets thing was having a srange effect on the staff, or maybe it
was Lockhart? In any case, his tachers were dispaying the attention
spans the likes of Neville Longbottom in Poitions class.
Speaking of poitons, Snape said something about Lockhat making
a better candidate to for the new poison he had made.
Dumbledore dacded to cut the meeting short, even though ithad
taken an amusing turn.
A few days later, Dumbledore was walking to Lockhart's office
when he saw McGonagal hurrinhg away from it.
puzzled,he tapped on Lockhart's door.
' BARK"
Dumledore closed his eyes, not knowing whether to be upset or
amused. " Minerva, you didn't"
he opened the door, a small golg puppy barked at him in a shrill
bark, with a fightned look in it's eyes.
" Pity , Defence Against The Dark Arts teachers are so hard to
come by" he said as he raised his wand.