Disclaimer: The entire series for Harukanaru Toki no Naka de (including the games, various animations, and manga) is owned by Mizuno Tooko and Koei. I merely borrow the characters for a short time.
A Change of Axis
It had not been a lie when he told her all that time ago that her actions created his destined path. The debt he owed her could never be repaid, not even with the life she had saved. When he had been a child, he was not able to understand exactly what had happened and why, but the pendant he had accidentally stolen and then kept as a protection charm constantly reminded him of the woman he wanted to see again and thank properly for rescuing such a lost child from certain death.
He lived for her sake alone. The words had echoed through him enough times that it had become his mantra since age four. His goal in life, his one wish if he permitted himself to want anything, was to ensure her safety. That had been three decades ago, but nothing else mattered to him. He would not allow anyone to lead her astray down the path of destruction, including himself.
He watched over her after her initial arrival in Uji. He taught her hanadachi, the most specialized attack he had mastered. He joined the war and fought alongside her because she had asked him to do it for her sake. He kept the Dakiniten inside Houjou Masako from destroying the already strained peace talks. He traveled to her time to prevent the same evil goddess from laying waste to an innocent world. He searched the unfamiliar city for a way to restore purity to the Dragon Vein so Hakuryuu could send them home. He took the shard of her soul when Kagetoki could no longer bear its weight and entered the Labyrinth on his own to find a way to restore her memories. He turned away from her questions even though doing so made his heart break.
It was in that moment, when the world stopped as she lost consciousness while fighting off the Dakiniten, that he realized just how much his world had come to revolve around the young woman whose body seemed somehow frail as he kept her from falling. Standing at the bottom of the seemingly endless staircase, cradling her barely breathing form in his arms, he knew true powerlessness for the first time.
Failure.
The word rang harsh and deep within him. He had failed to follow through on the promise he had made to himself and to her. Until that day, it had been enough to simply protect her. Now he wanted to love her, and the selfishness of his thoughts caused a deeper self-loathing than his inability to keep her from harm.
It had only been a small shift, a change so gradual that he could deny its existence until it was too late. No matter how many times he told himself as he watched her sleep that emotional ties only brought problems, he could not brush them off. At last he bargained with the pain still banded tightly around his chest to let him wait until the issues with the evil entity were resolved to admit his untoward attachment, because then he would at least be able to return to the solitude of his mountain home afterward and leave her in peace.
"Miko." He repeated it again and again, voice cracking on his new mantra as he clenched his fists and willed her to open her eyes.
"What's wrong, Sensei?"
His surprise at her sudden question when he could have sworn she was asleep only seconds ago could not distract him from the invisible hand of self-control around his throat that choked off his relief at seeing her awake. He felt the world start to move again as he looked into those concerned green eyes, though it was just a subtle shift.