I know this is a little off of my usual, but this came to me last night, at 12:01. Literally, I started writing this down at 12:01 AM. Spooky, right? Well this is just a one-shot, so I'm not going to be writing any more chapters for this particular story.
Do I need a disclaimer for a one-shot?
"I'm going away for awhile
And I'll be back
Don't try to follow me,
Cause I'll return as soon as possible."
Those were the last words he ever said to me. He said he'd be back. But then I went to Grant, and he told me what he told him before he left.
"See, I'm trying to find my place,
And it might not be here—
Where I feel safe."
Here, Grant said, he paused and took a deep breath, then kept talking.
"We all learn to make mistakes
And run from them."
He trailed off, according to Grant.
"From them; with no direction."
"He seemed like he was getting more confident as he talked to me. But then I heard what he was going to say next."
I was getting more and more scared as Grant told me his recollection of the conversation. And that's really saying something, seeing as I graduated from Gallagher Academy a few years ago, and I faced international terrorists trying to kidnap me.
"And I'll run from them,"
"His voice cracked here. He cleared his throat and kept talking while I stood there in shock," said Grant.
"From them, with no conviction.
And I'm just one of those ghosts,
Traveling endlessly,
Don't need no reads.
In fact, they follow me."
I was crying now. I realized that he wasn't going a mission for the CIA. He was running away from it all. Just like he suggested we should do during my junior year at Gallagher. He was mad at me for saying no, that I needed to stay and finish my spy training. He stayed with me, till now. I guess he was done waiting for me to make up my mind. I felt like it was wrong for me to run away. It felt like it was against my genetics. Maybe I'll have Liz do a test someday.
We have had numerous arguments about that. I remember our worst one this morning. The news we received right before it didn't help his mood, I guess.
"And we just go in circles,
But then I'm told this is life,
Pain is just a simple compromise."
We had just gotten the news that Joe Solomon had been killed while away on a mission. He was like a dad to him. He was so mad. I thought that he had better control, but I guess not.
It was hard to think that Mr. Solomon was gone. I was supposed to go back to Gallagher to help him teach a course to the freshmen in CovOps. Now I don't know who I'll be helping. Or if I'll still be helping anymore.
"So we can get what we want out of it"
He repeated this last line almost like a whisper, and I would have missed it if I didn't have very acute hearing.
He stormed out of our apartment, and I sat there saying out loud:
"Someone care to classify
Broken hearts and twisted minds,
So I can find someone to rely on?
And run to them, full speed ahead."
I thought of him, Joe, my dad. Just a few of the many people I relied on.
I tried to wipe away the tears that were now streaming down my face, but more came back to replace their fallen comrades. I wish people were that reliable. I thought to myself.
I started to walk around our apartment, when I came across a picture from my graduation. It was my in me cap and gown with my diploma with him next to me. His arm around me. We looked like any love-struck, high school sweethearts. I sat there, looking at the huge smiles on both of our faces. We were so happy. I was done with school, and he had already graduated, so we were ready to start out life together. I started talking to the picture of a happier time.
"Oh, you are not
Useless.
We're just misguided ghosts,
Traveling endlessly."
I knew I probably looked crazy, talking to an old picture of him and me, but it made me feel a little bit better. I wondered if, in some indirect way, I was trying to talk with
The ones we trusted the most,
Who pushed us far away.
My dad and Mr. Solomon couldn't help if they pushed us away. But he could. Reality finally sunk in.
He was pushing me away…
And there's no one road
That should all be the same.
And I'm just a ghost and still the echo me.
Right now there are only two roads. Go after him, or let him have his space and let him go. I couldn't imagine my life without him. I turned my head up to the ceiling and shouted, "What should I do?" I felt as if my father's and past mentor's ghosts were trying to help me, but it just seemed like there were telling me stuff I already knew.
They echo me in circles.
I know what to do. I have chosen the right road. I just know it. I would hurt to much every day if I chose the wrong road, and I was positive I had chosen the right one. I don't think he would have left if he didn't want me to follow him, getting us to finally run away together.
I leave tonight.
I'm going after my true love, my fiancé.
Zach. Here I come.
So how was it? It was kind of hard to write this, it was sooooooo sad! This song just reminded me of if either Zach or Cammie left the other. I couldn't imagine Cammie doing something that stupid, so I decided Zach should leave, besides, I thought that Zach would be affected the most by Joe's death.
Leave me some comments telling me what you think! As I said, this is just going to be a one-shot.
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Yours in Fandom,
Hope
The star addict
