Disclaimer: I don't own House...If only...
Author's note: Well, here we go. My first story. This was originally conceived as a school assignment for Latin class, so excuse the large words. The class received a list of words we had to use...so..yeah.
Revenge
(Based on television series House M.D.)
Doctor Gregory House had always vexed the female doctors of Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. He often hired women solely based on their physical attributes. Whether he was disputing Dr. Hadley's sexuality, or objectifying Dr. Cameron, he was always intruding in other's business.
Eventually Doctor Lisa Cuddy, Dean of Medicine and hospital administrator, decided it was time to step in. She was tired of Dr. House's puerile actions. She felt he needed to grow up, and decided to teach him a lesson. However, this was easier said than done. Even though Dr. Cuddy was officially in charge, Dr. House was the omnipotent presence in the hospital. He found a way to get around every rule. He performed dangerous surgeries, based his diagnosis on cursory whims and his overall employment attitude was sloppy at best.
Today Dr. Hadley and Dr. Kuttner (another doctor at Princeton-Plainsboro) were treating a man who worked in the agricultural business. He had sustained multiple lacerations along his right forearm when the thresher had sucked his arm in along with a bail of hay. He was lucky that the extent of the injuries were not too severe.
Dr. House was busy diagnosing a man that had sleeping problems, and would constantly somnambulate. Dr. Cameron was working on a nautical injury. She was dislodging a large fishing hook from the lower left thigh of a sailor.
Dr. Cuddy decided around noon that she should make her rounds of the hospital. She started with Dr. Hadley and Dr. Kuttner. As she walked in the room they were just finishing stitching up the farmer's arm. She cleared her throat softly. Dr. Hadley rose and looked at her for approbation. Cuddy nodded and the two of them left together.
The farmer looked at Kuttner in confusion.
"Are they-"
He was quickly cut off by a razor-sharp glare. Kuttner shoved the needle and thread through the farmer's arm with increased viciousness. The farmer winced and silenced himself quickly.
Meanwhile, Cuddy and Hadley made their way to the ER, where Cameron was busy with the sailor's injuries. As they stood waiting for her to finish, House walked in. He limped impatiently up to the patient.
"Fish got the better of you?" He said sarcastically, "What an idiot."
Cuddy sighed.
"Excuse him…" She apologized, "His probity is overwhelming."
Almost immediately she realized what she had implied. Both Hadley and Cameron had to stifle their laughter as they watched their boss try to undo what she had said. House just stood there, leaning on his cane and smirking.
"I-I didn't mean to say you are stupid, that I agree...just- just, he…he was saying…" She stuttered, "I-I mean, I never know what I'm saying… Well, I hardly ever do…I'm-I'm the stupid one here, if-if..."
"I can attest to that!" House said quietly.
"I-I apologize for my rudeness." Cuddy kept muttering.
The three women then stood up and exited the room. They walked down the long hallway to the office of Dr. Cuddy. They had important business to discuss. What they didn't know, however, was that Dr. House had followed them down the hallway. He caught snatches of their conversation from within.
"…a complete incursion of our privacy!"
As he listened in, Dr. Wilson walked up to him.
"What are you doing?" He inquired, noticing House's odd position as he strained to hear what the women within the room were saying.
"Shh!" House reprimanded.
"…selfish, unloving man!"
"Ooh, man, that's harsh!" Wilson exclaimed.
"Shh!" House said with increasing agitation. "Complete lies! That stupid mendacious little bit--"
"Shh!" Wilson said quickly, "They're coming this way!"
The quickly scurried away from the door and busied themselves with other things. House pretended to be incredibly interested in a fake potted plant, while Wilson knelt down to tie his shoe and nervously fidgeted with his fancy signet ring.
"In conclusion ladies," Cuddy stated, "We cannot all exist concurrently. We need to find a way to make him leave."
A look of shock passed over all three of the women's faces as they opened the door to find the two doctors there. Wilson looked guiltily up at Cuddy and muttered some half-hearted apology before sheepishly scuttling away to his office.
Dr. House turned from the potted plant to face Cuddy, Hadley and Cameron. They gazed back at him intensely. He suddenly, for one of the first times ever, felt truly scared of women. He had always thought himself superior until now. As they glared spitefully at him, he felt more insignificant than a speck of dirt on the bottom of Dr. Cuddy's black stilettos. He realized that he was going to have to be very careful in what he said and did next.
"Uh…um…Doctor Cuddy…Doctor Cameron…Thirteen," Thirteen was what House referred to Doctor Hadley as, referring to her number as an intern, "How, how very nice to see you all."
They looked coldly back at him. He gulped.
"I'm so very, very sorry ladies. You see, I was...um…looking for more work." He fibbed in a sickly sweet voice, almost to the point of sounding uxorious. The women didn't buy it, for they knew he wasn't really all that fond of them.
"Uh huh." Doctor Cameron said.
"Right." Doctor Hadley said.
"More work, eh," Cuddy started, "Is that what you really want?"
"Uh…yes, yes, of course!" House stuttered. He hated this strange feeling of inferiority.
"Well then," She continued, "How about this. First, you go clean the sheets in room 314. I heard the patient made quite a mess. All those laxatives I presume."
Doctor House grew very pale.
"Then," Doctor Hadley butted in, "You can perform the colonoscopy for Dr. Taub. I heard he was looking for some help."
House started backing away slowly.
"Oh, yes, and there was that model…" Doctor Cameron added, "In need of a physical I believe."
His mood was increasingly lightened by that last job. Cameron smirked, seeing he had taken the bait.
"I'll start with the model." He stated quickly and left.
However, all was not as it seemed. House walked down the halls happily, whistling to himself. "It always turns out good in the end," He thought to himself. Nevertheless, when he got to the examination room he found a scantily dressed man standing there.
"The hell are you doing here!?" House asked in shock.
"I could ask the same thing," The man model said in disgust, "What happened to that sexy blonde doctor they promised me!"
House walked over to the model to get the physical over with, but was completely rejected. The man pushed him away and told him the never touch him again.
"Hmm…" Thought House, "If Cuddy thinks I'm bad she should see this guy. He only wants a hot blonde chick to do his physical."
House had a sudden idea. He could get Cuddy to come down and try to give this man a physical. He was certain the man would reject Dr. Cuddy for not being young or blonde enough. It would get her back for making him look like such an imbecile earlier.
"Look," House said, fully intending to go fetch Cuddy "If you tell me this 'sexy, blonde' doctor's name, I'll find her for you."
"Her?" The man model appeared confused.
House just half-heartedly walked away. He hated the women of the hospital.