a/n: Yeeeaaahhh I don't own any of the characters unless my mind suddenly explodes and I throw someone in that I shouldn't but figured it would be funny anyways.
Okay, let's get this straight, I don't know how it happened so don't ask. I woke up and I was paranoid that's the entire story! THERE IS NO BACKGROUND TO IT. Currently my life felt like a horror movie where if I didn't look behind me every few seconds something would latch on me and rip me apart. Then again I currently had the paranoia that any second now my desk would explode and something would eat my face. I was fairly sure at this point that my entire class was out to kill me. Zombies, Vampires, Were-wolves, anything that could really hurt and most people wouldn't seem coming, probably even a few heartless, though now Riku just referred to them as Teachers.
I looked over my shoulder, the other students were talking happily awaiting the start of class, so far no movements to kill me… Yet. I wish I had brought a shotgun, seems extreme to you but if zombies were about to attack I'd want a boomstick, I'd settle for the Keyblade I guess, but when facing anything that isn't a heartless or nobody, you'd sort of want something else though blunt objects do work. Either way when fighting that which can be considered the walk dead or end of the world bringers or just wild animals I guess, you sort of want a gun, a big one at that. If video games and horror movies have taught me anything it's that the bigger the gun, the more likely you are to live, or if you have a chainsaw, they were very good for the use against walking hordes of death. However sadly Riku maintained his current obsession, keeping me in school, which meant not getting expelled and probably arrested… Stupid Riku being all logical and stuff… denying my need of defensive items to defend myself against the zombies.
He just wrote it off as an irrational fear… I'll show him irrational. But against my better judgment he "convinced" me to leave my defense at home… He was a very convincing guy on the weekends when we were alone in a room… Very convincing indeed. So I sat in the middle of a Physics class with talking students still sure any moment a zombie would latch onto my head and rip my flesh away. Oh joy. Eventually though I couldn't stand keeping my eyes off him any longer… Will power fails sometimes. As always he sat in the desk to my left staring at his notes waiting for our teacher to show, Captain Wingbag.
"Sora," he didn't even look at me, "what are you thinking? You hear head is whipping around like an ADD dog in a new place filled with toys and food."
"That was bad even for you," I muttered.
"Okay ADHD," He smiled and I could feel someone fain. Stupid bloody 'Can't argue with' award winning smile that forces one to smile back and causes people to faint. I was used to the fangirling by now, I mean I had no reason to care if there was one thing I knew it was that Riku was happily gay. However this time I had to look over my shoulder and look at the girls. Paranoia doesn't come with a gay sense apparently; it was only good at making crazy conclusions about things that don't make sense to most people. I'M TELLING YOU THEY MAKE SENSE AND I CAN PROVE IT! But of course Paranoia came with fear, chance and so on… Wow being paranoid sucks I mean it doesn't even give you anything cool it just makes you look like an idiot. I MEAN COME ON! I can't even have a conversation with myself! I only get to destroy my neck and use Riku as a Meat Shield!
Class started, I didn't pay attention. Paranoia topped Physics any day… Despite it's lacking social add-ons like talking to yourself. I ended up figuring out who was what I got up to seven zombies who only disguised themselves by bathing in perfume and cologne, to the point I'd sure I die with choking, seriously the rotting dead smell would feel better. THEY FAIL AT HIDING THEMSELVES! Five vampires, I was still trying to figure out how they hid so well… ONE OF THESE DAYS I SHALL KNOW! YOU CAN'T HIDE FOREVER! Two Werewolves, I'd say they were just Furries but they didn't seem to be obsessed with sex. Though I could be wrong I was still fairly sure on the were-wolf part. I was also fairly sure one kid was Frankenstein's creation… I SWEAR HE TOOK HIS ARM OFF ONCE! I SWEAR! I'M NOT INSANE! The other eight students I wasn't sure on but I'd figure it out soon enough… It was only a matter of time.
Riku sighed clearly figuring out what was going through my mind, then again at the rate my head was whipping around I'm fairly sure most people figured out I was insane. After looking around, having issues staying still the class did eventually class ended.
"You know not everyone is out to kill you," Riku said as we started to walk out offering me some sheets of paper, "I took an extra copy of notes for you."
"Thanks," I shot a glance over my shoulder.
"Tell me when you get whiplash from that," he laughed happily.
"I can't help it!" I yelled, "It feels like something wants me dead.
"Okay how many horror movies did you watch last night?" Riku asked as we continued to walk. We put our books away at some point but I was out of it.
"None."
Riku sighed realizing my paranoia was still getting to me as I did a full 360 in the hall… I couldn't help an entire PACK of werewolves walked past me. I MEAN COME ON HOW DO YOU NOT DEFEND YOURSELF FROM THAT!? Luckily Riku grabbed my books for my next class as he asked me another question, "How much Resident Evil?"
"I beat RE4 last week, I don't care about the other games."
"Nice," he replied with a half smile he had finished it for a while but I had to admit for a zombie yet non-zombie horror game RE4 defiantly won in terms of awesome, mostly because Leon was a hero I could actually like, "Half-life? Portal?"
"Haven't played either in a while. Though have you ever questioned why they symbol for the game Half-life is the symbol for waves yet the actually symbol for half-life for physics isn't?"
"Not really," Riku replied continuing with his questions, "Bioshock?"
"Wouldn't that make me afraid of little girls and deadly drills of death?"
"I don't know how your mind works," Riku laughed again, "It makes less sense then Vampire the Masquerade."
I stayed silent.
"Oh God," Riku groaned, "You joined another World of Darkness group!"
"Maybe…" World of Darkness was a book and dice game done by White Wolf. It was based strongly on mystery and problem solving with a lot of horror.
Riku restrained himself from hitting his head on a wall," Stop doing this to yourself."
That's when I saw him, long white hair, an annoying voice and obsessed with darkness. Ansem. I blinked watching him walk down another hall as we passed.
"Sora?" Riku asked.
"Did you see…?"
"What another vampire?"
"Ansem."
"Close enough," Riku laughed, "Ansem the wise or insane dead Ansem?"
"Insane."
"Yes, yes you are," Once more he laughed. "He's gone Sora, he's not coming back."
I was sure I saw him as we continued to walk down another hall, once more I looked over my shoulder.
"That will get on my nerves really quickly," Riku mutterd.
"I swear I saw him," I replied.
"Right," he rolled his eyes we had reached our next class. I hadn't really paid attention when we dropped our books away and prepared for the one class that could possibly with any lick calm me down… Unless we got a really crappy sub which wasn't often. Either way band was kick butt for calming nerves, the class was full of people I liked and even if they were vampires, zombies, werewolves, and so on, they wouldn't kill me! I KNOW IMPOSSIBLE!? Zombies and Vampires that DON'T kill people!? No one kills another band member, natural rule.
Riku set up his silver trumpet, brand new, his own and out did everything about my ordinary school reject. The silver was polished and reflected light, which I had seen him, used to see his music once… It was sort of funny to watch. He put his black case away, just as perfect as the trumpet. It honestly felt like he was out to outdo me. My ordinary school trumpet, over used, and possibly more dents then trumpet… I don't know how that's possible but if you saw this thing, it is. It was scratched up all over, and its tone no where near as good as Riku's but better then my alternative… A Kazoo. The case was basically duct tape, with another layer of duct tape, a couple of layers of possibly masking tape and oh joy more duct tape… Did I mention the duct tape? There was lot, a least five rolls holding together the other five rolls. IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE TO ME EITHER OKAY!?
"This should be fun," Riku muttered as I sat down beside him, "sounds like we got a sub."
…Don't you just hate how some things work out?
Subs weren't bad in any class accept band. They had a habit of under estimating the band, which annoyed us until they accepted we knew what we were doing better then they did, which didn't happen often normally they just remained ignorant. Even with this unlikely, rather disappointing event I felt my paranoia leaving me for just a bit I didn't have to look over my shoulder, as strange as it was there was a connection with the band, we stuck together we could pick on each other but no one else messed with us. No one messed with our team when we were together.
Joke fights broke out as Riku leaned casually back in his seat I grinned and laughed along with the group. Riku yelled a few jokes across the room, it felt good to be "normal" as normal as a band student could be. We were all hyper, friendly and I'm fairly sure most of us were fairly insane after a few incidents that involved, silly string and water-guns.
Only thing I could be afraid of here was dropping my trumpet, knocking stands over, tripping, having the conductor lose control and whip his baton at me, valve oil in the eye, percussion players hitting the snare to hard causing a reaction that sent the stick flying at my head, a trombone player losing control of their slide that happened to be aimed towards me, getting my hand stuck inside my trumpet. All rational fears! CLEARLY!
The bell rang, but like anyone cared, the band was always considered "early" since we were all happy to be Band Geeks. Thus we waited for the sub to show while others talked happily.
"So how many vampires in band?" Riku laughed as we waited.
"Only the percussion players," I grinned normally I would have hit him over the head for such a thing but I was so calm now I didn't care. Paranoia lost to band.
"This sub better show soon I'm bored," Riku complained.
"Knowing you you'll burst into song and get an entire band to entertain us," I snickered happily.
"Well I could get a guitar tuned up in a few seconds, and I'm sure I can convince a few others to join in," Riku grinned, "I can always take lead as long as the percussion keep a beat, and the base hits the cords we could carry an entire song."
"What song would you choose?" I asked.
"Probably When You Were Young," Riku grinned, "Rock band has trained enough people to play the percussion part that the base would be easy enough to get going and I know the guitar part. Though I could do a Cartel song but those are less known so it would be harder to get a group working on it. There are so many choices."
"Right," I smirked, "So how would you fill in all the parts? Not everyone can keep the harmony going or really anything else."
"Simple it's me," He grinned back, "if I have to I'll take the hardest part and teach someone the cords quickly."
"Okay honestly is there any instrument you can't play?" I asked rolling my eyes.
"Flugelhorn," Riku said… God only knows how he kept a straight face when saying that.
"Wait what?"
"Flugelhorn," Riku replied his face still straight, "Mostly because I've never tried it, and yes I'm serious."
"It sounds like it was named by Dr. Seuss," Well it did.
"That's okay, it looks like it was made by Dr. Seuss," Riku grinned, "I think the school even has one in working in order. I should find it."
"What DOES it look like?" Okay silly question I mean something made by Dr. Seuss? That's just asking for it.
"A deformed trumpet," Once more straight face, "I really should try it."
"Right," I had to laugh at that. I could only imagine Riku as a Who in the Grinch that Stole Christmas… That image will haunt me for the rest of my life… NIGHTMARES FOR ALL!
"What's taking the fresh meat so long?" Riku asked he got bored quickly when he had a trumpet right there, and no one starting a song… Mostly I think it was he liked to show off. Riku had always held a lot of control in the band anyone, be they a sub or a new student was just "fresh meat" to him, they either conformed to his will or they were out very quickly… He was intimidating with his trumpet I had to admit, he played it fro the power and the feeling of leadership… Mostly he just didn't like to follow people and wanted the melody so to do that it was either Clarinet, Flute or Trumpet. That's where the power came in. Most people didn't leave when they met him they easily conformed… Stupid Charismatic personality making everyone like him instantly thus causing the badn to double in size easily.
"Who knows, you could always make the trombones conduct and the lead the band through practice," I smirked.
"Didn't we do that once?"
"Yep," we had done it once when the usual teacher was taking to long in his office, so Riku had convinced a trombone player to get up and conduct the song using the slide of the trombone.
"I'll admit it is tempting," He grinned again but it faded quickly as he looked past me, turning his look into one of shock and horror.
PARANOIA TIME!? IS PARANOIA TIME ALREADY?! HUZAH PARANOIA TIME!
I followed his gaze, God I hate it when I'm right. "Told you so," was all I could choke out as I laid eyes on our sub.
Ansem as a substitute was just weird and creepy all at once, but being paranoid as I was see him walking into the class caused me nightmares… In the day… Daymares.
"This is wrong on so many levels," Riku muttered sinking into his chair.
Ansem's eyes traveled right to us, YEP HE REMEMBERD US! He was actually glaring at us as soon as he entered the room to the point where I dropped my trumpet. I bent over carefully to get it as Ansem walked to the front of the band. About then I heard the snare get hit, hard from the intensity of the sound.
"SORA LOOK OUT!" Riku yelled.
It startled me and all at once I lost grip on the trumpet the mouth piece side fell down first but I went to grab the bell be fore it hit the ground. I had it for a second only I was hit forward by sudden intensity caused by impact of a drumstick hitting the back of my head. Sadly this caused my hand to slide nicely into the bell of my trumpet.
First off, OW OH GOD OW! THOSE THINGS HUT! It was weighted heavily on one part which had hit my head the other side was light but I had shot up right away and OH GOD! If you ever get hit with a drumstick don't shoot up until you hear it hit the ground FOR GODS sake. It got caught between my back and the back of the chair as I shot up. OH GOD THE PAIN!
Second off, hands plus Trumpet bell equal bad.
"…Riku?"
"Are you okay," Riku leaned toward me worried.
"…My hand is stuck…" No I was serious.
"…How the hell?" He clearly trying to hold back a laugh, I couldn't blame him, by the next class everyone would be laughing at this.
"Look I don't know how, just help me!" I snapped as Ansem spoke to the class. Riku got up and walked to one of the trombone players whispering something. He soon returned with a small round white container.
"What is that?" I asked trying to get my hand free… Okay seriously how could it get THIS stuck?
"Slide cream," He was trying not to laugh again but he held his own and had a poker face within seconds. He opened the container and carefully put the slide cream around my hand and one the trumpet. He eventually got me free, faster then I would have. "You'd better go wash off your hand and clean your trumpet, that smell will travel up the bell into your mouth and that's not pleasant… Well unless you plan to get your hand stuck again." He grinned… Urge to hurt rising…
"Haha," I rolled my eyes. There was a hall attached to the band room that lead to the practice rooms, it was in the far corner, far away from my seat in the back row so I walked around to it trying to convince myself no one was watching… I fail at lying to myself… At the end of the hall was a sink and some paper towels. There was a loud tuning note and not long after a song started while I wiped away the cream. I knew the song well, easy for a trumpet player, for the trombones, who I was certainly thankful for today, both hated it and loved it all at once. Okay they're weird, honestly I won't try to explain anything about them because apparently weird instruments attract weird people. Trombones were certainly weird instruments. The song constantly had them going from what they call their first position was basically closest to them, to their sixth which was second farthest, near the end of the slide. I had no clue how they did it. The song made them go rapidly back and forth at a blinding speed; their hands were basically blurs with speed when they went at it. I could see why they hated it, I swear their arms would dislocate themselves any second.
The song suddenly stopped with Ansem's yelling, "FASTER! You call that fast!? Get those trombones in my face come on! Try standing up get better support I want that to over power everything. I want those things in my face so I can see the darkness of the inside of the bell!"
Oh joy, he was still obsessed with darkness. I had gotten the grease off my hand and got my trumpet clean, well as clean as I could considering the years of abuse it had endured. If my worst nightmare wasn't outside waiting I would have stopped to mourn for its tone. Stupid grade 10's got new ones but nooo the senior band members got the gimped stuff still. Maybe all of the years of silly string did add up to something… and the water-gun fights in the halls of hotels... NOPE! Clearly this was purely favoritism. He clearly wanted to make the grade 10 players feel special! CLEARLY!
I walked back to the room, possibly a very bad mistake on my part considering my luck. I checked for the walking dead they'd probably show up the second I didn't check thus checking was important, it stopped things that might happen from happening!
"Faster!" Ansem has started the song again and once more was yelling at the trombone players who were forced to stand with their trombones held high. Today's goal for Ansem: dislocate someone's arm. Clearly he was out to succeed this time, a keyblade could not stop this.
I walked behind him to go around, it was the easiest way back the trumpet section. I looked away for only a moment I swear! Then I was on the ground.
Ow.
Recap time! Trombone player one was nervous and working too hard, causing sweat. Forcing to aim the trombone up, which left no defense between the slide and myself. The player moved from first position to sixth, the momentum continued as the grip slipped. The slide hit the side of my head. As I laid face down in pain I suddenly felt a very very light pressure on my back as something landed there… A conductor's baton… I swear someone had a list of my fears, and checked them off. Paranoia was just pure mean.
I got up, most people didn't know what to do or think. Luckily no one made a big deal of it... Yet. So class continued, but the story would come back to haunt me.
Eventually class did end, I'M NOT DEAD YET! SCORE ONE FOR ME!
To early?
YEP!
Sadly during pack up I knocked over an entire row of stands, while tripping, and sadly my landing was on… OH JOY an open thing of valve oil. My hand hit it and it happily made friends with my eye. Isn't that a nice story? Let me now take the moment to say one thing…
OH GOD IT BURNS! GET IT OUT GET IT OUT GET IT OUT! THE PAIN OF BLOODY HELL IT BURNS! I don't know what hurts more staring into the sun for an hour or the burning pain of valve oil. OH GOD OW!
Do… Not… EVER… use that stuff… on anything that isn't a instrument. FOR GODS SAKE! It's as painful as stabbing yourself in the eye with a pen… SEVERAL TIMES! OH BLOODY OW!
"You have no luck today," Riku leaned on the counter as I tried to stop the pain, he had half dragged me to the washroom.
"Luck? What is this luck you speak of?" I splashed my water on my face, the pain was dieing, "I wonder how long before something serious happens."
"Don't worry about it," Riku replied in thought, "I'm not gonna let anything to bad happen to you."
"Right, was that your valve oil?" I asked staring at him as I got a paper towel allowing the cold-water soak into it then holding it to my burning eye.
"Ironically enough it was yours," He replied.
Just my luck.
"I need to get a retraining order on Ansem," Riku hopped onto the counter. It was currently lunch and to my luck we were the only ones in the washroom at the time so no one else has to see my currently red eye.
"I still told you," I muttered.
"Okay it's creepy, doesn't mean anything though," Riku replied, "can you see?"
"Yeah, that was the eighth most painful thing I've ever had happen though," I replied looking at myself in the mirror red eyes are fun. "Well this should be fun to explain to everyone."
"Not really," Riku snickered, "I mean it is you. People have come to expect this."
I punched him in the arm as we walked out. He only smiled and ruffled my hair… CURSE YOU HEIGHT CAUSING HIM TO BE TALLER THEN ME! CURSE YOU!
"Let's get something to eat," Riku grinned seeing my frustration with the hair ruffling, "it is lunch after all."
"Right," Okay I hate to admit it but I stared up at him and lost myself in his eyes… Was this how the girls in the school felt when they saw him? No wonder they wanted me dead! Yeah being paranoid and considering my luck I probably didn't want to think like that currently… Still at least now it made sense. I had to admit I always had the fear that Riku would abandon me for some strange reason, but I knew him better then I knew my paranoia… Still the eyes of everyone in the Cafeteria as we walked in started to make the Paranoia stronger then my common sense.
"How the hell do you always eat so much yet keep your shape?" I asked as Riku enjoyed at least twice as much as I had.
"Two things, I work out, and high metabolism. Both work nicely in my favor thus I can eat all this and still cause people heart attacks," Same old grin.
"Weirdo."
"That you are but that's not my point," He laughed again, "so where to this weekend?"
"I don't know."
"Hey guys!" Kairi, the only girl who wouldn't faint if Riku said a word to them, "Sora what did you do this time?"
"What?"
"Your eye its red!" Kairi yelled sitting down across from me, we had our food and our own table as usual, and as usual Kairi joined us for the first half of lunch.
"He was busy being Sora in band around valve oil," Riku answered. When did he have time to eat half of his lunch and yet I hadn't started? I MEAN REALLY!
"Oh," Kairi said and shrugged… Is it wrong that this didn't surprise her at all? AM I THAT MUCH OF A CLUTZ!? I MEAN SERIOUSLY!?
I stared at her, not needing to say anything about the situation before Riku added in another comment, "You are the idiot who tried to balance a wall scroll on your head while it was in its package."
"You're the one who gave me sugar that day," I argued.
"That was funny as hell to watch though. I don't regret a second of it," He was leaning back in his seat stretching it smiling at his memories.
"OH I remember that!" Kairi added in laughing.
"Gee thanks guys," Didn't I have such loving friends? But really this is more about paranoia then anything else.
"You guys wanna hit a movie tonight?" Kairi asked.
"What movie?" Riku asked. Both of us had gone to several of the movies but we went through the entire list.
((Seriously I just went a movie listing site and went through them all.))
"Bolt?"
"Seen it, wasn't bad but I'll wait for the DvD," I replied starting in on my lunch. Luckily I was paranoid of poison in my food at least no yet so I didn't care what I was eating as Riku finished his without me noticing.
"The Day the Earth Stood Still?" Kairi asked.
"No," Riku said, "it sounds about as stupid as it looks."
"Yes Man?"
"I'm going to say no that," Sarcastic comments and really bad puns!? Yeah this sounds like an ordinary conversation.
((A/N: Warning, Twilight bashing to come please find the next line to skip.))
"Twilight?"
"Okay I've come to three conclusions on that movie. I've heard reviews from people who liked the books and they hated it so it's either. A. Like any book turned into a movie thus it's just bad. B. It actually showed them what they were reading. Or C. It's actually a good movie considering what the people who like the books like. I'm sticking with option A or B though," Riku was explaining his usual rant, "I'll see it in a cheap theater with a group of friends who can just laugh and mock it every ten seconds. Because it only deserves to be laughed at and harmed badly and probably set on fire."
Kairi made the mistake of getting defensive, "Edward is hot."
"A guy who bathes in powder is hot now?" Riku asked, "They are the most whimpy vampires in existence. It's like World of Darkness fanfiction filled with suck and no mages thus making it suck more. I'm sorry I'd rather shoot myself in the head then take it seriously, because that's about how painful it is to read. It makes less sense then Vampire Masquerade but more sense then Sora's mind."
"Hey!" I argued, my mind was not THAT messed up… I mean it was fairly messed up but it made more sense then Vampire the Masquerade!
"Your mind makes less sense then Myst, deal with it," Riku turned on Kairi again ready to continue his insulting spree on the books… Average day. I knew Riku had the books to only laugh at them, he had actually took a red pen and found every mistake in the book and wrote notes on what should have happened about every page had a "WTH?" written on it. He also pointed where it should have ended… I mean the first page of it was filled with cracks on "Forks"… Who names a town "Forks"? I mean what is it in the state of Dinner Table with the Capital Spoon? Weird names, weirder book… I guess it made sense in the end. I had to agree it was a prreeeeetttyyyy bad series all on its own.
"In fact I think shooting myself in the head would be more entertaining," Riku said again.
"It's good!" Kairi yelled but it was to late she was to far deep to back out now and she just went deeper. Arguing with Riku on any topic would normally end badly unless you knew how to use loopholes while he used loopholes, eventually either he'd get tangled or you'd get tangled but those arguments were rare. Normally he'd tangle you before you could find the loophole in his argument… I personally blame the fact that when he was winning he had that smile that ticked you off and calmed you down all at once thus causing confusion making fighting impossible! …Bloody cheater.
Riku turned to me with a sarcastic look and sarcasm thick in his voice as he started his reenactment of the books, "Bella we can't be together and I can't tell you why even though I have pale skin, sunken in eyes and never go out into the daylight while having my eyes change colors at random times and an aura that causes everyone else fear yet no one knows why but you're attracted to it and I travel with other people like me! AND STILL NO ONE CAN FIGURE OUT WHAT I AM!"
I took my role as usual… We had done this far to often, "Oh Edward you're clearly Superman! Which is sort of hot!"
"You're an idiot and I laugh at you!'
"The computers and random people tell me you're a vampire which should scare me but I find that so bloody hot! That's more hot then being superman! Because that means that when you put on your glasses I won't get confused at who you are because you don't wear glasses!"
"I won't deny it! I LIKE TOFU!"
"OMG NO WAIH!"
"Yes waih."
"So do you sleep in coffins and sunlight kills you!?"
"NO I DENY ALL VAMPIRE LORE! And I sparkle making me even more awesome."
"NO WAIH!"
"YES WAIH! I take all that makes vampires awesome and forget all about it and pretend I'm awesome which I'm not! I can read minds all but yours because you're weird!"
"OMG I'M WEIRD!?"
"YES YOU ARE!"
"NO WAIH!"
"YES WAIH!"
"Edward I defy all reason and want to tell you I love you even though its dangerous for my health and every second I'm tormenting you because you want to drink my blood and I'm slowly destroying what little self control you have!"
"Bella my love!" Riku reached his arms out as I jumped in. At this point I didn't care who was watching.
"OMG!"
"Quickly let's forgot all the things you'd think would make sense just so we can stretch this out for as long as I can! Because there are other creepy things I can do other then stalking you and breaking into your house at night to watch you sleep! Then I'll talk you into crazy insane things and you won't deny me because if you do I'll simply sparkle in the sunlight or make you forget!"
"That should turn me off but it doesn't! It turns me on even more!"
"Quickly let's enjoy this controversial moment! MARRY ME!"
"Only if you make sweet love to me!"
"SCORE!"
"And I won't remember thing right!?"
"Nothing at all!" Riku suddenly turned to Kairi taking a more serious role, "And thus they make several sequels just like that about a cheerleader wanna-be who is suicidal and a vampire who needs to get hurt. So clearly it is all, SPARKLY VAMPIRES AND TECHNICOLOR WEREWOLVES! SPARKLY SPARKLY SPARKLE!? DID I MENTION THEY SPARKLE! It possibly also follows Freud's psychology, at least the parts that have to deal with things like sex."
"I hate you both right now," She was laughing as we finished.
((Okay I'm done bashing... For now… I mean that's honestly what it is. Yes I read it just to laugh… I mostly whimpered and watched my IQ drop… Seriously I went down 5-7points by chapter 13 and the second book made me wish someone would do me a favor and take out my brain now. Those books are like having a lobotomy only without a degree to give it. Yes insulting them is one of the most fun things I've done all year. It needs someone to rip it apart because it's just bad. If they release a Riftrax for it, I will buy the DvD and Riftrax and have the time of my life. Sorry to anyone who likes the books but face it it's the very very very very basic of Freud Psychology mixed with a vampire who doesn't know what his personality is...))
"Quantum Solace?" She finally continued.
"Saw it," I replied. "Though watching that first fight scene again wouldn't be bad I had no clue what was going on for the first half."
"The car chase was good at least," Riku added in.
"Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa?"
"I don't need that song stuck in my head again or Sora singing it," Riku glared… Annoying Riku, the favorite pass time of everyone who knew him but then again I now always remembered the line "If looks could kill." In Riku's case it was more like a spine snapping glare… I don't know how many times he had snapped my spine with the glare but it was either spine snapping or laser beams, one of the two!
"Tale of Despereaux?"
"…The what?" I asked… I hadn't watched movie previews in a while for good reasons, some movies out really sucked I mean after getting (Warning spoilers) hyped up for the last Indiana Jones movie with the Crystal Skull, I sort of no realized how far movies fell, "Hey guys I've got an idea we've had Indie go up against all these religions, let's do Scientology!" I mean I could handle that fact it was aliens but then they took the glove off and slapped you for the first part of the movie with it… Then pulled out a two by four going "CAN YOU TELL IT'S ALIENS YET CAN YOU!?" Considering the last person I'd seen use a two by four like that was Cloud, the movie shocked me then made Riku insert his head on the edge of the seat in front of him, which was empty at the time asking if it was over yet. I could only groan and tell him no and that there was still someone who wasn't convinced it was aliens.
"Let's just say yes," Riku added in, "Otherwise we'll be here all day insulting movies."
"Sounds good," I agreed having no idea what I just agreed to. Which normally is a bad idea, I do not suggest agreeing to anything that you're not sure about, because for all you know you could have just sold your kidney… Well that's a new fear on my list. My head started racing through everything that could happen, this wasn't even paranoia anymore, I think I had a phobia of everything and anything… That fountain over there looks like it could explode… Even though it's outside… BUT IT COULD EXPLODE AND FALL THROUGH THE ROOF!
SUDDEN PAIN!? IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD!? SINCE WHEN!? ... Ow… Wait that didn't feel like a fountain exploding and landing on me… That was a lighter then normal (Yes it happens many times a day... I think my IQ is starting to drop because of it) hit on the back of my head made by a plastic lunchroom tray… Wielded by Riku….
"Did you have to hit me over my head with that thing?"
"Yes."
…At this rate I'll develop a fear of plastic trays as well... God only know what else could have been- ...he hit me again...
"You're being paranoid."
"STOP HITTING ME WITH THAT THING!"
"Only when you stop being paranoid of every little thing, I WILL go and buy my own plastic tray to hit you with."
"Or you'll use a head covered book."
"Don't tempt me."
With that we laughed and walked out of the lunch room... This was going to be a long day... I was sooooo going to have a heart attack by the end. Stupid Paranoia.