The Growth Of A Friendship
by
LorMes
written in July 2006
" A friendship found is greater than an inheritance given "
Original quote from LorMes
Late February in New York City found profoundly cold winds and moderate yet sometimes significant snows. This one was no exception. The concrete buildings with their many different gray hues and icy glass windows added to the raw chill that was already in the air. The varying heights of the thousands of buildings made for a magnificent stalagmite-like skyline that was not equaled anywhere on the face of the earth. The temperature was a brisk seventeen degrees. Ten if you added in the wind chill factor. People from all walks of life lived in and traveled throughout the city using various modes of transportation. Millions more walked to their destinations creating a magnificent canvas of color and texture that brought about a slight warmth amoungst the chilly air.
On the upper east side of Manhattan,in a modestly furnished fourth floor loft, a large framed man in his early forties sat amoungst half a dozen small cardboard boxes in his living room. The last few remaining possessions of a loved one passed. He had spent the last few hours sifting through their contents trying to decide what was worthy enough to be kept and what should be tossed. A sometimes difficult task to the average person, and considering that he was anything but average, this task should have been easy. But it was turning out to be harder than he thought.
He sat back into his couch and rubbed his arm across his forehead. It was around 3:30 pm and he had been at this all day. To say he was tired was an understatement.
" Time to take a break " he thought. So he yawned, got up and stretched long and hard. He walked past his large living room window and gazed outside. The snow had been falling pretty steadily for the past few early afternoon hours now. That would mean that the city streets, in all probability, would soon be paralyzed , leaving rush hour traffic at a standstill for at least a few hours, so going out wouldnt be in his near future. It would take the city transportation department a few days to have the mess cleared. He laughed for a second. Continueing on, he found himself wandering off into the kitchen in hopes of finding something to eat or drink. He opened the refrigerater door and stared in for a moment. He found there were quite a few leftovers of various sorts that had been brought in from all sorts of friends and fellow police officers all week. None of which, at the moment, seemed to stimulate his sense of smell or taste. The drink selection was no better either. A half a two liter bottle of week old pepsi, three quarters of a bottle of red wine, a carton of orange juice , some half and half, and half a six pack of beer. He stepped back and sighed. Then closed the door to the fridge and went over to the sink. He grabbed a glass out of the cabinet ,filled it with water from the tap, added ice to it and returned to the living room. On his way there, he took a sip from the glass. It felt good going down. He sighed once again and sat down into his oversized black contemporary couch. Then, he placed the glass of water on the end table to his right.
He resolved himself to the fact that he was probably going to be at this task for a while. He moved forward towards the end of the couch and crouched down grabbing the first object that he could find. It was a picture from many years ago. A happy picture about times few and forgotten. He rubbed his thumb over it and placed it on the glass coffee table in front of him, in the pile of others that was beginning to accumulate. As he leaned in to reach for another object, he heard a soft knock on the door. He had a good inclining about who it was, but was not wanting to answer. He had isolated himself for the past few days and was quite content with that. The events of the last week had taken their toll on him and things were finally beginning to sink in. Company was the last thing he had on his mind.
But yet, there it was again. The soft knock. It beckoned him once again like the smell of good coffee in the morning.
Only now it was accompanied by a familiar female voice.
" Bobby ? " she said from the other side of the door.
He kept quiet, hoping that she would give up, and leave...He should have known better.
" Bobby ? I know youre in there, so dont try to avoid me. Ill stay out here all night if I have to ! "
Bobby smirked and let out a small laugh. Figuring he had no choice, he got up and went over to the door.
She heard the lock on the door being pulled back so she backed away and watched as the door was slowly opened.
Standing before her was her friend and partner Bobby Goren.
He is a staggering six foot four inches tall, which to her five foot three inch frame, made him a giant compared to her. He stood there looking tired and drained. He was wearing a pair of worn blue jeans and a deep green button down shirt, which was open to about halfway down his chest. A small smile washed across his face and his eyes lit up a bit when he saw her.
He had the door opened and was leaning into it with his left arm poised on the top of it.
" Look Alex...Im real..."was all he got out.
She interrupted him " Look Bobby, I drove all the way over here. I know youre tired and drained, but I just had to come out. " she said softly.
" So...what are you doing here ? " he asked her.
" Looking after you. " She said.
He smiled. Not big...but enough for her to know he was glad she was there.
After a few seconds , she asked him
" Well, You gonna stand there and
smile... or invite me in ? "
As if coming out of a zoned state, he said " Huh ? Oh, Sure come on in I guess. " he said.
So he moved aside and opened up the door watching his friend and partner Alex Eames slip beneath his arm and enter his private space. She had never been in his apartment before. Oh, she had dropped him off quite a few times, but was never invited in. Bobby was quite the private person when it came to his personal life.
Once she was inside, she stepped onto the small black area rug that greeted his guests. She stomped a bit to remove some of the snow that was left on her boots.
" Whew ! its cold out there. " she said
Upon shutting the door, he turned and looked at her.
" Ill bet. " he said.
Then, he pointed to the bag that was in her arms " Ah...Whats this ? " he asked.
She turned around, and smiled at him. " This... " she said.
" Is dinner. "
He raised an eyebrow which caused the distinct furrow to appear on his forehead.
" Dont look so surprised Bobby. you know I couldnt come here empty handed. " she said.
" So why come here at all ? " he asked
"Well, It just so happens that I got to thinking about you locking yourself away here this week, which by the way you should never do, and decided that you needed to have some company. "
He looked at her suspiciously. The furrow on his brow distinctly obvious once again.
She couldnt lie to her friend. He needed to be told the truth.
" Okay..." she said as she exhaled a big sigh " I confess... Everyone down at the precincts been worried about you. So yours truly... " she said as she tried her best to motion to herself with her arm full... " volunteered to come out." He found himself looking curiously at her.
" Some day to come out. " he said " You couldve froze to death in this weather. "
" Nah." she said smirking. " Anyway, while I was on my way over I found this new chinese place. So I picked us up something to eat. Whadya say ? " she asked.
Bobby nodded.
" Ill take that for a yes. Now, If youll take this..." she said as she pointed to the bag of food..." Ill get these boots off and then you can lead the way to the kitchen. " she said.
He reached out, took the bag from her and waited for her to rid her feet of the cumbersome boots.When he saw that they were off he said " This way. " as he pointed down the hall. He turned to begin walking and suddenly turned back around nearly bumping right into her. " I should take your coat. " he said.
" Ah... In a minute." she said as she motioned him forward. " Nice place you have here Bobby. " she said as she looked around. " Its very much what I would have expected. "
"Oh ? " he asked puzzled.
She smirked. As they walked through the apartment, Bobby stopped by the archway into the kitchen. " In here Alex. "
As Alex rounded the corner and entered the room, she found spotless countertops and exquisite stainless steel appliances. There was a center island which was quite modern, with stainless steel vinyl covered stools surrounding it and a chrome finished fruitbowl in the center with fresh fruit in it.
Bobby placed the bag of chinese food down on the center island. " Now can I take your coat ? " he asked her.
" Sure. " she said. So he took her coat, hat, gloves and scarf and took them over to the closet where he hung them up. When he returned to the kitchen, he found her going through his cabinets gathering all of the things they would need to eat.
He found himself staring at her. Not really intentionally but it just sort of happened. There she was, All of her
five foot three inch frame. Dressed in faded blue jeans and a red turtleneck sweater. A small gold cross hung from her neck and glistened from her sweater.Her whispy brown hair that was swept to the side and her deep brown eyes were just the right medicine he needed at the time. He couldnt turn her away. Besides, he was, afterall, a little hungry.
She turned around and saw him leaning against the wall to the kitchen. " Okay Goren, How long have you
been standing there staring at me ? "
" I wasnt staring..." he said as he looked over towards her.
" Dont try to weasel your way out of it..." she said " You were staring. " she said laughing.
He laughed a bit too. Probably the first time in a few days.
" Come on Bobby. Sit down. "
He made his way over to one of the stools and sat down.
She had made him a plate and slid it over to him.
" Fork or chopsticks ? " she asked.
" Chopsticks I guess. " he said.
As she handed him the chopsticks, he looked at her and said, " You know Eames, I am quite capable of taking care of myself. "
She smiled. " I know it. But its always nice to know that you have a friend. "
Bobby wasnt used to this. His childhood was quite lonely.
Having a mom with scizophrenia and an alchoholic dad did that. Alex was a welcome change in his life and she brought new meaning to the word friend. He liked it.
She fixed herself a plate and went to sit down when she realized that there was something missing.
" We need something to drink. " she said as she patted her hands on the counter .
" Whadya got ? " she asked.
He was about to tell her when he saw that she was already halfway to the fridge. She opened it and saw her options were very limited.
She went for the pepsi first. " Lemme guess... flat ? "
Bobby shrugged his head and nodded.
Then she reached for the beer. They both shook their heads and the beer went back as fast as it was taken.
That left the wine. As she went to grab it, Bobby suddenly remembered the water in the living room.
" Hey. Why dont you just have some ice water. I left mine inside. "
He got up and walked into the living room , retrieved his water and returned to the kitchen. As he did that, he could hear her from inside.
" Thats probably a good idea. " she said.
By the time he got back to his meal, she had already found a glass and begun to fill it with water and ice. She brought it back over to the center island and sat down.
Bobby took a few bites and placed his chopsticks down on the counter. He took his left hand and rubbed the bridge of his nose like he had a headache.
" Got a headache Bobby ? " Alex asked.
" Sort of. " He answered " Its probably from trying to go through the stuff. "
She nodded in agreement.
" You got aspirin in this place ? " she asked him.
" Down in the bathroom. First door on the right down the hall. In the medicine cabinet."
She got up and went down the hall. She found the aspirin and took out two capsules. Then she returned the bottle to its rightful place on the shelf.
She brought the pills out to Bobby and handed them to him. " Here. Take these. Youll feel better in a while. " she said
" Thanks. " he said.
The two ate in relative silence. There was small talk. However, that was primarily about the comings and goings on around the office and some of their ongoing investigations.
You see, Bobby Goren and Alex Eames were not only friends, they were detectives and partners with the New York City Major Case Squad. Thats the way things had been for the past eight years.
After he finished eating, he picked up his plate and started over to the sink.
" Leave it Bobby. Ill get it. " Alex offered.
He looked over to her and placed the plate back down on the counter.
" Thanks Alex. " was just about all he could manage.
Its not that he wasnt capable, but today,he was just...well...just plain wiped. He guessed that finally all of the events of the week were really starting to take their toll on him. He wanted to help her, however, he just couldnt.
And somehow, he knew that Alex knew it too. There were very few things in life that put Bobby Goren in a vulnerable position, and Alex seemed to be the only one who knew them. She never took advantage of them or made fun of them or of his weaknesses. In fact, she just accepted them as part of who he was. And he liked it that way.
So he smiled halfheartedly at his friend, picked up his water, made his way back into the living room, and sat back down amoungst the half-dozen boxes.
In the kitchen, Alex finished up her dinner. She took the dishes and assorted utensils over to the sink and in no time, Bobbys kitchen was spotless just like she had seen when she first arrived.
She grabbed her glass of water and headed off into the livingroom.As she did, she noticed that the water was there but Bobby wasnt.
" Bobby ? " she called out.
" In here Alex. Ill be right out. I just gotta change." " he said quietly from down the hall.
" Okay. " she replied. Before she sat down, she glanced around the living room. " Oh yeah. " she thought to herself " This is definately what I would have expected from him. " referring to the decorating. Everything in the living room was black and glass, with chrome accents. And just like the kitchen, It was spotless. Not a speck of dust.
And the books, there were shelves of them. Everything from the classics to the odd. They were there. One whole wall, floor to ceiling covered. She finally found a seat on the very masculine lined black leather sofa. Now, as she sat there, she thought to herself and wondered how she could help him go about this. That is if he wanted her to help him. She glanced over all of the boxes. Dozens of momentos,photograghs, books and articles. All, well, mostly all, about him. She reached down and picked up a small photo album. Not only pictures, but stories and captions. She slowly ran through the book. Picking and choosing which of the pictures and ensueing story she would look at. She chuckled slightly as she found her story. One about a very young and curious Bobby. A Bobby who questioned everything." I guess hes been like this all throughout his life. " she thought as she chuckled to herself.
She started to lose herself in her intrest about her elusive partner. But she started to feel as though she was treading on some sort of sacred ground. Just as she went to replace the album back into the box, Bobby appeared in the livingroom. He caught her by surprise. She didnt have time to replace the album. She stood there paralyzed with the album in her hands. Totally exposed in her own curiosity.
" Hey " she said looking guilty. " Bobby...Im so sorry ... I didnt mean to pry. " she hesitated.
He walked over to the sofa and said " No problem Alex. Its not like its Holy or something. "
Alex looked a bit releived and returned the album back to its proper box. Then she turned and looked at him.
He was looking a little more relaxed, in a navy blue sweatsuit with his feet clad only in pure as snow white socks. Quite a change from the statuesque man at the office with his nice suits and starched shirts. Yet even though he looked relaxed, his eyes told a very different story. Still slightly distant and lost. Bobby Goren didnt like feeling that way. He generally had to keep his emotions in check. Held learned that from early on in his childhood. Having a Schizophrenic Mother and Alchoholic Father provided the perfect environment for that lesson. Getting emotionally attached was something that could never happen. That created expectations, and sometimes expectations led to letdowns. Besides, it was one of the qualifications of the job. Every good police officer had to have that quality to keep them sane. Another trait that was quite obviously missing in Bobby was his sarcasm. It was his defense mechanism. Everyone knew it was one of his better known traits, but, again, it was definately not apparent right at the moment. It hadnt been all week.
" Okay Eames. I give up...what are you staring at ? "
he said. Alex just shrugged her shoulders.
" You think I wear those suits and shirts all the time ? " he asked.
" Huh ? " she said as if being pulled out of a zoned state. " I know you dont. Its just that...well, I dont think Ive ever seen you quite like this. "
" Well ? " he asked her. " Whadya think ?" he said as he stretched his arms out and circled around like a model. " Do I pass for normal ? " he asked her as he had a small laugh at his own expense.
She nodded and joined him in his laughter. " That depends on whose definition of " normal " youre trying to fit into. Come on partner..." she said " Whadya say I help you out with all of this ? " she continued as she pointed to the boxes.
Bobby stopped and looked at them too. Then looked over to her. A pained look ran quickly across his face and he withdrew ... just for a second.
Alex saw it and tried to redirect him back. " Hey, we dont have to do it if you dont want to ya know. " she said quietly " Why dont you just sit for a minute. "
He thought for a moment and started to head over to the sofa. As he sat down, he picked up his water from the endtable beside him and took another sip. A prolonged one at that. Once finished, he replaced the glass back onto the endtable. Now free of the glass of water, he turned around and looked towards Alex. He waited a minute. " You know Alex..." he said " I think this is the closest Ive ever let anybody get to my personal space...that is...besides mom. Ive sat here all week contemplating alot of things. "
" I know Bobby." she said trying again to offer comfort.
She could see his eyes begin to water. He lifted his hand and wiped his quickly tearing eyes. She had to let him do the talking. She knew that the greatest way for her to comfort him was to, well, just listen. Advice was the last thing on her mind and the last thing he wanted to hear. And she knew he probably wouldnt be receptive to it.
" I dont really know how to..well..deal with it. Ive had so many different feelings this week. And all of this stuff ? " he said as he pointed to the boxes. " Well... Its been sitting here since the day after it happened. I didnt even touch it until last night. " he paused.
Beginning once again he continued " Im really glad you showed up. " he said looking over to her.
" I know. " she said quietly as she reached out and touched his hand.
" What about your brother ? " she asked.
He turned and looked over towards her quickly.
She realized that she had made a mistake the minute he did that.
" I cant count on my brother Alex. " he said turning his gaze downward towards the floor.
She took another cautious step forward and asked him her next question.
" Did he even come to the funeral ? " she asked him
Bobby waited a minute before he answered.
" I thought I saw him in the back of the funeral home...but by the time I got there, He was gone. "
" What about out at the gravesite ? "she asked.
" I guess the same. I thought I saw him. But it proved to be just wishful thinking. I guess I should probably just forget about him...right ? "
Alex met his eyes with hers. " Only you have the answer to that Bobby. You know I cant give you that answer. " she said.
He didnt look happy. Here he sat, Bobby Goren , a 44 year old man, a veritable wealth of information on the psychology of a murderer. He can solve crimes. Get inside many a murderers mind. He can get people to confess to the most heinous of crimes on a dimes worth of evidence. And yet when it comes to this he was stumped.
Alex saw this and tried to redirect him back. " You know Bobby ? Everyone deals with grief in their own unique ways. Maybe your brother just wasnt ready to face it yet. "
" Yeah but..." he said.
" No buts Bobby. Thats just the way it is. " she said to him.
He looked down to the floor and said " Oh I dont know. I mean all week Ive been trying to come to terms with this. I know shes gone and all but I just dont know how to feel. you know ? Its crazy Alex...Its just crazy."
Alex didnt quite know how to comfort him at the moment, so she gently tapped his shoulder.
He looked up at her. She smiled slightly and said quietly " Its gonna be alright Bobby. You hear me ? Its gonna be alright. You got alot of people around you to help you through this. "
He nodded. His vulnerability as clearly read as a newspaper.
" Look. " She continued. " Lets say we get started and see what happens. How bout some music ? " she asked.
Bobby didnt see the point for music but he figured held amuse her for the moment. So he went over to his entertainment center and switched on the radio. It was the light music station that held been listening to all week. He set the volume and returned to the sofa where he had been sitting.
Alex smiled at him. " There. " she said
Bobby looked down at one of the boxes. He went to pick up something out of it when he spotted something else. Nothing unusual to anybody else, However , it was special to him. She could see it in his eyes when he spotted it.
He picked it up out of the box. What was it he held in his hand ? Just an old stuffed toy. It seemed to bring out the innocence of the little boy in him.
An old white mouse. Only not so white anymore. The fur on him was gray...and not so soft anymore. Instead of two beady black eyes , there was only one, his once long fine tail was now short and fraying and his whiskers...well, lets just say they were all crinkled up with a few missing.
Alex watched as her partner held onto it for a moment. It looked to her as if he seemed to disappear into his own world. The old mouse seemed to disappear into his large hands. He was there, right there in his own living room, but he wasnt. Held left. Went back to another time.
Another place.
Alex sat in silence next to her friend and waited patiently for him to come back. Slowly, she watched as he took the old mouse and returned it to the box.
" Bobby ? " she asked. " You wanna talk about it ? " she offered.
" What...the mouse ? " he said as he huffed a bit.
" Well, yeah...unless you wanna talk about
something else. " she said back to him.
He laughed then looked at her. " Its really quite silly you know. " he said lightheartedly.
" Silly ? Im not stupid Bobby. I know hurt
when I see it. "
He looked at her. " You know...you should have been a psychiatrist Eames... Is it that obvious ? " he asked as his gaze was drawn back down to the floor again.
In a move that was completely unscripted, she tilted her head slightly like he did to re-gain the attention of a suspect during interrogation. When her eyes met his, she nodded.
" Nice move Alex. Use my own re-direction tactic against me. " he said smiling.
" It worked didnt it ? " she asked.
He nodded.
She waited for him to start the conversation and watched as he reached into the box again to pull out the old worn out toy.
" Okay then." he said as he continued on. " Alex Eames...Meet Algernon. " he said as he made a hand gesture for introduction.
" Algernon as in the book Flowers for Algernon ? " she asked.
" Yes. Mom used to read me the story when I was a kid...you know...before she got sick. She read it to me all the time for almost a year. I loved that story. I wanted a mouse just like him...So she bought me one...a real one. " He smiled. " We had everything. The cage, the wheel and all. We made little mazes for him. It was great for a while and then...well, one day dad came home drunk as usual. They started to fight, I dont remember about what. "
" Oh no. " she thought as she shook her head.
He continued " Next thing I knew, I heard a door slam and footsteps coming down the hall. Headed right for our bedroom. My brother and I knew what we had to do. So we ran over to the closet, got inside and hid. When he went to close the door, I saw Algernon in his cage. running on his wheel. I asked my brother to wait. Told him I had to get to Algernon. He told me I was being stupid. Then he pushed me back and shut the door. I sat in that dark closet and cried. He told me to shut up or else held beat the crap outta me himself. "
Alexs heart was breaking. She could only imagine what was coming.
" Next thing I knew, the door to our bedroom flung open and dad stood there. I shut up real quick. He yelled for us. Joey had my mouth clasped in his hand like a vice. I couldnt have answered if I wanted to. Next thing I heard was mom. She screamed at my dad. Told him to leave us alone.
Then he smacked her. She fell back on the floor. I heard her crying. I had had it. I pushed my brothers hand away from my mouth and I opened the closet door. I stood there in front of my father, who towered over me. I looked over to where mom was laying on the floor. There was a small pool of blood forming around her head. She was moaning a bit.He took a step towards me, told me to never mind her and to look at him. He told me what a chicken shit he thought I was because I was hiding in the closet. He asked me if I thought I was man enough to protect my mom. I couldnt back down. I stood there adamantly. I walked between him and mom. He looked over to Joey and gave him a look like " can you believe this kid " Joey looked over to me and I saw in his eyes for the first time...and probably the last time a look that told me that he thought I was crazy for trying to stand up to our dad. Especially when he was drunk like this. I didnt care. Enough was enough. I couldnt look at mom again. I wouldve cried. So I spread my legs and drew up my hands into fists. I looked him straight in the eye and told him I could." Bobby paused for a minute. " I was stupid Alex. That man took me down in one shot. And not just me. As I was going down, I heard a loud crash. "
Bobby stopped. Looked over at the small toy in his hand.
Alex could see where this was gonna go and she didnt like it one bit.
He continued on. " I looked over towards the crash. I thought he was alright...and then I saw him. Algernon, he was crushed under a pile of glass chards. Only he wasnt dead. But he was dying. I watched for what seemed forever. I watched Algernons little body as it twitched. It wasnt long though. " Bobby looked up at Alex and she saw his eyes water.
" I watched that mouse take his last breathe Alex. Everyone in that room got quiet. My brother Joey moved over to his bed and just stood there. Mom was struggling to get up And when she finally did, she grabbed ahold of my fathers arm and tried to drag him out of the room. She told him enough was enough. But dad. He was able to pull free from moms hold. She backed away and drew her hands up to her mouth. She was afraid for me. I could see it in her eyes. Dad inched his way closer and closer to me. The look he had on his face was clear as day. He hated me Alex...and he hated Algernon too. Maybe more.
When he was inches in front of my face, he lifted his arm up with an open hand as if he was gonna backhand me. Mom drew in a sharp breath as dad drew his hand down on my face. It hurt like hell Alex. But I just stood there and took it. Dad looked over at me and told me I was finally learning how to " take it like a man " Then he backed away from me. As he did, he told me in no uncertain terms that he wanted the room cleaned up before he woke up in the morning. I knew that even if I didnt clean it he wouldnt remember what had happened. So, he walked over to mom grabbed her by the arm and told her to go with him back to the bedroom. She looked back at me and I knew if she stayed, dad would have come back in and started up again. My brother looked at me shook his head and climbed into bed. Within a few minutes he was asleep. I dont know how, but he was. Anyway, I stayed up and waited until everyone was sound asleep, which was a while because the walls in my house were thin. I heard what my father was doing with my mother. Forcible sex isnt pretty to listen to but I knew better than to try to go in on them and fight him. Especially after what had just happened. So I climbed up on my bed and waited. When everything was quiet, I got up out of my bed and cleaned everything up myself, starting with my mothers blood, then going to Algernon. I picked him up and carefully wrapped him up in one of my old socks. Then I placed him in a small box and went outside in the cold and buried him myself. The next morning, everyone got up and life went on as if nothing ever happened. That Christmas, I didnt ask for anything. Dad had left us and we had no money. I got alot of stuff from you know, the neighbors good charity, but the only gift that mattered to me was the one I got from my mom."
He held up the old stuffed toy. She got it for me at a second hand shop. It was the best Christmas I ever had Alex. Algernon was immortal. "
Alexs eyes had begun to water also as she sat and listened to that story. She just got a small glimpse of what one moment in his evasive life was like. Her " bigger than life ", partner with all of his aquired knowledge and quirky mannerisms could have and should have been an angry, bitter man. Certainly if this one example was any indication of what the rest of his childhood was like, He should have turned out much differently. The Bobby Goren she knew was shy except when he didnt need to be, he was caring and dedicated. Loyal to his friends, of which he didnt have very many. He had unknowingly shown her a childlike quality within himself that no-one else had ever seen. She wanted to give him a hug right there, but she knew he was not an overly affectionate man. That was unless, he wanted to be. She looked at him for a moment. Eyes met eyes. Not a word transpired between the two of them yet understanding deepened. Unspoken words meant a new plateau. Yet in his quietness he seemed to be more confused than ever.
He sank into the couch, took a deep breath and looked over to her " I cant do this Alex. Im not ready. " he said.
" You know Bobby ? " she asked.
" Huh ? " he replied.
" Ive gained a new and deeper respect for you. "
" Hows that Alex ? " he asked.
" You did something that not many people could have done given those same circumstances. " she said.
He was very quiet.
" You survived...and not only that, you turned a very bad situation around and made it good. Your dad, If thats what you want to call him...Well, lets just say its a good thing hes not around. Ild have to beat some sense into him. "
He wanted to laugh. Her last statement brought a small smile to his face.
" Come on Bobby.You cant tell me that that man you call dad deserves that title...can you ? " she asked him.
" A father or dad...well they have to care. A parent often times learns more from their child than they think. What you had was a controlling alchoholic. He had a choice Bobby. To be a father..or ..drink...He chose to drink. And as far as your mother is concerned, you know as well as I do that you cant just " turn off " schizophrenia. That comes as an uninvited guest. "
She was right and he knew it.
She continued on " Besides wasnt it you that once told me that you had lost her a long time ago ? " she asked him.
He sat and thought for a minute.
" I know what I said Alex. But the more I go through this stuff, the more convinced I become that somewhere in the far reaches of her mind, even though it had been invaded by Schizophrenia, she knew and never forgot who I was. "
Alex looked at him sympathetically " Thats not completely impossible Bobby. She had her lucid moments." Alex said.
" Yes she did. didnt she ? " he answered as he smiled at her. " You know ? " he continued " Sometimes during this last week, Ive thought that maybe...just maybe, she might be better off where she is. Is that normal Alex ? "
Alex sat quietly listening to him. She didnt quite know what to say. But then she cleared her throat and began to say " You know what ? Theres no real value in the word normal is there Bobby ? "
" Huh ? " he asked giving her a quizzical look.
" Think about it. normal...what the hell is that ? "she asked him.
" I guess youre right. " he said looking back to her.
" Thanks for clarifying that for me. " he said as he laughed a bit.
" No. Im serious Bobby.What if were the ones who are abnormal ? I mean, look at what we do for a living. I mean, we spend our days and sometimes our nights trying to solve murders, dealing with the scum of the earth. Were in a futile job. Murder will never end. It will get more and more heinous... I dont think Ive had a date since Ive been on the job. Forget the idea of having a lasting relationship. I could never hang on to that. I eat fast food almost every night of the week. "
He laughed. " I see what youre saying. And I totally understand. Only in my case, Ive tried the relationship thing...only once...but I did try it. It only made my life more hectic than it already was. You know ? And if I really think about it...the only person Ive spent any amount of time with on and off the job is..."
" Go on. " she said " Is who ? " she asked.
Bobby Goren stared straight into the eyes of his friend and partner.
" Well...is...you. You Alex. " he said. " Think about it Alex. " he said as he looked into her eyes. " Weve been partnered for so long. Eight years if I have it correct. "
She nodded.
" Youve been there through everything. And now this. Even my own brother stayed away. " he said.
She found that she was slightly embarrassed.
" You stuck it out with me Alex. Before you came along, I couldnt hold onto partners. I went through ten partners in three years and then you came along. Do you know how close I came to losing my job ? Deakins was under alot of pressure to do something with me. "
Alex looked at him as if she was going to cry. " Now do you understand why, when Judge Garrett brought in my request for transfer papers that I filed years ago, and then made me read those awful things I wrote about you, I just about died on the stand ? " she asked him as she started to tear up.
" It doesnt matter Alex. " he said as he drew her eyes up to his. " I am an aquired taste. Just like you said at that trial.So Ill repeat this once again... Im lucky you withdrew your letter. " he said. " Im truly fortunate to have such a wonderful partner. "
" Bobby, thats really nice of you to say. " she said.
" Well, Its true, every bit of it. And guess what ? "
She looked at him " What now Goren ? " she said as she wiped her eyes.
" I bet anything...if she were here and in her right mind, sheld love you. "
Alex didnt know what to say.
The two sat together ... quietly ...for a minute and then resumed their task of going through the remaining boxes. He realized right then and there that everything would be okay.
That night, Bobby Goren discovered what it was like to have a friend...a real friend. His life was forever changed in that even though he had lost his mother, he gained Alex Eames. Someone he knew he could count on, in a whole different way. One door closed ...another opened. Its like God had given him a second chance at having a so-called normal life. And he wasnt about to waste it.
fin
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