Disclaimer: I am sad to report that I do not own any of the Gravitation characters. They all belong to Sensei Maki Murakami.
A.N. Yes, it's another one shot by me. For all you coffeeshop and Blood Red Memories fans, don't worry, I'm working on them! They'll both be updated in no time!
There's something about waking up to the sound of a camera shutter. I know he's standing over me, taking pictures of me in my sleep. I used to hate it so much when he'd do that. When he first started, I'd wake up screaming at him, and throwing things, nearly knocking one of his precious Cannons or Minoltas out of his hands.
But now, it's become almost peaceful to me. It assures me that he's really there, really all right. It's a different sensation from reaching over in the middle of the night and feeling his skin there. Hearing his camera, hearing his careful sighs as he slowly loads and unloads his film. That let's me know that more than his 'skin' is there, that his heart is as well.
"You're beautiful. You know that?" He asked softly
I wasn't sure if he knew I was awake
or not, so I continued to feign sleep, hearing him go through another
roll of film, and hearing the noise of it rewind.
"I know you
hate this... but... I can't help myself." He whispered
I heard the soft 'clink' of his camera being set down, and I felt the soft weight in the bed next to me, and the warmth as he draped his arm across my body. I slowly opened my eyes, pretending as if I'd just awoken.
"Faker." He muttered
"How'd you know?" I asked
A grin crossed his thin lips, showing his gleaming white teeth in the early morning.
"You started frowning after a
while." He said "You never frown in your sleep."
"You
make it sound like you've done this a lot before." I said
He winked, sliding off of the bed, picking up his film from the dresser, amongst other canisters, scattered items and half opened bills. Ones that we started to open, but realized he lacked the courage to face it.
We were without heat. We'd been that way for quite sometime now. We'd sold our last electric heater to buy food, and the house was quite cool in the early morning, but he still walked around in his boxers. Proud limber body stretching softly.
"Yuki." I said softly "Aren't
you cold?"
He shook his head. I knew he would. He always
does. He lies to me like this, so I won't worry. But I can tell. I
can tell that he's slowing down, getting weak. We both were.
It wasn't exactly the lack of fresh food, or heat; although that might have something to do with it; but it was more of the emotional strain of not being able to succeed. Dead end jobs that usually ended up with us getting fired by the third payday. A crappy one bedroom apartment. A window that never quite shut right. My swiftly fading health, both were things we were powerless to.
"How are you?" He asked, gently pulling the covers up around my shoulders
I shrugged. How was I? Was I better than yesterday? Worse than I'll be tomorrow? Is my stress and sickness fading, or remaining stagnant? My health had never been a serious issue. I'd just never been a very strong or healthy person, and coupled with the stress of near homelessness, a little while back, my body had just given up, making me horribly sick.
"Better."
I said, not sure of the truth myself "I think... I'm getting
better. I'll be able to perform again soon."
Yuki smiled,
moving back to the dresser and picking through rolls of film, picking
up some and tossing some aside.
"Just take it easy." He
said "You were really sick for a long time. Don't push
yourself."
I nodded. I wasn't exactly eager to push myself.
I loved having him tend to me, eating his cooking, and listening to
him as he strummed his acoustic guitar, his voice mellowing
out soft American music, taking the words and adding them to his own
tune. I'd often wondered why he'd become a photographer, instead of a
musician, but when I'd ask him, he'd simply shrug his shoulders,
wispy blond hair falling into his eyes and reply.
"I like to capture history, more
than I like to be a part of it. It's a bit easier to be on the
outside looking in, Shuichi."
Yuki always talked to me like
I was so much younger than he was. Granted, I was younger, but only
by two years. And I had to admit, that I loved it when he treated me
like a child.
Yuki brought my attention back, when he nearly knocked over one of my towering piles of lyrics while putting back a roll of film.
"How do you tell them apart?" I asked
He shrugged.
"Instinct I guess. And besides,
that one had a ton of dust on it, it had to have been there for at
least two or three weeks."
"Ew. We should really clean
this place up."
Yuki looked around.
"And that should
take what? Five minuets?"
"Stop complaining, it's not that
small. And it's better than nowhere. Besides, it was the only place
we could afford."
Yuki laughed, moving towards the bathroom.
"Where are you going?" I asked
"To develop these. I came across
some extra cash last night. And I have some stuff that I shot that I
might be able to sell."
"Wait!" I said before I
could stop myself
Yuki stopped and turned to face
me.
"Yeah?"
He hadn't left me during the day for
some time now. It felt strange to know that he'd be out of the
apartment out of my reach.
"Before you go... can you play me
a song?"
Yuki placed his hand on his slender hip, cocking
his head. He then laughed softly.
"You're such a baby."
He murmured, moving over to his guitar, picking it up off of his
stand, and sitting on the edge of the bed. "What do you want to
hear?"
I thought for a moment.
"I don't know what it's called.
It's American. You were singing it yesterday..."
Yuki closed
his eyes, his fingers lightly grazing the strings, letting the memory
come back to him. Soon the tune picked up, and I nodded softly, to
tell him that this was the song, but his eyes were still closed, so
he didn't see me anyways.
Walk with me my little child,
To the forest of denial
Speak with me my only friend
Walk with me until the time
And make the forest turn to wine
I loved this song. I wasn't exactly sure what it meant, even though Yuki had translated it for me, I liked it in english better. I liked his smooth voice coating over the lyrics.
You saw the product
Why can't you see that you are my
child?
Why can't you see that you are my mind?
Tell everyone in the world
That I'm yours
Take this promise to the end of you.
Yuki's fingers
left the stings, and I groaned in protest.
"I gotta go,
before the film developing place gets crowded."
I nodded,
not saying a word. I didn't understand his passion behind his film.
Behind his playing. I imagined it was probably like my passion for my
music, and my singing, my lyrics. My band Bad Luck and I haven't been
performing lately, and I've been anxious to get back on stage, but
not until I got better.
Yuki bustled back into the room and brushed a quick kiss across my lips.
"You know the rules." he said
"Don't get up
unless I have to pee." I said " I know."
"Not
even to answer the phone... oh wait... we don't have a phone."
I
laughed and he did. It had become a joke between us, our way of
coping with the lack of bare necessities we had. But I had a roof
over my head, a warm bed, food in my stomach (no matter how meager),
and I had my beautiful Eiri Yuki, so I was content.
Hours passed, and
Yuki still hadn't come home. It was dark, and I was hungry, not to
mention cold. Worry passed through me. What if something happened?
What if he was hurt somewhere? Or what if he'd simply abandoned
me?
Sliding out of bed, I wrapped a cover around myself, placing
my feet on the cold, slightly sticky, hardwood floor. I carefully
made my way to the window, and waited there for any sign of Yuki for
hours. But I found none. About midnight, I made my way into the
hallway outside our apartment, determined to bring myself to ask my
freaky neighbor for his phone.
Not paying attention, I closed the automatic lock door behind me.
Upon hearing the
soft 'click' of the lock shutting me out of the apartment, I
collapsed against the door, too mentally tired to support my own
weight anymore. I brought my knees up to my chest, determine to
stay warm in the drafty hallway.
"Great... not only is Yuki
hurt... but I'm gonna freeze to death."
When I finally
worked up the nerve, I knocked on my neighbor's door, only to find
that he wasn't home, and I'd crawled out from under the warmth of my
cover for no reason.
Adjusting the pajamas I felt like I'd been living in for weeks, I crawled back under the heavy cover, tears of frustration stinging my eyes.
And then Yuki's voice floating back onto my memory, and I began to softly sing the lyrics he'd 'performed' for me earlier.
"Why can't you see that you are my child?
Why don't you know that you are my mind?
Tell everyone in the world, that I'm yours
Take this promise to the end of you..."
"That sounds good."
Great, now I'm dreaming...
"Shuichi? What are you doing out here?"
Careful not to let
out too much heat, I pulled back the covers, poking enough of my head
out to see Yuki, scratching his head at me.
"Yuki!" I
shouted, wanting to reach up and hug him, but not wanting to leave
the heat of the blanket
"Is everything all right?" He asked, kneeling next to me
I shook my
head.
"I was a baka..." I said "I shut the
door..."
"You-- why were you up anyways?"
"I
was worried... about you... it was getting late, and I wanted to use
Mr. Jones's phone.."
"Didn't we talk about you never
talking to that man again, after what happened last time?"
"Oh
yeah... the cat thing..." I said, slowly remembering "But...
anyways, I forgot to keep the door open, and it locked on me."
Yuki
sighed, and for a moment, I thought that he would yell at me, but he
calmly stood, and made a call to a locksmith on the pay phone outside
the building. A few moments later, he slumped down next to me.
"Now,
all that we have to do... is wait for the locksmith." He said
softly
"Which there
is no way in hell we can afford."
"Would you rather I
just kick the door open?" Yuki asked, askance
I shook my
head.
"No, we don't need anymore cold air in there."
Yuki
laughed, rustling his long fingers in my hair, scratching my scalp
like one might do a cat. We sat down, leaning against the door.
Suddenly, I was reminded of when we'd first moved to this city a
little over a year ago. We were broke, nothing but twenty dollars
between us, and nothing but our dreams to go on. Why I'd taken such a
chance and left with him was still unknown to me. Not that I
regretted it, not at all. But I had never been one to take risks, but
now, as I sat, watching Yuki take a long drag on a cigarette, I
realized that it was all worth it.
Before I met him, I'd hated my life. The same repetition of nothingness everyday. And then, when I was performing, I spotted him in the crowd, face buried behind a half burnt out cigarette and a camera. I bumped into him later that night, and somehow we ended up talking for hours. We'd shared our first kiss that night, and I then became addicted to his scent of ashes and cologne. To his touch.
And the next thing
I knew, it was months later, and we were in an unfamiliar city,
sitting at the subway station, counting pennies.
Yuki would
strum his guitar, and we would sing, and people would give money.
After three days of sleeping on park benches, we had enough for this
small apartment. And through random jobs, lucky shots and a few
performances, we've been able to keep it.
"Yuki?" I asked after a while "Why were you so late?"
He shrugged, pulling me closer to him underneath my cover.
"I got a job." He said simply
"Where?"
"Local
newspaper. I'm their new photographer."
"Oh."
Silence.
"OH!"
I shouted, jumping up, knocking the covers off, flying into one of
the fits that I, Shuichi Shindo was known for "That's great!
Yuki! I'm so proud of you!"
"Yeah..." He said
slowly "I went for a walk to clear my head."
He had a
hint of sadness in his voice. I wondered why he wasn't jumping for
joy. Calming down, I kneeled in front of him, placing my hands on his
knees.
"Yuki?" I asked "What's wrong?"
He
shook his head.
"It's just... I'm scared." he said
softly "I've never... what if I can't do this?"
I shook
my head, my pink hair flying amuck.
"No such thing! You can
do everything!" I shouted, it coming out a lot more corny then
I'd intended
Yuki laughed softly at first. And then harder, his
laughter spilling up out of him, racking his body until he fell over,
clutching his stomach. I laughed with him, and after a while, our
bodies became so sore that it hurt to take a breath. It was then,
that he looked over across the hallway for we'd both collapsed to,
his face in the matted ugly red carpet, and murmured the most
beautiful words I'd ever heard.
"I love you, so much."
I
scooted closer to him, my lips brushing his.
"Tell everyone in the world, that I'm yours?" He asked
I
nodded.
"Take this promise to the end of you?"
I nodded again, his hand finding mine in the cold air of the apartment, and squeezing on for dear life.
Even after the locksmith came and opened our door, and Yuki realizing that he'd had a spare all along. My beautiful lover, my great photographer's hand was still in mine. His amber eyes still staring in my purple, clutching my body closer.
As we
went to be that night, after a few hours of love making and before
slipping into dreams of a new future. Of more promising future and
hopefully a heated apartment, I heard Yuki singing in my ear, his
fingers mimicking the movements he'd make on his guitar on the skin
on my side, his voice soft and smooth:
Walk with me my little
child
To the forest of denial
Speak with me my only friend
Walk with me until the time
And make the forest turn to wine
His hand squeezed mine, and my eyes focused on his camera, lying haphazardly across the dresser, and smiled
Why can't you see that you are my child
Why don't you know that
you are my mind?
Tell everyone in the world
That I'm yours
Take this promise to the end of you
REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW PLEASE! Seriously, I like live and breath the stuff.
A.N. The lyrics are from System of a Down, song called Forest on their Toxicity Cd. I was listening to this one night while trying to get my crappy computer to work so I can play The Sims, and this story kind of click. I'm taking photojournalism now, so that's where the camera stuff comes from. Anyway, I was getting frustrated, so I decided I wanted to write, and this came out. Hopefully it's not to random.
I'm thinking of doing a follow up chapter, just a short one of like random fluff, telling what happened next. What do you lovely guys and gals think?
