May 14, 2018: So... I started writing this fic for Courfius Week 3 years ago. I picked it up again a couple of months ago to finish it and managed to get it done a month and a half before Courfius Week. I think that might be a record both ways. ;D Anyway, I honestly don't remember what the endgame of this fic was supposed to be back when I first started it, but I'm reasonably sure it wasn't where we ended up. Oops? ^_^ (Sorry, not sorry?) ANYWAY. Enjoy? ^_^
A Word For That
by eirenical
Marius had a difficult time taking his brain offline. There was so much to think about, and he just couldn't shut it all out. He'd always been cursed with a tendency to overthink things. Even long past the moment when thinking was called for, still he worried away, certain that he'd done something wrong, said something wrong, embarrassed himself in some way. Family, work, school, friends, strangers—everything was fair game. Joly had suggested he talk to someone about it, once, had put a word to it that Marius still wasn't comfortable enough with to apply it to himself. That would make it substantial, real, tangible… like a disease you could catch. Marius preferred to think of it as a personality quirk. It was just something he did, like putting the peanut butter on the left-hand piece of bread and wiping the excess off on the right-hand piece before sticking the knife in the jelly. It was just a part of who he was, a part of what made him who he was. Without his tendency to overthink everything, he wouldn't be Marius… and then who would he be?
Marius left out a soft gasp as Courfeyrac raised his head, almost reached out to bury his hand in those soft curls to keep him where he'd been, but Courfeyrac was even now leaning forward, his arms crossed beneath his chin as he draped himself across Marius' chest. A small smile lingered on his swollen lips, and Marius could feel his face heating under the weight of his gaze.
Once Marius was looking full at him, Courfeyrac lifted his head off his hands and shifted lower for just long enough to place a kiss in the center of Marius' chest. When he looked up again, he said softly, "If you were anyone else, I'd be severely concerned by how I seem to be failing to hold your attention."
Marius flushed harder and immediately began to stammer out apologies, embarrassed beyond the telling at being even so mildly—yet rightfully—reprimanded, but Courfeyrac lifted a hand and placed a finger over Marius' lips before he could get even a single word out. When Marius finally stopped trying to speak, Courfeyrac shifted that finger to trace along his lips, the arch of his cheekbone, around the shell of his ear. As his finger moved, he spoke. "But, you see, my friend… I know you. It isn't so much that I've failed to hold your attention." A faint smirk lifted the corner of his lips. "It is that I've captured too much of it, I think."
Marius swallowed hard, unsure of what the correct response would be to that statement, but sure that whatever words he allowed past his lips would be the wrong ones. Courfeyrac's fingers continued their meandering down the column of Marius' neck and back towards his chest to circle his nipple and Marius bit back a cry. It was like this sometimes with Courfeyrac; every touch like an electric shock, short-circuiting what little ability he had to respond, jolting him out of himself with every unexpected sensation.
Courfeyrac let out a soft laugh. "You see? You're miles away from me for all that your body is right here under mine. Will you tell me where you are? Let me come with you for once?"
Marius pushed himself up onto his elbows, stared down the length of his chest to where Courfeyrac had lain his head. Courfeyrac had made such offers before, many times. Marius had never once taken him up on them. After all, it wasn't that he thought about anything important when he wandered off like this. His thoughts were not often worth sharing. Especially not with someone like Courfeyrac. "I… I… It's not… I don't—"
Courfeyrac smiled softly and leaned up to cut off what Marius knew would have been an impressive spate of babbling with a gentle kiss. There was no demand, no heat, in that kiss. It was just a simple press of lips on lips, a calming touch more than anything else. And when Marius' lips finally stopped moving in a futile attempt at speech, Courfeyrac's moved on to press a second kiss into one corner of his lips, then a third into the other. When he leaned back again, Courfeyrac said, "Forget I asked. I have no desire to cause you more stress than you're already under, so I shall ask a different question, instead. Do you want to continue? Or should we just settle in for the night?"
Try as he might, Marius couldn't form an intelligible answer to that question, either, but when Courfeyrac moved as though to shift off of him, he got out a small whimper—so small that even he barely heard it. He felt it, however, when it caught in his throat. Marius grabbed at Courfeyrac's arm and, blushing so hard he felt faint with it, at least managed to shake his head.
Marius caught only the barest glimpse of the smile Courfeyrac graced him with in response before that smile was pressed against his lips once more. This time there was heat to the kiss, an insistence that hadn't been there before. Still there was no tongue involved, not even as Courfeyrac pressed kisses down the center of Marius' chest and stomach. When he reached the juncture of Marius' legs, however, and the still half-hard member there, he finally put his tongue to use. Marius let out a soft cry as that heat enveloped him once more, this time unable to resist burying a hand in the soft curls that Courfeyrac took such pride in—almost as much pride as he took in the skill he was employing now.
Marius certainly tried to do Courfeyrac the courtesy of keeping his mind focused on what they were doing this time, but the moment the head of his cock hit the back of Courfeyrac's throat, his mind was off and running again. It felt so incredibly good, but how did Courfeyrac even do that without choking every time? The one time Marius had attempted the same, he'd not only choked, he'd nearly vomited and—as if that weren't embarrassment enough—he'd been hoarse for a week afterwards and had had to tell everyone he spoke to that he must be coming down with something.
When Courfeyrac pulled off him this time, Marius didn't dare make even one word of protest. He didn't want to stop. He didn't. But how on Earth was he supposed to convince Courfeyrac of that when he couldn't keep his mind on what they were doing? And now that he'd wandered off like that twice, Marius couldn't even look at Courfeyrac. He grabbed Courfeyrac's pillow from the other side of the bed and covered his face with it, and when he felt the bed shift beneath him, the springs creaking softly as Courfeyrac's weight lifted from the bed, he began praying that the bedcovers would just somehow swallow him whole, so he'd never have to face Courfeyrac again.
A minute passed… then another… then a third. Courfeyrac didn't come back, and he didn't say anything—and by far, that was the more unusual reaction of the two. Courfeyrac always had something to say. It was another two minutes before Marius could even bring himself to lower the pillow, much less think about sitting up to see where Courfeyrac had gone. A moment after that, however, a soft gasp followed by a low moan from across the room had Marius sitting up so fast that he was half-dizzy with it. Once he did, though, it took still another minute for him to get his brain back online enough to understand what he was seeing and why Courfeyrac had made that noise.
Courfeyrac was bent over the side of his armchair, one hand braced on the cushion below to keep himself from falling forwards and his other hand reaching around behind himself, moving slowly in a rhythm Marius recognized all too well. When Marius sat up, Courfeyrac's gaze locked on his and he offered Marius a slow, devilish smile. Between further gasps, he said, "Ah. Good. Excellent. I hoped that would get your attention."
Marius rose on shaky legs, still clutching the pillow like a lifeline, to slowly move around to the other side of the chair. He had to see… he had to see. Courfeyrac's gaze followed him as he moved until he was twisted half sideways to look over his shoulder. That couldn't be comfortable. That had to be excruciating. Like the world's most embarrassing game of Twister. Marius' body certainly didn't bend that way. He'd have fallen over long before he even tried to get into that position, but… oh. Oh.
Once Marius was behind him, Courfeyrac's hand began moving faster, three fingers plunging into himself over and over, occasionally spreading wider as they moved, and that was what was prompting those delicious gasps. They'd never… he'd never… Marius had been so new to loving of any kind that he'd let Courfeyrac take the lead in every way. He didn't mind. He loved it, in fact—the feel of Courfeyrac's body covering his, the reassurance of that warm weight grounding him—it was one of the few times he could force his mind into any semblance of stillness. And if it wandered a little, even then… he'd just hoped that Courfeyrac was too preoccupied to notice. But this? Marius had never once even considered this.
On one particularly deep thrust, Courfeyrac made an entirely new noise—a high-pitched cry that choked off when it had barely emerged from his throat—and the arm holding him braced half-collapsed as he made it. Marius dropped the pillow, then, lurching forward towards that cry before he'd even decided to move, still transfixed on the sight of those fingers moving—in, then out, in, then out, in, then all the way out…
"Marius…" Now it was Courfeyrac's voice that was hoarse, half-broken, like Marius' had been after his first and last disastrous attempt at deep-throating. Courfeyrac spread his legs wider, both hands now bracing him against the seat cushion, and arched his back as he turned to look over his shoulder at Marius once more. "Marius, please."
It was the "please" that did it. Hands still shaking wildly, Marius reached past Courfeyrac to grab the lube from where he could just see it peaking up from between the chair cushions, grateful beyond words that Courfeyrac always insisted on condoms for them both and that he wouldn't have to try to manage that, too. He slicked his member, trying desperately to remember what Courfeyrac always did to get them started, even though Marius' mind was usually far, far away by that time, and way beyond noticing those kinds of details. Just as Marius' breath started coming in harsh gasps that had nothing at all to do with pleasure, Courfeyrac reached back, again, this time to take Marius' hand in his and pull him closer.
Once Marius was close enough that he could feel the warmth radiating from Courfeyrac's bent form, Courfeyrac let go of his hand… and grabbed his cock instead. Marius let out a short cry, nearly falling against Courfeyrac at the shock of that sudden contact. But Courfeyrac didn't move his hand, nor did he squeeze. He just held Marius steady as he slowly, steadily pushed back against him, guiding Marius' cock between his cheeks to rest against his entrance before letting go and reaching back further to grab Marius' hip.
Marius let out a short laugh of pure relief at how Courfeyrac was tendering his assistance, even in this. How he could manage to keep any of his wits about him at all was a miracle. Marius knew how it felt to be where he was, to feel the blunt roundness outside his entrance just waiting to plunge inside, knew how it was going to feel a moment later being stretched wide open around it, and knew how it would feel even later still as it brushed against his prostate… how could Courfeyrac be so calm when Marius was always ready to fall to pieces by this point?
…but what if he wasn't?
It was a strange thought, but Marius knew full well what a grand actor Courfeyrac could be. And Marius wouldn't put it past him to be putting on a show of outward calm that he didn't at all feel, just to keep Marius from panicking. There was only one way to find out.
Marius reached out and took hold of Courfeyrac's hips in his hands, just as Courfeyrac always did for him. And, oh, but this chair was the perfect height. Marius didn't have to bend his knees too much, nor did he have to stretch upwards. It was just perfect for him to…
Marius slowly pushed forwards, just a little, just enough to breach that impossible heat with the tip of his cock, and even the sensations from that almost had him swooning forward over Courfeyrac's back. Still, he held on, waiting… waiting… waiting… There. Courfeyrac's breath hitched, his fingers clenched at Marius' hip, and the muscles of his thighs trembled with the effort he was putting forth not to move.
Not so calm as we seem, are we? With that thought, counterintuitively, Marius felt his heart begin to slow, his breathing start to settle. This was new territory for them. Never before had Marius been the one setting the pace of the encounter. Never before had it been Marius in control with Courfeyrac falling apart beneath him.
Marius liked it.
Marius pulled back out away from that tight heat so that his cock was cradled between Courfeyrac's buttocks, but no longer inside him. He waited there for a moment, then he rocked forwards again until just the tip of his cock was inside. Courfeyrac's breath hitched again and this time he squirmed a little, trying to wiggle himself back further onto Marius' cock.
No.
No… Courfeyrac wasn't in charge here. Marius was.
Marius tightened his grip on Courfeyrac's hips, keeping Courfeyrac firmly where he wanted him and not a fraction closer. He then repeated his earlier motion, pulling out to rest between Courfeyrac's cheeks, then teasing his entrance with the tip of his cock once more. And an amazing thing was happening… for once, Marius had no difficulty whatsoever keeping his mind on where he was. In fact, he was so much present in the moment that his entire world had narrowed down to watching for Courfeyrac's reactions… and the sensations from his cock buried between Courfeyrac's legs.
This time, Courfeyrac let out a full-body shudder beneath him along with a choked laugh. "I think… I think I may have created a monster…"
At that, Marius couldn't help but laugh, as well. He let a bit more of his cock slip inside as he leaned forward to whisper into Courfeyrac's ear. "Well… you wanted my full attention, didn't you?"
Courfeyrac arched against him, throwing his head back against Marius' shoulder and biting his lip as Marius allowed himself to slide in just a fraction more. Courfeyrac let out a low moan. "Oh, I did. I do. Believe me; I am not complaining."
Marius raised his upper body, pulling back out once more, part of him delighting in the choked cry Courfeyrac let out in response. He freed one hand from Courfeyrac's hip to push firmly down on his lower back, preventing him from attempting to back himself onto Marius' cock, again. Courfeyrac jerked once, twice, then a third time beneath Marius' hands before slowly subsiding into soft pants and shudders. Marius had no idea where this was coming from, this sudden need to have full control over Courfeyrac, but he couldn't deny that he was enjoying every minute of it. And since Courfeyrac seemed to be enjoying it just as much, despite the occasional whine tumbling forth from his lips between the panting, Marius had no desire to stop now. In fact…
Marius removed his hand from the small of Courfeyrac's back and reached down to pry Courfeyrac's hand loose from his hip. When Courfeyrac's fingers clutched desperately at his, for a moment, Marius held on just as tightly. Then he gently turned Courfeyrac's hand and this time returned their joined hands to rest against the small of Courfeyrac's back where Marius' hand had rested alone a moment before. Courfeyrac tested his hold briefly, shifting his other hand and his feet. Marius waited with baited breath. He had no idea why it was so important to him that Courfeyrac accept the repositioning… but it was. It was important.
Courfeyrac shifted his feet once more, the miniscule movements causing the cheeks of his buttocks to shift and clench around Marius' cock and driving Marius to an even deeper pinpoint focus on those sensations… and Courfeyrac's response to them. All this shifting about had to have a purpose. It had to. It wasn't until Marius caught Courfeyrac surreptitiously attempting to open and close the hand bracing him upright that he understood what that purpose was.
Marius released Courfeyrac's left hand, slowly guiding it down until it, too, rested on the seat cushion, and then he reached down on the other side to take Courfeyrac's right hand, instead. As Marius pulled it back from underneath Courfeyrac, he took a moment to slowly and carefully bend and unbend Courfeyrac's elbow, and to gently massage his fingers, his forearm, and his upper arm. When Courfeyrac let out a soft sigh in response, Marius smiled. They'd have to talk about that later. It wouldn't do for Courfeyrac to give up control during sex just to end up unwilling to say something if Marius hurt him, even by accident. That wouldn't do at all.
…oh.
A small shiver ran up Marius' spine that had nothing to do with the sensations coming from where his cock was still resting between Courfeyrac's cheeks. They were going to have to talk about this. They were going to have to talk about this, because Marius already wanted to do this again, and they hadn't even gotten through the first time, yet. He wanted to know what it would be like to have even more control over Courfeyrac than he had right now. They really were going to have to talk. But, later. For now, Courfeyrac had finally settled enough to begin testing Marius' hold on him again, pushing back against his cock. Well, that wouldn't do. Marius pulled all the way out and away, shaking his head as Courfeyrac repeated that high-pitched cry from before, only this time, there was a "No!" tangled up halfway inside it. Marius' only response was to push Courfeyrac's right arm ever so slightly higher up his back.
Courfeyrac got the message. He let out a sound that was half sob and half curse before quieting. Courfeyrac bent his left arm underneath him, lowering his upper body so far that his forehead touched the cushions, raising his ass just a little higher into the air in the process. Then… he relaxed. Every last bit of tension, every last bit of fight, just melted right out of him.
Marius smiled. He let go of the tight hold he had on Courfeyrac's hip, instead using that hand to gently stroke Courfeyrac's side, smoothing his hand over Courfeyrac's ribs, over the curve of his ass, and down his flank. By the third pass of his hand, Courfeyrac was leaning into the caress, spreading his legs just a little wider every time Marius reached the back of his thigh. By the tenth pass, he was trembling again. When Marius finally realized that the reason Courfeyrac was fighting so hard not to move was because Marius hadn't given him permission… Marius nearly came from the power of that realization alone. And that meant it was time to stop teasing, because he'd pushed them both as far as they could go.
Marius guided Courfeyrac's right hand down from behind his back, again moving those joints carefully to work out the stiffness before letting go, then lined himself back up between Courfeyrac's buttocks. Marius could feel a thin thrum of tension reestablishing itself in Courfeyrac's frame when Marius took hold of his hips again, but he really couldn't wait any longer. As it was, Marius was only able to pause long enough to get out a strangled, "Yes?" and to watch for Courfeyrac's nearly frantic nodding before he finally—finally—allowed himself to push all the way inside. And, oh. Ohhhhhhhhhhh… He'd thought that barest tease of heat and pressure before had been good… but this? Marius didn't even have words for this.
Neither did Courfeyrac.
Courfeyrac was making a high-pitched, keening cry beneath him, his hands clenched into tight fists by his head, his entire body shuddering as he continued to fight not to move. Marius gasped, totally overcome. It was all he could do to remember what he was supposed to do then. And this wasn't even supposed to be the hard part! There were supposed to be millions of years of evolutionary instinct driving the car here! OK. OK. He could do this. He could do this… but he wouldn't turn down a little help if he could convince Courfeyrac it would be welcome. Leaning forwards, he whispered into Courfeyrac's ear what he would have wanted to hear if he'd been in Courfeyrac's position—words that would hopefully convince Courfeyrac that it was OK to be a more active participant in this again. "Courfeyrac… Oh, Courfeyrac. You've been so good—so good—for me. You don't have to hold still anymore. You can show me what you want."
Courfeyrac took in a deep breath, letting it out in a sound that was half laugh, half sob and, with that, he raised himself back up onto his hands and rocked back hard against Marius, pulling him into an even deeper thrust than he'd managed before. That action finally jolted Marius out of his paralysis and the next time Courfeyrac rocked backwards, Marius rocked forward to meet him. There was no establishing a rhythm, no steady back and forth like Courfeyrac always seemed to manage. They were disjointed, working at odds against each other half the time and, at one point, Marius almost slipped out completely, but it was so good, Marius almost didn't care.
The end was about the only thing that Marius got right. Feeling Courfeyrac start to shudder beneath him, he tightened his hold on Courfeyrac's hips, shifting the angle he was thrusting in at, trying to remember how Courfeyrac did it on those times when he managed to perfectly hit Marius' prostate. On Marius' fourth attempt, Courfeyrac cried out and went completely still. Marius smiled. Found it. And now that he had it, Marius held on to that angle, pounding in hard and fast, hitting that spot as many times as he could. Courfeyrac didn't hold out long after that. Since Marius was expecting to prompt the loudest cry yet, he was oddly touched when Courfeyrac instead let out a quiet gasp, twisting once more to turn and catch Marius' gaze as he shuddered in the grips of what looked like a really intense orgasm. And that locked gaze was all it took to drive Marius right over the edge with him.
When the aftershocks finally passed, and Marius found himself draped over Courfeyrac, squashing him into the arm of the chair, he winced. That really couldn't be comfortable. He eased himself off, wincing again when he saw the bright red handprints he'd left behind on Courfeyrac's hips, as well. And Courfeyrac… Courfeyrac was entirely too quiet. He was laying still, draped over the chair arm exactly where Marius had left him, a quiet, waiting look on his face that was not at all normal for him. Marius had never once seen him that still.
…but Marius had been that still himself. When too many thoughts were vying for attention in his brain all at once and he couldn't settle on any of them long enough to follow them to their conclusion, he would get like this. Frozen. Unable to move for fear it would be the wrong move. And this wasn't quite the same thing, Marius would eat his own shoes if it wasn't at least part of it—that Courfeyrac was so overwhelmed by what they just done that he didn't know if he should even have a response, much less what kind of response he should have. So, Marius fell back once more on what he would have needed in a situation like that.
Marius pulled Courfeyrac gently upright and guided him back across the room to the bed. Once Marius got Courfeyrac lying down, he took a moment to get rid of both of their condoms and to wipe them both down as best he could with a few tissues, then Marius climbed under the covers and pulled Courfeyrac against his chest. He ran gentle hands through Courfeyrac's sweat-dampened curls and down his back, placing an occasional soft kiss on his forehead.
After a few minutes of that soft petting and those even softer kisses, Courfeyrac scrunched up his nose a little and curled closer into Marius' chest. A minute later, he slid his arm out from between them to drape over Marius' waist. Marius said quietly, in response, "Hey, you."
Courfeyrac looked up and offered him the softest, sweetest smile that Marius had ever seen him give anyone—and he'd seen Courfeyrac give out more than his fair share of smiles. He'd been watching for every one of them for years. "Hey, yourself."
Marius took a deep breath, then let it out. "So… that was… it was…"
Courfeyrac laughed quietly into the space between them. "Not exactly what either of us was expecting to happen, I think?"
Marius nodded frantically, more than ready to fall apart a little now that Courfeyrac seemed to be getting back to his usual self. "I have no idea what came over me. I am so—"
Courfeyrac's fingers against Marius' lips cut off his next words. He raised an eyebrow. "Marius, if you are about to apologize for what was possibly the most amazingly mind-blowing sex that I've ever had in my life, then we are going to have to have a serious talk about false modesty and how it has no place in the bedroom."
Marius stared at Courfeyrac, unable to do anything but blink wide-eyed at him for the next minute. Eventually, Courfeyrac took pity on him, reversing their positioning so that it was he cradling Marius against his chest instead the other way around. And that was comfortable. That was easy. That was familiar. Marius could do this. After a few more minutes of holding him that way, Courfeyrac eased back just enough to meet Marius' gaze. And, for once, Marius found it easy to give him his undivided attention.
"Marius… did you enjoy this? Today? Was it good for you?"
Now it was Marius' turn to respond with frantic nodding. "It was incredible. I don't… I've never… Is that what it's like to just… be there for the whole thing? Because I've never been there like that before." At Courfeyrac's encouraging nod, Marius took a deep breath and plunged on. "It was just… I didn't wander off, this time. At least not often or very far. And I noticed everything. I even noticed when your elbow locked up! Oh. Which reminds me I wanted to talk to you about that—"
This time, Courfeyrac's laugh was fuller and loud, nearly back to its normal proportions, and he took a moment to bury it in Marius' shoulder as Marius hesitantly joined him. When he got himself under control, Courfeyrac said, "I'll take that as a 'yes,' then, and tentatively as a 'can we do that again sometime?'" His voice lilted up on the last few words, one eyebrow rising, as well.
Marius let out his breath in a rush along with the words, "Oh, fuck, yes."
The smile Courfeyrac turned on Marius then was wide and just a bit crooked. It was the smile he wore whenever Enjolras had just proposed a radical solution to a problem that had been plaguing them… and things with Les Amis were about to go just a hair to the wrong side of legal. "Well, then… I'm glad that we're on the same page, here." When Marius opened his mouth—to say what, he wasn't sure, only that it was probably going to be some tangled up mishmash of a request to work out the rules of this thing right that second and a million questions about what injuries Courfeyrac did or didn't have that he wasn't telling him about and a few other things besides—Courfeyrac shook his head. "Marius… not that I don't appreciate your enthusiasm—because I really, really do—but I am hanging on to wakefulness by a thread, here. I make it a point not to fall asleep on my partner right after sex, but I am absolutely at the end of my limit here. If I promise that we really will talk about it in the morning… can we talk about it in the morning?"
"Oh." Marius' eyes widened. "Of course, we can talk about it in the morning; I didn't even think—" He cut off the apology when Courfeyrac began to smile, again. But… Well, Marius supposed it was alright if Courfeyrac didn't want to talk, but was it really OK for him to fall asleep so soon? Weren't you supposed to keep people awake after something like this? No wait. That was for a concussion. And that was one injury Marius was pretty sure Courfeyrac didn't have. Whatever. It didn't matter. The point was… the point was that Marius was pretty sure that he was supposed to be doing something to take care of Courfeyrac now. In fact, he was pretty sure it was so important that there was a word for it. But, the longer Marius was silent, the more Courfeyrac's smile took on that 'I'm about to get us into mischief' cast to it, so Marius abruptly found his voice and changed tactics. "Do you… do you want some water before you go to sleep? You should probably have some water. Or how about some soup? It won't take me long to heat up some of the soup you made the other day…"
Courfeyrac's lips were pressed so tightly closed now that Marius could almost hear the hysterical laughter he was holding back behind them. But if Marius were being fair, Courfeyrac didn't let even the tiniest hint of that laughter out. He never did, when Marius was really, honestly trying… even if sometimes it was clearly more of an effort to keep that laughter under control than others.
When the moment passed with no outward sign of Courfeyrac's mirth than the single tear he quickly wiped from one eye, Courfeyrac said, along with another of those heartstoppingly tender smiles, "That is probably the sweetest, most heavy-handed attempt at aftercare I have ever experienced." He leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss against Marius' forehead. "Thank you for that, Marius. Really. But…"
Marius latched onto that like a lifeline. "But?"
Courfeyrac's next words were quiet, almost to himself, and if Marius didn't know better, he'd have sworn that Courfeyrac was embarrassed to say them, but Courfeyrac didn't get embarrassed about things like that… did he?
"What I really want—" Courfeyrac paused and shook his head. "No. What I really need…" He swallowed hard, his voice dropping so low that Marius had to lean his ear closer just to hear him. "…would you just stay here with me? And hold me? At least until I fall asleep?"
With that quiet confession, Marius' heart swelled. Any thoughts he'd had of leaping out of bed to go look up the word "aftercare," along with any other terms Wikipedia might have linked to it, went clear out of his head. Instead, he fell back on another of Courfeyrac's tried-and-true Marius-calming tricks. He nudged Courfeyrac until he turned over onto his other side, then pressed himself along Courfeyrac's back, and wrapped his arms securely around Courfeyrac's middle. He leaned in to whisper into Courfeyrac's ear, "All you had to do was ask."
For just a moment, as Marius' breath ghosted over his ear, Courfeyrac shuddered, a powerful reminder for Marius—and from that shudder, for Courfeyrac, too—of earlier in the evening when they'd been in this position before and Marius had whispered into Courfeyrac's ear with an entirely different purpose. "…I guess we'll talk about that in the morning, too, huh?"
Courfeyrac let out a breathless little laugh. "Oh, you can count on it."
Marius pressed a closed-mouth kiss to the point of Courfeyrac's shoulder and reached up to pull the blanket a little higher around them before wrapping his arms around Courfeyrac, again. "OK. Tomorrow, then. For now, just sleep. You're safe… I've got you."
For the second time that night, Marius experienced the amazing feeling of the tension leaving Courfeyrac's body completely and knowing he'd been the reason it had. He tightened his hold on Courfeyrac just a bit and added, "I'm not going anywhere." Moments later, Courfeyrac was fast asleep. Marius, on the other hand, was not. Because, Marius knew Courfeyrac. Courfeyrac hardly ever asked for anything, even when he really, really needed it, and Marius would be a true fool to not realize that that tendency could extend to this new ground between them. So, Marius laid awake long into the night, ever-vigilant and determined to be ready, no matter what Courfeyrac needed… even if he couldn't bring himself to ask for it.
A/N:
Completely unbeta'ed, except by me. Hopefully I haven't left any glaring mistakes behind. ^_^ Feel free to come find me on tumblr at eirenical! ^_^
