"I may be as woefully wrong as Humphrey Belcher, who believed the time was ripe for a cheese cauldron." -Albus Dumbledore, HBP

It was a normal day in Diagon Alley, all the shoppers rushing about to buy their things. If you looked really closely, you could see a plum man at one of the side stalls, showing what he had to sell to the passing crowd.

"Now I assure you, these cauldrons are made of only the finest quality materials!" Humphrey Belcher yelled at the crowd. "Get one now, they're the best!"

Cautiously, a young witch approached him, looking interested in the cauldrons. "You're sure about that? This isn't just some fraud cooked up to get our money?"

Humphrey sighed. Why did people always have to be so cynical? This invention of his would surely change the world, it would revolutionize potion making as they knew it.

Taking one of the sample cauldrons, he showed it to the woman. "You see that? What that cauldron's made of?"

The witch looked at it, a bit flustered. That wasn't really made of…

"Cheese!" said Humphrey. "Pure, 100 percent cheese."

"I—wha—cheese?"

"Yes, cheese!" Humphrey smiled. "Only the finest cheese goes into the creation of these cauldrons, ma'am! You have my word."

The poor young witch was now completely confused. "But… isn't… well, cheese, a rather… unusual material for cauldrons?"

"Unusual? Well, now it is, but it soon won't be!" Humphrey exclaimed. "Soon the entire wizarding world will be using them, I tell you! This is the start of a revolution in potion-making!"

"Well… well, I—I was just looking," the woman stuttered, trying to slink away from the cheese-loving madman.

"Madam, please! It is a bargain, only seven sickles! That's why it'll be so widely used someday!" Humphrey pleaded. "Very cheap, and very dependable! After all, how can you go wrong with cheese?"

"Well—I—I suppose it wouldn't hurt to buy one… there's a bit extra in my budget today…" The woman said, eager to get away from Humphrey. If it meant buying one of his silly cheese cauldrons, so be it.

"Excellent, madam!" Humphrey looked positively delighted. "I assure you, your money will not be wasted!"

Quickly, the witch got out her purse, and counted out seven sickles. Humphrey handed her the cauldron, and she took off at a very fast pace, muttering about cheese and lunatics.

Oh, well, that's seven sickles down the drain, she thought. But let's try to be optimistic…

But wait, at least I have a snack after all my real shopping's done, she said, as an afterthought. After all, you really can't go wrong with cheese… especially as an afternoon snack.

END

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Whee, I reread HBP and this is what happened. I cooked up this little non-story when I couldn't fall asleep. Totally random, not supposed to be taken seriously. But since poor old Dumbledore mentioned it, the phrase 'cheese cauldron' has been stuck in my head. I know I'll get shot for not updating my other story before making this one.

-is shot-