PINKY & THE BRAIN ON DECK
On the SS Tipton…
Zack Martin was at the Juice Bar making smoothies for his brother Cody, and their friends Bailey, Woody, Marcus, and Maya.
Mr. Moseby and his new bride, Emma, came up to them.
"Hey, how are the two love birds doing?" Zack asked.
"Wonderful," Emma said, "we just got back from our honeymoon. Marion took me on a lovely cruise to the Bahamas."
"Yes," Mr. Moesby said, "and I just came by to inform you hooligan kids not to cause any shenanigans. Mr. Tipton is here on the ship meeting with many world leaders and foreign dignitaries."
"Well, don't worry, Mr. Moesby," Cody said, "I know all about it. A scientist friend of mine and I are going to perfect an experiment to end world hunger to show to the visiting dignitaries."
"Oh, and just where is this scientist from?" Moesby asked.
"Acme Labs in Burbank, California." Cody responded.
"Oh, I hate when Daddy has these stupid, boring meetings with the foreign diggerscarys." London complained.
"London, that's dignitaries." Bailey corrected.
"Who cares?" London said, "it's still a lot of work and I don't have time to do all that digging."
Meanwhile, in the scientist's suite, two experimental lab mice were wandering around in their cage. One was normal looking, but skinny, and the other had an obscenely large head.
"Gee Brain," the skinny mouse said with an Australian accent, addressing his big-headed companion, "what are we gonna do tonight?"
"The same thing we do every night, Pinky," the Brain said, "try to take over the world!"
They're Pinky and The Brain
Yes, Pinky and The Brain
One is a genius
The other's insane.
They're laboratory mice
Their genes have been spliced
They're dinky
They're Pinky and The Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain
Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain
Brain.
Before each night is done
Their plan will be unfurled
By the dawning of the sun
They'll take over the world.
They're Pinky and The Brain
Yes, Pinky and The Brain
Their twilight campaign
Is easy to explain.
To prove their mousey worth
They'll overthrow the Earth
They're dinky
They're Pinky and The Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain
Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain
Narf!
In class, the newly married Mrs. Moesby was discussing philosophical concepts with her students.
"OK class," she said, "can anyone summarize Anselm's argument for the existence of God?"
Only Cody Martin raised his hand.
"Anyone other than Cody?"
Silence.
"Ok, Cody, fire away."
"Anselm wants to prove God's existence by saying that God is a Being in which no greater can be conceived, therefore, he states, God exists, because the mind cannot think of anything greater than the Being in which no greater can be conceived." Cody said.
"Very good, Cody," Mrs. Moesby said, as the rest of the class was sleeping.
She banged a gong, and the class all woke up.
"Wait a minute," Woody said, "I thought we all graduated. Why are we still in school?"
"Woody, you've all been enrolled in Mr. Tipton's Tipton university: study on the seas program with scholarships." she responded. "that's why we're discussing more profound things like deep philosophical concepts."
"You mean I'm still stuck on this boat?" London asked.
Mrs. Moesby nodded.
London screamed and ran for the nearest porthole, trying to throw herself overboard.
"London," Mrs. Moesby said, "throwing yourself overboard won't accomplish anything!"
"It worked for Jonah, didn't it?" Bailey asked.
Meanwhile, Pinky & the Brain were discussing their plans for global domination.
"Now listen, Pinky," Brain said, as he unrolled a schematic of the ship, "the summit of world leaders and foreign dignitaries is being held here, in the grand ballroom."
He circled the ballroom on the map of the ship.
"Does that mean there's going to be dancing?" Pinky asked, "Oh, Brain, I can't wait to do the waltz, and the watusi, and the disco, and the tango, and dougee, and the cha-cha, and gangham style…"
"Pinky, focus!" Brain commanded, "Pay attention! Our plans for global dominance will soon come to fruition! Now, this machine, our keeper brought over—"
"Ooo, does it make smoothies, Brain?" Pinky asked.
"No Pinky, it does not make smoothies or any other type of food item." Brain said, "this is a brain switching machine!"
"Gee, how you gonna use it, Brain?" Pinky asked.
"I'm going to transplant my brilliant intellect into the mind of the most powerful leader in the room. Consequently, that leader's mind will be transplanted into my current mousey form."
"Does that mean I'm gonna hafta share my cheese with a stuffy human?" Pinky asked.
"No Pinky," Brain said, "I won't let that happen. Anyway, with my mind in a powerful leader's body, there's no way I cannot achieve control of the entire world! It's foolproof, I tell you, foolproof! All we have to do is wait for the precise moment when the leaders are unprepared, then we will strike!"
Meanwhile, Mr. Moseby was giving the leaders a tour of the sky deck.
"And gentlemen," he said, "this is the sky deck. A perfect spot for relaxing or getting a sun tan or going over plans to cut the federal budget, and sink your respective countries further into debt."
"Señor Moseby," the Spanish president asked, "where can we find what you Americans call, the 'hot grooves?'"
"He means where's the party at?" the President of the USA confirmed to a perplexed Moseby.
"If you'll follow me, the club is right this way." Mr. Moseby said.
Meanwhile, at the Juice Bar, Zack & Cody are talking with their friends.
"Wow," Woody remarked, "all these world leaders on the ship at one time! There must be something pretty important going on! If the ship sank, the world would be doomed!"
"Not to worry, Woody," Cody said, "I'm sure all these people have appointed people to resume their positions should they perish in an unfortunate accident, like if we hit an iceberg, and the ship sank, and the world leaders were all seized by giant squids, dragging them screaming beneath the waves."
"Cody, are thinkin' what I think you're thinkin'?" Marcus asked.
"No," Cody said, "now if you'll excuse me, I have to meet with my scientist friend to perfect my experiment. We're using Buck as a test subject."
"No, not Bucky!" Bailey said, "I won't let you harm our baby!"
"Don't worry, honey," Cody said, "Buck's perfectly safe."
"Well, as long as you don't turn him into a mutated 3-eyed monster who gives people radioactive rat abilities, everything will be all right." Woody said.
"Woody, you read too many comic books." Cody said.
"Well, at least somebody didn't try to convince me I had rat-like superpowers." Woody said, as he stared down Zack.
"What?" Zack said, "you were Rat-Man, defender of the night and all things cheesy. The terror that scurries in the night!"
"Well, all I know is that if any rats get closer than 3 feet towards me, they're dead rats!" London said.
"London, you can't hurt Buck!" Bailey said, "he's our cute little friend!"
"He may be your friend, but he sure as heck ain't mine!" London said, "just keep him away from me!"
"Cody, what exactly is this experiment you're performing?" Marcus asked.
"It's a top-secret, hush-hush, classified, need-to-know basis," Cody said, "and right now all you need to know is that it's a surprise!"
Cody walked away.
Meanwhile, Pinky & the Brain were hiding behind the counter.
"Egad, Brain!" Pinky said, "that boy is gonna perform an experiment with our scientist."
"I'm quite aware, Pinky." Brain said, "All we have to do is wait for when he starts the experiment with this 'Buck' and we'll be on our way to world domination!"
"Gee, Brain, I hope Buck is a friendly sort," Pinky said, "and I hope Cody's experiment gives us more cheese!"
"You're an incompetent moron, Pinky!" Brain said.
"Why thank you, Brain!" Pinky said, unaware he had just been insulted.
Cody readied the experiment.
"Ladies and gentlemen," Cody said, "Distinguished world leaders, you are about to bear witness to the greatest scientific achievement of the age. Prepare yourselves for amazement!"
"If he gets any geekier, half the audience will be asleep before he's even turned on the machine," Zack said to Woody.
"Allow me to demonstrate," Cody continued, "this machine will allow me to temporarily switch bodies with this rodent, my lab rat, Buck. While in Buck's body, I will achieve a feat capable by only a rat with a fourth level intellect such as myself. I will compute my hypothesis for quantum mechanics using entirely the material available to me in Buck's cage. Professor Ruegger, when I give the word, throw the switch! Kirby, when Buck's mind enters my body, detain me/him by any means necessary, just as painless as possible, and don't let him gnaw on my clothes!"
"Okie-dokie," the overweight African-American security guard said.
"Ok, Pinky," Brain said, "this is the moment of truth! As soon as our Professor Ruegger throws the switch, we leap down and into the beam's area. You must channel the beam's energy to strike both me and one of the world leaders. Got that, Pinky?"
"I think so, Brain!" Pinky said.
"Good," Brain responded, "My brilliant plan depends upon your fortitude, Pinky!"
"Right-o, Brain!" Pinky said, "Narf!"
"Perhaps I've made a lapse in judgment," Brain said under his breath.
"Alright Professor," Cody said, "Now!"
Pinky goes over to the device as Professor Ruegger pulls the switch.
The beam of energy hits both Cody and Brain, but misses Buck and the world leaders.
"Hey," Woody said, as he stood up, "I need some more food, maybe I can snag some of Buck's food pellets. I just hope they're really pellets this time!"
Woody trips over a wire connected to the machine. Two more beams of energy go out. One hits Pinky, the other hits Zack, who has gotten up to help Woody.
"I got you, Cody/Buck!" Kirby shouted, as he leapt toward Cody/Brain and tackled him. "Don't worry, Buck, you're safe now!"
"Let go of me, you incompetent imbecile!" Brain/Cody said.
"Woah, Buck," Kirby said, "What did I ever do to you? I mean, you did get lost on the ship that one time but—"
"Silence!" Brain/Cody shouted. "I must be on my way, now!"
"I can't let you do that, Buck!" Kirby said, "I don't want to have to hurt you, but Cody specifically wanted me to keep watch over you!"
Zack/Pinky went over to the North Korean dictator.
"Did it work, Brain?" Pinky/Zack asked.
"I am the brains around here!" the dictator shouted, "If you ever approach me again, you will be swimming at the bottom of the sea, boy!"
"I knew it was a bad idea to bring him along!" the President of USA said.
"Narf!" Pinky/Zack exclaimed.
"Pinky, we have to get out of here!" Brain/Cody exclaimed. "But first I have to distract the guard!"
Kirby was blocking the doorway.
"Look over there!" Brain/Cody said, "it's Jennifer Aniston giving away free sandwiches!"
"Where?!" Kirby shouted, as Brain/Cody made a break for the door.
Kirby realized his blunder too late.
"Darn, no Jennifer Aniston and more importantly, no free sandwiches!" Kirby said with discouragement, "And Buck got away in Cody's body!"
He picked up Buck.
"I'm sorry, Cody!" Kirby said, "I won't let Buck in your body slip by me again! You can count on me!"
Kirby ran out the door.
"if only he realized I'm not Buck!" Cody said in Brain's body.
"Wow," Zack in Pinky's body said coming up to his brother, "Dude, you have a big head!"
"Zack is that you?" Cody/Brain asked. "Apparently we've been switched with the wrong lab mice. And this is no time to comment on my ego!"
"No, I mean, for a mouse, you sure do have a big head!" Zack/Pinky said. "Look!"
They saw their reflections in a nearby mirror.
"Oh my gosh!" Cody/Brain said, "not only do I have a big head, but we're animated!"
All of a sudden, they heard a groan.
Woody stood up.
"Wow, what happened?" Woody asked aloud, "Where did everyone go?"
"Woody, everyone's gone," Cody/Brain said, "But we're still here."
"Wh-Who said that?" Woody quivered nervously.
"Down here!" Zack/Pinky squeaked, "it's us!"
Woody stared down at Zack and Cody in the bodies of Pinky and the Brain.
"Talking mutant lab mice!" Woody screamed, and proceeded to run away in cowardice.
"Well, we best get out of here and try to get our bodies back!" Zack/Pinky said.
"Not so fast!" came a voice.
"Who said that?" Cody/Brain asked.
"I did!" Buck said, as he came forward.
"Buck!" both the boys/mice screamed.