Title:
Simplified
Author: Steph
Rating:
PG
Pairing: Robin/Patrick
Category:
Drama/Romance
Disclaimer: I do this out of a love for this
couple. No infringement is intended.
Spoilers: 8/15 and
8/16 episodes
Summary: My version of how Wednesday's (8/16)
episode will go. After an enlightening conversation with April,
Patrick tells Robin how he feels about her.
Note: Okay, so I'm sure many, if not all, of you know what's supposed to happen on Wednesday's episode. (If not, stop reading now!) I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out how Patrick says he loves Robin 'in his own way', 'in a roundabout way'. I honestly have no idea how it will play out on the show or if my version is anywhere close to 'in his own way'. This is just what I would like to see happen. And then I took it a few steps farther with the two of them, that I'm sure we won't get anything close to. But it's my dream fic world! It's just how the scene played out in my head. Anyway, hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you thought! - Steph
--- Simplified: Part 1/1 ---
"Ah, Dr. Drake," Ms. Sneed said, as she entered April's room.
Patrick turned away from April, his eyes landing on Ms. Sneed. His lips curled into a frown, as he stood up.
"What brings you by, Ms. Sneed? It wasn't enough that you unceremoniously threw my patient out on the street, now you feel the need to gloat and rub her face in it?"
Ms. Sneed pursed her lips, as she folded her arms across her chest. "I am simply doing my job, Dr. Drake. Just like I was doing my job when I told you she shouldn't be operated on and should be transferred because she had no insurance, the risk was too great and she didn't have long to live as it was. I would think given what happened you would have realized by now I had a point."
Patrick's jaw tightened. He placed his hands on his hips and licked at his lips in agitation, as he glared at her. "Let's get something straight right now. I stand by everything I did to get April that surgery and I wouldn't change a thing that happened in that O.R. Knowing what would happen, I'd still do it all again in heartbeat. This woman has just as much right as anyone else to the best medical care available."
Ms. Sneed's eyes narrowed. "Your dedication and courage is admirable, but your hard work and the risk to your health were all to save someone who is going to die. I can't imagine you think it all worth it."
Patrick raised his arm and pointed at her, his face growing red, "Who the hell do you think you are to decide that whatever time she has left isn't precious? Isn't worth fighting for!"
Ms. Sneed's only reaction was to purse her lips and look at April. "I came to complete some paperwork with you, but I can see this is not a good time. I'll come back later."
With that, she offered Patrick an icy glare and then turned on her heel and left. Patrick simply shook his head, as he stared at the door. The sound of clapping filled his ears.
He turned and looked down at April, who was smiling from ear-to-ear. "That was one helluva performance, Dr. Drake."
He smirked, shrugging his shoulders, as he returned to his seat by her bedside. "I took drama in high school." He paused and then added, "Unfortunately, she'll be swinging by on her broomstick again soon. I wish there was more I could do for you."
April shook her head, as she looked at him. "You've done more than I could ever ask for. You and Dr. Scorpio. No one's ever fought for me before. I can't thank you two enough."
Patrick nodded. "Like Dr. Scorpio said, everyday is precious. We just want you to have as many of those as you possibly can."
April tilted her head, a tiny smile playing across her lips. "Speaking of Dr. Scorpio, tell me about this hot and heavy romance you two have going on."
Patrick's cheeks flooded with red and he bowed his head. "We're just friends and colleagues."
April rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. You may have cut into my brain, but I'm not stupid. You were having a romantic dinner and I saw the way you look at each other. I saw the way you look at her."
Patrick rubbed a hand across his mouth, his eyes rooted to her blanket. "It's complicated."
"Are you in love with her?"
Patrick's head snapped up, as he met her eyes. His mouth went slack, but he couldn't manage any words.
April's smile widened. "That's what I thought. And I can see she feels the same way. It's not complicated at all. It's simple."
Patrick shook his head. "You don't understand."
April swallowed hard, her tone sharpening. "No, you don't understand. You have a chance here. A real chance for love and happiness, something some people spend their whole lives looking for. I am lying in this bed right now knowing I will never really know what real love feels like. I thought I'd experienced it once, but I was fooling myself. And now I am filled with regrets, thinking about all the time I wasted, all the chances I could have taken that I didn't."
Patrick could feel the tears spring to his eyes, but he quickly blinked them back, as she continued. "I hope that you're not lying on your death bed until you're old and gray. But I can guarantee you this, whenever it happens, if you let this chance slip by you're going to be filled with the same regrets. And, like me, there won't be a damn thing you can do about it. It will be too late. Most regrets don't come from the choices we make and the chances we take. They come from the ones we don't. At least if we make that choice and take that chance, we don't have to wonder what could have been. Good or bad, we know how it turned out. It's having to wonder that makes it hard."
She took a deep breath and then extended her arm, placing her hand over his. "You see, everything looks a lot simpler when you're in my position. The bullshit falls away. All of the things that were standing in your way or stopping you from going after what you want disappear. They're not important anymore. You finally see what really matters. It's not complicated at all, Dr. Drake. It's simple. You love her, so tell her. Find a way to let her know. Don't waste anymore precious time."
April squeezed his hand, as Patrick stared at her intently. He then smiled slightly, "Hmm, I guess I should have known better than to bring you a decent meal. I've apparently given you the strength you needed to give unsolicited advice."
"You've given me a lot more than that," she said softly. "This is the least I can do." She then grinned and waved her hands at him, "Now stop bugging me and let me get my rest. You've got someone waiting for you."
Patrick bit at his bottom lip and met her eyes. "Thank you."
He then stood up and walked to the door.
---
Patrick found Robin at the nurse's station. Her back was to him as he approached her. He stopped and stared at her for a long moment, before clearing his throat. Robin turned around to face him, a smile appearing on her lips.
"Oh, hi. Listen, I've got good news. I thought of a way to help April. Sonny donated the money for the Stone Cates' Memorial wing and I knew he would want to help her in anyway he could. So, I went to speak to him and he agreed to pay for April's hospital bills."
Patrick nodded. "That's great. Normally, I would make some comment about where Sonny's money comes from, but I'm just happy that April is going to be able to stay and get the care she deserves. I'm sure she'll be very grateful to you." He paused, before adding softly, "You have a lot in common, you know. You're both incredibly brave, amazing women."
Robin's cheeks reddened and she shook her head. "I've just done the best I could with the hand life's dealt me."
Patrick shook his head. "Don't do that, Robin. Don't ever downplay how you've handled this and what kind of life you've made for yourself. This kind of thing can break a person. It can paralyze them. I'm seeing that from just the possibility of it. You have no idea just how incredible you really are."
Robin's eyes fell to the floor, as she replied softly. "Thank you for saying that."
Patrick reached out and took her hand in his. "Let's go."
She raised her eyes and looked up at him, a smile upon her lips.
---
Robin and Patrick walked along the docks hand-in-hand.
"I've always liked blackouts," she suddenly said, breaking their comfortable silence.
Patrick looked down at her. "Oh yeah? Why?"
She shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I like the quiet. I like how it strips everything down to the basics. It simplifies everything. It might sound corny, but it makes you appreciate the simpler things in life more."
Patrick thought back to his conversation with April. He licked at his lips. "I know what you mean. I think sometimes we get so lost in the day-to-day stuff that we lose perspective. You were right, what happened to me put things in perspective. It simplified the things that I've made so complicated."
Patrick stopped walking and looked down at her. Robin turned to him and smiled. What?"
He swallowed hard and dropped his eyes to the ground. "I've made what we have and what I feel for you so complicated, Robin. I've let my fears and my past make everything so much harder than it has to be." He paused and then added softly, as he raised his eyes to meet hers. "The truth is, it's simple. I asked my father once, before my mother died, how he knew he was in love with her. And he said, 'It's simple. You look at her for no reason at all. You think about her when you should be thinking about something else. You can't wait to see her face again. Her smile makes your heart do flip-flops. And you'd do anything to protect her.'" He stopped and took a deep breath, as he lifted his hands to cup her face. "I can now say from experience that he was right. It is that simple."
Robin's mouth fell open and she took a step back, as Patrick's hands dropped to his side.
"Are you saying what I think you're saying?" she breathed.
His lips curled into a tiny smile and he replied quietly, "You know what I mean."
Robin shook her head back and forth, as she turned her back to him. "You don't know what you're saying."
His smile slid off his face. "Yes, I do. This is how I feel, Robin."
He walked around her, so that she was again facing him. She looked up at him, as tears sprung to her eyes. "You don't mean this, Patrick. This is just a reaction to your current situation."
Patrick let out a breath and ran a hand through his hair, as he dropped his eyes to the ground. "Look, I understand why you're reluctant to believe me. I've spent months having trouble even admitting there's anything more going on between us than just sex."
Robin nodded. "That's right. What do you expect me to think? Now you're scared and vulnerable and all of the sudden not only are you ready to admit more is going on and that you have feelings for me, but you're saying...what you just said? It doesn't make any sense."
He smiled weakly. "I'm a complicated man."
"I'll say," she replied with just a hint of playfulness. She sighed. "If you're saying this because of some misplaced feeling of gratitude because of how I've been there for you, then-..."
"I'm not," he said firmly, cutting her off. "I'm grateful for what you've done for me, Robin. But even I know the difference between what I feel for you and gratitude." Robin could feel her throat burning, as he went on. "With that said, this whole thing has made me see what I have in you. What I've had all along."
Robin squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed at the bridge of her nose. "Patrick, you're afraid and in a very fragile state right now. You don't know what the future holds. You don't know what you can count on and you feel like you have no control. So you figured you'd control this part of your life. This is simply a reaction to what you're going through."
Patrick licked at his lips, as he placed his hands on his hips and nodded. "You're right, this is a reaction to what I'm going through."
Robin's eyes flashed with hurt for a moment. A huge part of her had been hoping he wouldn't give in so easily. She lowered her eyes to the floor. "Well, I'm glad we can agree on something."
He took a step forward and placed his hand on her chin, gently lifting her head so that she would meet his gaze.
He swallowed hard, his voice emerging softly. "You're the one who said that this kind of thing gives you perspective. I see things differently now. This whole situation was the push I needed to finally admit what I've known deep down all along. I let my fears of loving and losing rule my life for far too long. This happening made me realize that I need to stop wasting time and do what I should have done a long time ago. What I feel for you is real, Robin, and I meant what I said."
Robin took a few steps toward the bench and sank down onto it. She couldn't seem to stop shaking her head. "I...I don't know what to say."
Patrick smiled gently and then sat down next to her, meeting her eyes. "Well, I've never done this before, but I think it's customary to return the gesture." His eyes then clouded over and he lowered his eyes to his hands, saying quietly, "That is, if you feel the same way."
Patrick looked back up at her, his eyes filled with hope. Robin opened her mouth, then snapped it shut. Patrick closed his eyes and shook his head, as he jumped up from his seat.
"I...I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking saying something like that and then expecting you to say the same thing. It's obvious you don't feel the same way, so I'm just going to go before this gets anymore uncomfortable."
Patrick quickly turned on his heel and moved to the stairs. He was just about to step onto the first stair when he heard her voice. "Don't go. Please."
Patrick dragged a hand across his mouth, then bowed his head, as he turned around. Robin stood up and walked over to him, stopping right in front of him. She hesitated a moment, before bringing her hand up to cup his face. He slowly lifted his head and met her eyes.
"I know saying that wasn't easy for you. It's not easy for me either. I've felt that way about two men before in my life. The first man I had to watch die and the second broke my heart. I guess I told myself that I'd found love twice before, that I was luckier than most people will ever be. I guess I convinced myself that this would never happen again." Robin lowered her hand and shook her head. "But without even realizing it, I found it happening all over again. No matter how hard I tried to deny it and push the feelings down, I found myself falling in love with you, Patrick."
Patrick sucked in a breath at her words. "So does that mean..." he began, his voice trailing off.
Robin pursed her lips. "I just...I'm afraid that six months from now if you test negative, you may look at me and wish you could take back those words."
"That's not going to happen."
The tears stung her eyes now. She tried to blink them away, but only managed to make a few fall down her cheeks. "I can't go through it again. I can't say those things knowing that someday they won't matter anymore."
"Why are you so sure that will happen?"
"Because it always does."
Patrick licked at his lips. "Have you stopped to think that maybe this time will be different?"
Robin ran her hands down her face, then met his eyes. "Have you stopped to think that someday your biggest fear could come true? That after finally allowing yourself to feel that way about someone you could lose her? Patrick, I'm HIV positive. Having that kind of fear and then falling in love with someone who has this disease only makes it that much harder for you. One day, you're going to look at me and realize that it's not worth the pain you might have to face someday. That you were right to protect yourself."
Patrick tilted his head. "Do you remember when I told you about my parents' relationship?" Robin nodded. "How you could see how much they loved each other without them saying a word or even touching? And do you remember how I said that whatever my father felt for my mother couldn't have been worth what it cost him?" Robin stared at him intently, as another tear spilled onto her cheek. "Well, I was wrong, Robin. I know now that my father wouldn't have traded a moment with my mother. If he knew what the future held, he wouldn't have changed a thing. I know because every time I look at you I think back to what my life was like before you. And there's no comparison. There's no comparison to life with you in it."
Robin took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "And what are you going to do if someday you're forced to face life without me, Patrick? How are you going to deal with it?"
Patrick shook his head. "Look, a lot has changed for me since this scare began. And one of the things it's made me do is stop and think about what I am willing to live with. I realized that I'd rather face my fears and live with the possibility that someday they could be realized, than spend the rest of my life wondering what could have been. I can't live with those kind of regrets." He paused and then added, "And I'm willing to bet you can't either."
With that, Patrick brought his lips to Robin's in a soft kiss. After a few moments, Robin pulled back and looked into eyes.
She smiled gently and said, "You're right, I can't."
Patrick smiled, as he took her hand in his and led them back to the bench. He settled into it, as she sat down next to him. He then placed his arm around her shoulders and she placed her head on his chest.
---------------------------------------------------THE
END----------------------------------------------------
Thanks
for reading! Hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you
thought. -Steph
